What? Another Year!!

The North East non-league season is over. As ever, the Northern Alliance proved itself to be the greatest football competition on earth -:

The last non-league game involving a north east team during the 2022-2023 season, was the Gateshead v Halifax FA Trophy final at Wembley on Sunday 21^st May. Frankly, it was shit. Halifax were marginally less awful and probably deserved their win, courtesy of a spawny deflected goal, but what the whole sorry non-event showed me was that the idea of allowing players to end their competitive season on 29^th April and then expecting them to maintain sharpness, match fitness and the will to win after 3 aimless weeks of phoney war, is an absolute joke. Both teams and both sets of fans deserved to be treated with more compassion and support than they were. The FA need to look at the scheduling of this event in future. However, looking at how the season played out, there is no doubt in my mind that Mike Williamson is second only to Eddie Howe in the North East Manager of the Year awards, as he has done an amazing job at the International Stadium, keeping up a side who were bottom at New Year in the division because of a sparkling run of form that saw them not only getting to Wembley, but finishing almost halfway up the division, in their first campaign after promotion. As ever, I didn’t see much of The Heed, mainly on account of the prohibitive pricing for home games, but the 2-2 draw with York I took in on 2^nd January, which they ought to have won by a canter, saw a side keen on playing it on the floor, doing things the right way, and utterly unified with their fans, stamping their right to be taken seriously as Tyneside’s second team. More power to their elbow and here’s hoping for, at least, consolidation next time around.

Stepping down a level, Spennymoor and Darlington seem to have had decent campaigns, ending the year 8^th and 9^th respectively in National League North, though Blyth Spartans, as ever, did things the hard way and only managed to stay up with a 5-0 win over Hereford, of all teams, on the last day of the season. Their eventual 17^th place finish has still not been enough to pacify a notoriously grumpy fanbase who, in the wake of a Northumberland Senior Cup final loss to Morpeth Town, are still calling for manager Graham Fenton’s head, on account of the fact they’re the most famous non-league side in the world because they reached the quarter finals of the FA Cup in 1978, or something. Rumours of Fenton’s potential decampment to Darlington still persist. Next season Fenton’s former side South Shields will be on-field rivals, having finally won the Northern Premier League. The eternally popular Kevin Phillips has successfully completed his PR rather than coaching job, got a nice tick for his CV and cleared his desk in search of bigger bucks elsewhere, allowing Julio Arca, a stalwart of the Mariners from their Northern League days, to take over. This just might be a very astute appointment. Good luck to them and especially their lifelong fan, my old pal John Melville. Sadly, their ground makes me feel too claustrophobic I must admit, so I’ll probably not be there in person.

In the Northern Premier League, Morpeth will be only north east representatives next season, with their nearest rivals being Markse United, about 60 miles to the south. Spurred on by the fanatical support of the Shunyata Ultras, The Dandy Highwaymen achieved 17^th spot in the league, after looking in some peril for much of the campaign but ended proceedings in a positive frame of my mind by, as has already been mentioned, securing the Northumberland FA Senior Cup at St James Park. Down below, the Northern Premier League East continues to metamorphose into a post-graduate Northern League. Stockton Town finished second but lost in the play-off final. Hebburn were third, having lost in the play-off semi. Dunston were sixth and my pal Tony Fawcett secured 13^th spot for Consett. Unfortunately, Shildon had a nightmare season, finished 19^th and were relegated back to the Northern League.

Strangest of all was the fate of North Shields. Promoted to great acclaim last summer, they singularly failed to do a single item on the list of compulsory ground developments they were required to do to cement their status at a higher level, pleading poverty on the back of a humiliatingly poorly subscribed Just Giving campaign. Then, having finished a highly creditable 7^th in the division, they announced after failing their ground grading inspection, that a generous donation was now in place to enable the belated completion of the work, even if not a spade had been turned to bring the ground up to scratch at that point. Unsurprisingly, the FA dismissed their appeal out of hand and the Robins are now back in Northern League Division 1, where some of their more media savvy followers will no doubt pick up the baton of freeloading unctuousness from the Wansbeck paparazzi now Ashington have been rightfully promoted. For Shields, their difficulties now begin in earnest, with the departure of Marc Nash as manager and his replacement by the relatively inexperienced, but fabulously wealthy Dan Iredale, who has a modest track record, at best, from his days in charge of Cullercoats and then Ryton & Crawcrook Albion.

Elsewhere in the Northern League, Newton Aycliffe were the surprise League Champions, Pickering Town have been laterally transferred after a difficult debut campaign, to the more geographically congenial Northern Counties East Premier, saving Sunderland RCA from relegation to Division 2, and poor old Willington have plummeted into the Wearside League, after a nightmare season in the second division. In their place, bringing the league back to a 20:22 split, we see the arrivals of FC Hartlepool, from the Wearside League, Newcastle Blue Star, who finally achieved their dream of winning the Alliance and North Riding representatives Yarm & Eaglescliffe, who groundshare at Billingham Town. That’ll be one new ground for me to visit, the Grayfields enclosure, or possibly 3 if Boro Rangers and Chester le Street United finally get their planned, functional 4G cages in working order. Whoopee eh?

As ever, the Northern Alliance proved itself to be the greatest football competition on earth during 2022-2023, maintaining 4 thoroughly sporting divisions at a highly praiseworthy standard, with almost every club being a credit to the league, other than the unnecessary on-line gloating from Newcastle Independent, who have form for this sort of thing, after beating Blue Star, Premier Champions and Challenge Cup winners it should be noted, in the NFA Bowl.

While we know for certain Blue Star have been promoted, nobody has been relegated from the Northern League to replace them. Indeed, the actual composition of the Alliance for 2023-2024 will not be known until after the AGM in early June. During the season just ended, Red House Farm and Seaton Sluice resigned from Division 2, leaving it to run 2 clubs short, and Division 3 started with only 15 at the outset, followed by the rapid disappearance of West Moor & Jesmond Under 23s after a chastening 20-0 lacing at the hands of Wallsend Boys Club Under 23s. Hence, such anomalies will need to be addressed by admitting several new applicants, names TBC. There are, of course, rumours about who has called it a day, but with the exception of Stocksfield who have gone public over their departure from Saturday competitive football, it is well to be wary of idle speculation and just deal with facts. As regards cup successes, congratulations go to Alnwick Town for seeing off Burradon & New Fordley in the George Dobbins Cup and to Newcastle University A who recreated a day at the Roman Coliseum in their 7-1 evisceration of North Shields Community Christians in the Northumberland FA Minor Cup.

Looking at the divisions outside the top flight, I was delighted to see my old pal Mark Bullock continue his sterling renaissance of the fortunes of Hazlerigg Victory FC in Division 3. As work continues on the redevelopment of their home ground, they first won the Neville Cowey Cup in remarkable circumstances on May Day Monday morning, turning round a 3-0 half time deficit against Ashington Reserves, winning 4-3 in injury time, before following this up with the divisional title. Their final league game, on Saturday 6^th May, saw then away to long time leaders Benton, at Churchill Playing Fields. Having already been down to Castle Eden, only to find Tynemouth’s NEPL game abandoned without a ball bowled on account of an unsafe bog of an outfield, I was delighted to take in this game, especially when the afternoon came over all sunny and warm.

Hezzy, Benton and Alnwick Town Development, away to fourth placed Amble in a local derby, were separated by a single point and only a single goal before kick-off. The agreement was that no side would tweet developments in case it unduly affected the outcome because of potentially duff information seeping into the public domain. In any case, Hezzy were leaving nothing to chance and were on it like a famished dog with an untrimmed shin bone, from kick off. Benton, of whom I’d heard good things, were blown away by the pace, accuracy and determination of the visitors. It was 3-0 at half time and 6-0 by the final whistle, bolstered by a hideous keeper error and a pair of penalties. It was just what Hezzy deserved. I wish them, Benton and Alnwick, who lost 4-1 at Amble, all the best for next season.

Next up, on the Monday 8^th May Bank Holiday, was the Bill Gardner Cup Final at Percy Main between Division 2 Morpeth FC and Division 3 Wallsend Boys Club Under 23s. The week before, I’d missed seeing Newcastle East End’s thrilling comeback win against West Moor and Jesmond at the same venue in the Combination Cup, so I was determined not to regret missing this one. One a day so wet every other non-league local game was called off for waterlogged pitches, my only regret was not wearing stouter shoes as the heavens opened overnight and kept pouring throughout the following day. This meant a substantial crowd tried to cower under the cover in front of the pavilion. Considering Morpeth’s core support seemed to consist of bulky middle aged, middle class women in long padded coats whining about the lack of parking spaces for their Land Rovers, my executive decision to stand in the falling rain was a sound one. Morpeth’s front two, the sons of Trevor Benjamin and Archie Gourley, in point of fact, were the best players on the park and Wallsend did well to hold them to 1-0 at the break. The further torrential downpour hampered the game as a spectacle in the latter stages, but Morpeth got what they deserved with a late second, despite their twisty fans and moany hangers-on. Trevor Benjamin is a lovely bloke incidentally.

Elsewhere in Division 2, Ponteland United Reserves won the title with much to spare, while Newcastle University A augmented their Minor Cup success with the runners up spot and North Sunderland captured the divisional Amateur Cup. Division 2 was so tight that the final day’s games on Saturday 13th May began with the bottom 8 clubs all in danger of finishing in the last two places. Stick that in your Premier League Survival Sunday pipe and smoke it.

This tight situation was partly brought about by results on Wednesday 10^th May, when I took in Newcastle Chemfica Amateurs 2 Whitley Bay Sporting Club 1, in the company of my pal and fellow keeper Peter Holland, with Newcastle University 2 Blyth Town Under 23s 1 happening in the distance. It wasn’t a great game, but I’ve a strong affection for Chemfica Amateurs and I was delighted they won this, scoring their opener simultaneous to the University scoring on an adjacent pitch. It got to 2-0 at half time and Peter, who does his bit as a keeper coach, decided he’d be better as a daddy coach and put the bairns to bed. Leaving early, he missed Whitley swapping their keeper with an outfield player, sticking him up front and seeing him make it 2-1 about 10 minutes into injury time. Blyth made the score the same in their game with a last second penalty and I reflected how good it is that such facilities are well used by local footballers. The football may be brutal at times, but the game is still beautiful, though I doubt anyone other than me was sat at their kitchen table, nervously refreshing Twitter for other Northern Alliance Division 2 scores that night.

Division 1 sees Stobswood Welfare and West Moor & Jesmond promoted; two former Tyneside Amateur League teams of course and I’m delighted they’ve done so well. With the title already won by Stobby, the two teams met in the final game of season at West Moor, on Wednesday 17 May. Obviously I was there, with Ben and my mate John, over from Ireland for the Newcastle v Brighton game. There wasn’t much at stake, as West Moor played fringe players, a striker in nets and the joint managers up top. Stobby won 3-1. Everyone had a laugh and shook hands when it was over, as the curtain came down on another wonderful campaign in the best league on earth. Thanks to every single player, official, volunteer and supporter of the 32 Alliance clubs I’ve seen this season. You have made an old man very happy on a regular basis.

Incidentally, sunderland didn’t get promoted.