It’s hard work this groundhopping lark, you do realise. Once you’ve factored in a 24-week cricket season, including the usual 8 abandonments for the weather, and 30 Northern Alliance games for Percy Main Amateurs (no floodlights meaning midweek games only possible in August, April and May), there aren’t a huge number of spare Saturdays left to go round. However, if you’re approaching 60 years of age and are determined to do the full 42 Scottish set, then a bit of thought and some proper planning is required so you can make inroads into the obscure and, as yet, unvisited Caledonian wastelands.
Following
trips to: Bonnyrigg Rose, Dundee, East Fife and Kelty Hearts, I had managed to
tick off 30 SPFL grounds by the start of 2024/2025 season. Of the dozen
remaining, only one is in the West, the almost inaccessible outlier of
Stranraer. As a non-driver from Newcastle, the only hope I’ve got for visiting
Stair Park is Keir Starmer’s investment policy for the railways to include the
reopening of the Carlisle to Stranraer line that Dr Beeching axed the year
after I was born. Looking to the East and North, the remaining 11 targets split
nicely into those than can be done in a day (Arbroath, Dundee United, Forfar, Montrose
and St Johnstone) that are in the Tayside and Angus region, and the half dozen
up in the Highlands that require an overnight stay (Aberdeen, Cove Rangers,
Elgin City, Inverness Caledonian Thistle, Peterhead and Ross County).
Unexpectedly, circumstances presented me with a spare Saturday in mid-July
(Tynemouth CC 3s being without a game and Percy Main opting to train rather
than search for friendly opposition), thus the Scottish League Cup group stages
offered me and my pal Big Gary a chance to take the High Road.
Having checked the fixtures, Arbroath v Annan Athletic stood out, because I’d heard so many good things about the ground, as well as the fact the train times were favourable. Both Dundee United and Forfar were also at home, but a 5.15 kick off at Tannadice ruled that one out, as did the thought of a bus trip from Dundee to Forfar’s anachronistically named Station Park (curse you Dr Beeching!!), so Gayfield Park, site of Arbroath’s famous 36-0 win over Bon Accord in 1885, it had to be.
We left Newcastle at about 9.45 on a pretty packed train; the usual day tripping bevvy merchants and glamorous grannies mainlining Prosecco were augmented by a sizeable number of Man United and Rangers replica shirt clad Christmas Trees, prised from their sofas because of the number of tickets available for a pre-season “friendly,” if there could be such a thing between those clubs, taking place at Murrayfield (capacity 67,144). The second train, from Edinburgh heading north was considerably less populated, though Scot Rail’s abridged summer timetable probably accounted for more bums on less seats. It was a pretty journey up, across the firths of Forth and Tay, through the Kingdom of Fife, past Raith Rovers ground, close to Broughty Ferry where Scotland were playing Namibia in a 50-over game (they won by 6 wickets), up past Carnoustie and into Arbroath by 12.58, where the smell of the sea is refreshingly overpowering from the moment you step on the platform.
We
were in the West Port Hotel by 12.59 and out again by ten past, returning to
collect my forgotten phone almost immediately afterwards. It seemed a decent,
well-presented semi trendy spot that advertised its support for the Red
Lichties, though the most interesting thing about the place was the
hair-raising array of sex toys available from a vending machine in the bogs. No,
I didn’t sample the wares. I stuck to the beer. As is the case in such off the
beaten track locations, there’s no point in trying to sample an elite range of
craft ales; Scotland drinks Tennent’s and on a warm, cloudy Saturday
afternoon in July you have to go with the flow. Especially if you’ve not had a
beer all week.
Arbroath’s main drag is a gently sloping, slightly curved and not unpleasant high street, boasting an artisanal cheese shop and several takeaways, which were all closed, denying us the chance to sample the local delicacy of a smokie. Still, we had been advised as to the quality of the pies at the ground, so we stuck to a liquid diet. Second pub, The Anchor, saw Gary (just turned 55) as the youngest customer in there. Quite why the jukebox was blaring out Whigfield’s Saturday Night (at 1.15 in the afternoon) loud enough for it to be a Swans or Rammstein tribute band, is beyond me. As was the fact every pub, and I mean every pub, we went into played Creedence Clearwater Revival; Proud Mary, Bad Moon Rising and Have You Ever Seen the Rain? all got outings as we kept on chooglin’ pints into us.
Historically, Arbroath is most famous for the 1320 Declaration of Arbroath, which was a two fingered salute to English hegemony. That all seems rather sad after the evisceration of the SNP in the recent election that effectively means calls for a chicken in every pot and a stolen motor home on every drive have been silenced forever, even if the locals did return an SNP representative to Westminster on July 4th. Then again, if the habitues of Bar 1320 are representative of the local electorate, you wonder if universal suffrage is a good idea. The barmaid, who had confidently announced that Annan was “just outside Glasgow,” was attempting to teach a bladdered bon vivant in a Celtic shirt, how to play dominoes. It was a concept too challenging for his cerebral cortex, to say the least. Quite a few old soaks in The Anchor were clearly heading to the game and several more, including the Annan contingent of whacky English HMHB style fans, in Bar 1320 looked likely to be heading there as well. In fact, I saw 3 of the local Man at C&A summer casuals leaving the ground at half time…
Before
then, we hit our final pre match refreshment stop, The Foundry Bar. I’ve heard
legend that this is a popular pit stop for busloads of Aberdeen fans en route
to Dundee United, mainly so they can blast out that old Billy Fury classic, Halfway
to Tannadice. Makes a change from Born on the Bayou or Run
Through the Jungle I suppose. Anyway, the barmaid clocked our accents, said
how much she liked Newcastle and gave us happy hour double Black Bottles
to go with the compulsory Tennent’s. By now it was 2.45 and I needed a
sleep more than more beer, so we went to the ground.
The entrance was 100 yards away and I found myself immediately behind SPFL Chief Executive Neil Doncaster in the queue to get in. He’s not as tall as you’d think and of course I said hello, but I spent more energy on savouring the exquisite steak and black pudding pie than on any chat with him. Divine moist chunks of meat in a thick, peppery gravy with a storming base layer of viscous, gritty black pudding. I could have had half a dozen but restricted myself to one.
Gayfield Park in a brilliant ground. You come in on the same side as the Main Stand, that covers about half of one touchline. Either end sees uncovered terracing give way to a covered shed, which home fans migrate from end to the other at half time. The far side is a covered shed, with uncovered terracing, that must be about 50 feet from the North Sea. Next stop; Norway. The beachside path has more camper vans parked on it than Dunfermline cop shop after a Polis visit to Peter Murrell’s mother. Seriously, this place is up there with all my favourite ramshackle old Scottish grounds. The only bad part about the day was the game, as the home side turned in a performance as woeful as any I’ve seen in the last few seasons.
Gary and I had seen Annan, big, strong and predominantly Cumbrian or even Lancastrian going by the players’ accents, steal a draw in a dismal 1-1 at Kelty back in January, but from the very start, there was only going to be one winner. Annan have improved rapidly, and Arbroath look in danger of a second successive tumble, if this is to be indicative of Scottish League 1 in the coming 9 months. In the Scottish League Cup, the 5 European qualifiers are exempted until the first knockout round (of 16), which the remaining 37 teams are split into 8 groups of 5, with Brechin City, Buckie Thistle, East Kilbride from the non-league ranks. The 8 group winners and 3 best runners-up get the chance to have their arses handed to them by Celtic’s reserves at a half full Parkhead as a reward. Arbroath, recently relegated from the Scottish Championship to League 1, had begun their campaign in fine style, with a 2-0 home loss to Dundee, while Annan had seen off Big Dunc’s Inverness CT 1-0 at home before drawing 1-1 with Bonnyrigg. In such circumstances, there is a penalty shoot out and the winners take 2 points and Annan had done just that.
We
had our fingers crossed that there would be no penalty shoot-out to delay us,
though we needn’t have worried as I don’t believe Arbroath tested the Annan
keeper all game. The opener came on the half hour, when towering Tommy Goss
planted an unstoppable header in the Arbroath net. Worse was to come when the
home side’s Scott Stewart saw red on 42 minutes for a horrible, over the top,
ankle breaker. Arbroath never recovered and Josh Dixon sealed the win with an
explosive effort from 20 yards. We called it a day as the haar from the sea was
turning to rain, just missing the final goal when Josh Todd waltzed through a
static home defence deep into injury time. You can watch it on YouTube.
We did on our phones, after buying a carry out for the train and grabbing a
last pint in The Station Bar, which boasted some forthcoming entertainment;
“indie classics tonight from star vocalist Iain Brown.” Presumably backed by
The Stonehaven Roses…
Anyway, many cans of G&T later, punctuated by a pit stop in Edinburgh’s best pub The Guildford in something of a monsoon, I was poured out of a taxi around 10.30 and guided quickly to bed. What a brilliant day. I’d even bought a 4 pack of Tennent’s and an Arbroath fridge magnet for Shelley, as I’m all heart. So, what happens next? Well, the cricket season ends on September 21st, but there’s engineering works on the Newcastle to Edinburgh section around then, so it looks as if October 26th is my next feasible date for a day out, with Montrose versus Cove Rangers my intended location. Travelling by train isn’t cheap, but the fact I can avail myself of an Over 60s railcard from August 11th onwards does sweeten the pill somewhat.
Really enjoyable
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