The June Bridies

One of the most eagerly anticipated events in my sporting calendar is the annual pilgrimage to see an end of season Scottish Juniors game. With an end date of the third Saturday in June, which is the day of the Scottish Juniors AGM, a myriad of cup competitions and promotion / relegation play-offs, not to mention the occasional league fixture that hasn’t been played, there are always games for the seasoned groundhopper to enjoy. In the East, there are both the East of Scotland and Fife & Lothians Cup to consider, while the West is simply brimming with knockout competitions; the Ayrshire Cup, the Central League Cup, the West of Scotland Cup and the Evening Times Champions Trophy are all season-ending boxes of delight.

While my baptism in the Juniors was Pollok 1 Arthurlie 2 in February 2003, the first of my season ending adventures wasn’t until 2009. Unlike my previous trips to Pollok, Benburb and Petershill, the Bathgate Thistle versus Forfar West End game at the magnificently named Creamery Park was in the East Region and not the West. Not only that, it was a shit or bust relegation decider. Despite trailing 2-1 at half time, Bathgate turned things around comprehensively and won 5-2, ensuring their safety in the East Region Super League (the top division) and returning Forfar to the Premier League below.

In the 8 years since then, I’ve visited whenever I can and have steadily accumulated a total of 16 different venues in both East and West Regions, from the fascinatingly idiosyncratic Arthurlie, Shotts, Linlithgow and Maryhill to the prosaically spartan Thornton. At the same time, Forfar West End’s fortunes have also fluctuated; while never as bad as their neighbours Forfar Albion, widely considered to be the worst team in the East Region, West End were obliged to spend season 2011/2012 in abeyance as they were unable to raise a team or the funds to pay for one. Thankfully those days are gone and the club is resurgent.

The end of the regular 2016/2017 season saw Musselburgh Athletic and Fauldhouse United occupying the two bottom spots in the East Super League, indicating mandatory demotion. Meanwhile, Sauchie and Kennoway Star Hearts were promoted, leaving a 2 legged promotion / relegation play-off between Newtowngrange Star and Forfar West End as my game of choice. Forfar had won the first leg 3-1 at home on Saturday May 27th, but my choice was made mainly on account of Newtowngrange’s proximity to Edinburgh, especially when compared to the other 3 games in the East Region that same day. What had seemed to be the most enticing fixture, a possible title shoot-out between Kelty Hearts and Bonnyrigg Rose, ended up as a damp squib after Bonnyrigg’s home loss to Linlithgow the previous week handed the title to Kelty. The other 2 games, Broughty Athletic 2 Lochee United 3 in Dundee and Jeanfield Swifts 0 Linlithgow Rose 1 in Perth, were out of the question because of distance.

Meanwhile, over in the West, there was only 1 game scheduled and the baffling complexities of Juniors football are summed up by its scheduling.  On Wednesday May 31^st, Petershill won 2-1 away to Pollok in the Central League Cup semi-final, giving them a place in the final at Cambuslang on Sunday June 11^th. Meanwhile, Benburb and Lesmahagow faced each other in a quarter final tie, with the winners due to host Yoker in the other semi on Saturday June 3^rd. All clear so far? Right, here’s where it gets crazy; a last gasp equaliser by Lesmahagow took the Benburb game straight to penalties after a 2-2 draw, as is the Juniors way. Benburb were allowed by the referee to bring on 2 substitutes for the shoot-out, against all laws of the game; predictably they both scored and Benburb won 5-4. Lesmahagow protested and were awarded the game, at which point Benburb appealed successfully at this decision. The West Region officials decided a replay would take place on Saturday 3^rd June, only for Benburb to claim they couldn’t raise a team, despite the fact they ought to have been playing Yoker in a semi-final that day.

The final decision was to put the Benburb v Lesmahagow back to Monday 5^th June and for Yoker to host Petershill in a league game. Not only was this a potential Central League Cup final rehearsal, it was a relegation decider, as Yoker needed a point to stay up. Somewhat incredibly they lost 6-0, sending them down to the Central First Division and reprieving Maryhill. On the Monday, Benburb trounced Lesmahagow 3-0 in the replayed quarter final, meaning they’ll host Yoker on Wednesday June 7^th for the right to play Petershill in the final on Sunday 11^th June at Cambuslang. 

Also in the West, the Ayrshire Cup is at the semi-final stage; both games taking place on Wednesday June 7^th and the final is on Wednesday 14^th June at Irvine Meadow. The Evening Times League Champions’ Cup final will be Saturday 10^th June at Benburb, where Glasgow Perthshire will face the winners of Glenafton Athletic (fresh from adding the Scottish Junior Cup to their West Premier League title after seeing off old foes Auchinleck Talbot 2-1 in the final) against Girvan, which is also on Wednesday 7^th June.

The East sees Tranent facing Broxburn on Wednesday 7^th June at Newtongrange in the final of the Fife & Lothians Cup, while Mussleburgh Athletic host Bonnyrigg Rose the same night for a chance to play Dundee North End in the final of the East of Scotland Cup. In the best traditions of the Juniors, the date and venue for that game is yet to be announced.

Anyway, with Harry, Gary, Ben, Ollie, Ginger Dave and Big Kenny all turning down the chance to accompany me to this veritable football feast, I headed north on the 11.45 ex Newcastle with Laura, who was up for a spot of sightseeing and a bit shopping rather than the football. We parted at Waverley at 1.15 where my pal James Little picked me up and whisked me to the newish, but well designed and comfortable New Victoria Park.  Its semi-rural setting amid pine trees will make it a magnet for late summer midges and the rough grass banking was carpeted in as many desiccated fox turds as it was stray pine cones. As is ever the case on these occasions, I seemed to know as many in the crowd as I do at an average Northern League game; Davie Stoker, King of the Groundhoppers John Dawson, Katie & Lee, as well as several others I was on nodding terms with at least, had journeyed to this crucial clash.

There were big stakes riding on this game; hence the tentative opening, where both sides showed good touches but few direct goal attempts.  Also, without seeking to say anything controversial about Scottish society, games in the East do tend to have a veneer of respectability that is more often than not replaced by undercurrents of malevolence in the West.  So it was in this case. There were 20 or so well-refreshed Forfarians with their shirts off, but they didn’t cause a bit of bother.  Mind, I do wonder if Forfar’s female fans are called the West End Girls.

Just before half time, Newtowngrange, which I discovered was pronounced Nitten by the locals, took the lead with a suspiciously offside looking cushioned volley. It was a decent goal and before we could even begin to discuss whether he’d sliced it in, the whistle blew for the break.

Nitten started the second half like an express train, looking likely not just to get back on terms on aggregate, but to go ahead and steamroller the opposition. However, resolute Forfar defending saw the home side’s fire snuff itself out amid a succession of aimless, hopeful balls into the box. Several times Forfar broke and several times they failed to make the most of their chances.  The clock ran down, the referee blew up and Forfar celebrated deliriously.  Strangely, there were no players flat on their back with eyes closed, or down on their haunches dabbing at fake tears among the home side, or vitriolic anger from betrayed and bellicose Star supporters in the 500 plus crowd. It was all rather low key, mainly on account of the prevalence of persistent rumours that suggest Kelty Hearts will resign from the Juniors to take their place in the Scottish pyramid, via the East of Scotland and then Lowland Leagues, with the idea of progressing to the SPFL Division 3 and the chance to play Annan and Peterhead. If this comes to pass, Newtowngrange will be reprieved to fight another day.

After James had whisked me back to Waverley, Laura and I raised a glass in both The Guildford and then The Café Royal, in honour of Nitten and all the other Junior sides for all the entertainment they’ve given me. Long may these annual visits continue.