To the
acclamation of a muted trumpet’s silent fanfare and the paradiddle of a
skinless drum, the 2017 League of Ireland got underway at the end of February.
Now denuded of the stupor-inducing, preludial cross-border kickabout, the
Setanta Cup, the 20 teams went for it hammer and tongs from Friday 24th
February onwards. This season is another
in the regular series of “transitional” ones, whereby the 12 team top flight
and 8 team First Division will be evened up with 3 going down from the Premier
and only one getting promotion. No play-offs either, though I’d imagine there
will be twitchy arses around Merrion Square if Bohs, Pats and Sligo (having
lost all their games so far) remain in the basement come the autumn.
It wouldn’t
be the League of Ireland if the 20 teams involved were the 20 expected to be
there at the end of the previous campaign, especially in the First Division. As
if by magic Waterford United, freed of the incompetent tyranny of Louis
Copeland’s best customer Roddy Collins, have reinvented themselves as Waterford
FC, while Wexford Youths can no longer be seen as Mick Wallace’s personal
fiefdom and tax write-off project, as they’re now Wexford FC.
On the
pitch, we’ve had one abandonment already. With the randy Brandywell hors de combat for 2017, on account of
having the painters in, Derry are playing their games in the European Union at
Maginn Stadium in Buncrana; capacity 1,500. Unfortunately, the big debut night
fell more than a little flat, when the lights failed. I’d like to express my
sympathy for the visiting fans from Limerick. I mean, I really would like to,
but you know. Anyway, fair play to Derry for actually going ahead with the
refurbishment of the Bogside San Siro, though it is strange to have 2 teams
playing in Donegal.
Of course
this is the last season at the old Dalymount Park for Bohemian as well. Big
Club will, apparently, be moving along the road to share with Shelbourne at
Tolka Park next year while the Corpy does Dalier up. Once that’s finished, the
idea is Shels come along to groundshare with Bohs. It would be fair to say that
supporters of the Gypsies are a little happier with proposed arrangements than
th’ oul Reds, many of whom are boycotting home games in protest at the plans.
Goodness knows how they felt at Belfield the other week, losing 4-0 to UCD with
all the goals scored by the half hour mark…
Anyway,
we’ve got until the 27th October to enjoy this pantomime every
Friday night, with the smart money being on Dundalk, as ever, winning the lot
at a canter. Fair play to them; they deserve it, by being the best side in the
country by miles. Cork and probably the Tallaght Corinthians will no doubt be
the next 2; after that, who knows. As
regards promotion; I’d probably go for UCD, unless Longford get their act
together. The biggest ask is actually getting to the end of the season with the
same number of clubs as started it.
Personally,
I only need to visit Cork, Cobh and Limerick to complete my L of I set, but
have to deal with Junior’s graduation in Leeds on Thursday 27th
July, which might scupper my plans for Cork v Galway on Friday 28th followed
by a short hop up to Derry v Limerick on Sunday 30th. If I went the
week earlier, I could have a trip to Stab City, as Limerick host Sligo on July
22nd, but Cobh seems impossible this year.
Meanwhile,
the Allianz League is underway for GAA heads, marked by the usual indifference
and lack of interest before the proper stuff starts in May with the provincials
and the All Ireland. Cork are showing no
discernible signs of improvement yet; having secured D1 status by beating
Galway in the hurling play-off last year, they’re second bottom, having beaten
Clare first time out, then lost home to Dublin and away to Kilkenny. With
Waterford and table toppers Tipp to come, a vast improvement is needed.
Meanwhile in football, D2 is proving no easier; an opening draw with Galway was
followed by losses to Clare and Kildare, with only a win against Fermanagh to
cheer the Rebels so far. Home games with Meath and Down and a visit to Derry
will all require a sea change if the indignity of a second successive
relegation is to be avoided.
Meanwhile,
at Congress delegates approved an experimental change to the structure of the
football championship at the quarter final stage that even the League of
Ireland would have rejected as too labyrinthine. In 2018, the first year of a three-year trial
period for the new format, the two groups, each comprised of four teams, will
look as follows:
Group 1: Munster champions, Connacht
champions, Ulster runner-up (or qualifier team that beats them in Round 4),
Leinster runner-up (or qualifier team that beats them in round 4)
Group 2: Ulster champions, Leinster
champions, Munster runner-up (or qualifier team that beats them in Round 4),
Connacht runner-up (or qualifier team that beats them in round 4)
In the new
format, each team will have a home game, an away game and a game at Croke Park.
The semi-finals will be comprised of the top two teams from each group and the
final will be held in mid-August. While 76% of delegates approved, coming down
very much against this were the players, whose GPA association produced this
withering response that expressed their opposition on the following grounds -:
1. The lack of sufficient and
meaningful consultation with players regarding all aspects of the proposal.
2. The fact that the proposals
offer little by way of change for lower ranked counties who are traditionally
less successful than those competing at the latter stages of the championship.
3. The motivational impact for
players competing at the lower end of the Championship which may be negatively
impacted leading to concerns about the longer term sustainability of the
football championship.
4. The fact that the proposed
format will do little to alleviate the increasing gap between higher and lower
ranked counties.
5. The reality that there will be
no incentive for provincial winners over other teams who qualify for the
quarter-final stage. Provincial winners would now have to play an additional three
games in order to reach the semi-final.
Of course
the way Cork are going, this will be of little or no relevance to the
Leesiders, rather similar to how the future of the Six Counties could have
little cause to involve the voices of Unionism, after an epochal set of results
in the latest Stormont elections, as the post partition Unionist in-built
majority has finally come tumbling down. The Walls of Gerrymander lost their
footing at the small measure of half a billion burned on the bonfire of Arlene Foster’s
vanity in the Renewal Heat Initiative fiasco. Once Lord McGuinness of
Londonderry decided he’d rather be fishing than power sharing, the DUP launched
a manifesto based on the single principle that you’re better off trusting a
bent Prod than a straight Taig. Unsurprisingly, such an enlightened approach to
cross community politics spectacularly failed, except among the hard-core
support, who remain in a state of denial following the subsequent emergence of
a whole new political landscape in the early hours of Friday morning.
First of all
OUP leader Mike Nesbitt brought his short and inglorious tenure at the helm of
the Tory Party with Sashes, no doubt handing over the responsibility for Malone
Road Monkee business to Worshipful Brother Michael Dolenz and the Reverend
Tork. Then the crocodiles really came home to roost when the final seat tallies
were known; DUP 28, Sinn Fein 27, SDLP 12, OUP 10, Alliance 8 and 5 others,
comprising 2 Green, 1 People Before Profit, 1 Independent Unionist and 1
Traditional Unionist Voice. Sadly, it wasn’t the late Doctor Paisley’s voice
coach…
So, the
scores on the doors see 40 non-surrenderers and 42 Croppy boys and girls,
assuming PBP and the Green Party don’t wish to associate themselves with
creationist theology, banning Sunday trading and the criminalisation of all
non-heterosexual relationships. In addition, there are 8 Alliance Party spelky
arses, running around shushing the rest of the badly behaved children like
supply teachers at a sink comprehensive that’s proud to be in special measures.
Don’t expect any discernible progress soon or indeed ever; Lord Hain is
helpfully beseeching Theresa May to call a summit to address the Donegall
Impasse, while Tiocfaidh Arlene is suggesting a way forward would be for there
to be less Unionist parties in the future, having already achieved the
seemingly impossible task of delivering less MLAs.
Let’s be
honest, it’s a crying shame the marginalised and embittered Protestant working
class can still only see fit to return weasel-faced crooks, whose red Ulster
hands are always to be found in someone else’s till or other. However, despite
the untrammelled glee of Shinners from Belcoo to Cushendun, the prospect of a
border poll is as likely as the reincarnation of Roddy McCorley almost 217
years to the day since he went to his fate on the Bridge of Toome. Certainly,
the discovery of many sets of human remains on the site of a former unmarried
mother and child hostel in Tuam isn’t likely to endear Rome rule to the
kerbstone painters any time soon.
As is ever
the case, Northern Ireland remains an almost intractable problem, but the hope
is demographic change. Will the evolving and liberalising multi-ethnic,
multi-cultural nature of the 26 counties, depending on who gets to wear the Colonel O’Duffy replica
Blueshirt after they’ve killed Kenny of course, not to mention the harsh
realities of post Brexit penury for those who still want the Queen’s shillings,
be attractive enough to render partition an irrelevance? Well, let’s hope so…
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