Tuesday 31 May 2022

This Rock Goddess

 I've been to Glasgow again; Jill Lorean at the Hug & Pint was even better than Darvel v Trananet -:


Scottish alternative music in the West End of Glasgow. Scottish non-league football in darkest Ayrshire. These are about the only things that could tear me away from my beloved Tynemouth Cricket Club on a Saturday in summer. Consequently, despite my erroneous belief it was the Whitsuntide Bank Holiday weekend (cancelled in favour of 2 days of obsequious forelock-tugging, ass-kissing and base toadying to the unelected Windsor dynasty), news that the launch of Jill Lorean’s incredible debut album, This Rock, at The Hug & Pint on Great Western Road could be combined with a trip to the Lowland League promotion play-off between Darvel and Tranent, sent me scrolling through www.thetraineline.com  and www.bookings.com.

I secured a reasonably priced seat on the 08.49 from Central Station, arriving at Queen Street, on a jammed train from Waverley, at 11.37. A pleasurable wander down Sauciehall Street to #904 saw me at The Sandyford Hotel. Too early to book in, I dropped the bags and took a quick tour round Finneston, which seems to be the new Byres Road; a pleasant place where you can almost afford to eat and drink.  I didn’t though as my work pal Kenny, who accompanied me on my last Ayrshire odyssey to Auchinleck and Kilmarnock back in January, showed up to chauffeur me back in time to Darvel.

Initially, we took a detour to Kilmarnock, to enable Kenny to pick up his Scottish Junior Cup final ticket; his team Auchinleck Talbot are playing Yoker on the first Saturday in June at Rugby Park. Brief secured, we took a short drive down the road and arrived in Darvel, a prim and proper sort of place that seemed, on the surface at least, not to be the sort of location to discuss the intricacies of late 17th century Irish history, unlike so many other settlements in the Ayrshire and Lanarkshire area, just in time for kick off.


Darvel play at Recreation Park, which is accessed down a bank off the main street. Over recent years, the significant investment that has been ploughed into the club by ambitious owner John Gall has seen them rise from the Ayrshire and District League, which they won back in 2017, to the cusp of the Lowland League. This season, Darvel came to prominence courtesy of a decent run in the Scottish Cup, which caused a fixture pile-up, exacerbated by Recreation Park’s position at the bottom of a hill on the river bank, resulting in endless postponements for waterlogging. However, despite playing on average twice a week to catch up, they eventually overhauled Auchinleck to win the West of Scotland Premier Division title.

Ridiculously, or so it appears, this achievement did not grant them immediate promotion to the Lowland League. Instead they were required to participate in a three-way play-off with East of Scotland Champions Darvel and, ostensibly, South of Scotland League winners St Cuthbert Wanderers from Kirkcudbright. Obviously, the sparse population in Dumfries, Galloway, Wigtonshire and other such settlements, means St Cuthbert Wanderers were unlikely to be competitive; so it proved as Tranent battered them 7-1 and Darvel Reserves cantered to a 3-0 win. Hence, the authorities decided goal difference would be dispensed with and in the event of a draw, a penalty shoot-out would be required to decide on the winners. That, however, never remotely looked like being required.

On an immaculate playing surface, Darvel sparked into life from the off and showed a determination to win the game early. Sadly for them, the sheer number of games in their heavy legs caught up with them and the momentum swung quickly and decisively. Tranent simply picked them off with a goal in either half. The quality of the play was pleasant on the eye, as both sides sought to play football on the deck, in a contest officiated by the first bearded official I’ve ever seen take charge of a Scottish game. The game attracted a decent crowd of approximately 600, allowing me to catch up with Chris Sanderson, Dave Stoker and Davie from Cowdenbeath; always a pleasure gents…

Kenny, who was amused to see an Ayrshire rival fall at the final hurdle, whisked me back to Glasgow, passing some intriguing sights on the way, such as the former mining village of Moscow and the home of 1-time Scottish Champions Glasgow Rangers (Est 2013). A quick snooze and a stressful, counter-intuitive walk through Kelvingrove Park brought us to Great Western Road and one of my favourite pubs in the city, The Inn Deep. I’m delighted to report it is unchanged and still as fabulous as on my last visit in 2014. The Joker IPA was, of course, utterly immaculate; for those who still harbour prejudice about the quality of Scottish beer, I advise you to get on this marvel from Alloa.

The Hug & Pint is a short walk from Inn Deep and we arrived in plenty of time, though not early enough to eat, alas. Instead, we concentrated on the music and, having somehow managed to miss opening act Raveloe, which I’m still cursing myself for, I got in position for the absolutely fascinating Ali Sha Sha; a beguiling combination of voices, guitar, theremin and occasionally, cello. They are the kind of act that makes me love Glasgow so much; only the inclusivity of a city that has gender neutral toilets at gigs and an absolute intolerance of macho posturing in creative spaces, could breed such fascinating projects. All the very best to them; my ears will remain open.


Now to the headliners, Peter Kelly, Andy Monaghan and Jill O’Sullivan comprise Jill Lorean. They have released 16 songs on the Not Your First EP and This Rock album, playing 11 of them tonight, though sadly not two of my particular favourites “Your Younger Self” and “Axe to Grind,” but were an absolute inspiration. A joy to see and hear. I’ve followed wonderful Jill ever since I saw her playing bass with Alex Nielson and Alasdair Roberts in the superb Bonnie “Prince” Billy tribute project Three Queens in Mourning back in October 2018. If you don’t know their product, check it out, especially for Jill’s absolutely heart-breaking version of “New Partner” that always brings a tear to my eye.

Basically Jill Lorean are the most talented, driven and affecting power trio I can think of on earth these days. Peter and Andy’s relentless, punishing rhythm detail affords the chance for Jill to whoop, skirl, screech and hammer out on point lyrics and the craziest violin, the most perfect you’d heard since Scarlet Rivera on Dylan’s Desire or Vicky Aspinall in The Raincoats. Check out “The Breaking Down” or “Black Dog” that bookended the set and I dare you to tell me I’m wrong. And don’t forget about Jill on guitar; she hammers out those barre chords like Patti Smith, Lesley Woods and PJ Harvey rolled into one devastatingly talented, demonic force of nature. However, don’t dare think they are all about in your face confrontation; there’s plenty of gentle joy to be found, especially in the euphoric, spellbinding “Kneading,” which I suspect may be a tribute to Jill’s grandmother. It has the best bass runs I’ve heard in decades as well as a narrative lyric that should be a mini series.

After the 11 songs, the gig ended. No encore. Just thunderous, spontaneous applause and outpourings of love for an incredible talent. It’s almost impossible to explain just how glad I was to be there and how flattered, honoured, what have you, to chat to Jill afterwards. I hope they become enormous megastars. This band, this album, this show, This Rock; this was perfection. Roll on September 18th and GY!BE at the Barras, with football (TBC) the day before.


Friday 27 May 2022

Howe Great Thou Art

2017/2018: 44 points; 10th place - El Estafador Gordo

2018/2019: 45 points; 13th place - El Estafador Gordo

2019/2020: 44 points; 13th place – Algarve Broooooth

2020/2021: 45 points; 12th place – Algarve Broooooth

2021/2022: 49 points; 11th place – Nice Guy Eddie

The table above represents the end of season position of Newcastle United at the end of the last 5 seasons since their promotion back to the Premier League in 2016/2017, as well as indicating who was the manager in each of these campaigns. Ostensibly, it reflects a period of relative mid-table security, with hints at improvement in the season just ended, both in terms of points and final position. This, as we know from experience of living through these last 5 years of Newcastle United, is an example of statistical mendacity. While accepting that the league table never lies, rendering spurious all arguments that claim the team was somehow “lucky” to avoid relegation, what cannot be denied is the abominable aesthetics of performances under both Benitez and Bruce. For more than 4 seasons, with the number of exceptions countable on the fingers of one hand, the football played by Newcastle United was sterile, contemptible and cowardly. Possession was ceded as an article of faith, attacking intent was almost entirely absent and, as time went on, the rigid functionalism of Benitez’s ultra-cautious defence-based play was abandoned in favour of the brand of lazy disorganisation that Norwich and Watford specialised in over the last 9 months.

One point I am absolutely clear on is that the takeover of Newcastle United by the House of Saud, under the aegis of that despotic regime’s PIF, was a morally malignant act that has besmirched the history and traditions of my club. Make no mistake, the odious Mike Ashley’s stewardship of Newcastle United had a catastrophic effect on the club’s standing in the game and the level of hatred directed at him by a fanbase whose beloved club was treated with base contempt simply isn’t understood by almost everyone without an emotional investment in the club; that said, he has never executed 81 dissidents in one day, advocated the death penalty for women accused of adultery or the defenestration of gays. For all supporters of Newcastle United who are able to park questions of morality, however troubling it is to do so or, as appears to be the case for the vast majority, who do not appear able to appreciate the ramifications of offering up uncritical support for not just Staveley and the Ruben Brothers, but the scions of the Saudi state, the takeover has been an almost unqualified success. For a start, ignoring the meatheads in fancy dress or the buffoons bevvying on the forecourt, it enabled the departure of arch charlatan Algarve Bruce, which eventually ushered in the arrival of Nice Guy Eddie which, in turn, brought back a sense of fun rather than a miserable duty in supporting NUFC.

Frankly, the fact Newcastle climbed to 11th place and gained 49 points after failing to win until the 15th game, is little short of miraculous especially, and this may be seen as treasonous among the more zealous members of the support, as the early days of Howe’s administration were not promising; nothing showed this more than the Cambridge United FA Cup debacle. After that fiasco, things could only get better and, following the arrivals of Bruno, Targett, Trippier and, to an extent, Wood, not to mention the reveille or renaissance of Fraser, Joelinton, Krafth and Longstaff among others, they did. Once we climbed out of the bottom 3 after beating Everton at SJP on February 8th, we never again sat in a relegation place.

That said, there were still bumps in the road and when we last examined Newcastle’s progress, payaso de mierda: A Close Shave (payaso-de-mierda.blogspot.com), it was on the back of two successive away defeats to Chelsea and Everton, especially when that became 3, after Spurs kicked our arses up and down Tottenham High Road. Having been unaccountably distracted by Rotherham v Sutton in the Football League Trophy final, I didn’t tune into our game until almost half time, when I was elated to see us take the lead courtesy of Schar’s free kick. I’d actually have been better turning over after that, as it was all downhill following that. Mind, as the harbingers of social media doom utterly failed to recognise, Spurs are one hell of a side going forward and we were simply outclassed. Indeed, the 4 games we lost in the last 10 were all away to sides who qualified for the Champions’ League.

So, with 30 games gone, we still only had 31 points, with only two teams below us left to play. The situation wasn’t grim, but it required a certain degree of grit and application to get us to safety. Four successive wins went some way to achieving this and, in retrospect, the first of those over Wolves was of crucial importance, as it reminded the team they could win ugly. File this alongside Villa and Brighton at home; we shaded a dull game by sticking at it. Concentration at the back married to application in midfield and determination up top. The much maligned (generally by me) Chris Wood had his best game for us and his penalty was enough to win the game as Wolves performed on the toothless side of terrible.

Ben and Lucy had missed out on tickets for the Wolves game, but with a bit of help from my mate John in County Kildare, we got them seats for the Leicester game. I took my perch in The Rising Sun in Wallsend with my pal Curly Gary and ended up somewhere near the ceiling at full time. The game itself saw a cracking first half backed up by an excellent use of VAR to award our equaliser, and an utterly woeful second period. Frankly St Maximin was dismal all game which, allied to the fact we offered nothing up top, meant the only solace to be drawn was from our defensive solidity. And then, Willock got on and set up Bruno, at the end of one of the runs of the season, for the winner. The pub went ballistic and, soon after, when I met Ben and a still visibly shaking Lucy in The Bodega, the pub (albeit a different one) was still going ballistic. From then until my journey home, the chants of “Bruno” reverberating around the town showed no sign of diminishing. And why the hell not? He’s a world class player, who has completely bought into the ethos of the club and the positive aspects of the area, creating a mutual adoration society that I can’t recall since the early days of Ginola. Of course, a decent World Cup and he’ll be off to La Liga for £150m, so we’d best enjoy him while we can.

I’ve never been one interested in dodgy streams of games, and I maintained that stance during the Palace game. Despite getting several reliable links from social media, all I saw were zillions of pop-up porn adverts. Hence, with no live domestic coverage, I opted for Sky Sports News and then Match of the Day, being frustrated by minimal coverage on both. What I did see was an assured first half performance, including a long overdue telling contribution from Almiron, and a dull second half with Zaha wasting every piece of good possession Palace achieved. Perhaps the biggest surprise was St Maximin keeping his place ahead of Willock, especially after the dramatic end to the Leicester game. The surreal fact at full time was that Newcastle had clocked up 40 points and 6 successive home wins for the first time since 2004; who on earth expected that state of affairs when we were getting our arses handed to us on a weekly basis under Algarve-Bruce? The Palace game was a tribute to the guts and guile approach of Howe; the Norwich victory was a celebration of Brazilian flair.

43 points and a place in the top half of the table were the ultimate rewards for another scintillating display by Bruno and Joelinton. The latter’s finish for his first goal made me question whether the shambling oaf who appeared to be Lenny from Of Mice and Men in a football kit against the likes of Rochdale, is the same beast that terrorises defences and bites into brilliant tackles these days. His second showed great predatory instincts and Bruno’s immaculate finish was almost wasted on a keeper as inept as Krul. Howe made 4 changes to the side that had eased past Palace, and every single one of them put in a storming performance. In fact, the only NUFC person to have a bad weekend was the predatory misogynist Steve Wallwork, who refused to accept the error of his ways.

Obviously, there are better teams than us, and we lost to them both without scoring in our next couple of games. I didn’t see any of the Liverpool loss as I was playing cricket, but I was almost pleased by the narrow nature of the defeat, even if they scarcely stirred out of second gear. The result showed us two things; just how far we’ve come, as it wasn’t a hammering, and just how far we still have to go, as we couldn’t lay a glove on them. I said at the time Man City wouldn’t be so compassionate, and they weren’t. In the wake of their Madrid nightmare, I predicted they come again, viciously, and trounce us 6-0. In fact, I had no cause to be disappointed in either the score or the performance, despite only seeing the last 20 minutes after Northumberland v Cheshire at South North. I was encouraged by the performance of Sicknote Wilson, though saddened by the late gloss they added to the score by savaging our already dismembered corpse. Man City are in a different stratosphere to us and there’s absolutely no point in crying about such a loss on social media.

If you want to see cryarsing on the net, Arsenal fans do it best of all. They really raised the bar again after this one, seriously suggesting the team be made to walk back to London. You see Arsenal are absolute cowards when it comes down to it, and I’d fancied us to get something from this game, which is why John got me a ticket to accompany him on his last visit to SJP in his 60s. Despite the surprising level of noise generated by 500 Gooners outside The Victoria & Comet, they were silenced from the first whistle onwards. Not only did Newcastle play them off the park throughout the game, but the display by Wor Flags melted the heart of this cynical old curmudgeon. I’ve not heard the ground as loud, proud and defiant as this in years.

And what about those goals? St Maximin’s instinctive lay off to Joelinton, who produced the best cross I’ve seen all season for the opener or Sean’s sublime flick (worthy of a 3-year deal that one) and Bruno’s predatory instinct for the second. Even more delicious than the pre- and post-game bevvies in The Bodega and The Trent. We’ve got some very good players in our squad and working with Eddie Howe is helping them be even better. Benitez scared them and Algarve Bruce indulged them; Eddie works with them to produce a united display of solidarity and belief that is the equal of the fans’ pride off it. I could fall in love with this club all over again you know. I might even get the green and white third kit; not that I’m a fan of Saudi Arabia, but I am a staunch supporter of Hibernian and Irish Republicanism.

Sadly, not everything I hoped for came to pass, as our win over Burnley meant Dirty Leeds stayed up. Don’t get me wrong, I have no affection for a club that Eddie bailed on years back as the job was too big for him and who offloaded Chris Wood onto us. For me, Burnley are the epitome of former Red Wall Labourites turned reactionary racists with small minds in a small town; they won’t be missed. I missed the game as, for no apparent reason, Sky opted against showing it live. The highlights again showed Wilson to be almost the complete Premier League centre forward, if only he could be relied on to remain fit. Wood isn’t, of course, and he’s one of a number of lads who may well be out the door over the summer and, other than Hendrick I guess, they’ll probably go with our best wishes.

The close season offers up the exciting prospect of Newcastle United improving the squad for the second transfer window running; if that comes to pass, then the nightmare of the Ashley Years will truly begin to fade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday 21 May 2022

Dissociation Football

 The 2021/2022 Northern Alliance season has ended...


It’s a reasonable assumption to make that I write a blog or a report about every single game of football I attend. Well, that is more or less true, especially as I see it as my responsibility to spread the word about the wonderful Northern Alliance, but there are occasions when that doesn’t quite work out. For instance, Newcastle Chemfica Amateurs 0 Newcastle East End 1 on Wednesday 13th April doesn’t merit more of a mention than the final score, as nothing actually happened. Similarly, the last game of the season, when Stobswood beat Burradon & New Fordley 1-0 in the George Dobbins League Cup final at Forest Hall on Wednesday 18th May was so dire it stopped me laughing at Frankfurt’s UEFA League triumph, though the mirth was still there.

Similarly, Newcastle Blue Star’s routine 4-0 win at Cullercoats on Easter Monday morning doesn’t need much deep analysis, other than to say the visitors could have doubled their goal tally with a fraction more composure.  However, I’ll always assess Percy Main games in depth and the last game of this campaign I was present at was the following…

 


For their penultimate game of the 2021/2022 season, Percy Main Amateurs visited Burradon & New Fordley’s temporary base of Action Park, recently the home of sadly defunct Shankhouse FC. As has so often been the case over this benighted campaign, the Main travelled with a scratch squad, decimated by unavailability and further hampered by a litany of niggles, twists and strains that bedevilled half the team for this Easter Monday evening game. However, despite such an unpromising starting point, Percy put in a praiseworthy performance against one of the division’s best footballing sides on a gloriously sunny early evening that rapidly cooled as dusk fell.

Playing uphill and with a low sun directly in their eyes, Percy Main were more than a match for their opponents in the first half an hour. Indeed, a well-organised Main defence, with debutant Mark Nicholson outstanding throughout, ensured that neither keeper was truly tested. Burradon, as could have been expected, lofted many testing balls into the box, but these efforts lacked accuracy. That said, the home side really ought to have taken the lead after 26 minutes when Kai Lane, unmarked in the 6-yard box, seemed a certain scorer when the ball came to him via the foot of the post. Incredibly he skied his shot and PMA breathed again. Soon after the Main’s cause was weakened when Lee Johnson limped off and on 40 minutes, Fordley took the lead. Rambunctious centre back Colin White rose at the back post and sent in a looping header that deceived keeper Matthew Ridley and dropped agonisingly over the line, despite several brave efforts to clear the ball.

In the second half, Percy Main came again and showed that the nucleus of a good team exists amid the raft of injuries. For the first 15 minutes after the break, The Main were well on top and equalised just before the hour. After Kevin Osayi was unnecessarily fouled on the touchline, just past halfway, Billy Walker took a superb, accurate free kick that Dean Deagle headed forcefully home. It was no less than the visitors deserved, but unfortunately New Fordley are a strong and determined side, who came strongly back into it. A contentious foul 30 yards from goal resulted in a free kick that Joe Besford majestically fired home via the underside of the bar on 65 minutes and 5 minutes later Marty Roper made the points safe, reacting quickly to poke home a loose ball in the area.

It was another defeat, but an honourable one. Much credit must be given to the players who made themselves available on an Easter Monday evening and who, without exception, fought nobly for the Villagers’ cause. The season ends with a trip to Wallington on Saturday 24th April. Kick off at scenic Oakwood Park is 2.30pm.

Before that game, I made it to the Northumberland FA Minor Cup final, which saw AFC Newbiggin and Newcastle East End draw 1-1 on a freezing Friday evening at Blue Flames. Cowardice defeated valour and I made for the Metro when the full time whistle blew. Did I miss much? Well, there was no extra time, but the penalty shootout made up for it in terms of length of entertainment, with Newbiggin prevailing 12-11. Congratulations to them, and also to Wallington who sneaked past Percy Main by a margin of 14-0 on the Saturday. After that game, Derek Thompson departed the managerial hot seat at Purvis Park, with Whitley Bay Reserves legend, Gavin Hattrick, stepping into the role for next season. I wasn’t at Wallington, having been drafted into Tynemouth 3s, for whom I made a flamboyant 0 in an 83 run defeat to Annfield Plain 2s in chilly, north west Durham.

Of course, there were still plenty of Alliance games to watch and I set foot in Grounsell Park for the first time in 8 years to see Heaton Stannington A beat champions Stobswood 4-1 in a Division 2 encounter. Ironically, I left just after half time with the Stan, or The Russell Group as they should be called, considering the manager’s educational background, losing by a goal to nil. Chill winds can do that to a spectator, though I showed more fortitude a week later, hanging around until the end of West Moor and Jesmond’s 7-1 trouncing of a foul-mouthed Seaton Burn side, whose number 14 brought the game into disrepute with every  blast of acid invective from his pitiful potty mouth. West Moor’s number 7 was a jewel of a player, scoring a superb hat trick as they ground their oath-edged opponents underfoot.

 


Speaking of oath-edged talk, the former Jesmond side, who were the bane of the Tyneside Amateur League, are now known as Newcastle Independent and have recently been promoted to the top division. I saw their last midweek home game of the season on Wednesday 11th May, when they shaded AFC Newbiggin 3-2 in a thoroughly excellent game of football. Newbiggin, with Jack Cooper and Jay Hornsby in their ranks, look favourites for the D1 title next season, while Newcastle Independent may struggle, certainly on the sidelines, with regular losses to better sides than them.

 


Having already splashed out £30 on next season’s Percy Main season ticket, I will be at as many Alliance games as humanly possible.

 

 


Sunday 15 May 2022

Performance!

 Rock & Roll; that's where I'm coming from....

Music:

Since we last spoke, I’ve attended 5 gigs and purchased 5 albums, so let’s talk about the live experiences first.  Back on March 19th, I took a terribly percussive bus journey on the 10 out towards the Tyne Valley, alighting in Ryton for TQ’s Auntie Joy 2 at Holy Cross Church. Not being a member of the Anglican Communion myself, I was unsure what to expect, but found myself arriving in a deeply relaxed state of mind after a bucolic walk through what appears to be a lovely community. Holy Cross is a strikingly attractive building and an excellent space for the kind of reflective, immersive musical experience Auntie Joy sought to create. It made me think there may be a future yet for all these redundant draughty, stone edifices, built for a previous way of life.

 


The event began with the insistent pealing of pulsating church bells that was compelling without being overtly intrusive. From this point, impressively talented percussion artist Christian Alderson assumed the central role. His whole performance was a testament to the need for events such as this, for experiencing him in the flesh was a joy and an honour. Next up, Shunyata Improvisation Group, reduced to a trio by COVID concerns, brought things down to a more contemplative level, with quiet acoustic exploration, which was maintained when Kate Halsall, virtuoso harmonium player, joined the performance. Unlike Shunyata, Kate played scripted rather than improvised pieces, but the pastoral element to her practice added a fragile beauty in keeping with the ambience and surroundings. The final section saw all 3 performance elements joined by the tolling of a single, funereal bell in a performance of aching solemnity. The conclusion completely made sense in the context of the morning. It was a wonderful event and deserved a far higher crowd than it drew. Certainly, I preferred it to Ryton & Crawcrook Albion 1 Bedlington Terriers 0 where I spent the afternoon.

The next time I saw Shunyata was on Friday May 13th at Cobalt Studios in the Ouseburn. Not only was I there to observe, but also to participate, having asked if I could collaborate with them on a piece related to the evening’s theme of “Escape.” Each collaborator was given 15 minutes and a wholly, spontaneous, improvised piece with Shunyata was the target. I must admit, as a spoken word practitioner, I did write an outline piece, though once I was caught up in the moment, I began to deviate from the scripted page and follow where the mood took me. Certainly I enjoyed it, as did Shunyata. I was almost overcome with emotion when applause rang out. It reinforced my awareness that I need to be more creative and to participate in further events like this.

In fact, an hour later, I sat in with Shunyata and Andy Wood, the editor of TQ magazine and promoter of Auntie Joy, playing acoustic guitar. It was so instructive to try and find a complementary style that fits with the vibe of the other musicians. I mainly played harmonics and paired notes, but it seemed to fit in with Andy’s wonderful pastoral field recordings and understated keyboard phrasings. I absolutely adored this. I must also pay tribute to the other participants, who made this a memorable event: Richard Scott (violin), Katie Oswell (voice artist), Tobias Sarra (guitar), Posset (sound artist) who I knew as Joe Murray, singer with Lumpsucker et al 30 years ago, Debra Milne (voice artist) and Charlotte Kennedy (violin) all played their part in a superb showcase of improvised music.

So that leaves us with 3 gigs to discuss: Teenage Fanclub at Leeds Beckett University on April 2nd, the Band of Holy Joy at North Shields Wheelhouse on April 15th and the Wedding Present at Newcastle Boiler Shop on April 30th. You couldn’t really have a better month’s entertainment than that, or perhaps we could if Lavinia Blackwall hadn’t cancelled her show at Bobik’s on April 2nd, due to family illness.

Having endured Farsley Celtic 1 Kettering Town 1, I met up with Ben, Lucy and Sara in Leeds and enjoyed a couple of good pints on the way up to Beckett Student Union. When it was The Poly, I saw Swans, Age of Chance, Misty in Roots and Big Black there. They appear to have made it smaller and wider since the late 80s. Despite all the worries about post Gerry Fannies not cutting the mustard, with Big Dave laid low by COVID as well, they were sublime. I got centre stage front row, between Norman and Raymond. A superb view and a superb 20-song show that walked on water from the opening Home to the closing Everything Flows. They are still the best fucking band in the world, even without Gerry’s songs. It was a triumph and a tear-provoking joy.


Speaking of joy, just how exactly does Johny Brown manage to raise the bar higher on every performance up here? With another new musician and without a drummer, the Band of Holy Joy killed Good Friday at The Engine Room on the Quay. A set drawn from ancient and modern releases, performed immaculately and with a hammered audience delirious after Shields won promotion, this was the only place to do. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house when they blitzed Tactless and Rosemary Smith. Sam Fender will have to play for a long time to be the equal of Johny Brown.


The Boilershop is the best big venue in town and the Wedding Present made a decent attempt at filling it for the Seamonsters 30
th anniversary tour. It’s my favourite Weddoes album and Dalliance, Corduroy, Carolyn and Heather were all stratospherically good. He’s got a good band with him at the minute, especially James Beer-Pierce back on guitar. They second part of the set saw My Favourite Dress and Kennedy ruling the world as ever, so despite my misgivings about much of what he does being a glorified attempt to flesh out his pension pot, the boy Gedge done good again.

As regards the music I purchased, the first item was Where the Waters Meet, which is David Scott’s interpretation of a cycle of poems written by Alex Reed in memory of his recently deceased wife. It is, by necessity, a solemn set, but the understated angularity of Scott’s guitar is a fitting tribute and a worthy consideration of some heartfelt words. I picked this up at Auntie Joy 2 and have no further information about the project.

One artist who could never be called obscure is Sam Fender. I’ve never seen him play live and probably won’t have that pleasure, but I’ve had a beer with him on several occasions, in both the Tynemouth Lodge, which is my second home, and Low Lights Tavern, which is his. Once I had the strange experience of him recognising me and seeking me out for a chat, which shows you just what a lovely lad he is. Like those other graduates of John Spence High School, Sean and Matty Longstaff, Sam is a bloody great young man and a humble, grounded credit to their family and to Shields as a whole.

However, I was unable to pass any comment on Sam’s music, as I’d not heard any of it. A decade ago, perhaps more, I had a lot of time for his older brother Liam’s rootsy folk stuff, but his star sadly waned just as Sam hit the big time. I’d assumed from his persona and the noise surrounding him, that he’d be on a Clash type trajectory and then I heard Seventeen Going Under, the single I mean. That suggested he was more likely to be looking to be a Tyneside Springsteen than a Shields Strummer, not just because of the presence of sax superstar Johnny Blue Joke. I saw Sam doing the song on the Christmas Top of the Pops and seriously felt proud while watching him perform. Laura revealed that she had ordered me the special edition of the album from Santa, specifically because the cover was the work of one of my very favourite artists, David Shrigley. Brilliant news, but “production difficulties” meant the release had been “indefinitely delayed.”

Eventually, the very smart looking disc arrived in time for Easter. To my ears, it’s a good listen, blessed by 3 absolute belter tracks (the title cut, plus the anthemic pair of Last to Make it Home and The Dying Light), with only one duff number that I’ll not mention here. The real disappointment for me is that the magnificent Howdon Aldi Death Queue only makes it onto the Deluxe edition, which is a shame. As I say, Sam’s made a good record here and he’s obviously a great lad, witnessed by the presence of Liam on stage at the Arena on rhythm guitar. All you can do is wish the pair of them all the best for the future.

I’ve long made my peace with the appalling exploitation visited upon the average mug punter by Record Store Day. Consequently, I bought Ben the 7” of Jimbrowski by The Jungle Brothers as it is an essential slice of 1980s Hip Hop and Not About to Die, Wire’s set of demos for tracks that would eventually make it on to Chairs Missing and 154. For myself, I made the choice to opt for a recording of Sandy Denny’s last ever gig, Gold Dust, rather than the more expensive Early Home Recordings set. However, I can’t promise I won’t return to Windows for that incredibly appealing set.  Gold Dust is patchy, relating more to the quality of the material, but certainly worth getting hold of. While I tend to regard supposedly seminal Sandy solo tracks like The Lady and John the Gun as less than essential, the lesser-known Stranger to Himself is an absolute stand-out track that deserves equal billing with certified classics The North Star Grassman, Who Knows Where the Time Goes and the heartrending closer, No More Sad Refrains. While the band is a little to schmaltzy to ever be regarded as the equal of Fairport, they compliment her attempts at commerciality quite well. I’m glad to have bought this.



I was elated to find a copy of Bardo Pond’s glorious sludgefest, Bufo Alvarius. The absolute epitome of stoner post rock, this is eminently familiar Bardo Pond territory: slow, repetitive bass riffs, economic drumming, inaudible, whiney vocals and nerve-shredding, deafening squalls of intense psychedelic guitar and wailing feedback, stretched over 4 sides of vinyl. In the case of one track, Amen, weighing in at 29.15, it stretches across two sides by itself. Perhaps this is even too indulgent for me, as the first disc is by far my favourite. Seven superb slabs of dingy, gruelling laze rock slop. Go to Back Porch or On a Side Street and see where I’m coming from. Stoner rock that’s too stoned to even skin up. A veritable masterpiece.

A contemporary masterpiece is Jill Lorean’s dazzling debut, This Rock. Having charmed me half to death with Alex Neilson and Alasdair Roberts in the Bonnie “Prince” Billy tribute act, Three Queens in Mourning, Jill knocked me sideways with her stunning debut EP, Not Your First last year. This Rock continues in the same vein as Not Your First, but benefits from a whole 50 minutes, to produce a cogent and compelling call to arms in the dystopian shadow of apocalyptic late era capitalism. Jill’s voice, by turns as sweet as Maddy Prior and as raw as Maggie Bell, spins nursery nightmares and beguiling bittersweet lullabies, accompanied by scorching shards of violin that Warren Ellis or John Cale would be proud of. Yet at other times, we get sweet Glaswegian indie as fresh as a Sunday stroll by the Kelvinside, though with barbed lyrics that make you sit up and listen. An astonishing triumph and I can’t wait to see them at The Hug & Pint on Great Western Road on May 28th. Anyone in the environs who choses to watch the Champions League final instead kneads their bumps felt (see what I did there, eh?).

Books:

The first book I picked up since we last spoke was Brian Glanville’s Soccer Round the World. Published back in 1959, it is a gazetteer of the spread and standing of the global game, written in the wake of the 1958 World Cup. Typical of Glanville’s work, it contains abrupt generalisations (“we need to see more of them against higher grade opposition”), often couched in inappropriately verbose language (“the egregious caprices of officiating martinets”), making it both wearisome and unintentionally amusing.

Glanville’s book was part of the pile of football books donated by my pal Kenny up in Glasgow. Some of the stuff he’s given me is great, while others, not so much. I particularly enjoyed Tony Cascarino’s Full Time, which I remembered garnering much praise at the time of its publication. An honest, unflinching tale of infidelity, financial insecurity and the wearying awareness that time’s winged chariot has us all in its sights, it doesn’t make you particularly like the author, but I certainly finished the thing with considerably more respect for someone I’d always viewed as an immobile donkey in a green shirt, on his appearances for Ireland. Still, having been part of the Gillingham side that relegated Sunderland in 1987, he’ll always have a place in my heart.

Bob Crampsey’s Aberdeen Final Edition was an interesting account of all the Scottish Cup finals played by the Dons, until 1990 when the book was published. With Crampsey, you have precise and articulate prose that lifts the book above the drudgery of chronological match reports, perceptively interweaving it with contemporary cultural nuggets and recollections from the players involved. In that sense it is diametrically opposed to Andrew McArthur’s Over the Top with the Tartan Army; a repetitious, demotic account of a series of drinking bouts in various European capital cities as Scotland prepared to qualify for the 1998 World Cup. That seems incidental to exhaustive retelling of days on the gargle in airport lounges, Irish bars and market squares, involving a load of people you learn nothing of and care less about. Dull.

Craig White, the fraudulent, diminutive Hun who succeed in liquidating the World’s most evil club within six months of buying Castle Greyskull, produced a self-serving, arrogant summary of how he had nothing to do with the death of the most loathsome example of Calvinist culture ever to disfigure the proud Scotch nation. Suffice to say, in his tawdry little pension pot project, Into the Bears’ Den, he finds it impossible to accept any blame for the whole operation going under, preferring to heap the blame on David Murray and that hero of Wearside, Martin Bain. All in all a mucky, mendacious read that tragically ends with White avoiding a spell in Barlinnie.

Finally, digging through a load of old boxes in the garage, I came across James M Cain’s superb pulp potboiler, The Postman Always Rings Twice, which has twice been made into a film. For some reason, despite its brevity (124 pages), I didn’t get round to reading this on my MA in Twentieth Century American Literature. I’m glad I did now. A taut, unforgiving plot; desperate and degenerate characters combining searches for love and money in the arid California of the depression. The inevitable tragic denouement is as predictable as it is crushing. A thoroughly enjoyable little read.


Tuesday 3 May 2022

2021/2022 Fanzine CV

 And year after year, their numbers get fewer…

 

Percy Main Amateurs programme; 9 editions

Pog Mo Goal#7; On-U Sound System

View from the Allotment End #17; Taking the Knee

View from the Allotment End #18; Double Scotch, No Ice