Needlework

 Practical solutions for how to keep infection rates low after COVID-19 restrictions end....

And so, for reasons of commercial greed and not common sense, we will be entering what will have to pass for normality in this benighted, post-Apocalyptic, Brexit-scarred dystopian land on July 19th. Having dispensed with the loathsome, priapic walking pile of corrupt ordure that is Matt Hancock, whose sole concern during all those long months of public service was to exponentially expand the mountain of stolen money that the pandemic had provided him with, that other loathsome, priapic walking pile of corrupt ordure that is Boris Johnson has ceded all authority on matters of medical import to the self-appointed Surgeon General and de facto head of the BMA, that renowned epidemiologist Dr Sajid Javid; a man so fabulously and immorally wealthy he has no discernible urge to further bleed the British public dry, preferring to set out his stall as Lord High Executioner by turning his death amp one louder.

Speaking as someone, double vaccinated and part of a daily lateral flow test scheme at work, who is desperate to attend football games and see live bands again, I should be happy about this; and, in a way, I am. However, despite clear signs that the Coronavirus variants are not so life-threatening to society as a result of the comprehensive vaccination programme thus far, I feel we are being too liberal in our restoration of freedom, especially to those who do not deserve it and who remain the single biggest threat to the existence of humanity on this planet. Just look at the demented looks of visceral sexual arousal on the faces of Stanley Southmoor and Hilda Park while they lewdly paw at Chris Witty’s clothing in a London park. They don’t just need prosecuting; they need to be destroyed. 

I am talking, of course about the danger posed by the tinfoil hat wearing lunatic fringe, who are no longer simply an eccentric bunch of conspiracy theory worshipping cranks. With their blatant refusal to have the vaccine or wear masks in public, these super-spreading headcases are the most powerful weapons of mass infection the virus has at its disposal. Before July 19th, we need to grasp the neetle and effect root and branch reforms to keep this lot off the streets and under lock and key, for as long as it is necessary. If that means the rest of their lives, so be it; after all, they have displayed an utter lack of concern for the wellbeing of the rest of society from the very start of this pandemic.

Ideally, I would like to see the following measures introduced alongside any relaxation of lockdown measures -:

1. All doubly vaccinated citizens to be allowed to live their lives legally, without let or hindrance.

2. Legislation enacted whereby the entire unvaccinated tranche of the population, including under 18s in cohorts delineated by secondary or primary school attendance, are compulsorily double vaccinated at the earliest opportunity.

3. Those who have been single vaccinated by July 18th are allowed to live their lives legally, without let or hindrance, though the wearing of masks for this group is to be compulsory and rigorously enforced, with any deviation from the law, whatever the cause, to result in house arrest until their scheduled, second vaccination.

4. As lists of those who have had one or two vaccinations are easily accessible by the NHS and other authorities, all those who have hitherto not embraced the offer of vaccines for their appropriate age groups can be identified. Those who can be persuaded of the need to be vaccinated will be rapidly inoculated and then allowed to live their lives as per the rules relating to all others singly vaccinated, as described in point 3. Masks of course, will be compulsory.

5. All unvaccinated, even those with medical exemptions, will not be allowed outside after July 19th. Those who refuse to adhere to rules about masking and single vaccination restrictions, have the choice of either electronic tagging to enable limited access to the outside world or compulsory house arrest. Any further transgressions will result in their being detained in rural prison camps for as long as is deemed necessary. 

6. Those who refuse to be vaccinated will be immediately stripped of the rights to benefits or NHS treatment. If they are employed in the public sector, they will be dismissed without notice or compensation. They will be forcibly electronically tagged until such time as they comply with the law and accept vaccination. If, after 30 days, they do not comply, they will be compulsorily transported to rural prison camps and all of their assets, property and possessions confiscated. They will only be allowed to leave once they have been doubly vaccinated.

If you’ve read my proposals and are thinking that these measures are a trifle draconian, then I’d agree with you. However, desperate times need desperate measures and madmen like Piers Corbyn and David Broadmoor need to be emasculated before their terrifying, genocidal ideology is allowed to breed. We must put the greater good before the so-called human rights of a bunch of anti vaxxer nutters.