It’s fair to say I like football, especially the grassroots
version. During season 2014/2015, I saw a game every single Saturday from July
5th, a pre-season friendly between my club Newcastle Benfield and
Annan Athletic, all the way through to June 6th; that’s 49
successive weeks. Of course, keen students of UEFA regulations will note that
all domestic leagues that define themselves as winter competitions and are part
of Platini’s protectorate must finish their domestic programme by the end of
May, though they can finish considerably sooner. For instance, Benfield kicked
their final ball on April 25th and the lowest level of organised
senior football in my region, the Tyneside Amateur League, of which I am proud
to call myself Chair, wrapped things up with a 1-1 draw between Gosforth
Bohemians Reserves and Hazlerigg Victory on May 20th. While national sides have always played games
in June, it was something of a surprise to see the Champions’ League final
played on June 6th, as UEFA regulations had previously expressly
prohibited club football in the sixth month.
Of course, it isn’t compulsory to be a part of UEFA. Indeed,
a certain stratum of Scottish sporting culture has long led the way by having
nothing to do with FIFA and their meddling, as running parallel to the senior
game in Scotland, is a national (though regionalised) competition that includes
161 clubs, playing at a wildly varied standard in front of wildly varying crowds in wildly varying stadia. I give you,
the Scottish Junior Football Association.
Straightaway the title of the organisation may lead some to
assume it is a youth league. However the term "Junior" does not
relate to the age of players. Football for youngsters is generally known as
"Youth" or "Juvenile.” In the late 19th century, membership of
the Scottish FA conferred "Senior" status on league clubs who were
exclusively professional and the Junior grade developed separate to the SFA framework,
with part-time players. If you think the term Junior is illogical, think about
our phrase “non-league,” which is plainly daft as every team play in a league. Today,
Senior football in Scotland is played in the Scottish Professional Football
League, as well as the four potential feeder leagues, the Highland Football
League, the Lowland Football League, the East of Scotland Football League and
the South of Scotland Football League, of which only the first provides a
standard of football demonstrably above parks level. Over time, Scottish
football developed its current pattern with either Junior or Senior non-leagues
taking precedence in various parts of the country. Confusingly, there is also
Scottish Amateur Football Association, but we’ll not even go there, as this
article is about the Juniors who, being outside UEFA jurisdiction, unilaterally
state their season must finish by “2pm on the third Saturday in June,
regardless of the date,” as this is when the Juniors have their AGM.
As a result, I found myself in Memorial Park on the
outskirts of Glenrothes in Fife on June 6th, with approximately 200 other
weirdos, oddballs and social inadequates from the groundhopping fraternity,
watching Thornton Hibs claim the McBookie East of Scotland North Division, with
a 4-0 hammering of Lochee Harp from Dundee. Despite the obvious Irish roots of
both teams, there was not a hint of sectarianism at the game; in my experience
football, like much else, in the east of Scotland is considerably more relaxed
and less intense than in the West. There may have been another game on that
date between Barca and Juve, but as far as I was concerned, this was Europe’s
premier club contest and a fitting climax to the 2014/2015 season. It was also
the 12th different Juniors ground (9 in the West region and 3 in the
East) I’d set foot on since my inaugural trip to see Pollok 1 Arthurlie 2 in
February 2003, so I’ve a long way to go to complete my set. Unlike my mate
Mick, who got me interested in the Juniors on one of my regular trips north of
the border. Mick moved from Ashington, first to Cowdenbeath in 1997 and then to
Paisley, home of St Mirren, in 2001. He tried season tickets at both his local
sides, which enabled him to complete all 42 Scottish league grounds. This done,
he embarked on a never-ending tour of the West and East Juniors, both of which
he’s now completed. The Sunday Post
now employs him and another bloke who lives in Paisley, but comes from
Newbiggin, to do match reports from the Juniors.
In the North region, which covers the Grampian and Moray
areas and where the Junior game is at its weakest on account of the strength of
the Highland League, 37 clubs play in one of the Super League or the
geographically split West and East divisions. Up there, other than around
Aberdeen, games tend to be played on glorified park pitches. The Scottish
Junior Cup, which has been contested since 1886, has only twice been won by
clubs in the current North region; the last being Banks O’Dee in 1957. Even
Mick hasn’t bothered investigating the North region. Yet. Moving further south,
stretching from Montrose to Dunbar, is the East region, where 61 clubs play in
4 divisions; the East Super League, the East Premier League, the East North
division and the East South division.
Here, the powerhouses of the game are found in the East and West Lothian
regions; these include Linlithgow Rose, whose Prestonfield ground is a glorious
arena, their hated local rivals Bo’ness United, Musselburgh Athletic, who lost
in the final of this year’s Junior Cup which was played at Kilmarnock’s Rugby
Park, as well as near neighbours, the twin Thistles of Armadale and Bathgate
Thistle, who play at the magnificently named Volunteer Park and Creamery Park,
which I’ve visited twice. The East region has competition from the Seniors, in
the shape of the ostensibly higher standard East of Scotland League, which is strong
in the Borders, but weaker elsewhere. It does have some magnificently named
members though, in the shape of Civil Service Strollers and Burntisland
Shipyard. Without question, East region facilities and playing standards are
higher in the Juniors than the Seniors from
all I’ve seen and read.
However, the real jewel in the Juniors’ crown is the West
region, incorporating the strongest teams at this level who are drawn primarily
from the former Ayrshire coalfield. The top four teams in the West Premier were
all from this area; Auchinleck Talbot, Hurlford, Irvine Meadow XI and Glenafton
Athletic. Auchinleck Talbot hold all the bragging rights this season; winners
of the West league, Ayrshire Cup and Scottish Juniors Cup, while their loathed
local rivals Cumnock (games between the two can attract crowds of 3,000; as
many as Ross County or St Mirren get!) were relegated. There are 63 clubs in 5 divisions;
a Premier and First Division, two Central Divisions and an Ayrshire League. The
main Glasgow clubs are Pollok and Arthurlie, who also attract crowds in four
figures to their well-appointed Dunterlie Park and Newlandsfield grounds. The
grounds are bigger and better; some even have floodlights. The award for best
named ground must go to Larkhall Thistle, who call Gasworks Park their home.
The one geographical anomaly are Kelloe Rovers from Kirkconnell in
Dumfriesshire, who are the only Junior side in an area dominated by the frankly
dire South of Scotland League. If you’re intending to go to Kirkconnell, as I
did for a 4-1 loss to Yoker Athletic on June 8th 2013, take a packed
lunch; there are no shops in the village. In fact, there isn’t anything other
than the football club, whose social club is a portakabin called The Rovers’ Return.
So, as we’ve established, the fact the campaign ends in a
flurry of Cup finals in early to mid-June (I didn’t bother on June 13th,
as the three games were at grounds I’d already visited) gives you an excuse for
a late season football fix. Mind, as well as having the authentic Scottish
summer experience of bathing in pale sunshine while being devoured by midges, I’ve
also shivered on Caledonian terraces in the winter. You see I don’t just love
Scottish football, I am a passionate devotee of Scottish indie music and home
town gigs by the likes of Teenage Fanclub, The Pastels or Belle & Sebastian
make ideal excuses for a weekend away, especially when combined with a Junior
game. At the end of May, a trip to see Ride at Barrowlands on the Friday was embellished
by a Saturday trip to Irvine Meadow XI v Arthurlie in a West of Scotland Cup
semi-final (each Juniors club plays in a minimum of 4 cup competitions each
season). Cup ties are something else. While games in the West kick off at 2.00
and in the East at 2.30, when there’s a cross regional cup draw, games start at
2.15; that’s what I call a proper compromise. Also, if the game is drawn after
90 minutes, it goes straight to penalties.
Irvine is not a scenic spot on the whole; blighted by
unemployment, social deprivation and rampant sectarianism (the world’s first
Orange Lodge is a few miles down the road in Kilwinning), it does boast the
atmospheric Meadow Park. Having lunched on Scotch pie and Irn Bru, I took my
spot on the terrace next to the man with the worst case of Tourette’s in
Ayrshire. The fact Irvine went into a quick 2-0 lead didn’t satisfy him; he
berated his team in the strongest manner possible. There is something so
stylish about Scottish cursing don’t you think? He gave his vocabulary free
rein all afternoon, especially when Arthurlie came back to 2-2, courtesy of a
horrific keeper error and a last minute equaliser. The script was written;
Arthurlie were 6-5 up when a home player thundered his kick against the top of
the bar. Mr Sweary responded to this misfortune less than stoically, with an
impassioned bellow of “YOU F*****G NODDY,” as the unfortunate lad slumped to
his knees. That image and that sound are, in a nutshell, why I’ll keep going
back to obscure, bleak corners of Scotland to watch games of questionable
quality at ramshackle grounds for many years to come.
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