A club to be proud of?

Newcastle United; if they didn’t exist, would anyone give them credence if we made them up? In a week where the latest interminable Leeds United takeover saga reached a hitherto unimagined level of farce as they went through 4 managers in less than a day, only to end up with the same bloke back in the dugout (for now), with the added bonus of a winding up order for unpaid debts to their shirt manufacturers on the doormat,  while the cousins of King William at Tynecastle managed to stagger into the realm of positive points for the first time this season, only to follow this up by losing on penalties to 9 man Inverness Caley in the Scottish League Cup semi-final, Newcastle United still managed to trump them both in terms of on and off pitch public relations disasters.

Following a routine away win against the loathed Sam Allardyce’s West Ham, the team made the most of their non-participation in this season’s FA Cup, by flying off to Dubai for some mid-season R&R, with rumours of two imminent French midfield signings to strengthen the squad heavy in the air.  Predictably for The Magpies, the brightest hour is the one before the long dark night of the soul and the season disintegrated rapidly, spectacularly and predictably in less than a week. Firstly, club captain and most valuable player Yohan Cabaye, tired of the breathless race for 8^th spot in the table,  was peddled to Paris Saint Germain when the magic figure of £20m was offered; this was of no surprise to the Magpie faithful as alleged manager / Ashley’s errand boy Alan “Pards” Pardew had admitted in a press conference he was powerless to stop the player, who must have established some kind of record by scoring the third at Upton Park with his final touch of the ball as an NUFC employee, going back home if either Cabaye or Ashley decreed this to be the case.  At what other club would an alleged manager be happy enough to put themselves up for public ridicule by explicitly announcing their utter lack of authority? Cabaye’s sale was inexplicable in playing terms, with only kneejerk apologists for the despised Ashley regime able to find any presumed reason for suggesting that it made economic sense as, following the collapse of the Remy Cabella deal and Clement Grenier ruling himself out of a move to Tyneside, the money would simply be banked by Ashley as Newcastle United remain £55m in the black on transfer dealings in the past 3 years. Sadly, that’s not even a scarcely credible statistic any longer; it’s a depressingly predictable one.

One player did come in to the squad; Dutch striker Luuk de Jong on loan (of course) from Borussia Monchoengladbach arrived, but as it appears Papiss Cisse is in the departure lounge for all points east of Moscow, that doesn’t strengthen the team one scintilla. Typically, the one striker who has looked remotely dangerous for NUFC this season, Loic Remy, received a red card and three game ban for a spot of needless pushing and shoving in a 0-0 at Norwich, that took place while business was concluded on Tyneside to ensure Cabaye left and de Jong arrived. Rather tellingly, the only pieces of transfer activity engaged in by Newcastle United during the transfer window, bar the return of Magpie legend Dan Gosling from Blackpool after his loan spell ended, occurred while the manager was over 200 miles away from the club. I wonder who made the teas and coffees, or got sent out for sandwiches and trips to the bookies in that instance.

No Cabaye, no Remy, no Coloccini (still injured) and further irrevocable proof that “Pards” has no authority at the club meant the preparations for the Mackem derby game on Saturday 1^st February seemed as needlessly chaotic as ever. Having spent the previous 4 months expecting Newcastle United to routinely extract adequate revenge over the Mackems for the previous two derby defeats, it dolefully occurred to me late last week that what was actually preordained was another humiliation at the hands of our great rivals. 

On the Friday night, I predicted a 2-0 away win with Adam Johnson the difference between the sides. The basis for my belief in such an eventuality was partly an assessment of the spirit in the relative camps and partly on the quality of the respective managers; I don’t like Poyet (mind I don’t like “Pards” either), but I recognise that the Mackem boss deserves the Manager of the Year title if he keeps them up and wins the League Cup. It didn’t take a genius to work out Poyet would set his side up to easily defeat the risible double Ameobi selection and aimless hoofball tactics of the utterly discredited “Pards.” So it proved; a second successive 3-0 away win must arguably act as payback for the 4-1 with Luque scoring and 5-1 on Halloween. We’ve now gone 5 games since Ryan Taylor put it over the wall.

I hate being right about the wrong things, but if it is of any consolation, it proves the veracity of my mantra that whoever plays for or manages Newcastle United and where the team finishes in the league remains utterly irrelevant under the current regime. Calls for Michael Laudrup to replace “Pards” are painfully naïve as the appointment of another manager would be a pointless gesture that would deflect from the current imperative. The truth is this; we need Ashley OUT and 100% Fan Ownership IN, though I’m prepared to accept 51% Fan Ownership as a transitional demand.

Undoubtedly, this latest derby humiliation will mean tipping point has been reached for a sizeable proportion of the crowd and of those who remain, anyone trotting out the lame cliché that they will continue “support the team not the regime” by stumping up for season tickets that are more expensive than 19 individual match day purchases, will be increasingly, and justifiably, seen as Wonga clad Lord Haw Haws. However, in response to all those who have fired off letters cancelling their direct debits for current and future season tickets, I could point out they are 5 years too late as I walked away, with mixed feelings that endure to this day, in 2009.  Meanwhile, I’ve recently purchased tickets for the Villa home game on Sunday February 23^rd, which will be only my second, and probably final, league game of the season.

Amazingly, the Monday after the Mackem debacle saw Joe Kinnear relinquish his handsomely rewarded sinecure as Director of Football at Newcastle United after 8 months in which he achieved the sum total of the square root of jack shit. Let’s not delude ourselves, he has not been sacked, left after any fall out with Ashley or on a point of principle; he leaves with knowledge the “owner” sees JFK’s risible tenure as an unqualified, rip-roaring success as, in his mythical role, Kinnear oversaw two transfer windows where Newcastle United spent not one penny on permanent signings. Kinnear effectively carried out the role of Ashley’s human shield and pantomime villain while “Pards” did exactly what he was told. Rumours include “Pards” accepting Ashley’s instruction he will only be allowed to sign French players, as Ashley wishes to grow the Sports Direct Empire in France, by confronting their home-grown cheap clobber chain La Redoute in a head on price war.

So where does this leave fans of Newcastle United? Some, whose previous attitude to Cabaye (not to mention several other French players) was scornful, contemptuous and bordering on the vindictive in my opinion, will continue to bawl like denizens of Kiev in front of the news cameras and display staged, opportunistic opposition to Ashley, which is possibly based either on their unblinking loyalty to the legendary hospitality of former chief executive Derek Llambias, or a need to develop a niche as the permanent voice of Magpie miserabilism. Perhaps a day’s work experience at Darsley Park will see them back on message; who knows? Others are calling for the establishment of a new club; a kind of FCUM based on Tyneside, which is a suggestion I find myself in clear opposition to, for a number of reasons.

Personally, I’ve never had the pleasure of seeing FCUM play; I’ve wanted to and may a promise to myself that I’d rectify this shortcoming at some point in 2013/2014, but gaps in Heaton Stannington’s fixture list have not coincided with FC United of Manchester home games at Bury’s Gigg Lane. I wouldn’t mind seeing them up here, against Blyth for instance, though I’d certainly not be supporting them against Spartans, who I regard as the historic jewel in the North East non-league crown. One day soon, I will get to see FCUM live I promise. To be perfectly frank, I don’t know enough of the non-league demographics of Manchester to comment on how their existence has impinged on clubs like Droylesden, Flixton, Maine Road or Trafford Borough, but it appears that FCUM certainly have found a niche, amassed a great and vibrant great support and managed to produce in A Fine Lung and Under the Boardwalk, two of the finest fanzines imaginable.

Unquestioningly, I like and respect FC United of Manchester, but equally certainly, I don’t see any possible scope for a similar club, perhaps called FCUN, taking shape on Tyneside for several reasons. Firstly, the size of support; Manchester United’s fanbase dwarfs almost every other English club and there simply aren’t enough of us following NUFC to make a breakaway club feasible or even sustainable beyond a Step 7 level in my opinion. Secondly, the level of organisation; FCUM’s chief executive Andy Walsh is another in the long line of charismatic, one time Shachtmanites who found a role in football administration after the Militant split. His expertise and those involved in the formation of FCUM had cut their sporting teeth when involved in IMUSA, who displayed a level of collaborative opposition to the Glazer regime, and the Edwards dynasty for decades previous, that our support can only dream of, gave FCUM a head start in the bureaucratic part of the meritocracy that is their club. Thirdly, and most importantly in my eyes, we’ve got a wonderful history of non-league football on Tyneside, with the second oldest competition in the world, the Northern League, more than adequately represented by Newcastle based clubs.  My beloved Heaton Stannington, currently 5^th in Division 2 of the Northern League, are the fourth most senior club in Newcastle. I see no contradiction inherent in following Heaton Stannington, while fighting passionately to ensure the future of Newcastle United.

On Saturday 1^st February, the real Tyne Wear derby saw Wallsend Winstons defeat Ryhope Cricket Club 6-1 in the quarter finals of the Billy Lorraine Cup in the North East over 40s League. Appearing as a second half substitute with us 4-1 up, I was pleased to keep a clean sheet, before taking in a game. The interminable rain of the previous few days meant Heaton Stannington’s away game against Stokesley was called off around 10.00. I had been offered a ticket for SJP, but it was completely off the agenda as far as I was concerned, as I was heading for my back up plan; Newcastle’s second most senior team, Benfield away to Consett in the Northern League first division.

Travelling by bus, I spent some time traversing town while the derby to be proud of was unfolding; Borini gave them the lead when I stepped off the 38 on John Dobson Street and I climbed aboard the 46 outside the Central Station as Johnson doubled their advantage. Town was disturbingly quiet; as it must have been during World War I, the streets were almost denuded of able bodied men between 20 and 50. The bus, other than the driver and an old punk in a too-tight Buzzcocks t-shirt, was entirely populated by women who had been or were going shopping. The Metro Centre interchange saw an exchange of consumerists, including the baffling sight of an elderly lady in a Newcastle United scarf and overcoat, clutching two bulging Sports Direct bags; during a game. Against sunderland. Some things just confuse and bemuse me beyond all reason.

As it became more obvious that Newcastle United could find no way back against Poyet’s team of quiet, sincere grafters on the pitch and would have to cede local bragging rights to the intelligent, reasonable, articulate lads showing discipline, discretion and good judgement off it, who represented sunderland, I averted my eyes from twitter updates on my phone and took in the charming, inviting scenery of the Derwent Way. I really have no idea where I was when either the third went in or NUFC legend Mobido Maiga ironically equalised on his debut for QPR.

As we climbed through Rowlands Gill and Ebchester, the day remained bright as the wind stiffened appreciably. This was the terrain to walk your Labrador; these were the delightful gastropubs to drink Prosecco with friends. The stunning views across bare fields afforded by huge, cheap houses in Hamsterley Mill; this is the middle of nowhere, but humanity endures and thrives.  People running, cycling, walking or visiting garden centres; a narrative of life that saw no relevance in events at SJP that failed to disturb the satisfaction and serenity of those enjoying a leisurely, if chilly, Saturday afternoon. Perhaps this is how it will be in the future for many more people, if Ashley remains, but such a way of life is not for me; football, and by that I mean non-league football, will be my Saturday until I die. This I know to be true. Shotley Bridge, where my maternal grandfather, a Newcastle United season ticket holder back when such people could be numbered in the hundreds, who stowed a bottle half of cold liver oil and half of whiskey in his hip pocket, to enable his consequently lubricated voice to better barrack officials and opponents, died in 1967, was the last stop before Consett, which isn’t quite as bucolic as the settlements that preceded it.

A wind with teeth and sharpened, horizontal rain accompanied my walk to Belle View, the new home of The Steelmen, for the first time. I had been to their old ground Belle Vue on several occasions; in 1996 on my debut appearance, the game was fogged off at half time with the score 1-1 versus Murton. My last visit was in May 2013, to see the final game played there, when Spennymoor beat Benfield to win the Northern League Cup 2-1. Unlike that huge, crumbling but atmospheric venue, Belle View is compact and functional but, crucially, it has a 4G pitch that meant the game was never in doubt. Frankly, this is the future for amateur teams; providing such surfaces as standard would allow clubs to be open 7 days a week, creating revenue and binding them to their local community as a wide range of other teams could use the facilities available.

Despite a ridiculous wind that gusted in such a way that balls kicked in the air came down on the same spot they were launched from, the game was undoubtedly worth making the effort to see. In front of approximately 200 well-insulated enthusiasts, both Magpies and Black Cats who discussed the Tyne Wear derby with intelligence and passion, but utterly without rancour or enmity, Consett and Benfield served up a high quality game where conditions ensured close passing on the ground was a necessity. If only “Pards” had the tactical acumen of Steve Bowey or Kenny Lindoe.

For this game, I was delighted to be in the company of Sunday Sun non-league writer Steve Brown, who gave me a lift home and former Sunday Sun football writer turned academic (and Consett U9s manager) Neil Farrington, who provided insightful and stimulating conversation throughout; despite the events that had unfolded at SJP, this was truly the only place to watch football on Saturday 1^st February.

Consett took the lead when Guerin-Lokonga’s deflected effort deceived Benfield keeper Andrew Grainger in the first half, only for Paul Brayson’s smart finish to rescue a draw from an always dangerous looking Benfield. The game was a credit to the Northern League, a competition that has existed since 1889 and boasts 45 clubs in two divisions, including Benfield, Team Northumbria and Heaton Stannington in Newcastle itself, with West Allotment Celtic, North Shields,  Whitley Bay, Ashington, Bedlington Terriers and Alnwick representing the area north of the Tyne. South of the river Ryton, Whickham, Dunston, Birtley, Jarrow Roofing, Chester Le Street, Durham and South Shields serve areas of overwhelming black and white support. Below the Northern League, the Alliance boasts another 40 sides with the Tyneside Amateur, Corinthian and North Northumberland below that. We’ve not even mentioned Blyth or Gateshead yet!!

In short, with so many clubs and that much rich history to luxuriate in, there is no need or reason to form a breakaway club along the lines of FCUM; what we need to do as NUFC fans, is to fight for the soul of our own Newcastle United. This means joining together, organising and bringing pressure on the current toxic regime; Newcastle Fans United, NUST, credible fanzines such as Number 9, Kinnear’s on the Moon and Black & White Daft, together with the whole panoply of blogs, fans groups and all supporters with the best interests of the club at heart must bind together to drive Ashley OUT and bring Fan Ownership IN.

Friends, we must unite around Newcastle United and we must do this now. The next meeting of Newcastle Fans United is on Tuesday 18^th February at 6.30pm in the Irish Centre. Please make every effort to attend.