(The series first started in Summer 2004 with the 1974/1975 season and has continued up to the present day, in both players inc and now in Toon Talk) What were you doing on the night of May 25th 2005? I’d guess a sizeable percentage of those reading this page were watching in rapt amazement as Liverpool came back from 3-0 down to win the Champions’ League final on penalties against AC Milan in Istanbul. Personally I’ve not seen a single second of highlights of the game as I was watching Teenage Fanclub, the greatest band in the history of the Universe, at the University. Having seen the Fannies 28 times now, that particular gig tends to blend in with many others, but the importance of the night to Newcastle United remains crystal clear.
Liverpool had finished 5th in the Premiership, but because of their CL win, they were given special dispensation to appear in the 2005/2006 Champions League as the holders. This meant that Bolton would be accompanied in the UEFA Cup not by Liverpool, but by the Smogs, meaning there was an Inter Toto Cup place up for grabs. Freddy Shepherd was many things, but he never missed a trick and Newcastle’s application was straight in. Despite finishing 14th and as close to going down as achieving a UEFA Cup spot in terms of points in 2004/2005, we were back in Europe. Presumably because none of the sides finishing 8th to 13th wanted to play a collection of Moldovan Welders or Byelorussian Psychotherapists in mid July.
Exempted to the third round, we were drawn against Slovak side Dubnica. As someone who spent 2 wonderful years living in the Slovak capital of Bratislava, I was honoured to be one of the 83 Newcastle fans, most of who drink in The Newton in High Heaton, who made the trip to see my team in my adoptive country. 35 degree heat, 35p pints and a sleepy 3-1 win, with Michael Chopra scoring his first ever Newcastle goal made for a fantastic weekend, far away from the reality of our club under Souness.
The dull 2-0 home win courtesy of a Shearer double, where Amdy Faye’s alarming incompetence finally shone through in emphatic terms, and back to back 2-1 losses against Deportivo La Coruna in the next round meant we could concentrate on another season of ponderous mediocrity, or so it seemed. Those players departing SJP had included Patrick Kluivert, to Valencia, Laurent Robert, to Portsmouth and Nicky Butt, to Birmingham (on loan) of the team that had disgraced the fans in the FA Cup semi final v Man United at Cardiff in April 2005. Also out the door were honest journeymen Darren Ambrose to Charlton and Aaron Hughes to Villa, both of whom could justifiably still be with us now, not to mention Andy O’Brien who seems to be linked with a return every third Thursday. Craig Bellamy also finally left, for Blackburn, victim of Souness’s principles, that had been so on display after Bowyer and Dyer had got stuck in to each other in the previous season. Jermaine Jenas would move to Spurs in August, where he still struggles to reach his potential.
In their place came Scott Parker from Chelsea, the unknown Emre from Inter Milan and the unacceptable Luque from Deportivo. Significantly down on bodies, we also brought home Lee Clark from Fulham and signed up the unattached Craig Moore. Frankly, we didn’t look world-beaters and I had little compunction in taking a family holiday in the football season for the first time in years.
Sunning myself in the Bordeaux region, I was glad to miss our start of 1 point from 4 games; Arsenal 0-2 in our last game at Highbury, a bland 0-0 home to the Hammers, a shocking 0-2 at Bolton and a routine 0-2 home to Man United, when Luque gave a 15 minute cameo of why we’d wasted £10m on him. However, I did get back in time for the worst piece of transfer business this club has ever conducted, in the shape of the incredible £18m capture of Michael Owen. Five years on this looks to be the worst deal in the history of the world never mind Newcastle; it probably was. Still, at least Nobby Solano came back the same time.
Owen made his debut in a 1-1 home draw with Fulham when N’Zogbia rescued a point, before Shearer and Owen tore Blackburn apart as we won 3-0 at Ewood Park. The next week Owen grabbed his first home goal as we beat Man City 1-0 at a still unconvinced SJP. A dull 0-0 at Portsmouth was followed by our first visit to our latest bogey ground, Wigan, where a clearly over the line Shearer header was ignored as we lost 1-0. Owen was injured that day, with a groin or ankle or something, and missed the game the week after. I’m glad I didn’t.
We’d laughed very much when sunderland gained 19 points in 2002/2003, but we guffawed loudly at the 15 points they were to amass in 2005/2006, though there was no sign they’d be as poor as that when we beat them 3-2 in late October. Normally Derby games are lousy to watch, but this was a superb spectacle; two storming Shola headers and a pair of fine finishes by a couple of their lot left it nicely poised with 20 minutes remaining. Cue a piece of Turkish delight as Emre curled in a fabulous 30-yard free kick at the Gallowgate to win it for us. Some goal and some game, but an example of the all too rare commodities of skill and flair in the Souness era.
Amazingly, Owen was back the next week and him, Shearer and forgotten man Kieron Dyer all played blinders as we won 3-0 at The Hawthorns. We were only 10th, but seemingly improving. Birmingham lost 1-0 at SJP as November dawned with an Emre effort squirming away from Maik Taylor. We followed this up with three defeats, comprising a 3-0 pummelling at the Bridge by Chelsea and a1-0 loss at Goodison, sandwiching a limp League Cup exit 1-0 at Wigan, to show we weren’t really any good.
The knives were out for Souness and if Gareth Barry hadn’t blasted a last minute penalty in to the Leazes, needlessly given away by the hapless Bramble, he’d have gone in early December, but he hung on. This 1-1 draw was supplanted by a praiseworthy 1-0 win home to Arsenal; Nobby scored it, but Scotty Parker won us the game with a dynamic showing.
The week after, December 18th 2005, saw the last ever edition of The Pink and what a story they had, with an Owen hat-trick winning us the game at West Ham in a 4-2 thriller. I nearly died. Actually, I did nearly die in a car crash the next day when an articulated lorry ploughed in to us as we drove north on the A1, but I survived and was able to see Liverpool and Spurs both beat us 2-0, with Owen breaking his foot at White Hart Lane on New Year’s Eve. It was a case of no footing rather than first footing.
In early January Lee Clark rescued a point with a 93rd minute leveller home to the Smogs, before Shearer finally matched Jackie Milburn’s goalscoring record in a 1-0 win over Mansfield in the FA Cup. It wasn’t Souness’s last win; that was a spawny 2-0 at Cheltenham in the next round of the cup. However, he left at the end of January following 3 league losses in a row; 0-1 at Craven Cottage, 0-1 home to Blackburn and 0-3 against Man City. While all three games stunk to high heaven, the last non-performance was as rotten an epitaph for his muddleheaded rule as he deserved; a man out of time and out of touch, he was as bad a boss, in my opinion, as Allardyce, Kinnear and McGarry combined.
Who was to take over? Well, humble, honest Glenn Roeder was running our Academy and he diffidently assumed the spotlight. The likeable Cockney took us from 15th to 7th at season’s end, by the simple expedient of playing 4-4-2 with Nobby and N’Zogbia out wide; it wasn’t rocket science, but it worked.
In his first game Shearer broke Milburn’s record as we swept Pompey aside 2-0 in a happy, vibrant, rocking SJP. We went to Villa and won 2-1, with Given saving a penalty, drew 0-0 with Charlton when we’d bossed the game, before stuffing Everton 2-0 with a Nobby pearler and Bolton 3-1 without breaking sweat.
Of course there were setbacks; 4 successive losses, 0-2 at Old Trafford, 1-3 home to Liverpool, when Boumsong was sent off on his last appearance, 0-1 at Stamford Bridge in the Cup and 1-3 at Charlton, where Scott Parker scored his first goal from about 40 yards. However, there was also April, when we won 5 in a row.
Firstly, Spurs were comprehensively outplayed 3-1 with Jenas getting dog’s abuse and Dawson a red card, before an easy 2-1 stroll at smogland where they scored in the dying seconds and then a 3-1 element of revenge over Wigan on Easter Saturday.
Of course, you’ll remember Easter Monday; 4-1, “We’ll Meet Again,” “We Only Played For 7 Minutes,” the corner flag collector in tears and even Luque scoring. The original demolition derby saw Alan Shearer get his last ever goal, a penalty fittingly enough, in his last ever game as we lorded it over the unwashed in the best way possible. Happy days.
Subsequent games included a 3-0 win over also relegated West Brom, 0-0 at St Andrew’s and a 1-0 win over Chelsea, but they were pretty much after the Lord Mayor’s Show after the Mackem massacre. However, the Chelsea result guaranteed we finished 7th and qualified for the Inter Toto Cup, which we were to win, in 2006/2007.
Sadly this season marked the end of Alan Shearer’s playing career, with no clear indication of who was to replace him (Owen played a sub’s role at Birmingham after breaking his foot and nothing else). His testimonial against Celtic was an emotion charged affair that I was proud to have attended.
Sadly also, in retrospect, Shepherd took the easy option and made Glen Roeder, against his better instincts, permanent manager. Looking back on the latter half of this season, it is clear than in our post Sir Bobby Premier League days, it was only a window of adequacy in a booked-up diary full of dross. Come back next issue for 2006/2007; we win the Inter Toto Cup but the Premier League is a huge pile of fetid mediocrity.
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