Thursday, 14 September 2023

Your Friends in the North

Issue #22 of the wonderful New Ferriby fanzine View from the Allotment End is out this weekend. You really should buy it, not just because I've go this piece in it -:



Belated congratulations to everyone at North Ferriby, whether the part you play for your club is on the pitch or off. It’s wonderful to see the renascent club continuing to climb the Pyramid. Having undergone a painful divorce from my formerly beloved Newcastle Benfield, now and as ever of Northern League Division 1, I have happily found myself madly back in love with Percy Main Amateurs of the Northern Alliance Premier Division. Anyone who is remotely interested in the first flowerings of my romance with the Main can have a free copy of the book I wrote about the club, Village Voice, by either sending me a DM to @GloveLitZine or an email to iancusack@blueyonder.co.uk

The Northern Alliance Premier Division, which is unquestionably the best football league in the world, stands at Step 7 in the non-league pyramid, and as Purvis Park has neither floodlights nor seating, nor any plan to install such luxuries, there’s zero chance of seeing us progress. Ever. Hence, for the foreseeable future, it’ll be annual contests with the likes of Alnwick Town, Cramlington United, Killingworth, Ponteland, Rutherford and a dozen other regular visitors. I’ve no problem with that; at our level, familiarity breeds companionship not contempt. Indeed, in my days at Benfield two steps higher in the pyramid, little changed in terms of our rivals from season to season. Alright, there was internal movement between the two divisions, but the famously insular Northern League, which had a reputation for being as open to overtures of increased contact with the rest of the football world as Bhutan and North Korea are to the United Nations, remained in splendid isolation. Remember, this was the competition that spurned the opportunity of direct promotion into the Conference when the pyramid was first created.

Suddenly, everything changed when the FA insisted that clubs finishing at the top of Step 5 leagues had to go up, whether they wanted to or not. This, alongside the recently introduced play off system between Step 4 under-achievers and Step 5 runners-up, means that the Northern Premier League East features 6 former Northern League teams. Indeed, other former Northern League teams have gone further; Gateshead have never been part of the Northern League, while Blyth Spartans, Gretna (RIP) and Spennymoor left for pastures new back in the 70s and 80s, while more recent departures South Shields, drawing near 2,000 gates to their sterile Filtrona Park ground, are in the National League North, no to mention Morpeth, boasting a millionaire benefactor in Ken Beattie and a pleasantly rural home of Craik Park in a wooded copse just off Morpeth Common, and Marske United, who play at the charmingly ramshackle and ironically named Mount Pleasant, are in the Northern Premier League Premier Division.

Bear in mind that two of last season’s relegated clubs from the NPLE have returned to the Northern League, so you could have been heading up this way even more often than you already are. While Shildon and their glorious Dean Street ground, home to a magnificent pagoda style stand, simply had a lousy season on the pitch, North Shields finished 7th. The sad facts were that their rancid, decrepit Ralph Gardiner Park failed a ground inspection after league officials discovered not a spade had been turned in 9 months regarding the improvements Shields had been ordered to make as a condition of their acceptance in the league, despite an anonymous benefactor stumping up the cash for the work required (remember, Shields is the home town of local lads made good Sam Fender and Sean Longstaff).

Anyway, here’s a brief guide to the 6 clubs you’ll visit that were previously in the Northern League. I’ve also been to Liversedge, which is an interesting little spot, providing you can navigate the long and winding country lane that leads to their door. As I’m writing this in early August, I don’t obviously know if Ferriby will face any other Northern League clubs in knock-out competitions other than Crook Town. I do know you’ve drawn them at home, but I don’t know if there are replays in this season’s competition. If there are, and you need one, then I hope you went, as Crook’s home of Millfield is one of my very favourite grounds in the world; a truly atmospheric old-style arena with concrete steps up to high terracing from the turnstile and two covered stands down the left touch line. Both of them have seen better days, but the cover provided and the chance to sit on wooden tip up seats can’t be beaten. A true gem of a ground that has rather more to recommend it than the some of the other places I’m about to mention.

Ashington: Undoubtedly the most vocal supporters, though equally linguistically incomprehensible, of all the 6 ex-NL clubs, Ashington have one hell of a history. Birthplace of the Charlton Brothers and NUFC legend Jackie Milburn, Ashington were a league club between 1923 and 1929, drawing crowds in excess of 13,000 to their beautiful old Portland Park home. Sadly, by the early 90s the club was on its last legs. A mass rallying round of the local populace saw crowds and interest explode, though Portland Park itself was beyond repair. They moved to the well appointed Woodhorn Lane in 2009 and last season finished second in the Northern League. Home fans can be disputatious and fond of the language of the snooker hall, but you will have a good day out in south east Northumberland. Highly recommended.

Consett: I see this game is scheduled for early September, so those of you who went will no doubt agree that Belle View Park, which replaced the original, imposing Belle Vue Park that boasted a main stand built by militant miners during the 1926 General Strike, is a dull, functional 4G cage. Funded by local oligarch, the plasticine-nosed Frank Bell, Consett are a community club, boasting dozens of junior teams, that used the funds generated by youngsters’ memberships and renting out the pitch, to build an excellent squad. Their manager, Tony Fawcett, is one of my former students, so I’m glad to see him doing so well.

Dunston: Originally known as Dunston Federation Brewery, they played their early football in the Wearside League, despite being 100 yards from the south bank of the Tyne. After a distinguished spell in the Northern League, during which time they won the FA Vase, they’ve made the step up and their Boxing Day draw at Hebburn in December 2021 was the best game I saw in the entire 2021/2022 season. Unfortunately, recent publicity has seen an unfortunate incident involving local hoodlums driving a hearse onto the pitch, causing the abandonment of a pre-season friendly with Gateshead. Don’t let this put you off, the UTS Stadium isn’t the setting for an update of Get Carter, it’s a down-to-earth ground for a down-to-earth club, run by down-to-earth people, including their incredibly angry chair, Malcolm James. I intend to be here on October 14th for the visit of Ferriby.

Hebburn Town: For years, Hebburn were a lower-ranking Northern League Division 2 side, with a 3-sided ground opposite a graveyard that they shared with Hebburn Cricket Club (RIP) and, on the far side, Northern Alliance side Hebburn Reyrolle (RIP). Less than a decade ago, the club was dying, but community regeneration, helped by the fact the football club is about the only place you can get a pint in the town, other than the enticingly named Protestant Conservative Club that I’ve unsurprisingly on both counts, never set my left foot in, means the whole place is a vibrant social hub. Sadly, the cricket club were forced out and folded and Reyrolle have become Hebburn Reserves, playing at a local school on a 4G pitch, with their original home used for first team warm-up routines. I know there was a bit of a contretemps in the Vase a few years back with Ferriby, but I’ve always enjoyed my visits to the South Tyneside club that welcomes everyone, as opposed to South Shields that is full of Mackems who are only there because they can’t source free tickets for the SoS. I intend to follow up my visit to Dunston with a trip to see Ferriby at Hebburn the week after, on October 21st.

Newton Aycliffe: To draw an analogy, Newton Aycliffe winning the Northern League last season was as unexpected as Leicester City claiming the Premier League in 2016. Their success literally came out of nowhere. Their small and unassuming ground is hidden behind the local rugby and cricket clubs, accessed via a muddy footpath they may need to pave sharpish. I’ve been three of four times, seeing Benfield win, lose and draw here, but I’ve nothing more to say other than make sure you set your Sav Navs as this is a hard place to find. I very much doubt I’ll be getting in the festive spirit when Ferriby are the visitors on December 23rd.

Stockton Town: Formed around 2015, Stockton Town built their utterly soulless and functional Bishopstown Road 4G cage as a cash cow to fund club progress. They swept through the North Riding League and both divisions of the Northern League, beating Benfield 4-0 every time we met, before taking up a spot in the NPLE. Having barely spent any time in the Northern League, their promotion and departure was not mourned. Indeed, Stockton Town may be the perfect example of how football fans support a team, but not necessarily the league they are in. Watch out for their local rivals Boro Rangers arriving in the NEPL in 2024.

So, there you are; my guide to your friends in the north. Remember, the only hearses you’ll see on a pitch in Ashington are the four-legged ones called Shergar.


 

 


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