Monday, 30 January 2017

Apocalypse (Not) Now



Donald Trump… frankly the start of his dictatorship has been worse than anyone could have predicted. While we all reeled impotently at the blow of his victory over the dislikeable, though not potentially Armageddon-inducing, option of Hilary Clinton, especially as it came on the back of the Brexit Tragedy, there was a minimal level of residual complacency among the ageing liberal intelligentsia. The crumb of comfort we sought to feast on was the knowledge we’d endured the Thatcher and Reagan Folie a Deux, yet lived to tell the tale. Surely, almost 30 years later, what William S Burroughs described as the cattle, oil, real estate… poker playing, whiskey drinking evil old men who run the United States of America… back stage operators for whom presidents and ambassadors are just jokes and errand boys would have taken Trump to one side, in the manner of Old Man Bickford, and explained the reality of political office. Alas not; the only thing Trump had explained to him was the Geneva Convention by Angela Merkel at the end of a momentous and miserable week that saw the death of human rights in the States.

Instead we’ve had the Mexican Wall plan reaffirmed and the hideous, racist, empty-headed Muslim Ban. At least the decision has been stayed, to allow some kind of sense to prevail. However it’s gratifying to see the enormous level of popular protest on both sides of the pond.  Astonishingly, one the 45th anniversary of Bloody Sunday, tooled up Babylon didn’t go round firing off volleys of semi-automatic gunfire into crowds of innocent people, exercising their democratic rights. No doubt this will come, as shown by the refusal to consider the implication of over 1 million signatures and rising for the on-line petition opposing any state visit by this despotic fucktard by the toadying filth in the British Government.

Maybe we should let Trump visit Britain, then waterboard the bastard to within an inch of his life. Now I’ve jokingly referred to America as the Great Satan and called upon Britain to align ourselves with the Democratic People's Republic of Korea for a long time now, but with the increasingly incompetent Theresa May, visibly transforming from Thatcher Lite to Major Minor in front of our eyes, while seeking to blend the accountability of Pontius Pilate with the vengeful aggression of Neville Chamberlain, now must be the time to sort out one’s passport to Pyongyang.  After all, it’s not as if the leader of Her Majesty’s Opposition is doing much to help.

I’ve been a loyal supporter of Corbyn from the get go, despite wavering slightly when that other bloke stood against him last year… oh you know; Owen Thingy. Well, I’ve finally had it with Facefuzz Farage, after he insisted Labour MPs should back Article 50 on the basis that’s it’s the democratic will of the people. How many more times do we need to say that for the most part, the fact that 52% voted Leave in response to a binary question that none of them appeared to understand, for reasons that had nothing to do with the EU? By and large, pro-Brexit voters were snidey Carling drinkers from your local, unfriendly Wetherspoons who, if they came from up here, probably regard Mitrovic as the next Alan Shearer.



And that, sadly, brings us to Newcastle United. You know if Trump, May and Corbyn have difficult and potentially epochal weeks ahead of them, the pressure on them probably pales into insignificance when you look at Rafa Benitez’s forthcoming agenda. Win both home games against QPR then Derby and the NUFC wobble will become a distant memory; take less than 4 points and the mounting clamour for the manager’s head on a spike will become deafening.

Actually, hold it right there. There is no actual evidence of any significant groundswell of opinion expressing any desire to see Benitez replaced, other than Ashington’s resident Eeyore Glenn Wallace, who would rather we still had Souness as boss, because “at least he took the cups seriously.” I really can’t begin to answer that point…

Now admittedly the result at Oxford was not the best, though we lost 4-2 there in the 92/93 promotion season of course, while the modern day fan is predictably hysterical when things aren’t going their way and the lack of progress in the transfer market this month has been more than a little frustrating, both for the support and for Rafa. Indeed, words from close to the club do say that Ashley has made it clear Benitez is the best paid manager with the best paid squad in the division. He promised Ashley the playing staff were good enough at the start of the season to win promotion and he’s been asked to keep that promise. Hardball tactics perhaps, but I can see Ashley’s point, even if we are crying out for another striker and a creative midfielder. Now it’s at this point I see Rafa’s point as well; he feels he’s been let down by three players. It’s not hard to work out they are Mitrovic (not enough goals), Colback (tries his best, but simply too limited) and, sadly, Perez (just hasn’t shown enough application in a tough division).  Ayoze can and will come good again, of that I’m sure, but the other two are lost causes I’m afraid. We need to get shot of them and this would have been an ideal time to replace them.

If I were asked if Benitez is doing as well as I expected, the answer would be no, simply because, other than the remarkable Norwich turnaround, Newcastle have failed to come from behind this season. Indeed, I think that only Brentford away and Reading at home have seen the team recover to win after conceding an equaliser. This is why we’ve lost 7 games already; alright Wolves deserved it and Forest was a farce, but both Blackburn games ending up as single goal defeats is very disappointing. If I were asked did I want Benitez to remain as boss; I’d say, without hesitation, absolutely and for as long as he wants the job. It is ironic at a time when the Tory government has the temerity to launch an inquiry into false news sites and their effect on the general population, that certain NUFC fans are questioning the right of any of us to express even a modicum of reasoned discontent, regarding it as heresy to be vociferously denounced. I really hope Glenn doesn’t head to South Tyneside any time soon….

However, and this may change if the next two home games don’t go according to plan and there are no incoming players this window, if you check out the hashtag #RafaOut on Twitter, it becomes abundantly clear there aren’t any actual, real-life Newcastle United fans demanding that. Do some research if you don’t believe me, because what you’ll find is those daft sentiments are being expressed by a collection of self-deprecating NUFC followers as gallows humour following the cup collapse, several Mackem WUM accounts that lie dormant between our defeats, the ill-informed wittering of  followers of other clubs (notably Villa and Leeds) who claim we’re saying it when we’re not and angry NUFC fans ready to flay the hide off any other Newcastle supporter who has uttered such treachery, even if nobody has.

Rather fittingly, in the post-truth era of false news, this is a non-story. It isn’t happening and it should be on www.snopes.com to disprove the gloating of ill-informed opposition supporters eager to bandy the “deluded Mag” term about the place and calm the ire of fiery ultra-loyalists who are ready to hang all Doubting Thomases from the lamp posts on Strawberry Place. Of course while a week is a long time in politics, it could be an eternity in football….


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