Dyer Era

(First published in Percy Main v Seaton Delaval programme 04/05/11)

My mate Phil’s a right contrary so and so; the two football teams he hates the most are Stranraer, as he once spent 8 hours there waiting for a ferry to Larne in January 1984, and Norwich City, mainly because of all the patronising guff about everyone liking them; you know On The Ball City and Delia Smith haranguing the crowd after a crate of cooking sherry. Now I’ve no opinion about Stranraer; certainly I wasn’t prepared, as Phil was, to have a weekend up in Aberdeen supporting The Dons when they took on Stranraer in the Scottish Cup a few years back, but I have to say I like Norwich. As I write this they lie second in the Championship and may well be promoted, unlike their local rivals Ipswich, whom I developed a fairly strong antipathy towards a while ago.

When I was growing up Bobby Robson’s Ipswich were a side I enjoyed watching; they, like QPR, played open, attacking football and were a model for other unfashionable clubs in the 70s and early 80s. After Sir Bobby left, they drifted in to the doldrums, apart from a spell under George Burley. They seemed ready to implode when Royston Maurice Keane walked in to Portman Road the other year; how I enjoyed his volcanic rage on the touchline as Newcastle demolished then 4-0 during the Magpies’ Championship gap year. After 18 months of aggressive press conferences, fallings out with the playing staff and pitiful home defeats, Cork’s favourite dog walker was on his bike and the archetypal Scouse charlatan in a track suit, ace chancer Paul Jewell was appointed. He’s doing a great job, as their 5-1 home massacre by Norwich proved only too well. Of course, his side may have done better if their star loan signing from West Ham hadn’t limped out of the warm up injured.

In last week’s Shankhouse programme I touched on Twitter and Michael Owen’s inability to grasp either the genre or the effect his words were having. Likewise, team mate Darron Gibson quit the social networking site after 2 hours because of some negative comments from United fans. Just imagine if either Newcastle or West Ham fans were able to put their thoughts across to Jewell’s injured match winner in waiting; one Kieron Dyer.

Dyer cost West Ham £6m from Newcastle in summer 2007 and is widely regarded as the club’s worst ever bit of business. In that time, while failing to score a goal, he has made 15 starts and an equal number of substitute appearances, but only played the full 90 on 3 occasions. He has now been released from a contract that has cost the Hammers an eye watering £23m . Ever wonder why the modern game is in such a state? Fear not though, Paul Jewell is ready to step in and offer Dyer a 2 year deal back at his home town club Ipswich, where Dyer started off, as “ he still has a lot to give and is just the sort of experienced head we need to act as a good influence on the younger lads.” I’m not making this up you know.

When compared to West Ham’s experiences, Newcastle fans saw the Golden Era of Kieron Dyer’s career, though it didn’t feel like that very often. Arriving from Portman Road for £6m in summer 1999, Dyer was seen by many fans as the natural replacement for Peter Beardsley, though he was no doubt rocked back on his heels by the sacking of Ruud Gullit after the infamous monsoon loss to the Mackems when Dyer scored his first goal for Newcastle. He made nearly 40 appearances that year in all competitions, scoring blinding goals at home to Spurs and away to Everton, during what in many ways this was his best season. The year after (00/01) he scored 6 goals, but was injured from February onwards, not appearing again until December 2002.

During this period, the rot set in. While injured he negotiated the infamous “60 clicks” contract, giving him £60k per week basic. Generally this was paid to him for doing nothing as his incessant injuries kept him out the team. Returning to occasionally score a brilliant goal before hobbling off, it was clear he could no longer pass, shoot, head or tackle; all he could do was run. Added to this the infamous treatment of Sir Bobby with the incident involving the captain’s armband after Dyer had refused to play right wing at Boro, followed by the on field brawl with Lee Bowyer, for which Dyer got off scot free, meant he was a busted flush by 2005. Amazingly he hung around another 2 seasons, scoring a career best 7 goals in 06/07, but he left as universally reviled as Michael Owen among the Magpie faithful. Of course, with all the money he has earned, Dyer won’t care less his career has been a resounding flop and that he is held in utter contempt on Tyneside. Disgusting isn’t it?