Sunday 11th May and, as the curtain is rung down
on the atrociously unsatisfactory second act that concluded the genre-busting
tragifarce of Newcastle United’s 2013/2014 season, I found myself in a
predictable, boiling impotent rage at the fortunes of my sporting heroes.
However, the cause of my ire on this occasion was not, for a change, related to
Newcastle United but the Northumberland County Cricket team. In an attempt to
display two metaphorical fingers to the farce that will be Brazil 2014, other
than hoping social unrest in that country will see mass working class action
against the forces of repression and the imperialist juggernaut that is FIFA,
causing the tournament to be abandoned, I’d bought membership for the Minor
Counties East championship. Thirty quid gets you free entry to, theoretically
at any rate, three home fixtures at Tynemouth, South North and County Club and
a pair of preliminary one-dayers, also at Jesmond.
Unfortunately, torrential rain saw the cancellation of both
limited overs contests, at the end of April against Cheshire and, on the day
Newcastle closed their campaign, when Shropshire were the visitors. Thus, as
the drains and gutters of Osborne Avenue struggled to cope with the torrential
downpour that drove the opposition players into William Hill’s on the
corner of Shortridge Terrace rather than into bat, I seethed underneath a tree
opposite Rehill’s, gripping a take-out Latte rather too tightly, and allowed my
thoughts to turn to events taking place at Anfield.
A few weeks previously, it had all the hallmarks of a
tumultuous contest, with the prospect of Liverpool winning the title against
us. In those circumstances it was hard to deny the logic of several of those
amongst our support who’d contemplated selling their tickets to Liverpool fans
for a massive profit. Unethical though that may have been, the chance to claw
back some of the huge outlay spent on following NUFC on the road must have been
appealing, especially if you got caught fleecing a gullible out-of-towner and
suffered a banning order from SJP as a consequence. In the current climate,
that’s a win-win situation I’d have thought. However events beforehand
conspired against this, as Liverpool imploded and handed the title to Massive
Club citeh, which I didn’t mind as I love Pellagra’s hair.
Despite denying Sky Sports the opportunity to refer
to the game as Destiny Teatime or something equally nauseating, what this
fixture did was hand Newcastle fans the opportunity to rub Liverpool’s face in
it, as memories of 1974 never mind the consecutive 4-3s are still too raw to
suggest there can ever be any realistic common ground between us and them.
However when some of those on social media suggested a mass “Poznan” in the
away end to try and wind the home fans up, I recoiled in horror. How appalling
would that look; how doomed to failure would such a proposal be, similar to the
stillborn Toon Poznan against Ashley that was promised, but failed to
happen against Arsenal in August 2011. Even though someone set up a Twitter
account and a Facebook page for that protest, the TPAA had about as much
impact as NUST’s disastrous intervention into the Cardiff protest with their ill-judged
hijack of a genuine, spontaneous, organic, grassroots campaign, in favour of
their proto-Leninist, dirigistic 69 minute walkout, whose autodidactic
provenance was ignored by the overwhelming majority of the crowd who either
left earlier or stayed to the end. The only statistic that matters is that
46,000 matchgoing Mags stayed in their seats beyond 69 minutes; we need to
remember that when discussions about fan unity are in the air.
In the event, no “Poznan” took place at Anfield and the game
acted as a synecdoche of our season. At encouraging opening was supplanted by a
pitiful collapse in the second period, though a measure of solace could be
gained by frustration at an appalling refereeing performance by Phil Dowd. He
may have given Titus Bramble first use of the Lynx Peace in the 5-1 on
Halloween, but he made up for it by sending Shola off for insolence, in what
has turned out to be his final appearance for us, and Dummett, who appears to
have become as much of a hate figure as Ashley for the sort of late 30s supporter
who says he takes “the Metty” home after the game, for nothing. Thankfully the
latter card was rightly rescinded, meaning the overwhelming analytical mood
surrounding this game, once the immediate sense of rage at the incompetence of
both Pards and Dowd had died down, was one of profound dissatisfaction, with
the grudging acceptance that catastrophe had somehow been avoided, with Stoke’s
winner at West Brom dropping NUFC to tenth which was the bare minimum required
for Pards to pocket his much derided bonus. Such an attitude must also be the
judgement handed down to the club as a corporate entity and, in my opinion,
NUST, with the unequivocal announcement that everyone must do better in the
future if a complete meltdown is to be avoided.
I don’t believe for one moment that the Newcastle United
Fans Forum will prove to be a revolutionary conduit leading to regime change at
the club, especially as NUST’s avoidable breach of protocol resulted in their
heavy-handed exclusion from the Forum. I do accept that my standpoint that we
need Ashley OUT and 100% Fan Ownership IN, though I’m prepared to accept 51%
Fan Ownership as a transitional demand, will not be brought to fruition at one
of these talking shops. However, I’m as much of a pragmatist as I am an ideologue
and I understand the need for the Fan Forum to continue and I place my
unswerving loyalty and trust in NUFC Fans United and all of the other
representatives who attend these meetings, undoubtedly displaying the very best
of intentions.
That said; I do not accept the Fans Forum is the appropriate
realm for the club’s chief executive to announce with bland finality that the
cups will be treated with utter contempt in 2014/2015 and that Pards will
remain in post, having achieved the bare minimum required to achieve his agreed
bonus. Charnley blithely brushed off any criticism about any perceived lack of
ambition among the club hierarchy regarding future plans and transfer targets,
in much the same way as NUST ignored any criticism of their 69 minute walkout
and the offence it caused so many fans.
Frankly, and I hold little hope of this happening, both NUFC
and NUST’s board need to take time this summer to have a long, hard look at
themselves. While Ashley, Charnley and Irving have a far longer to do list,
from spending £40m on the team to merely stand still (Dan Gosling RIP) to
having some vague awareness that their dismissive, smirking contempt for the
fan base will eventually clear the stands of SJP, it is true that NUST need to
meaningfully engage with their members and the wider support on a regular
basis, as ignoring the need to grow the organisation will result in atrophy and
death. Surely all involved must realise this and accept that positive change
and activity is an absolute imperative.
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