Friday, 5 August 2016

The New Traditions


Many people dislike Ryan Air, for their crass commercialism and an approach to customer comfort akin to a winged lorry heading to an abattoir, but I’ll not have a bad word said against them, especially when they fly me to Erin’s Green Isle for £36.50 return. I’d booked my flights for the annual state visit months ago, deciding to really push the boat out and stay for 11 days, including two weekends, rather than the usual week because of the giveaway price I got the travel for. The closer it came to departure date, the more I longed to get away. Post referendum Britain was a horrible, hateful place for a while, and it will no doubt get like that again, so I just wanted to leave all the bigotry, intolerance, constitutional crises and political backstabbing behind to cleanse my spirit among the finest people and in the finest country on earth.

As usual I had an outline itinerary containing definites and possibilities. Cabinteely versus Waterford United was a must see; another tick off the list, as I inch my way to the League of Ireland set. Unfortunately, plans to accompany the Shels lads, with whom we’d enjoyed such a fine time in Waterford last year, down to Limerick were destroyed by the rescheduling of the game from Saturday to Friday at the last minute, meaning the Tolka travellers were left without a bus. All this because Limerick had a League Cup semi on Monday away to Derry. Instead, the last piece of low-hanging fruit from Louth, in the shape of Drogheda United against Cabinteely had to be plucked. This leaves me needing Cobh, Cork and Stab City to complete the set; consequently the 2017 fixtures are already anxiously awaited, by me at least.

In addition, I knew there would be my usual ration of GAA, though I hadn’t a firm plan in place until the last minute, as things were dependent on the outcome of the Connacht Final between Galway and Roscommon. Typically, the first game at Salthill was drawn on July 10th, so a replay on July 17th was required, at which point Galway blitzed Roscommon in Castlebar, securing their place in the quarter finals. For Roscommon, there was the relative ignominy of a “back door” reprieve, with a qualifier against Clare on a neutral ground; Pearse Park, Salthill, Galway. It was almost as if the GAA were taking delight in rubbing Roscommon’s noses in it, but at least I now knew that’s where I’d be heading with John on Saturday July 23rd. Other GAA events were up in the air at that stage, but clearly wouldn’t include a trip to Thurles for the hurling quarter finals as Cork had exited in the second round.

So, I kissed Laura and the cats (Paw Paw and Tromszo, not the Kilkenny hurlers) farewell and arrived at Newcastle Airport for the 22.30 flight on Thursday July 21st. Usually I find myself knee deep in package tour proles, predominantly mackems in stained replica shirts, whenever I fly, but not this time. We were the last flight out, with the previous ones heading for Exeter and Bristol, meaning the airport was near deserted, with Boots and WH Smith the only things open. At least the plane flew out on time. Dublin Airport, in contrast, was leaping; it took 30 minutes to make it through arrivals, where I wistfully realised that if Brexit ever happens, things will get far worse for UK passport holders. Thank goodness for Ireland’s Register of Foreign Births eh?
Unfortunately this delay meant I missed the midnight bus to Dalkey, so had an hour to kill. Aimlessly ambling around with a late night coffee, I noticed the next flight out was to Minsk; no doubt taking the players from FC Dinamo home after their narrow victory over a gallant St. Pat’s at a packed Richmond Park. As the club match report said, let’s hope a few of the 2,800 who were present show their faces in Inchicore again in the future. Anyway, I caught a deserted bus to Killiney Castle, where Declan met me around 2.00 and we walked down to his. A still, warm, comforting evening back where I love to be.

Friday morning, I woke late and spent a bit of time with Declan’s amazing father in law Jack, who gave me a little tour of Dalkey to Dun Laoghaire, totally by accident as he got lost going to pick up Declan and Mel’s sons Jack Christopher and Charlie Alan Shearer (I kid you not) from summer sports camp. Then, back home with Mel in from work, I dropped the usual bombshell that has almost everyone I meet in Ireland shaking their heads whenever I say those cursed words; I’m off to a League of Ireland game. Despite the fact that Ireland’s followers at Euro 2016 were named by UEFA as the tournament’s best, the sad reality is that the 20,000 plus who travelled to France are more than likely uninterested in or even antagonistic towards their domestic game.   Depressingly, the week before the Euros kicked off, the League of Ireland announced the lowest set of weekly crowd figures so far, for the 2016 season. Not only do crowds for the GAA dwarf the attendances at League of Ireland games, the domestic game remains a poor relation to English and Scottish (specifically Celtic) soccer. The departure lounges of Dublin Airport are thronged each Friday with weekending Premier League fans, while the sheer volume of Barstoolers watching Sky games in pubs means that Irish football struggles to find a niche. While Bohs sold out Dalier, with 5,400 there for Newcastle, the week before I arrived, typically enough, Big Club’s next game saw 1,175 present for the visit of Derry City that very Friday. It was live on Eir TV, but still…

One explanation for the crisis in the domestic game is that the FAI are one of the most useless, complacent and indolent sporting organisations in the world, which takes some doing I’ll concede. Despite a recent announcement of a modest donation of €100k to League of Ireland clubs, their crass incompetence is perfectly illustrated by their obsession with keeping a 2 division structure in place, when a 16 team single division is by far the most sensible route for the future. Following the disappearances of Kilkenny City, Kildare County, Mervue United, Monaghan United, Salthill Devon, Sporting Fingal and latterly Shamrock Rovers B, finding a team of useful idiots to make up the full complement is a perennially tough ask, mainly because there’s no money and no publicity below the top flight, meaning the 8 team First Division is a sporting elephants’ graveyard. Limerick City may be top by 20 points, but they’re funded personally by JP McManus.  Athlone Town are Ireland’s oldest club; they’re bottom of the table, skint and ready to go bust. Waterford United used to be one of the country’s foremost clubs, but they’re on the bones of their arse. UCD survive on zero crowds and the benevolence of their institution.  Cobh Ramblers were Roy Keane’s first team, but they’re definitely Cork’s minor club.  Drogheda United won the title a decade ago, then suffered relegation and financial problems. Shelbourne used to be successful, but they’re skint and Tolka Park is in a desperate state. This situation is made all the worse by Bohemian selling Dalymount Park to Dublin Corporation, with a full refurbishment promised in return. Sadly Shels are faced with a choice of share, merge or die with their Phibsborough neighbours, or so it seems.


Understandably, there weren’t many applications for the vacant spot in 2014 when Shamrock Rovers B called it a day, so the FAI turned in desperation to Cabinteely, from the affluent south Dublin suburbs to make up the numbers. The main problem was they played at Kilbogget Park, a public amenity shared with Seapoint RFC, where the only seats are the ones in the bar. A deal was struck with Blackrock RFC for a groundshare at Stradbrook, as the differing seasons for the two codes barely overlap, so Cabo joined the senior ranks in 2015. They promptly finished in last place, but unlike many other clubs who’ve been scarred by life in Ireland’s football basement, Cabinteely may just be here to stay. I had expected to find a kind of Irish MK Dons up in Stradbrook, but the reality was pleasantly different.

Friday evening saw me take a scenic ramble from Dalkey to Blackrock, for Cabinteely’s home game against Waterford United. The crowds at L of I Premier Division games are announced, but not in Division 1, possibly out of politeness. A rough guesstimate suggested to me that around 400 punters, paying €10 a head, were gathered in the 3 sided ground. There was no cover; on the top side railway sleepers provided seating; presumably standing when it’s wet. The bottom side, fringed by trees that screened rugby training pitches, saw the 50 or so travelling supporters congregating by the dugout. Waterford Manager Roddy Collins was attired immaculately as ever, in an open-necked white silk shirt, mustard Chinos and lustrously polished oxblood loafers. Prosaically, the far goal immediately beyond him gave way to untilled soil, while the near goal boasted a changing room and bar complex, with tarmacked standing in front. Neat enough, but only up to Northern Alliance standards over here, even with the floodlights.

I watched with interest the pre-match rituals of the two sides; Cabinteely, managed by L of I legend Eddie Gormley were organised, business-like and enthusiastic in their drills and warm-ups. Waterford came out without the manager and had a game of five-a-side, amid much merriment. One team seemed professional and the other a pub team. The game was the first I’d ever seen officiated by a female referee in Ireland. Basically, she had little or nothing to do as the game followed a pattern I’ve become familiar with at Irish First Division games; much lovely control, quick feet and incisive passing, offset by endless offsides and abject shooting.  Pretty play with no end product; pleasing, but a slightly dull opening period.

During the second half, I took a wander round the place, noticing as I did a complete gear change from Cabo, who won the game 2-0; the first an impressive free kick from distance and the second a powerful header from a pinpoint cross, to polite applause. What occurred to me from drinking in the atmosphere of the place is that basically, Cabinteely are a very well run youth club team; almost like the Wallsend Boys Club of south Dublin, with dozens of teams at all ages, everyone paying subs and volunteering to keep the project on track. Stewards, bar staff, club shop and catering operatives are all the relatives of players in all probability. On the pitch the team are disciplined, respectful and organised, with a clear pattern of play I’m sure is replicated in their underage teams. Waterford United had no answer to such organisation; some players capitulated, while others tried to win it by shooting from impossible angles. Collins raged on the touchline. Their support had hit the clubhouse by 80 minutes, muttering darkly about the death agonies of their club. Cabo’s fans applauded politely at the final whistle; after all, it’s only a game.


I didn’t hang around, preferring to take a wander down to Monkstown DART,  meaning I found myself in The Magpie in Dalkey, supping Spire Pale Ale with the quality, for an eyewatering €5.90 a pint within half an hour. Just then Declan arrived in from a work do at a comedy cafĂ© and the evening got a little messy. Suffice to say; when I arose early on Saturday, I was a little woozy. However, I made the train and DART connections to meet John in Maynooth. Unlike the recent claims by The Most Reverend Diarmuid Martin, Bishop of Dublin, I detected no “sleazy gay subculture” by the banks of the Royal Canal that morning; instead the radio was, perhaps prophetically, playing The Johnsons’ version of The Curragh of Kildare when we met.
John’s a great driver and EU money means Ireland’s roads are grand, by-passing all those places like Kinnegad where you’d be stuck for an hour getting through them in the old days. In 2016, it is a different story, so by lunch time I was staring out on the Atlantic Ocean through a car windscreen. Actually the traffic, once we hit Galway, was so bad getting into Salthill that I saw the same view for about an hour until we parked up. Still, it was nice to take a bracing walk along the promenade of County Galway’s number one seaside resort, before taking our seats for the main event.


To be fair to the GAA, Galway borders Clare to the south and Roscommon to the north, so the choice of venue was almost equidistant for both counties. Despite the 35,000 capacity, the attendance was never likely to reach that figure in the functional, concrete ground that reminded me of the kind of municipal sporting stadia you see in every town in Eastern Europe. Clare is a hurling county, predominantly, and they had a quarter final on the Sunday against Galway down in Thurles, Co Tipperary to think of, while Roscommon fans were noticeably gloomy after the beating they’d endured the week before. Perhaps they were correct to be so circumspect, as in the end, the majority Clare support in the 5,301 crowd went home happy, as their team ran out 2-12 (18 points) to 1-09 (12 points) winners over a desperately disappointing Roscommon.


In the first half, Roscommon’s short, hand-passing game did not allow them to use the wind advantage properly, while Clare’s aggressive, long game saw them surge ahead. They could have goaled after 20 seconds, so slow out the blocks were the Rossies. Roscommon battled back to level 1-03 to 0-06 on the half hour, but then fell away badly. The second half was all Clare and they could have won by a far greater margin, as Roscommon lost their discipline and had 2 players sent off. Clare had one dismissed; their number 9 who was forced to sit disconsolately in the stand near us. The lad looked on the verge of tears at his fate. Happily, his card was subsequently reduced to a yellow and he was cleared to play in the quarter finals at Croke Park the week after.


At full time, we headed disconsolately north east to Tuam in Galway for a bite to eat. We stopped when tired and anguished by our inability to find any radio commentary on the next qualifier, where Tipperary defeated Derry to set up a quarter final with Galway, also the week after. Our appetite assuaged, including a remarkably reasonably priced pint of Hooegaarden, our next stop was Boyle in Roscommon, John’s home town, to drink black porter until almost 5 in the morning in Kate Lavin’s Bar. I had one of those superb nights that will live long in the memory; the camaraderie, the friendship, the astonishing popularity of G&T in Roscommon and the quality of the drink, all of which will make me return to a fabulous little bar. Thanks to you all for the worst hangover of the whole holiday!!


It was with sore heads and bleary eyes, after a cautious drive east along the road, we saw RTE’s coverage on the excellent Sunday Game of the double-header from Thurles, when Waterford eased past Wexford and Galway trounced Clare, to advance to the hurling semi-finals against Kilkenny and Tipperary respectively. Seriously, the quality of RTE punditry, the whining Ger Loughnane apart, puts the BBC to shame. Mind, their quality coverage isn’t restricted to GAA only. While Eir TV, the inheritors of Setanta’s debt, show a live top flight game every Friday night, RTE cover cup games and have a weekly highlights programme on a Monday, Soccer Republic, that brings in good viewing figures and boasts the intelligent commentary of former national boss Brian Kerr, which begs the question why the FAI haven’t found a role for him in their structure.

Despite a dry Sunday, I was still feeling rough on Monday, so I took a bracing coastal walk up to Dun Laoghaire, with the idea of buying a reasonably priced, second hand bike, for a bit of touring about. Sadly the three places I tried had nothing suitable, so I took a long walk out on the east pier, to watch the baffling sight of the Men’s World Laser Yachting Championships, which appears to consist of lots of little boats crisscrossing each other, while the pilot almost falls out, trying to manoeuvre the sails. It’s not a spectator sport to be fair. When it started to train, I headed into the Library for a coffee, like a real pensioner on holiday and idly flicked through a guide to what was on in Dublin, to commemorate the 1916 Rising.

Ordinarily of late, I’ve spent little or no time in Dublin as, basically, I know it so well and there’s nothing for me to see. This time was different; I decided I really ought to visit 3 exhibitions on 1916, at Collins Barracks National Museum, in the GPO and at The Ambassador Theatre at the top of O’Connell Street. Consequently on the Tuesday, I took the DART from Dalkey to Tara Street, walked along the south quays as far as Heuston Station, then crossed over the Liffey and followed the LUAS tracks back two stops to the Museum. It was free entry, but I donated €10, because the exhibition was beyond brilliant. Detailed, interactive, respectful and structured; it provided information on The Rising that would be accessible to both zealous patriot and curious on-looker alike.

While in Britain there has been much brouhaha and intemperate flag waving over the 100th anniversary of the Somme, which has unsurprisingly left me utterly cold for every reason imaginable, I was moved to tears by the stories of the gallant Irish volunteers who stood up to British Imperialism, serving neither King nor Kaiser but Ireland, in the almost certain knowledge that their bravery would result in death. Seeing up close the actual flags that flew over the GPO and Liberty Hall at Easter 1916 and the week after, left me humbled.


Leaving the museum after more than 2 hours, I walked the scruffy streets of north inner Dublin. Through Smithfield, up Capel Street, along Dorset Street, to the North Circular Road, in the shadow of Croke Park, along multi-ethnic, multi-cultural streets, where every nationality, creed and belief lived in peaceful co-existence, back down Amiens Street, along Talbot Street (where Ashley has a Sports Direct outlet planned) and onto O’Connell Street for the GPO, where their exhibition was dull beyond words, though it did not quench my ardent political passion, as here, for one glorious week, those brave men and women of 1916 showed the British what freedom and liberty was about. While the idiocy of the English and Welsh embraced Brexit, the Scottish will have no part in such a charade. Indeed, the place of the North is coming under intense scrutiny; frankly, it is time for the 6 counties to come home in a New Ireland, with a line drawn under the past and parity of esteem and parity of aspiration.

Sure, now as then, the grinding poverty of the failed Irish neo-liberal capitalist experiment was evident at every corner I passed in Dublin 1, but this is Ireland. And Ireland is the whole world. Not for Ireland an ugly undercurrent of conflict on the streets or Islamophobia in the media that signifies the ugly intolerance of England’s essence. In the only country where the citizens have voted for equal marriage rights, regardless of sexual orientation, the post Christian, post Nationalist, post Republican social attitudes show that the only solution for those in the North who voted to remain, is to join in a reconfigured 32 County federation under the auspices of the EU. To do that, De Valera’s grotesque Clericofascist constitution must be ripped up, with the 8th Amendment prohibiting abortion repealed instantly. Ignore the Diehards. Ignore the bonfire boys and Mad Arlene. A new tolerant, socially inclusive constitution needs to be written, in consultation with every citizen on the island of Ireland.

After all that philosophising, I strolled to the Liffey and met Declan on O’Connell Bridge, catching a bus to Seapoint Rugby Club where he coaches, took a couple of pints watching Dundalk put up a good show away to BATE Borisov, only losing 1-0, before grabbing a Joer, whose driver took the piss out of me about Brexit, up to The Druid’s Chair and a few fine craft ales, at about a quid a pint less than Dalkey prices.


Thursday, I took in the Sinn Fein organised 1916 commemoration at The Ambassador Theatre. It was dramatic I’ll grant you that, but lacking the curator’s eye of the Collins Barracks display. It was ideological rather than analytical; hysterical rather than historical. Also, it seemed a little bizarre to see a whole section in a 1916 memorial dedicated to the 1981 hunger strikers. As I heard a tour guide say to a couple of departing punters when I arrived, I wouldn’t claim to know a great deal about Irish history…. Me neither, but I can count up to 100. Anyway, never mind that; equilibrium was restored as I soon found myself in The Palace Bar, The International, The Porterhouse and The Stag’s Head, not to mention a rather nice Greek place on Dame Street. A Hull Tiger and a Celtic Tiger in the same place, at the same time…


All of which set me up nicely for a trip out to Maynooth to meet John and our long day’s journey into night for his 64th birthday. He loves driving, which is just as well as we found ourselves whizzing through Kildare, Meath, Cavan, Fermanagh, Monaghan, Armagh and Louth (in addition to Dublin, Westmeath, Longford, Roscommon, Galway, Sligo and Leitrim the previous week) as we toured the unapproved roads less travelled. Not only did I visit 14 counties this time, my debut visits to Cavan, Monaghan and Fermanagh now mean I’ve set foot in 31 of the 32 counties, with only the Healey Rae fiefdom of Kerry left to experience. Normally, a trip through the Irish countryside sees an array of Bed and Breakfast establishments on offer, with small hotels in the towns as well; there was none of that in Cavan, Monaghan or Armagh, though Fermanagh, more specifically Enniskillen, was geared up for fishing holidays. Elsewhere, the roads were deserted other than farming and other commercial traffic; tourists just don’t come to these parts.
You’ll no doubt notice that the drive included a crisscrossing of the “border;” frankly there is no discernible difference in landscape between Cavan and Fermanagh or Monaghan and Armagh. No red, white and blue kerbs or Orange Lodges, though we did see a disused Masonic Hall in Clones, Monaghan. Certainly brave, indomitable Crossmaglen, with its sombre memorials to fallen Republicans in the town square, gave no indication of ever paying allegiance to the House of Windsor. That said, we still felt a little nervous when the same car tailed us all the way to Castleblaney; old, paranoid habits die hard. New traditions need to be learned.


The main purpose of our tour was to take in Drogheda United v Cabinteely, though the first ground we saw that day was Gortakeegan, the currently disused home of the former Monaghan United. It looked in far better shape than the charmingly ramshackle United Park, which until recently had been called Hunky Dory’s Park. In the year of his death, this had nothing to do with David Bowie, but was the result of a sadly expired sponsorship deal between the Diamond Drogs and County Louth’s very own Tayto Crisps. Incidentally, Monaghan’s former home was Belgium Park, while Drogheda initially played at Lourdes Stadium; what brilliant, bonkers names for football grounds.


Drogheda harbour promotion play-off ambitions and are well-placed to achieve this modest target. Their star player and captain is Sean Thornton, a former international with Premier League experience at sunderland in both their 19 point and 15 point relegation seasons. It didn’t come off for him this game though; Cabo were as disciplined and organised as they were the week before and a frustrated Thornton was replaced on the hour. The game saw both teams employ a short, neat passing game, utterly without a cutting edge. Just as it seemed the only risk to a blank scoreline would be a moment of inspiration or insanity, Aaron Ashe swooped on a loose ball and drove it into the bottom corner; a decent enough finish. One goal was, predictably, enough and the 500 Drogs fans, complete with obligatory drummer, went wild at full time. The 11 Cabo stalwarts shrugged their shoulders and made for the car park; it is only a game after all.  If the League of Ireland does go to a single division of 16 clubs, let’s hope it’s passion and achievements on the pitch that count when handing out the membership. However, if it’s financial stability and a solid structure that are the requirements, Cabinteely are waiting quietly in the wings.


Full time, we headed back to Maynooth and made it into The New Town Inn for just past 11, where several pints of Kinsale Pale Ale were enjoyed, still without any evident gay subculture abroad, as well as a few back at the house. I managed to get up in time for sport on the Saturday though. I had been thinking of the 4B football qualifiers, where Cork were playing Donegal at Croke Park and where Cork were to blow a 5 point lead and lose 1-14 (17) to 0-21. The second game of the double header saw Mayo wallop Westmeath, but I decided I wouldn’t watch that either, as I knew at an elemental level that a summer Saturday must have some cricket involved.
Cricket, like many things in Ireland, isn’t governed in a way that seems either predictable or even logical to the interested outsider. Like rugby and boxing, the international cricket side is an island of Ireland construct. Recently the main issue bedevilling the game has been the withdrawal of their automatic place at the 20/20 World Cup. Considering the parlous state of Bangladesh, West Indies and even Sri Lanka as test playing nations, the intransigence of the ICC regarding Ireland seems not just stubborn but wrongheaded. Last year I’d enjoyed a trip to Malahide Cricket Club to see Holland defeat Ireland in the semi-finals of the 20/20 qualifying tournament, where a mightily impressive crowd had gathered, and so I was anxious to show my solidarity with the Irish Cricket Union with further visits to local cricket.

Similar to rugby and the GAA, cricket is played by provinces in Ireland; in cricket’s case, there are not 4 of them, but 5 provincial unions. Simple enough to understand is the province around Dublin, Leinster, where I was based. A quick search on-line lead me to a treasure trove of information; the glorious, encyclopaedic www.cricketleinster.ie which told me everything I needed to know. For a start, there are 47 clubs in Leinster, including 33 in Dublin City and County, who field a total of 128 open age sides in 16 divisions of 8, with one up and one down at the end of the season. Additionally there are 3 women’s divisions and a vast array of youth, involving boys and girls, leagues. Naturally, this being cricket, there are more cup competitions than clubs, or so it seems. Compared to GAA, soccer and rugby, cricket is the invisible participation sport of the capital and surrounding areas, where the sheer volume of those playing is both staggering and testament to the truly multi-racial, multi-ethnic and socially inclusive fabric of contemporary urban Irish society. Historically it has to be said that cricket was the game of the West Brit upper classes, but that state of affairs is changing rapidly, because of social mobility and the changing demographics of Ireland as a country.

Beyond The Pale, the situation is mixed; the Connacht Cricket Union was formed in 2011, the first new administrative region in 60 years, and runs a league with 8 teams, while Munster has 13 clubs playing in 3 divisions of 8, as well as extensive youth and women’s cricket competitions. Of course, this being Ireland, the waters have to be muddied somehow; Munster’s best team are Cork County, so they play in the Leinster leagues and Connacht’s best team are Galway County, who play in Munster. Even more confusing, there are 2 cricket unions in Ulster; thankfully the reasons for their existence are purely geographical. The Northern Cricket Union, involving Armagh, Antrim and Down oversees 50 clubs who field 137 teams, while the North West Cricket Union looks after Derry, Donegal, Fermanagh and Tyrone, with 23 clubs fielding 51 teams in 6 divisions. All in all, 28 counties play cricket, compared to 18 who play hurling. The 4 non-participants are Cavan and Monaghan in Ulster, as well as the hurling strongholds of Clare and Kilkenny, where they don’t even play GAA football. Surprising really, considering how hard those hurlers can hit the ball.

Now, if you know my obsessive nature, you’ll not be surprised to know I’m already planning my next sporting conquests for once I’ve ticked off Cobh Ramblers, Cork City and Limerick to complete the League of Ireland. Visits to Salthill, Thurles and Tullamore leave me with 29 GAA county grounds to collect; Croke Park doesn’t count as Dublin’s home in my book. Should I look to the pursuits of the plain people of Ireland rather than striking out for Garrison Games at Bagenalstown or Ballaghadereen cricket clubs? For the minute I’ll look to visit grounds close my regular bases of Dalkey and Maynooth, which is why I am so indebted to www.cricketleinster.ie  for the voluminous amount of information they provide. Certainly, I advise you to check out their history of the game in Ireland; fascinating doesn’t tell half the story.

Checking the fixtures, two games stood out for the last weekend in July; on the Saturday, the Leinster Senior Cup final was to be played at Clontarf Cricket Club. The hosts of the final are generally the holders; sadly Clontarf, whose top player is Ireland international Alex Cusack, had been eliminated. Instead the combatants were Leinster Cricket Club (as distinct from the Leinster Cricket Union, Senior Cup, League or interprovincial select side, just to clarify things), from Division 2 and YMCA from Division 1. These two opponents both crossed the city from the affluent southern suburbs, halfway towards the other stronghold of cricket in the north of County Dublin.


Comme d’habitude I arrived fashionably late via train and DART to encounter one side struggling at 58/3. Seeing two blazered gentlemen about to undertake the traditional laps of the ground, I inquired of them who was batting. The two fellows, who I subsequently discovered were former Cricket Ireland President Arthur Vincent and renowned Irish cricket podcaster and YMCA legend Heatley Tector, informed me it was Leinster and engaged me in very friendly conversation about this particular game, cricket as a whole, my affection for Tynemouth and Northumberland, the presence of Irish players at Durham, before joining me in excoriating the conditions that had caused the Brexit vote; O tempora! O mores! indeed. Their superb hospitality convinced me immediately that YMCA would be the side I wanted to win. Just like the North East Premier League, the welcome was friendly and genuine. What sport other than cricket offers such unconditional camaraderie?

Clontarf’s Castle Avenue is shared with the rugby club of the same name and is a lovely spot to watch a game; an attractive, expansive, tree-lined treasure that was blessed with a decent sized crowd. Certainly there were more present than at Drogheda United v Cabinteely. It made me certain in the belief that opting for this game, rather than Croker for Cork v Donegal or the AVIVA for Barcelona v Celtic was the correct choice. Amidst the bouffant hair, perfect teeth and obligatory swathes of Ralph Lauren, I could have been in Dalkey (or Gary Oliver’s wardrobe). However, there were also many Irish  of Asian descent  in attendance, not to mention literally dozens of teenagers and young women cricket fans and, in all probability, players; all well-spoken and none of them ever resorting to foul language in their ordinary conversation. It was civilised, it was heaven and I felt ever so humbled when the dad of Durham player Barry McCarthy came over and introduced himself.


Leinster made 225/8, of which the highlight was a fine 70 by George Dockerell, though the total is less impressive than it may seem as the LSC is a 60 over competition, which feels slightly too long to me. For YMCA, Simi Singh benefitted from rash strokes by the lower order to claim 5/57. Between innings, I had a coffee in the bar area and was surprised to see the levels of interest in the fag end of the Cork v Donegal game on RTE. There was a minor scare at the start of the YMCA reply when Fisher was out for 1, but superb, authoritative batting by Jack Tector (75), Simi Singh (66) and a fluent 58 not out by Sean Terry, son of Hampshire and England’s Paul, accompanied by 53 year old international rugby referee Alan Lewis on 13 not out, saw YMCA home by 7 wickets with 10 overs to spare.

I didn’t hang around for the presentation, as I was keen to beat the traffic from Croke Park and the AVIVA. I was unsuccessful in that hope, being squashed onto a DART from Lansdowne Road with 20k Barstoolers gushing about Messi and how Celtic are the biggest team in the world. I was glad to escape at Dalkey. Over 40,000 had seen Efe Ambrose score for Barca, though this game wasn’t the ultimate Barstooler experience; 4 years previous Man United beat a League of Ireland select 7-0 in front of 50k in the AVIVA, almost all of whom took the piss out of their own domestic players’ performances. Sickening. Just sickening and certainly not cricket.


Next morning, alert and refreshed, I headed for the 50 over interprovincial game between Leinster Lightning and Northern Knights at Leinster Cricket Club. Only 3 provincial unions are considered of a high enough standard to play in this and the sister 3 day tournament; Munster may be close, but it’ll be a cold day in hell before Connacht feature I’d imagine. Having opted for another long walk through the elegant Georgian terraces of Ranelagh and Rathmines, I arrived at the magnificently named Observatory Lane to see Northern Knights lose their 7th wicket for only 124. It seemed as if the game would be a short one, but perhaps a touch of complacency by the home side saw some less than stellar fielding, as well as a few lusty blows by Getkate, who scored 87 and was dropped 7 (seven!!) times, enabling Northern Knights to amass a more than respectable 246 all out.


Between innings, I did a couple of laps and recognised many in the significantly smaller crowd as having being present at Clontarf the previous day. Indeed Heatley Tector greeted me as a long lost friend he’d not seen in a decade or more. Observatory Lane is a nice ground; perhaps less scenic than Castle Avenue, but more atmospheric than Malahide. The Leinster reply wasn’t a fluent affair; wickets fell regularly, including Simi Singh for nought, but a dogged 85 not out by Sean Terry and a pugilistic cameo unbeaten half century by Lorcan Tucker saw them home by 4 wickets, winning the IP 50 competition in the process. Now I’ve dipped my toe into the pleasant waters of Irish cricket, I can’t wait for a full body immersion; presumably on a soft day at Ballaghadereen.


At the end of the game, I walked south east, back through Rathmines and Ranelagh to Sydney Parade DART station. Just as during my midweek wanderings in the scruffy north side, an epiphany occurred to me as I became aware of the tolerant, inclusive, multi-cultural nature of the privileged south side; Ireland really can show Britain how to be a civilised country. The words of the 1916 proclamation of Pearse and Connolly still ring true today; The Republic guarantees religious and civil liberty, equal rights and equal opportunities to all its citizens, and declares its resolve to pursue the happiness and prosperity of the whole nation and of all its parts, cherishing all of the children of the nation equally, and oblivious of the differences carefully fostered by an alien Government, which have divided a minority from the majority in the past. Surely it is time to move forward in history and in Europe as a beacon of civilisation in an increasingly hateful world.

Still dreaming of a potentially radiant future, I met a disconsolate Declan on board the train. He’d been to Croker watching Galway in the football quarter finals. While Kerry had eased past Clare, Tipperary had thumped Galway; their first win over the Tribesmen in 114 years. I didn’t know what to say to comfort him. The last two quarter finals will be Dublin (Leinster champions) v Donegal and Mayo v Tyrone (Ulster champions). The winners of the first game will play Kerry and the winners of the second will face Tipperary in the semi-finals. It’s all getting exciting, unless you’re for Cork, Galway or Roscommon.

As we passed by Dun Laoghaire, an open air music festival of a distinctly funky hue was taking place. Lee “Scratch” Perry had been on earlier, while Rick James was performing at that point. Top of the bill was George Clinton; I almost went in to check if he’d renamed the band Dail Eireann for the occasion, but there was an early flight to be caught, so we headed back to Dalkey in the twilight, ready to watch The Sunday Game, which is one of my new traditions. Only 50 weeks until I return home, where I'll still observe the old traditions as well...







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