Socially, I was well out of my depth last Saturday night. I
found myself in “As You Like It,”
mixing with the quality at Rob & Lou’s Wedding Reception, where I was
afforded the opportunity of lashing out £3.75 a pint on black porter. Now, when
two indie kids are joined together in wedlock, the nuptial disco is always a
great event; they had their first dance to “This
Charming Man,” then everyone piled on the dance floor to “Teenage Kicks,” “April Skies,” “What You Do
To Me,” “My Favourite Dress,” “Mr Pharmacist” and the rest. I had a bloody
great time, dancing the night away for the second time in a fortnight, rather
than attending Northern Soul dos in a yellow polo shirt and snapping the jivers
from the comfort of the shadows. Sunday morning I woke up with a predictably
sore meniscus, but not the tell tale pocket full of shrapnel and slingy that
tells of regular bar visits and the inability of the drunkard to count coins. The thing about “As You Like It” was, none of the guests were paying for their
peeve with cash, as presumably it isn’t the done thing among the wealthy curled
darlings of our nation; it was all contactless Wifi debit card purchases, where
the asymmetrically coiffured bar staff wave some little chip and pin thingy in
front of the till and twenty quid disappears out your account as another tall
glass of Absolut and cranberry slides down your throat. How different it
all is to the home life of our own dear Northern League.
Friday evening’s mini snowstorm put paid to all the Alliance
games and, ignoring the opportunity of watching Benfield, now ironically
managed by NE25’s most unapologetic Mackem Tony Woodhouse, win impressively 3-0
away to sunderland RCA, the only fun in town was to be had at Hillheads for
Whitley Bay v Newton Aycliffe, where good football and great company is always
assured. Sure enough, the Seahorses eased to a 3-1 win without waking up never
mind breaking sweat. Perhaps the most noteworthy thing about the day was the
first ever Whitley Bay Beer Festival, in a marquee behind the stand; £10 in
with a souvenir glass and tokens for your first 3 drinks, a choice of 40 beers
and a hog roast. If I hadn’t been at Rob & Lou’s Do later on, I’d have been
face down on the terracing by sundown.
On afternoon’s like that, when the game’s enjoyable and the
banter’s brilliant, non-league football is possibly the best thing on this
planet and it can be so very easy to assume there are no shadows looming over
the sport. I’m not talking about manufactured outrage at the South Tyneside
Tourette’s Corridor between Hebburn Town (have a look at the club statement
here http://www.hebburntownfc.co.uk/2012/10/31/club-statement/)
and Jarrow Roofing. I’m not even talking
about righteous irritation at West Auckland’s potentially hazardous decision to
rack up the entrance fee for the visit of Darlington to a tenner, when the obvious
danger is the thick end of a thousand pissed and radgey Quakers (not often you
see that phrase) bowling up at half time, as it is free to watch NL football
after the break. I’m talking about statements such as the following from
Northern League Chair Mike Amos in his daily blog on the official league
website, when talking about attending Thornaby’s excellent efforts to highlight
the sadly compromised Kick Racism out of Football campaign
by inviting all local primary schools to last Saturday’s game -:
Though these occasions
are important, the Ebac Northern League appears not to have a racism problem.
I’m not sure whether a comment like this is deliberate
misinformation, whereby if such a message is repeated often enough then it’ll
be accepted as the truth, when it palpably isn’t, or whether it is a genuine
example of being completely oblivious to the unacceptable reality of the whole
situation. Whatever the case, Mike Amos ought to have spent a few minutes at
Tuesday night’s Whickham v Dunston Durham Challenge Cup game, where a truly
gratifying 288 turned up to see the visitors win 2-0, talking with Dez Lartey,
the uncle of Whickham’s winger Jordan Lartey. You may remember I blogged about
Dez and his sister Hayley’s fruitless and frustrating attempts to get justice
or even satisfaction from the North Yorkshire FA and the Northern League when
Jordan was racially abused by a Guisborough player (http://payaso-del-mierda.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/gravitys-rainbow.html).
At every turn indifference, obfuscation and institutional racism hampered all
efforts to see justice served. If you wonder just why I write, almost every
week, about the problems of racism in the game, Jordan’s case, as much as John
Terry’s, shows that the core of the game is infected by prejudice and inaction
that mean young, talented players like Jordan are in danger of drifting away
from the game and that is an appalling injustice. If Dez and Jordan are feeling
that frustration in the Northern League, is it any wonder talk of a Black
Players’ Union is gathering pace; quotations such as the one by Mike Amos, as
well as the FA’s pitiful inaction show that black fans and players have been
completely let down. The situation is becoming critical; strident anti-racist
action is required and it is required imminently.
In contrast to the problems with racism in the Northern
League, the situation at Newcastle United this week is almost calm, though
obviously still worthy of comment. The situation on Wearyside gets funnier by
the game; not content with managing the grand total of 12 shots (on and off
target mind you) in 8 games, nor with producing the epitome of Match
of the Day’s last game in their atrocious 0-0 at the Britannia, where
they were accused by Potters fans of out
Stoking Stoke, they bow out of the League Cup, losing 1-0 at home to lower
division Middlesbrough. Meanwhile the fans of the caring club have started to
question whether O’Neill deserves to still be in a job, as his current record stands
at 1 win in 16 games; his mendacious post-match comments, poor quality squad,
dinosaur tactics and non-existent Plan B are being found out. Still, never
mind; Lee Savile, to the chagrin of every parked car on Stowell Street, has
been given a 4 year contract and will apparently play for England in the
future, according to Mr Paradoxically O’Neill; though at what sport has not
been made clear. While the name of Harry Redknapp is gathering ground as the
new fans’ favourite among the unwashed, I fully expect Steve Brewse to be back
in charge before Christmas...
Returning to our own dear club, the Bruges game was another
comfortable Europa League amble; nice to see so many of their fans turn up and
sing the sort of banal ditties we’re used to from the likes of Villa, Norwich
and other non entities. It proves Sky Sports are reaching deep in to
Flanders, judging by word perfect rendition of Shall We Sing A Song for You? that was coming out of Level 7 last
week; sadly when I leaped to my feet to regale them with La Brabanconne, no-one
joined in. I decided there and then that the Milburn Paddock at the Leazes End
is the sleeping section for cup games; other than me, it was populated by
students on cheap tickets, videoing proceedings on their I-phone. Frankly, I
was knackered and in a grouchy mood after a long day at work; in some ways I
wish I’d stopped home and watched it from the sofa, or at least a part of the
ground where there was some kind of buzz. While I wouldn’t like to be among the
shoe-waving Poznarnia in the Strawberry Corner giving Lee Savile abuse all
game, I would prefer a bit of atmosphere on a Thursday night; that’s why I’m in
the East Stand for the Maritimo game. I must remember to fill a flask for that
one.
The West Brom game didn’t have a great deal of atmosphere to
commend it either, it has to be said, though it did end in the best possible
way; a totally undeserved fluke deep in to injury time that game us the win we
did not merit. Don’t get me wrong, it was a good game, of two halves; we
controlled the first and they did the second. Indeed, if they hadn’t declared
after 83 minutes, we could well have lost, but a final effort saw Cisse get off
the mark in the league with a simply crazy goal. You have to feel sorry for The
Baggies, who have been turned in to a very effective side by Malcolm Merton
lookalike Steve Clarke; a man I felt we ought to have trained as Sir Bobby
Robson’s successor.
Post-match, comment has focussed on a couple of supposed
problems in the squad; firstly, Demba Ba’s perceived refusal to play on the
left of a front three. In the complete absence of any corroborating quotations,
I regard this as internet mischief making that borders on hysteria. The bad
news is that after two shambolic starts in a row for Shola, he’ll no doubt keep
the shirt against Liverpool, with Cisse as partner, as Ba is a major doubt with
a shin problem. The other squad problem is a few loons on Twitter having a pop at
Jonas; the fact he is as hard working as Ben Arfa and has shown superb
commitment to the club, especially since relegation is of no matter to these
clowns, who are annoyed he isn’t more like Messi. You may as well wish for him
to be more like Lady Gaga; it simply isn’t going to happen. Jonas is a superb
player and a great asset; we should be thankful for, not critical of, his
efforts.
If there is anything we shouldn’t really bother talking
about, it is the Willy Wonga St. James Celebration stunt on Sunday,
co-ordinated by Graham Cansdale of the Mike Ashley Out Campaign. Graham is
a good bloke, but he is also an absolutist; he will not set foot back inside
St. James’ Park until Ashley has left the club. I know others have adopted a
similar stance in the past, but Graham is unwavering; he will not be influenced
by a day’s work experience at Darsley Park, for instance. On Sunday morning,
Graham invited me to the black Bull for 1pm for a fairly low-key gathering,
which ended in a march to where the coffin was laid in February before the
Wolves game. This time Steve Wraith, busy at the Number 9 Bar, wasn’t the man
of the cloth and Graham, dressed as Willy Wonga, leaped out of the coffin and
sang a rewritten version of the Pure Imagination song, before
delivery a parody of the “Golden Ticket” speech. The whole thing was light-hearted
and inoffensive; their press release stated their aims as follows -:
Today’s resurrection ceremony was meant as a cautionary celebration and
not as a protest. The return of St. James’ Park is very welcome and we hope it
will be recognised as permanent and not something to be traded as part of
corporate negotiations. Today’s street theatre was sponsored by several moral
and ethically sound supporters’ groups and local businesses.
Aside from my personal allergy to the phrase “moral and
ethically sound,” I simply can’t understand why there were the usual visceral,
on-line responses to this. Certainly, I don’t know anyone who agreed with the
renaming of the ground in the first place, so quite why people were getting hot
under the collar about the renaming of the ground is beyond me. Of course the
original coffin protest back in February also drew criticism, presumably from
those who’d not thought of the idea themselves. Similarly on Sunday, the plane
flying overhead with the Wonga banner could and should have
been the target for far more abuse than it was; however, the almost
unintelligibly small script on the banner meant it had little or no impact on
the crowd walking up to the game. On Sunday itself and in the days afterwards,
the plane has attracted little if any comment, whilst Graham’s stunt has garnered
a great deal.
On Twitter I asked for quotable
comments about the coffin celebration and received the following responses,
that were either hostile or indifferent -:
@PayasoDeMierda it was an embarrassment to NUFC fans. Just gives Mackems & other football fans more ammo to
take the piss. We've had more than our fair share of limelight #wrong
@PayasoDeMierda The original stunt was embarrassing,
especially the choice of song played. They could have thought of an original
one y'day.
@tt9m @PayasoDeMierda Not sure it could be called imitation as
both were originated by the same group. (ie MAOC)
@PayasoDeMierda Just some attention seeking lads dicking
about for the cameras. I don't see them as representative of anything, so.therefore I don't have any problem with them! They weren't
harming anyone after all.
@PayasoDeMierda It strikes me as a promotional stunt by
Wonga themselves to coincide with the plane, exploiting naive fans. Sad.
@PayasoDeMierda I missed it by a mere 10 minutes and
felt completely indifferent that I did so.
The comments above are the entire, unexpurgated texts of the
responses I received; it’s interesting how annoyed people were. Personally I’m
with Paul McIntosh on this one; it did no harm. However, I have to say I wonder
just what kind of negative publicity any future developments around the ground
may garner from those who seek to discredit some of the most selfless, tireless
supporters of this club. Well, let’s watch this space.
Perhaps, inevitably, we must return to the subject of racism
in football; I make no apology for that. Post Baggies victory, we headed for The
Bodega as usual, taking in the astonishing second half of Chelsea
against Manchester United. The game itself was crazy enough; five goals, 2 red
cards, a brawl on the touchline and a steward knocked out by a missile. Even
worse has been the fall-out from the game; Mark Clattenburg is a Newcastle
United fan and so I’ve never seen him officiate in one of our games. All I
really know about him is a series of rash and disastrous business deals left
his position as a match official untenable 3 years back and so he was forced to
take gardening leave. I know nothing else about the man, other than he has now
been accused of using “racial” language by Chelsea FC, and this complaint is
being investigated by both the Metropolitan Police and the Premier league. I’m
not being funny here; but what exactly is “racial” language? The phrase to me,
suggests a type of language particular to one race; I’m sure that’s not what
Chelsea mean. I am presuming they are accusing Clattenburg of some form of
discriminatory utterance, which if he’s guilty of, he’ll not wriggle out of, as
the other officials can hear every utterance a referee says through their
microphone and ear piece set-up. Presumably if he’s found guilty, Chelsea will
have no option but to make him captain. Or will we be treated to the sickening
sound of Chelsea fans singing Mark Clattenburg; we know what you are,
as they did to Anton Ferdinand?
In all seriousness, I very much doubt he will be able to
continue as a top level referee if he is found guilty which, without prejudging
the results of these inquiries, is very much as it should be. However, if he’s
sacked because of a complaint by Chelsea, then the hypocrisy of that club and
the FA in relation to the spectral ogre of the John Terry case becomes even
more deplorable. If Clattenburg is booted out the game, then so should Terry
be, regardless of the fact a year has passed since he spoke those vile words to
Ferdinand.
Just for once, I’d love a week to go by when I didn’t have
to return to the theme of racism, but I won’t hold my breath. One final
sobering thought is the news Serbian authorities are issuing charges against 2
English Under 21 footballers, Steven Caulker and Tom Lees, as they apparently “committed an act of violence during a sports
event". Judging by how corrupt the Serbian FA has shown itself, I’m
just amazed one of them isn’t Danny Rose, for standing up to the racist abuse
he endured. However, no doubt the Serbian FA and the Premier League will agree
with Mike Amos when he comments on the efforts of clubs attempting to fight
against prejudice and intolerance in the game that -:
Though these occasions
are important, the Ebac Northern League appears not to have a racism problem.
No comments:
Post a Comment