Thursday 10 May 2018

Going to Buenos Aires

Issue #20 of The Football Pink is out soon. It's a brilliant publication and I implore you to get a copy from https://thefootballpink.bigcartel.com/product/pre-order-the-football-pink-issue-20 as it is the best football publication out there. I've honoured to be in there, with this piece on Ally McLeod's personal nightmare in Aregentina 1978 -:


The distinguished football journalist, social media agent provocateur and diehard Dundee fan Patrick Barclay still maintains that his favourite international tournament was the 1984 European Championships in France. He further contends that victory for the outstanding Platini-inspired hosts was only part of the appeal; other reasons for opting for this contest above all others include the absence of England, meaning the incidence of patio furniture being used as weapons while brawling with the gendarmerie in late medieval back streets was much reduced, and the fact only 8 teams competed, making every game crucial to progression. In this era of bloated 32 team tournaments suffused with banal games of minimal import, there’s a great deal to be said for Paddy’s logic I must admit. Sadly, those days of taut, meaningful competition are gone, other than in the amazing, shrinking cricket World Cup, but don’t let me get started on that outrage or I’ll never get this piece finished.

When the tumultuous events of winter 1989 enacted a chain of events that resulted in the dissolution of the Warsaw Pact and the attendant fragmentation of associated, symbiotic deformed workers’ states into a multiplicity of ethno-nationalist proletarian Bonapartist heimats, the World Cup and indeed the Eurovision Song Contest, would never be the same again. As a direct result of the Berlin Wall coming down, UEFA has expanded from 24 constituent members in 1991, to 56 at the time of writing; far more than the 42 countries permitted to enter the Eurovision Song Contest.

The establishment of newly independent countries created increased pressure for an expanded World Cup, with an enlarged television audience demanding more games. As well as providing FIFA with untold opportunities for corrupt kickbacks, sweeteners, brown envelopes and all manner of shady deals, the false flag of meritocracy was shamelessly waved outside the Nyon Kremlin. Initially designed for 16 finalists, though the 3 pre war tournaments charmingly hovered both below and above this number in the dotage of casual Corinthianism, the World Cup was modified to include 24 teams in 1982 and then 32 from 1998; no doubt Blatter’s farcical plan to have 48 finalists by 2026 will come to fruition and eventually the whole bloody circus will incorporate every land mass, atoll and coral reef that has been claimed as sovereign territory, whether inhabited or not, playing 7 days a week, 365 days a year in a never-ending series of attritional goalless draws, disfigured by biased refereeing, risible theatrics and ever more infuriating varieties of time wasting.

Forty years ago, the world was not a gentler or less cynical place, but we inhabitants of Great Britain were a simpler breed. Amidst the dying embers of the post war social democratic consensus and the crepuscular gloaming of the sun setting on the economic marvel of full employment, the singular motive for most workers was a simple desire to put food on the table and keep the wolf from the doors of every nuclear family. Ordinary folk knew their worth and their power. Industrial action was endemic in the struggle for a living wage and safe conditions of service, while sport, music, television and the cinema were strictly for entertainment purposes only. In these days of post industrial ennui, the needless nature of so much of that which is called work, allows for endless hours to be spent at employers’ expense engaged in social media discourse, either furtively on smartphones hidden below desks or brazenly at PC terminals. Debate and interaction on those topics formerly regarded as pastimes now occupy the greater part of the minds of countless millions on a daily basis, from clocking on time to logging off. Fear not for capitalism though; it remains in rude health, as the subsistence bundles doled out by swaggering plutocrats to disenfranchised and alienated wage slaves is smaller year on year. Back in 1978, ordinary people knew their enemies, which is why Scotland, the same as had happened in 1974, took the best wishes of a whole nation, not just their fellow Scots, with them as they flew off to Argentina. As “comedian” Andy Cameron so eloquently remarked on his hubristic top ten chart hit -:

We're representing Britain
And we're gaunny do or die.
England cannae dae it
Cause they didnae qualify.

We're on the march wi' Ally's Army.
We're going tae the Argentine
And we'll really shake them up
When we win the World Cup,
Cause Scotland is the greatest football team.

With West Germany having qualified as holders, the remaining 31 members of UEFA were divided into 9 groups, to compete for 8 guaranteed places in the final. Four of the groups had 4 participants, while the other 5 had only 3, which seems incredible in these days of 7 or 8 countries per group. Those who qualified outright were: Poland, Austria, Holland, France, Sweden, Spain, Scotland and Italy, who finished ahead of England. The group winners with the worst record, Hungary, played off against Bolivia, the side that finished bottom of the South American qualifiers.  The not quite so magnificent Magyars prevailed by a margin of 9-2 on aggregate, claiming the tenth European spot in the finals. But what of the other 15 participants? Argentina were there as hosts, joined by Brazil and Peru from Latin America. Tunisia were Africa’s sole representatives, with Mexico from Central and North America. Iran meanwhile had the honour of representing the whole of Asia and Oceania after an exhaustive process involving 21 other countries. To be frank, the whole charade was more than a wee bit Eurocentric. Yet England still conspired to miss out for the second tournament in a row.

To this day, received football wisdom lays the blame for that failure at the door of Don Revie; the man whose historical reputation in the popular imagination is a synthesis of Shakespeare’s Richard III and Al Capone. Without question, Revie was an unmitigated disaster as national team boss, and nothing became his tenure more than his vacating of it. Indeed, both England and Scotland changed managers during the qualification process. England, having started the campaign well enough with back to back wins over Finland, suffered the only blemish on their record with a 2-0 loss to Italy in Rome on a Wednesday afternoon in November 1976. As Revie’s side had failed to reach the European Championships that had taken place that summer, despite defeating eventual winners Czechoslovakia 3-0 in the opening qualifier, growing disquiet in the tabloid press over the national team’s lack of identity or a coherent game plan began to make the legendary paranoid capo feel uncomfortable. Even a 5-0 win over Luxembourg did not silence the critics. These days international friendlies are viewed with abject scorn by almost every football fan, but back in the 70s they really meant something; Alf Ramsey bemoaned the criticism his team endured after trouncing Austria 7-0 at Wembley in September 1973, while England’s 2-0 triumph over World Champions West Germany in March 1975, inspired by Alan Hudson and Malcolm MacDonald, was optimistically viewed as ushering in a whole new era. Of equal import were the venerable, end of season Home International Championships and what did for Don Revie were disastrous defeats at Wembley to Wales and then Scotland in a 4-day period. Losses on such an unacceptable scale saw his castigation in the popular press reach vitriolic levels. Such opprobrium forced Revie’s hand and resulted in him missing England’s tour of South America, where creditable draws against Brazil, Argentina and Uruguay were seen as largely incidental. Instead he was in the UAE, negotiating a contract that dripped petrodollars to manage their national side. The FA, who had been hoodwinked into believing Revie was actually away on some kind of a scouting mission, were outraged and banned him from working in England, though this was rescinded after Revie took them to court; judgement was long in the future when Revie fired his typically mendacious and fraudulent departing shot -:

I sat down with my wife, Elsie, one night and we agreed that the England job was no longer worth the aggravation. It was bringing too much heartache to those nearest to us. Nearly everyone in the country wants me out. So, I am giving them what they want. I know people will accuse me of running away, and it does sicken me that I cannot finish the job by taking England to the World Cup finals in Argentina next year, but the situation has become impossible.

Revie’s replacement was the studious and kindly Ron Greenwood, who led his new charges to a morale boosting 2-0 victory over Italy that gave them a slim chance of qualification. Sadly, in those days before the infamous Austria v West Germany sporting Anschluss of Spain 82, there was no compunction to have crucial games played simultaneously. Consequently, Italy eased to a 3-0 win over Luxembourg and pipped England on goal difference in December 1977. Meanwhile Scotland had been celebrating their qualification for 2 months already. Drawn in a 3-team group with Wales and Czechoslovakia, they bounced back to top the group, following a 2-0 loss in the opening game in Prague and the subsequent, unexpected departure of manager Willie Ormond in May 1977, who had decided to take the hot seat at Tynecastle, which was either a brave or foolhardy thing for a Hibernian legend to do. Career wise, it was the equivalent of resigning as chair of News International to run a corner paper shop.

Into the breach stepped Ally MacLeod, with a managerial CV boasting 9 years of shrewd husbandry among the Honest Men of Ayr United and two successful seasons at Aberdeen, where he’d won the Scottish League Cup the year before. His appointment was clearly the meritocratic principle of management writ large; a shot at the big time for the immodest mouse that roared "My name is Ally MacLeod and I am a winner” to the assembled gentlemen of the fourth estate at his inaugural press conference. Incidentally, MacLeod got the job only a year before Jock Stein left Celtic and a matter of weeks before Tommy Docherty’s love for his physiotherapist’s wife cost him the gig at Old Trafford. Still, I’m sure the blazers at Park Gardens had no regrets over their actions when MacLeod’s first two competitive games saw a 3-1 victory over the Czechs at Hampden and then a 2-0 success away to Wales, courtesy in part to Don Masson’s somewhat controversial penalty, in a game played at Anfield, ostensibly because of crowd trouble at Ninian Park the year before and the perceived unsuitability of Wrexham’s Racecourse Ground. In truth, the perennially hard-up Welsh FA sought a larger venue in order to maximise gate receipts which, in those far-off more innocent times, were the main source of revenue. Unfortunately, in making that decision, they handed the initiative to the Scots who travelled in huge numbers, effectively turning the ground into a Hampden on Mersey.  



At some point between October 12th, 1977 and the end of May 1978, Ally MacLeod lost the run of himself. Despite a moderate set of Home Internationals, capped by a single goal defeat in Glasgow to England, Hampden became the setting for the most premature adulation in the history of the game. Instead of setting off for Argentina in a low-key, professional manner, a wholly unnecessary farewell parade was arranged, whereby an emotionally overwrought MacLeod announced to 25,000 near hysterical fans that his team would return with "at least a medal." Perhaps hindsight may have been kinder to MacLeod if he’d confessed to a bout of temporary insanity, whipped up by the fervour of a partisan crowd, but there seemed little chance of this when, about to board a flight from Prestwick to Buenos Aries a few days later, he responded to being asked what he would do if Scotland somehow won the World Cup with a terse, though deluded, “Retain it.”

The bald statistics of Scotland’s actual performances in Argentina are well known to all who remember or care: firstly, a 3-1 loss to Peru, whose play was as stylish as their red-sashed shirts in the opening game. Despite Joe Jordan giving the Scots the lead, Teófilo Cubillas ran the game from midfield, scoring twice himself, though if Don Masson had not missed from the spot, the game may have been closer. It appeared Scotland and by definition MacLeod had not simply underestimated their opponents, the wave of sentimental delusion that had borne them across the globe meant they had not given their opponents a second thought. The subsequent revelation that Willie Johnston had failed a drugs test, having taken a cold remedy that doubled as a stimulant, and was being sent home, did little to restore bruised team morale. Gross, incompetent amateurism had fatally holed Scotland below the waterline after a single game.
Meanwhile, Holland strolled to a 3-0 victory over unfancied Iran, though Peru held them to a goalless draw next time out, though that game received absolutely zero attention when compared to events in Cordoba where Scotland contrived to draw 1-1 with Iran, who gifted them the lead with an own goal.



When selecting the go-to iconic image of Argentina 1978, the blizzard of confetti floating down on the thermals to coat the pitch before kick-off whenever the home side played is certainly up there. The stirring footage of Archie Gemmill’s wonder goal that gave Scotland a 3-1 lead over Holland in a game they valiantly, though vainly, won 3-2, when a 3-goal margin was needed to make the second round, must also be in with a shout. Sadly, none who saw it can ever forget the haunted sight of MacLeod, frustrated almost to the point of tears, slumped on the bench, head in hands; it was fate, cackling maniacally at the man who would be king. Four decades later, I can close my eyes and picture it; the television footage drenched in the same weird yellow hue I recall from the whole tournament.

Scotland, who had gone out to Argentina as lions rampant came back home like slaughtered lambs. Their silence spoke volumes about failure and regret. The whole Tartan nation united in grief and recriminatory contempt, though sympathy south of the border was brief and in short supply; essentially, English pity was of the kind that now accompanies any defeat in a Grand Slam event for Andy Murray.

Scarcely believably, MacLeod did not choose and was not required to fall on his sword. Instead he clung painfully to power for one last fateful defeat; a 3-2 loss against Austria in the opening qualifier for the 1980 European Championships tolled his funeral bell after a mere 17 games. Jock Stein, hastily regretting his move to Leeds United, emulated Brian Clough by leaving Elland Road after 44 days, albeit in very different circumstances, and took on the permanent role of national team manager that he’d overseen on a part time caretaker basis as far back as 1965. It was a posting he would fulfil with honour and integrity until his death in September 1985.

As for Ally MacLeod, there would be redemption in club management. He would take charge at Motherwell, Airdrie, his spiritual home of Ayr United for a second period (where he won the Second Division title in 1989) and finally at Queen of the South. Remarkably, aged 61, he turned out for their reserve team and scored a penalty. Meanwhile, with the passage of time, his reputation was rehabilitated, and he became a respected elder statesman of the game, being presented with a Lifetime Achievement award by the SFA at Hampden in 2003, the year before he passed away. Perhaps MacLeod’s epitaph should be his own words, when asked to summarise his career -:

I am a very good manager who just happened to have a few disastrous days, once upon a time, in Argentina.








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