Thursday, 11 April 2019

At Action Park

The Tyneside Amateur League is dying, but the Northern Alliance is flying. From Shankhouse to Shellac, we'll keep the TAL flying there.....


Years ago, during another one of those frequent outbreaks of internecine bloodletting you often get between Newcastle United’s directors and the supporters, the then chairman, a jug eared pixie called Gordon McKeague, announced that the legal dynasty of which he was a scion, regarded the club as “the family jewels.” There was a justified uproar at this preposterous patrician’s balderdash and some wise counsellor, though I know not who, made the sagacious point that shareholders and board members are not the moral owners of any football club; they are merely the blessed custodians for a particular period of time, inheriting this duty of care from their predecessors and bequeathing it to their successors. During the Ashley Years, this thought has been enough to maintain my seemingly unfounded optimism as regards the future of NUFC, despite the dismal football served up during the Benitez era.

If the concept of stewardship, whether benevolent or dictatorial, is true of football clubs, it should be equally correct when applied to football leagues. Sadly, in that case, my 5 year tenure as chair of the Tyneside Amateur League can only be seen as an unmitigated disaster, on account of the fact that Tuesday 9th April saw an EGM where the remaining clubs voted overwhelmingly for the dissolution of this proud, august competition at the end of the current season, bringing to an end 70 successive seasons of competitive 11 a side football at the rootsiest of grassroots level, which will have seen 50 different teams crowned champions during that time. We weren’t the only ones at the bottom tier of competitive football struggling to continue; in recent years the Durham Alliance and Wearside Alliance have called it a day, leaving only the Crook and District League at that level under the auspices of the Durham FA. On our side of the river, the sprawling, disparate North Northumberland League still keeps a footballing flame burning in the shadow of Bamburgh Castle and out in the wilds past Hedgeley and on up to Duns, allowing for Border Reiving on a scale not seen since the accession of James VI to the English Crown. There is also the Newcastle Corinthian League; 3 divisions of 8 clubs, supposedly at TAL level, though I’ve never seen a game in that competition, not that I got to see many in ours this year, what with my Benfield commitments and that.

The plain facts are: we began season 2018/2019 with 13 clubs in the TAL. Fairly soon it was clear that a couple of the new teams were in trouble. Firstly Ellington Reserves and then Benfield Reserves threw in the towel, citing the usual issues of a lack of bodies on and off the pitch. At that point, concerns were raised by the management committee as to the viability of the league going forwards, especially as we were not seeing any credible actual or even potential applicants to pick up the slack, bearing in mind we normally expect to see a couple of teams moving upwards to the Northern Alliance at the end of each campaign. Things looked bleak enough with 11 teams, but the news that Wallsend Boys Club were moving their Development Team back to junior age football and that one of our longest-serving sides, Newcastle Medicals, had decided to throw in the towel as they just couldn’t find enough players or any volunteers at all to assist with off pitch matters. Tell us about it; Neville, Paul and I had run the TAL for 40, 10 and 5 years respectively, and every single one of us wanted to quit. It was a thankless task and there were absolutely no willing successors ready to step into our shoes. We tried to find more teams, new volunteers, drum up interest and so on, but it just didn’t happen.

A few years ago, accepted wisdom held that 11 a side leagues were in trouble because potential players preferred the chance to grandstand in relative comfort on a 4G 6-a-side court. That may have been the case, but what I’m seeing now is a whole generation who have chucked playing completely. On Mondays and Wednesdays when I don the gloves up the West Road and at the Lightfoot respectively, I’m surrounded by swathes of empty courts. Young’uns don’t even play the small sided game; if it doesn’t involve a computer terminal or hoisting weights, they don’t care. That’s fairly tragic on so many levels.

With a maximum of 9 teams huddling under the TAL umbrella for next season, we did the only rational thing; we contacted the brilliantly run Northern Alliance and asked them if they’d be interested in taking the league over. With the blessing of the Northumberland FA, they are. It is their intention to set up a fourth Alliance division of 16 teams, called the Development Division for 2019/2020, adopting such nomenclature mainly to accrue start-up funding from the FA. It is my belief that they are keen to take all of our remaining clubs; a couple are in with a good shout of a place in the main structure of Alliance D2, while all those who complete the application process are guaranteed a spot in the Development Division.  The 9 teams split into two distinct groups: Haltwhistle Jubilee, Morpeth, Swalwell, Red House Farm and West Jesmond are all the highest senior level, or only, team operating from that club. Haltwhistle will be Champions and would be elected to the Northern Alliance in any circumstance. The next 3 are all the senior sides of large junior clubs, with Swalwell and Red House Farm having previously been members of the Alliance. My personal opinion is that West Jesmond, who have achieved much to be proud of during their membership of the TAL, may prefer to apply to the Corinthian League. The other 4 teams: Ponteland United Reserves, Gosforth Bohemian Reserves, Chemfica Amateurs and Wideopen A are the reserve sides of clubs already in the Alliance. Pont really should change their name and join Haltwhistle in the Alliance proper, while Bohs and Chemfica may be torn between applying to the Corinthians or the Alliance Development. Wideopen were the only club to vote against dissolution, so it’s going to happen, regardless of where the clubs chose to play, or not, next season.

The final AGM will be on Friday 14th June, but I won’t be there, as Tynemouth Bad Boys are away to High Stables at Beamish and East Stanley in the Midweek Cricket League the same night. I learned that at the pre-season meeting, which followed the TAL EGM at Blue Flames, showing perhaps that I’m more interested in administration than sport. The final hurrahs of the Tyneside Amateur League will be our cup finals, on Saturdays 27th April, 4th May and 11th May at Benfield, kick off 2pm. On those dates you may see, in order, Haltwhistle versus Bohs to decide the 53rd different winners of  the Tyneside Amateur Challenge Shield, West Jesmond looking for their  third victory in the Neville Cowey Cup, against Chemfica Amateurs and teams TBC, but possibly Morpeth v Swalwell, in the John Hampson Trophy. Only £2 in with a free buffet afterwards; please come along if you can. Remember, the football season doesn’t have to end when the Northern League does.

Obviously, with there being only 18 teams in the top tier of the Northern League, not only are there gaps in the fixture list, but the whole competition wraps up early. Last year Benfield had 17 games in April, which was frankly insane; the players were knackered, the pitches were churned up and the spectators were punch drunk to the point of boredom. It’s not been the case this year. The curtain comes down on the season on Easter Monday, when Benfield play West Auckland at Seaham in the League Cup final. Our last league game is also at Seaham, on Saturday 13th April, meaning I’ve already been casting around for alternative entertainment to fill my Saturdays. Bearing in mind that The North East Premier League returns on Saturday 20th April, if I count backwards from the end of May, my season could end like this -:

Saturday 25th May: Trip to Scotch Juniors or
Whitburn v Tynemouth
Saturday 18th May: Coundon and Leeholme v Wideopen, Alliance D2 or
Burnopfield v Tynemouth
Saturday 11th May: John Hampson Cup final and
Tynemouth v South Northumberland
Saturday 4th May: Neville Cowey Cup final and
Tynemouth v Felling
Saturday 27th April: Tyneside Amateur Challenge Shield final and
Tynemouth 2nds v Boldon 2nds
Saturday 20th April: New Fordley v Seaton Delaval , Alliance Premier or
Bedlington v Seaton Burn, Alliance D1 or
Blyth v Burradon, Alliance D2 or   
Rothbury v Seaton Sluice, Alliance D2 or
West Allotment Celtic v Durham City, Northern League D2 and
Tynemouth 2nds v Sacriston 2nds

There are several of these dates that are set in stone. For instance, the 3 TAL finals and the Coundon game, as it is the only game in the region that day, while the last Saturday in May is at the caprices of the eternally eccentric WSJFA. In total contrast, April 20th boasts games at a whole raft of grounds I’ve not been to before, though one important point to factor in will be the fact I’m likely to be accompanied by my pal Davdi, a somewhat slightly eccentric Canadian workmate, who displays impeccable musical tastes, a fondness and appreciation of proper beer, as well as a sporting temperament that began as a fan of ice hockey but has spread to include other games, including football. Obviously, having been resident in Newcastle for the past 7 years almost, he’s been to SJP and seen his interest peak and then piqued by Newcastle United, so I was delighted when he read my book about Percy Main Amateurs, and expressed an interest in seeing a game of football, providing there were pints at the end of it.

Saturday April 6th saw Benfield at a loose end, providing the perfect opportunity for an exploratory dive into the alluring rockpools of local football. I’d looked at the Northern League fixtures and only Hebburn versus Whickham really stood out as a decent game in close travelling distance, so I decided to have a delve into the Alliance. Any game you see in the Northern Alliance will be an afternoon well spent. If Benfield aren’t playing, I tend to look to this league for my football fix.  The one game that really stood out was Shankhouse against New Fordley, especially as their Action Park would be a new ground, though I’ve seen them at their previous home of Northburn several times before, including one memorable midweek encounter when the noise of a Zumba class taking place in the nearby community centre drowned out the frantic shouts of the players as Percy Main bested the home side 6-4.. Being honest though, the real reason for choosing this one is the fact the ground shares a name with Shellac’s debut album; At Action Park.



Rather like Shellac, both Davdi and I have both, independently, adopted an embittered, bleak and sardonic view of life. The necessity of such a Weltanschauung was brought home to me while awaiting a fashionably and predictably late Davdi, as I sat at the top of Northumberland Street, nursing an overpriced and flavourless Costa as a talentless Spanish language busker ploughed dismally through Guantanamero and La Bamba. At last he turned up, announcing he’d checked the route on Google, which is great as I can’t read maps and we’d never have found the place if I’d been forced into a leadership role. We climbed aboard a 43, engaged in linguistically restricted failed attempts at witty bavarderie with the Polish Myra Hindley lookalike at the wheel, then sat. In silence. Brooding.


On the way, we passed Benson Park, home of Gosforth Bohemians, Lockey Park, where Wide Open play and Seaton Burn welfare, before turning right and heading for Dudley, which boasts the Willie John Sams Centre, former home of Newcastle BT, and our destination. By 2.22pm we were among the 22 non-paying customers ready for Shankhouse against New Fordley, at Action Park.  Cold. Damp. Free. Cheap weak tea and coffee. Strong, passionate football, with more skill from the away side than the home. New Fordley won 2-0; a goal in each half. A low shot from distance, tucked right in the corner after 30 and a powerful thump on the hour that left the keeper motionless.  Game over, we caught the bus back to town. Somewhere near the Racecourse, Palace scored the goal that beat Newcastle.


By full time in that one, Davdi were in The Mean Eyed Cat enjoying some glorious Two By Two Pale Ale. By 6pm, we were in The Bodega, enjoying a raft of ales. By 8.30, I was in Bar Loco, supping Wylam and half dreaming about being on the bus home, having  somehow lost the £180 pair of specs I’d only picked up from the opticians that day. By 10.30, I was asleep, dreaming of where Davdi and I will go next. He’s noticed Percy Main host Wallington on April 20th. Percy Main 2nds host Backworth 2nds as well…



No comments:

Post a Comment