Short Legged Trouser Press

 Cricket is back.....

A year ago, the first lockdown saw us all basking in our living rooms, prevented from enjoying the sweltering great outdoors, where nothing was happening anyway. Weekend after weekend saw glorious sunshine, accompanied by neither cricket nor pints, though at least we eventually had some sort of a season to enjoy, even if the August Bank Holiday was the coldest in 50 years. I suppose such dismal weather prepared us adequately for the privations of the early 2021 season which has been clay cold so far; rather what you’d expect of England in April I suppose.

Despite the temperatures, it is truly marvellous to be back, especially as I’ve now taken over the mantle of Tynemouth Press Secretary from the retiring Don Catley. I say retiring; he’s played all 3 Saturdays for Whitley Bay 2s, taking wickets on each occasion, which isn’t bad for 75 you know. Writing in an official capacity does hasve some responsibilities. For instance, it meant I couldn’t say that Burnmoor are as sporting as Don Revie’s Leeds or that the best thing about the minute’s silence for Phil the Greek on the opening weekend was that it shut Richy Hay up for the first time all afternoon. Although I could still think these things, until my focus shifted when I finally conquered the baffling Covid drinks rules and allowed beer to win out. Pausing only to say how great it was to see friends on and off the pitch, I realise I’m no Neville Cardus when it comes to match reports, but what follows, in italics, are my first 3 efforts at summing up proceedings, with an occasional interpolation about my other cricketing adventures thrown in.

The 2021 season began in earnest for Tynemouth Cricket Club on Saturday 17^th April, when three of the five sides the club are running this year undertook competitive league action, as the Academy Sunday side and Midweek Social XI do not start their fixtures until the end of the month. An under strength first XI hosted 2020 North East Premier League champions Burnmoor in a 50-over league fixture, with two debutants in their ranks. Club professional, Pakistani batsman and medium pacer Muhammad Saad, who has fulfilled the same role at various postings in Yorkshire and Scotland over the previous 6 seasons, was joined by in the team by new bowling recruit Isaac Murray.

For this year, in an experimental tinkering with the established format, each team in the NEPL will play their 11 divisional opponents in a 50-over win/lose game and a win/lose/draw 110-over contest. On Saturday, Tynemouth came agonisingly close to pulling off what had seemed an unlikely win earlier in the afternoon, posting 206/7 in response to Burnmoor’s 209 all out from 49.3 overs. Fresh from his endeavours at St James’ Park earlier in the afternoon, where Newcastle had claimed 3 points from a topsy-turvy encounter with West Ham, TCC stalwart Sean Longstaff was witness to another thrilling encounter, though not with as positive an outcome this time around.

Having won the toss and elected to field, skipper Matthew Brown may well have been rueing his decision as the visitors’ Ryan Pringle made his way to an untroubled century, featuring 11 boundaries and three 6s, as Burnmoor were ominously poised to make a mammoth total, at 183/5 with 10 overs to go. However, kudos to the home bowlers for wresting control of the game’s destiny away from the visitors. Saad claimed 3/35 from his 10 overs and spinner David Mansfield produced an economical and controlled spell of 2/23. Remarkably, the final 5 overs produced only 6 runs, leaving Tynemouth with a challenging, but by no means impossible, target of 210 to claim victory.

To be in with a chance, Tynemouth needed a solid start, which is precisely what Ben Debnam, who top scored with a combative 54, and Barry Stewart, providing able support with 31, managed to do by amassing 78 runs before Stewart was stumped. Saad contributed 20, as a cameo of what he will be capable of in the future. The Central Punjab man’s dismissal saw a mini collapse, before skipper Brown, assisted by Andrew Smith, contributed 42 and 31 respectively, in even time. Brown’s dismissal with 20 required in the penultimate over meant the final total was just too exacting for Tynemouth, but the harvesting of maximum batting and bowling points from a losing position, is something to take comfort from.

Meanwhile, the Second XI travelled to Ashbrooke, to take on Sunderland.  On a seaming pitch that always made batting difficult, Niall Piper and Dan Thorburn mirrored the start enjoyed by the First XI, and put on 78 for the opening wicket, posting the top scores of the innings with 42 and 39 respectively. Skipper Andrew Davison made 24 and Chris Beevers went one better, leaving Tynemouth 189/8 before an unbroken ninth wicket partnership by the elegant James Carr (33*) and Adam Williams (31*) resulted in an imposing total of 258/8. In response, the home side never really got going in the face of accurate Tynemouth bowling, for whom Neil Bennett produced an outstanding 3/18, while Sam Robson’s 3/45 and 2/31 by the elegant Carr were crucial to the victory. Praise also must be given to Niall Piper, who followed up his strong showing with the bat by claiming 4 catches and a stumping, as Sunderland subsided to 188 and a maximum point 70 run win for Tynemouth.

Finally, Tynemouth 3^rd XI hosted Consett 2^nd XI in a Northumberland and Tyneside Cricket League Division 5 South fixture, winning by 6 wickets. The visitors batted first and compiled 173/6 from their 40 overs. There were notable bowling performances from youngsters Evan Hull Denham and Hamish Swaddle Scott, who each claimed 3 wickets. Swaddle Scott was also in great form with the bat, scoring 63 after opener Josh Koen claimed a diamond duck, out to the very first ball of the season. Luckily, fellow opener Dan Storey showed how it is done, with an elegant, unbeaten 70 as Tynemouth got home with several overs to spare.

The second weekend of the season saw a clean sweep of impressive victories by all 3 Tynemouth Saturday teams. Indeed, wins by 91 runs, 6 wickets with 16 overs to spare and 82 runs should surely be better described as on the crushing side of emphatic. Sadly that is also an appropriate adjective to describe the Academy side’s loss to Newcastle on Sunday.

Last week Tynemouth 1s had suffered an unfortunate 3 run loss to Burnmoor, but the result against Felling, themselves coming off the back of a comprehensive victory away to divisional newcomers Washington, was rarely in doubt after the home side posted a prodigious 271/9 from their 50 overs. What was particularly encouraging about such an impressive total was the way so many batsmen chipped in with valuable runs. Back in the side after being injured last week, Ben McGee contributed 31 to an opening stand of 75 with Ben Debnam, who made 47 before being caught at slip. Durham CC player Mike Jones contributed an effortless 30 before surprisingly chipping an easy catch. Young Joe Snowden is only 17, but his contribution of the same number of runs as his age was an attractive cameo, comprised of fine attacking shots. Skipper Matty Brown played a typically aggressive innings, also making a pugnacious 47. His departure left the game delicately poised; at 206/8, Tynemouth had secured full batting points, but the question whether that would be enough on a superb wicket was a delicate one. Felling’s Alastair Appleby had produced a lovely spell of slow bowling, returning figure of 3/25, but once he was gone, Tynemouth’s David Mansfield and Owen Gourley made rapid progress against the quicker bowlers. Mansfield top scored with 55, before he missed the only straight one Abdul Ameer bowled all day, while Gourley finished on an unbeaten 21, as the total reached 271.

Felling knew they needed a good start in order to threaten the total, but soon found themselves 34/3 as Gourley, Andrew Smith and Muhammad Saad each claimed a victim. Following this early collapse, Sean Dickson and Alan Mustard steadied the ship, taking the score to 94 before Dan McGee had Mustard caught by Smith. Josh Koen chipped in by having Hurst caught behind; one of 4 catches by skipper Brown. After progressing from 99/5 to 132 without further mishap, Felling suffered another collapse, capitulating to 138/9 with Saad, Smith and Dan McGee all claiming scalps. At the end, the crowd were treated to a display of eccentric hitting by Ameer and the ever popular Anthony Trotter, who proved to be more of a threat with bat than ball, finishing with 25 and 16* respectively. Interestingly, when Amir was clean bowled by Dan McGee, he was the only batsmen in the Felling innings not to be caught on a day when every player contributed, and everything went right for the home team.

Tynemouth 2s were away to Newcastle at Jesmond. Having won the toss, Newcastle opted to bat, but sound found themselves up against a magnificent spell by Neil Bennett, who returned the impressive figures of 4/27. Skipper Andrew Davison is often highly deprecating of his bowling, but his 2/21 was crucial in restricting Newcastle to 176. All the bowlers claimed at least one wicket and only the normally so elegant James Carr proved to be expensive, going for 4 an over. The Tynemouth innings was dominated by an unbeaten 69 by Barry Stewart, as well as a fine 47 by wicket keeper and opener Niall Piper. Patrick Hallam chipped in with a tenacious 21 from 68 balls, as others opted to play the attacking role. So successful were Tynemouth in compiling runs, the required total was reached from only 33.4 overs.

No less emphatic was the manner of victory for Tynemouth 3s over Greenside. Batting first, they knocked up an impressive 231/7 in their 40 overs, with the main source of runs being a blistering all-out assault on the Greenside bowling by Rachid “The Power” Hussain, ably supported by Hamish Swaddle-Scott with 19. Swaddle-Scott also proved his worth with the ball, claiming 3 victims, while Evan Hull-Denholm again looked impressive, taking 2. Fittingly, the final victim was claimed by Hussain as Greenside were dismissed for 149, giving Tynemouth a victory by 82 runs.

The Academy came up short at Jesmond against Newcastle where, having won the toss and decided to bat, they were skittled for 114 and lost by 9 wickets. Of course, it’s early in the season and there’s no need to be discouraged by one result.

My itchy feet meant I was determined to complete a full set of NEPL grounds, with only Sundays to rely on. Last year I visited Crook, Lanchester, Willington and Philadelphia for the first time, so this time around; it had to be the remaining pair of Castle Eden and Shotley Bridge that I ticked off. Doing these hikes by public transport, I knew that it would be a trek, but one worth making.  Leaving at 11.00, I caught the Metro to Haymarket and the X10 bus from opposite The Gate. This service no longer serves Eldon Square, as the mega new rolling stock is too large for the bays. Magnificent planning eh? Anyway, I took my leave on the slip road south, leaving Peterlee and hiked it down a pretty country path at the side of the A19 that meandered through Old Shotton and on towards Castle Eden which, now the brewery is long gone, seems to be a one street village without pubs, shops or pretty much any sign of life apart from the vulgar materialists and their big cars at the local golf club.

However, a sign at the Cenotaph set me off on a single track lane that ambled slightly downhill to a picturesque village green ground sat in a hollow, fringed by trees and fields. Another beautiful rural cricket ground, though not in bucolic Northumberland, but prosaic Durham where the semi-ubiquitous concrete boundary slabs of the once Miners’ Welfare grounds hold sway from the Coast to the Upper Pennines. There was a tinge of petty bourgeois aspirationalism that may not be the case at many neighbouring clubs and settlements, but that may just be my typically grumpy reaction to the most annoying dog of the season; a nervous, aggressive Black Labrador that barked as incessantly as Burnmoor appeal.

 

I had my escape to wander away from this cursed canine, as the wicket was so far in one corner, the square leg umpire was standing on the rope. For this NEPL Sunday Southern Group B clash, the home side, who were a mixture of the usual lads and grandads, had chosen to bat first. Their opponents were a youthful, though not callow, Philadelphia, who restricted Castle Eden to a modest 99/7 from 35 overs. The visitors knocked this off for the loss of 2 wickets in only 17 overs and, round of applause proffered, I took another walk of a similar 3-mile duration to Blackhall, enjoying the rapidly broadening seaside vista and gentle, undulating path down to the cold North Sea, where it was 10 degrees colder. Fortified by a supposed Starbucks latte from the local Co-Op, I took a bus to Peterlee and thence the X10 Greyhound to Newcastle and the Metro to Tynemouth. It was a good day out and I felt sad for Castle Eden, who had toiled in vain, harvesting zero points for their endeavours.

Having completed my NEPL set, there is ample opportunity to tick off a few more locations in the NTCL, though not watching Tynemouth 3s as you may have imagined, as my press duties mean it’s the 1s all season for me. There will be opportunities to visit new places on Thursday evenings. In the kind of merger Poland had with Germany in 1939, the Bad Boys have dissolved into Tynemouth’s Midweek Social XI. I’m only joking; it’s actually far more like Austria’s Anschluss with Germany in 1938. We now complete in the NTCL Midweek Third Division, which will see us face: Ashington Rugby, Monkseaton, Newcastle City, Percy Main, Ponteland, Riding Mill and Seaton Burn, with Benwell and Walbottle away in the Ian Appleby Cup as our first game. The benefits are: we get to play on the main pitch at TCC, the bar is open afterwards, we have a defined night to play (Thursday) and there’s a proper umpire to stop Strez giving Mitchy out leg before. The negatives? Well, we’re not called the Bad Boys any longer.

After the usual last minute panic about inclement weather and selection issues, we headed off towards Walbottle with 4 cricketers and 7 socialites in the team. Magnificently, Clarky and Scoff landed at Benwell Hill, though obviously if Jimmy Carr had been available we’d have had nothing to fear from Kyle Coetzer. Anyway,  the wanderers returned, Strez won the toss and we batted, eager to maintain a record of 1 successful chase in 4 seasons. It was freezing, so Mitchy brought a bit of South Central LA to the contest by batting in his hoody. We accumulated 126/7, with Sam and Davo getting decent scores and one of their lads a nasty crack on the head, misjudging a catch.

 Personally, I was relieved not to have to bat as the old hand to eye coordination is long gone. Indeed, by the time I came on in the 10^th over, I’d not touched the ball in play, having retrieved it once from a small leylandii beyond the boundary. Most of the afternoon I’d been aware of a psychosomatic shoulder ache that comes on most times I play, as I’m desperate not to show myself up. Thankfully, I didn’t. I got my lifetime best figures of 4-0-16-4. All bowled. That’s really all I can say, as my memory is still in a state of unreality at events. That’s probably how I took a catch off Strez from the final ball, stooping at cover point to grab hold with unsteady palms. We won by 10 runs, but couldn’t have a beer afterwards. I hardly slept all night.

The weekend previous, Tynemouth’s three Saturday sides produced a clean sweep of emphatic victories. Unfortunately, despite some stunning performances with the bat, all three teams found themselves defeated over the Bank Holiday, as it got no better on Sunday, with the Academy going down to a heavy defeat, though the Midweek Social XI did make a winning start to their cup campaign.

Buoyed up by a crushing win over Felling the week before, Tynemouth CC were able to name an unchanged first XI for their trip to Ropery Lane to face the perennially indomitable Chester Le Street, in a thoroughly engaging spectacle that produced over 500 runs, again justifying the NEPL’s decision to play half the season as 50 over contests. Skipper Matty Brown called correctly and inserted the hosts, who made a dogged and calm start, reaching 88 in the 23^rd over before David Mansfield had Jacob McCann smartly caught by Joe Snowdon. An indication of the untroubled nature of Chester’s start can be gauged by the fact Mansfield was the sixth bowler used with less than half the innings gone. Partly, this was an enforced circumstance, as Owen Gourley had to withdraw from the attack, hors de combat with a sore Achilles.

A sharp shower took the players off for 15 minutes; not long enough for any recalculation under the Duckworth Lewis Stern Method to be deemed necessary, but time for a funfair in the adjoining Riverside Park to begin pumping out an incessant diet of cheesy 1980s dance pop that was to be the soundtrack of the game. When play restarted Dan McGee clean bowled Chester’s Andrew Smith to make the score 94/2. Our own Andrew Smith bowled tenaciously, his 10 overs going for a mere 31, while Mansfield held down the other end: slightly expensive but always offering a threat. He had opener George Harrison caught by Ben Debnam for 48 from a delivery that offered something in the way it moved.

This dismissal was a pyrrhic victory for Tynemouth as it brought Quentin Hughes to the wicket and, ably assisted by John Coxon, who chipped in with 32 before becoming McGee’s second victim, he did his best to take the game away from Tynemouth with a pugnacious 89, including two huge sixes. His dismissal was the third wicket claimed by Josh Koen, who stepped up to the mark with Gourley unable to bowl. Some late and lusty blows by Andrew Bell resulted in Chester Le Street posting an impressive 270/7, meaning Tynemouth needed some weighty contributions if they were to challenge such a total.

Unfortunately, the reply got off to the worst possible start, with Ben McGee bowled round his legs without scoring; one of four ducks in the Tynemouth innings. Ben Debnam followed soon after, leaving the innings in a parlous position at 15/2. Thankfully, Michael Jones and Muhammad Saad are both excellent batsmen and, during their impressive 111 partnership, the balance of power seemed to be shifting decisively. Even when Jones was out for 61, clean bowled by Harrison, the Tynemouth reply did not lose impetus as Brown came to the wicket. With less than 100 needed, following a rapid 50 partnership, the prospects of a Tynemouth win were growing, until Saad was given out leg before for an outstanding 83. Despite Brown’s fluent 50, he was running out of both time and partners, though Josh Koen did his best to provide support. Eventually the reply ended at 241 all out, though the 3.4 overs that went unused would have been ample time to get the remaining runs.

In the reverse fixture at Preston Avenue, batsmen were in the ascendancy. Veteran Barry Stewart, already in excellent form this season, contributed an unbeaten 114. He was more than adequately supported by the youthful Dan Thorburn who hit 58 and Patrick Hallam, who made an unbeaten 30 as a seemingly impregnable 242/1 from 50 overs put Tynemouth in the driving seat. Unfortunately for the hosts, Chester Le Street 2s are as tough and determined as the first XI. An unbeaten 84 by Matthew Cranston and a fine 71 by Josh O’Brien brought them a 7-wicket win, with only Isaac Murray and the elegant James Carr claiming victims. Young Hallam sustained a blow to the ribs, but a precautionary x-ray showed no break, thankfully.

Tynemouth 3s had a tough trip to Chopwell to face GEMS 2^nd XI. A strong-looking home side batted first and stormed to 277/4 from their 40 overs, with Syed Hassan Raza’s 124 and Iftikar Naquib’s 95 largely responsible for the mammoth total. In response, Tynemouth posted a fighting 237 all out. The stand-out performances were Chad Koen’s 69, Jazzy Geoff Simpson’s 62 and supporting cameos by Hamish Swaddle-Scott (33) and Rashid Hassan (29), who had earlier taken 2 wickets apiece, but GEMS were just too strong.

On Sunday, Tynemouth Academy’s 76 all out was never going to be enough away to Benwell Hill, though one piece of good news was the Tynemouth Midweek Social XI’s win over Benwell and Walbottle in the Ian Appleby Cup. Solid knocks of 40 by Sam Robson and 34 by Andrew Davison allowed the former Bad Boys to amass 126/7 from 18 overs. The reply, which saw Benwell and Walbottle fall 10 runs short, saw ian cusack claim a lifetime best 4/18.

I hope that doesn’t sound too conceited, as it’s true. It’s also true I’ve been to every current NEPL ground, plus some former ones like South Shields, Stockton and Tudhoe, but that’s a drop in the ocean compared to where I haven’t been. Looking at the NTCL, across 8 divisions there are 50 clubs fielding 88 teams, of which I’ve only visited 19, to get my teeth into. That’s not even counting the West of Tyne, with 23 teams fielded by 18 teams, of which I’ve been to 7 or Durham and North East (36 clubs, 63 teams and 10 graced by my presence) leagues. My rough maths suggests I need to make pilgrimages by public transport to another 68 cricket grounds to complete all sets but, before I go crazy checking out the North Yorkshire and South Durham League, there’s the matter of my final NEPL visit to consider.

Sat on the X45 from outside the Central, it occurred to me the last time I remember taking that bus was during Newcastle’s second 0-3 pummelling by the Mackems. February 2014 I believe and I was on my way to Consett 1 Benfield 1, where I spent a great afternoon in the company of Steve Brown and Neil Farrington. Because of the social media boycott to protest against racism, I didn’t remind the fellas of that event. I also missed another NUFC home game; they lost 2-0 to Arsenal apparently.

Long before that kicked off, I bailed out on Co-Operative Terrace in Shotley Bridge, where I’d seen a helpful sign directing me down a less than totally paved country lane to the Spa Grounds. It may have been the weather, my hangover or the fact my only connection with the place was my maternal grandfather dying of cancer in the former hospital on 13^th October 1967, but I found Shotley Bridge a little uninspiring. It’s tidy and friendly enough; a patch of flat land and a functional pavilion, smiling young barkeeps offering table service drinks (I didn’t indulge), a decent fringe of trees for one boundary and a steep slope down to the Derwent for another.

The home team batted first against a Lanchester outfit with at least 4 grey-haired Grandpas in the ranks. The first wicket saw an almost tearful opener slink away disconsolately after being given leg before. His mood got worse as news of a first Arsenal goal filtered through from those watching on a big screen in the marquee. Obviously Paul Collingwood wasn’t about as there were no shrieks of joy. No Mark Wood either; he was resting up after Durham had hoovered up the final Warwickshire wickets the night before. Shotley scored quickly, while Lanchester bowled slowly in both senses. Innings closed at 150/5, and I was so frozen that I knew I had to leave. Why do I insist on wearing shorts from March to October, regardless of the weather? I shuffled stiff-legged up the hill and caught a returning X46 just as news of the Old Trafford pitch invasion deflected focus from Newcastle’s predictable home loss. The journey home was spent with my nose in a book, before a check of the scores showed a Shotley Bridge win by 20 runs. I’ll come back one sunny day, I promise.

 This coming weekend, the first XI are away to Hetton Lyons (11.30 start), while the 2s host Ashington (12.00) and the 3s entertain Leadgate 2s (13.00). The Academy host Gateshead Fell 3^rd XI on Sunday (13.30), while the Midweek Social XI make the short trip to Monkseaton on Thursday, for a 6pm start. The enjoyment never ends.