Monday, 9 November 2015

Too Many Chiefs

The clocks may have gone back the weekend before, but the transition from October to November always seems to psychologically mark the end of autumn and the onset of winter, regardless of the weather. It was particularly noticeable this year because of the dates falling over a weekend.  Friday 30th saw the continuation of West Allotment Celtic’s fine upturn in form as they completed a double in the space of 6 days over North Shields, in front of 338. Not a bad crowd, but dwarfed by the 844 who made their way to Heritage Park for the FA Vase game between Bishop Auckland and South Shields. The reborn Mariners triumphed 2-1 and their large fan base appears to be making friends wherever they go. Fair play to them; they deserve it, after the years of strife and grumbles that have gone before.

Personally, I made neither game; my allegiance to the League of Ireland kept me in front of the computer, watching RTE’s coverage of Limerick’s 3-2 win away at Sligo Rovers. This result for Stab City XI, in conjunction with the 5-3 defeat of Drogheda United at the Halting Site versus the Tallaght Corinthians, ensured it was the Diamond Drogs from Hunky Dory who made the definite drop into Division 1, no doubt precipitating a severe financial crisis that will see the club teetering on the brink of oblivion. Meanwhile Stab City’s win saw them scrape second bottom place and a play-off with Finn Harps, who overcame UCD for a shot at the big time. A week later, Finn Harps completed a 2-1 aggregate game and Dundalk overcame Cork City, the only Premier League I’ve yet to visit, after extra time to complete a domestic double. So it looks like that in 2016 I’m on that Shels bus to Cobh, Drogheda and Limerick; we’ll take the DART to Cabo, if the L of I are still paying their subs.

Saturday morning was as glorious as the week before had been wet. Winstons’ home game against Wingate Cons (Convicts? Conservatives? Same thing really) had been called off the day before, allowing my trip to Atherton Collieries with Benfield to take place with a clear conscience. We assembled at Sam Smith’s for a 9.00 departure, which became 9.15; the players and a grand total of 3 supporters. We had further pick-ups at Washington, Rushyford and Brighouse, before a thirty-minute refreshment break at Hartshead Services.  The 20 of us clambered down to get coffees (committee) and eat KFC while losing money on poker machines (players), observing the presence of a dozen coaches of Norwich City fans en route to Man City. It wasn’t a scene from Green Street to be honest, nor was it when Whitley Bay, heading for their Vase game against Manchester Northwich Villa at Irlam, arrived. Two coaches from the coast; one of players and committee and the other of supporters, putting us to shame, especially as they left before us to continue their journey, while our team were still breaking the bank at Monte Carlo.



Eventually back underway, we arrived at Atherton, which is in Wigan but is really Bolton, about 1.45. The home committee had naively expected about 100 Benfield supporters, which was a little optimistic to say the least, though the number of fans swelled to 6 with the arrival of the suspended Steven Tobin, his dad and brother. Atherton Collieries are a lovely, genuine, welcoming football club. They graft off and on the pitch, which is muddy and on a slope like Tow Law’s. Frankly they deserved their 2-0 win and a home tie against the side that put us out last year, Chadderton.



Sadly, at full time Benfield manager Steve Bowey tendered his resignation, as he felt he’d gone as far as he could with the club. It was truly humbling to see how upset he was by the outcome and I wish him well for the future. There we all stood; 5th bottom of the league, out of every cup before the end of October and three hours from home. Nowt for it but to get drunk; we imbibed in the clubhouse and got ourselves a large carry out from ASDA to get us home. About 9.30 I tumbled off the bus, half plastered, scrounged a lift home and fell asleep on the sofa during Match of the Day; apart from the game, it had been a blinding trip.

After the emotionally wrought events of Saturday, Sunday 1st November saw me experience a whole new ball game; a trip to Kingston Park to see Newcastle Falcons versus Exeter Chiefs. Having managed to acquire free tickets for Newcastle Thunder versus Barrow Raiders and then the Magic Weekend at SJP, I’d seen a couple of games of Rugby League in 2015. Somehow because of this, I’d ended up on some database which sends me weekly emails from the RFU; back in September I’d noticed an initiative whereby, if you’d never seen Rugby Union before, you could apply for a pair of tickets to a number of games. I’d fancied Saracens v Northampton, but since I’d have to pay for my own travel, I thought it best to stay local. Obviously as I’ve been to some form of rugby before, I didn’t register my interest under my own name, but Laura’s. The alarm on her face when she thought she’d have to go and watch a sport she despises was priceless; instead I took my mate Jamie, on the basis he could drive me there.

If Halloween in Atherton had been pleasant, climactically at least, the Day of the Dead in NE13 was positively tropical, though I did recall that a year before, to the actual date, Benfield’s 3-0 win over West Auckland had been played on an afternoon so warm that mosquitos were discernible in Walkergate.  So much for global cooling; especially as Kingston Park’s micro climate has most often been compared to a Post-Apocalyptic Nuclear Winter.

Strolling in shirt sleeves on a baking lunchtime towards the ground, it seemed clear there were more heading to watch than NUFC Reserves, Blue Star and the Thunder could ever hope for combined, though the only time I’ve seen the place sell out was when Steve Wraith arranged a charity game between the 1996 NUFC and Liverpool teams, to replay the famous 4-3. It wasn’t as close as that scoreline when they repeated it; possibly because Steve replaced Pav in goal in the second half…

Anyway, into the stadium we went; no turnstiles, no searches, just a smiling steward ushering us in. If football is the working man’s game and rugby league is the long term claimant’s game, then rugby union’s demographic is surely hewn from the base metal of  Telegraph-reading, Tory-voting, Top Gear-watching, NE3-dwelling, public school and Russell Group educated, professionally-employed, bourgeois, class-enemies who will be first up against the wall when the glorious day comes. Well, not really; admittedly this well-heeled Ralph Lauren, Blue Harbour and Gant attired agglomeration would be more likely to trade stocks and shares than take out a Provy or hide under the table when the rent man came knocking, but it wasn’t wall-to-wall Nigel Farage body doubles either.



It’s undeniable that rugby union is middle class in our region; that may not be the case in Wales, Limerick or Cornwall, but it is up here. There were plenty students, plenty middle aged professional types and plenty of the Ponteland and Darrass Hall female horsey set; and their beverages of choice were telling. Blokes on the real ale (hand-pulled beer in a major sporting event; how I regretted my desperate hangover) and women on wine (and not a bubble-gum Rose by the pint either). The food was better too; hog roast baguettes and steak sandwiches rather than pies, several types of filter coffee instead of Bovril. All very civilised and pleasant. Not the sort of thing football fans would be allowed to enjoy. Then again, the rugby league crowd at Magic Weekend were getting it down their necks like the cast of Shameless on a freebie to the Munich Beer Festival and there was no serious mither then. It really does disgust me how we football fans are the most regulated, legislated and repressed sport supporters in the country. Debate rages as to whether fans at Northern League games ought to be allowed a pint while watching the game.



So, what about the rugger? Well, our boys took a hell of a beating. After going 3-0 up in the first couple of minutes from a penalty, given for something I didn’t understand (this was the case for much of the game for me, despite Jamie’s knowledgeable insights), the Falcons were then blown away by an Exeter side who seemed to view push-over tries as the highest form of sporting excellence, though the first try was courtesy of a charged down kick from a Falcons player. Five tries, none of them eye-catching, and three conversions, left the half time score 3-31. Interestingly though, none of the 5,196 crowd seemed keen on booing the team or the officials off; rugby union still contains vestiges of the “best team won” philosophy that went out of English football, either after George Eastham won his case or the Scotch invasion of Lancashire in the 1880s heralded the dawn of professionalism.

If the first half was depressingly one-sided, the second period was one of the dullest sporting events I’ve ever attended and I had a season ticket at SJP in 1990/1991 remember. Exeter soaked up 30-odd minutes of ineffective, impotent Falcons pressure, too often disfigured by poor handling and bad decision making, before easing to another converted pushover try and a last second penalty to win the game 41-3. The spectacle was interrupted by 16 replacements (8 for each side), which destroyed the fluency in the way mass substitutions do in international football friendlies. Sure there were grumbles and moans, especially by the RP-accented fellow in russet corduroys the row in front, who did 3 pints in each half, but the crowd were fairly philosophical about the loss, as it was expected. I enjoyed it on a freebie, but I can’t see any way I would pay to watch The Falcons again. I might be tempted by local rugby though; Blaydon? Tynedale? Percy Park? We shall see…

The Falcons have lost all 4 games so far, but so have London Irish. Only one team goes down from the Premiership and only then if they lose a play-off against the lower league champions, who have to pass a series of stringent financial tests before they can even take part in the play-off. Finishing one place above the drop zone will be as much a cause for rejoicing in Kingston Park as emulating such a finishing position will be at SJP.


Ashley OUT! Richards OUT! Come on Gos!

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