Our Party?

Newcastle United; the last few games...

Remember that brief, inglorious moment last summer when naïve, pinko reformists were all breathlessly telling us that Your Party was going to be the shining path that leads us to the Parliamentary road to Socialism? How wrong they, predictably, were. Your Party’s founding conference on 29 and 30 November, held in Liverpool while Newcastle were trouncing Everton in their own back yard, sealed its fate as a backward, social democratic unpopular front. The conference was dominated by a Corbyn-led clique of Labour left has-beens and their fair-weather, opportunist allies among the Independent Alliance of MPs, along with the petit bourgeois left organisations which have flocked to Your Party in pursuit of their own equally pro-Capitalist interests. It will remain simply the latest iteration of a supposed leftish electoral vehicle for those ideologically bankrupt reformists who no longer have a political home in the Labour Party, until they do a Jamie Driscoll and end up in the Greens.

When Jeremy Corbyn and Zarah Sultana announced Your Party’s establishment in July, virtually the entire so-called left agreed that: it had to be set up quickly, it was vital that Corbyn be in the leadership (these Reformists and their Leninist fellow travellers love a strong leader) and, thus established, Your Party would be a huge step forward for the working class in Britain. However, it was clear to Socialists that this venture could only be a dead end, as it was merely the continued embodiment of reactionary Labour politics of the past. Even if, therefore, it won a parliamentary majority, the ruling class would ensure it was unable to enforce even the mildest of supposedly radical economic programmes.

Consequently, it was inevitable that Your Party’s dull conference, like a dog’s breakfast of a curate’s egg, would cement the grip of the social democratic, avowedly pro Capitalist trend represented by Jeremy Corbyn and his allies. These forces had organised ruthlessly to stitch up the entire agenda, control contributions and pre-empt any discussion. They saw off with ease the limited challenge to their control posed by other supposed left-wing organisations, by which I mean ‘left of Labour.’ Far from representing ‘a new kind of politics’, the entire programme reflected the bureaucratic and politically backward, pro-Capitalist reformist tropes of the old Labour left and left of Labour structures from which the majority of those attending the conference clearly hailed. What little political dissent there was, was stifled.

You know what? Your Party’s intrinsic lack of direction, purpose or a credible, defining ideology reminds me so much of the current state of Newcastle United as the Premier League season approaches the halfway point, with the team sitting in a mediocre 11^th position. Wins against Spurs and Chelsea, the former thrown away and the latter scandalously stolen by incompetent officiating, would have seen us sitting 6^th at Christmas, but the wholly depressing statistic of 13 points wantonly discarded from winning positions, predominantly on account of appalling play and even worse tactical cowardice, means we do not deserve to be anywhere other than where we currently are. Ten points above the drop zone and the same distance away from third top Villa, who began the season in something approaching crisis, this is the very same spot in the table Benitez and then Bruce had us welded to between 2018 and 2021. Admittedly we’re in the semi final of the Carabao Cup, with City probably the toughest draw we could have been handed, and almost certain to nail down a play off spot in the Champions’ League, but if we don’t win either of those competitions, I can’t see any way on this earth we’ll be competing in Europe in 2026/2027, which will have dire repercussions on the composition of the squad and future of the club going forward. Those continuing to “trust the process” of the utterly discredited PIF murderers need their heads examined.

So, how did we get here? I last wrote about NUFC after the deserved, but lopsided, win over Burnley. Since then, we’ve played a further four games, winning one, drawing two and losing the other. Clearly the most galling aspect of that run of results is the collection of only a single point in the league, but of almost equal concern is the fact that for one and a half of those games, we played as dreadfully as we have on any occasion since Howe arrived.

Before the Leverkusen game, the mood music was to do with the continuous, infuriating concession of late goals. This problem showed no signs of going away, after an 88^th minute equaliser by the hosts took the gloss off an otherwise impressive second half performance. Woltemade’s intelligent harrying for the ball won us a penalty and Miley’s stunning header had us ahead. It could have been more. Flekken, who’d always appeared shaky when at Brentford, made a stunning save from Thiaw and we twice struck the inside of the same post, so that the disappointment of their late goal was almost volcanic at full time. However, in the cold light of day, it can’t be denied that their equaliser was crafted by an outrageous dummy that absolutely killed Tonali and the opening own goal was an utter fluke. Some may wish to blame Ramsdale for them both, and I have to admit to being utterly unconvinced by his performances thus far, but I struggle to lay any fault at his door for either of the Leverkusen goals. Then again, a point is not the worst result in the world when you recall how lucky Thiaw was not to see red for his foul on Quansah when we were already a goal behind and playing like dummies in the first half. As a consequence of this, we sit 12^th in the Champions League table, when we could have been 6^th, still needing another positive result from our last two games to assure a play-off spot, while daring to dream of the brace of victories that would see us in the last 16 by rights.

All that is for next year and a very different world than the one inhabited by our nearest and dearest on Wearside, which is where we tipped up next. I didn’t watch the game, and I still haven’t seen Woltemade’s own goal. You see, back in the day, I used to view these games as being like an exam you hadn’t revised for, but that level of intense emotional investment has died off over the years. Frankly, Percy Main’s home loss to Winlaton the day before stung far more than this result did. Let’s face it; this wasn’t unexpected. Sunderland are unbeaten at home, while we’ve been dismal away (and not much better at home, half the time) and have been more than impressive on their return to the Premier League after just shy of a decade in the lower leagues. I may only have heard of 3 of their starting XI and a further 4 of the substitutes, but that didn’t matter as the tactics Howe employed were as timid and fruitless as any Benitez or Bruce could have come up with. Post match, Bruno claimed we had a far superior team to them, which made the loss all the more unacceptable, but he’s wrong. Yes, we have an excellent squad of players (and Joe Willock), but Sunderland have a real team ethos and that’s why they’re doing so well. Fair play to them. Incidentally, no Vapes, coins or mobile phone power packs were used in the production of this report.

Next up was the League Cup quarter final at home to Fulham. I’d secured a seat in the East Stand, courtesy of John and found that my levels of stress and anxiety associated with attending games (this was my third one of the season) are starting to diminish and remain well within manageable proportions. I enjoyed a glorious shawarma chicken wrap in the Wafi Lounge next to the Dog and Parrot with my old mate from work Mick, before slogging up to the ground and enjoying a perfect view from Row E, after a quick pint of Guinness, which I’m getting a taste for on these cold winter nights. Fulham started well, but we took the lead when Wissa pounced on a loose ball in the area to hammer us ahead. All this came from Jacob Murphy doing what he does best: firing in almost unplayable crosses for the centre forward to finish off. If Barnes has to play when Woltemade does, which he should, then Murphy must similarly be paired with Wissa. On terms of ability alone, Gordon should be in the starting line-up regardless, which leaves the enigma that is Elanga. What to do with him, I simply don’t know.

While contemplating this conundrum, Fulham equalised on 15 minutes from an unmarked header and proceeded to play for penalties for the remainder of the game. During breaks in play I’m sure I saw Willock and Smith-Rowe sharing a joke about how they weren’t just too shit for Arsenal, but for the Premier League itself. No matter, we won, setting up a run of 4 home games in a row in early in the New Year (Palace and Leeds in the League, Bournemouth in the FA Cup and then City; so much for dry January). Thiaw sorted everything out at the back, with Schar showing imperious passing skills and Bruno ran his blood to water all game. At least he was determined to put the Mackem debacle right. We may not totally have done that, but we more than deserved the win, despite a curious reluctance to shoot all night. A pinpoint Tonali corner was headed imperiously home by the superb Miley. With Sean and Anderson sold and Burn on the sick list, he is the beating Geordie heart of the squad, and he did his club proud once again.

A word about the support. We were vociferously all game and showed great support for Woltemade when he came on, though I did hear a few boos aimed at Elanga. Meanwhile the quite impressive Fulham turnout blotted their copybook with chants of “1-0 to the Saudi Boys.” Considering they were once owned by Mohammed Al-Fayed, I don’t think they have any right to the moral high ground over any questions of ownership.

Thus we come to the Chelsea game, where we had two points stolen by incomprehensible, inept refereeing. While Woltemade should have bagged a hat trick before the break, the two he got were highly encouraging and just reward for a tip top performance. Despite Chelsea getting their two goals after the break (the first I blame Ramsdale for and the second I cut some slack to Thiaw for), we should have won this game. Barnes should have scored the winner, and was fouled late on, when nothing was predictably given, but it wasn’t a penalty. Chalobah hauling down Gordon was and so was Reece James wiping out Barnes. The sheer lack of consistency is enough to make you sick. However, while being in the bottom half of the table simply is not good enough and even more unacceptable when considered alongside the shameful away performances, this game and the performance we put should be reason enough to finally give some belief to the squad and allow Howe and the coaching staff to let our attacking instincts come to the fore, especially once Pope is back in goal. Will this be the case? Ask me after Man United and Burnley.

 

Tynemouth CC; a brief update....

 

You might believe me if I say I’ve been thinking about cricket a lot lately, but not The Ashes, where my default assumption is always that we’ll lose the series 5-0. However, you probably won’t believe me when I say that it is Tynemouth Cricket Club that has been occupying my thoughts to a greater extent than events Down Under, but it has.

Most importantly, Wednesday December 17^th saw a sizeable number of mourners, many from the local cricket scene of days gone by, were in attendance at TCC Life President Don Norton’s funeral at Tynemouth Crematorium, on what would have been his 90^th birthday. I was very glad to be there to pay my respects. Although I only knew Don for around a decade, every conversation I had with him, whether it be about education (we were both lecturers at North Tyneside College, though Don had retired long before I started there), football (he was a lifelong Newcastle United fan) or, almost invariably, the most beautiful game, was an absolute pleasure and a learning experience. Initially, I recall him sitting on the bench closest to the entrance to the pavilion for every home game (unless it was against The Unmentionables, but we’ll not go there), before age and attendant mobility problems meant he watched games in his later years from his car. Whether I was watching the first XI or partaking in my version of playing for the 3s, I’d always stop for a chat that could have gone on for hours. I would also ensure that I fetched his matchday beer from the bar, generally a Brown Ale, unless it was scorching hot and he’d have a “soft drink,” which is what he called lager and lime. He was an absolute gentlemen with an encyclopaedic knowledge of cricket and I feel honoured to have known him. RIP Don.

Sadly, both the 1s and 3s were relegated last season and the reality of that comes with the news that the fixtures have been released for 2026. Under new captain Martin Pollard, we’ve high hopes that the 3s can bounce back from the basement division. I sincerely hope to be involved, if required. We’ll I’ve not shifted 2 stone for nowt you know. Starting April 18^th, we’ll by plying our trade in NTCL Division 6 South. As there are only 8 teams in this division, it appears we’ll be facing 6 of them (Benwell & Walbottle, Lintz, Monkseaton, Percy Main, Stocksfield, where I’ve watched but not played, and Whitley Bay) on 3 occasions and 1 team (Kirkley Hall; the only ground I’ve not visited) twice. This gives us 20 league games and three free Saturdays (May 9^th, July 11^th and August 22^nd). Hopefully, we won’t lose any further Saturdays to the weather (unlikely I know) or, as was the case on 4 different occasions last season, to concessions when we couldn’t raise a team. I’ve already made myself available for every game.

Finally, for a good few years, until COVID probably, each winter I used to enjoy the 6-a-side indoor cricket, when Polly organised the side. Every year, we’d win the Northumberland title at South North, then the North East one versus a Durham team, at the Riverside, before just coming up short in the Northern final at Old Trafford, only one step away from the National final at Lords. After the pandemic, interest in this version of the game seems to have waned somewhat, to the extent that I was roped in to play against Seaton Burn nearly two years ago in January 2024, finding out I was required (there really wasn’t anyone else available) the morning after I’d consumed the best part of a bottle of Spiced Rum in an attempt to clear out the leftover Christmas booze. We won, when the opposition conspired to run all 6 of their batters out and bowled a presentable couple of overs, before having an early night. Out caught first ball after I’d timed it beautifully as well.

Anyway, at the end of November, the Northumberland final came down to a straight shootout between the only two clubs to enter the competition: Blyth and us. Blyth batted first and Dan McGee and Andrew Smith did the business with the ball, dismissing them for 48 from 6 overs. It seemed to be a straightforward task, and it was, with Zac Larner and George Stewart taking us home without loss. So, in the New Year, we will again visit the Riverside, with the prize being a trip to Derby for the Northern Finals. Opposition is, as yet, unknown. I’ll be going like.

Home Bargains

I went to Newcastle 2 Burnley 1 on Saturday. Thoroughly enjoyed myself!

After the sad demise of Whitburn & Cleadon FC, who we’d pummelled 12-0 back in August, Percy Main were left without a fixture on Saturday 6^th December. In searching around for a game, I’d identified Whitley Bay Sporting Club v Willington Quay Saints on the 4G at St Peter’s Fields as being the best fixture on offer. However, my mate John, who was heading over from County Kildare for the Burnley game, managed to source me one at SJP. Now I’ve finally retired my old BlackBerry, I actually have Google Wallet on my new (old) phone, so I was able to download the ticket and enjoy the 21^st Century from Row N in the Leazes East Stand corner, which is now my preferred location whenever possible. The real question is, how come a seat in the middle of a row suddenly becomes available 48 hours before a home Premier League fixture kicks off? I’ve no idea, but John who is a keen observer of these things, noticed how about 60 spaces for Spurs suddenly went on line the day of that game. Apparently, they were unsold corporate ones, with no option for the bland 3-course meal included, available for £55 rather than the usual £300 plus. Must be some decent bait they’re serving these days. On Saturday morning, a dozen or so Burnley tickets also appeared, strangely enough.

Perhaps the NUFC Against Sportswashing crowd should avail themselves of these last minute deals. Firstly, it would allow them to actually see what the inside of St. James Park looks like and secondly they could hold up one of their banners, instead of bellyaching that the Gallowgate Flags organisation hasn’t stumped up for one on their behalf. Then again, we don’t need Denver’s Islamophobic Army in our home, do we? Seriously though, I still feel the unexplained appearance of so many last minute tickets suggests the club still doesn’t have a full handle on who all of our season ticket holders are. Almost certainly, the recycling of the Ashley giveaways from a few seasons back have fallen into the hands of the wrong sorts. I’d like to have asked the immaculately dressed “Hoppy” Hopkinson about that issue at the We Are United event in The Stack on Monday 1^st December, but I didn’t know it was on. Afterwards, NUST sent out a comprehensive summary of proceedings via email and, while the content of the evening was predictably anodyne, with lots of warm words but nothing of substance about ground moves and so on, I’m glad the club are no longer behaving like the Ashley regime when it comes to fan engagement. It’s all well and good wanting to be as big as Real Madrid by 2030, but real action, including the welcome backing of our fans to the hilt following the Marseilles debacle (and I’m not talking about either Nick Pope or Holly Blades here) is to be warmly welcomed.

Similarly, we can give two cheers for the team’s performance on the pitch since we got back from the international break. 10 points from 12 in 4 league games may not have moved us significantly higher in the table (though if we’d held on against Spurs we’d be sitting 6^th now), but we’re now 9 rather than 2 points above relegation and that can only be a good thing. What is most encouraging is that we faced a couple of daunting fixtures at the start of this run and passed these tests with flying colours. Perhaps we were lucky in the City game to survive two decent penalty claims and to find both Harland and Foden unable to hit a barn door. However, it’s nice to get a rub of the green for once and it was a much improved performance, helped massively by the return of the two best fullbacks at the club and the only one of our 4 wide players who is displaying any kind of form. This was a deeply satisfying and deserved win.

Marseilles was the polar opposite. I’d gone in to this one, saying I’d be happy with a 3-0 loss, if we could guarantee a win away to Everton. In the end, I abandoned that position as Marseilles weren’t really that much cop and we could have been out of sight by half time. Alright, so their winner was a good bit of football (and frighteningly similar to the first Spurs equaliser a week later), but the good work, and missed chances, of the first half were undone by Pope’s insane rush from goal for their opener. What he was thinking I’ll never know, but the result of his actions was that less than a minute of real playing time after Gordon had spurned a gilt-edged opportunity to put us 2-0 at the break, we were back on level terms after a howler of a keeper error that reminded me of Burridge at home to West Ham in September 1990. Frankly, the French riot police ought to have been baton charging Pope and spraying him with tear gas for that one. An action more shameful than the one performed by Holly Blades in the bogs.

And so to Everton. Well, talk about getting the monkey off your back eh? Without an away win in 7 months, we absolutely pulverised them. Thiaw’s two headers were perfect set pieces from brilliant crosses, and the other two goals made me laugh uproariously. Pickford’s usual unprofessional approach to this game saw him drop the kind of rick I’d be ashamed of in the weekly 6-a-side up the West Road, whilst the inexplicable absence of any kind of defence for Woltemade’s delightful finish was redolent of pub football at its worst. Nice though for Elanga to get a proper assist with a measured pass for that one, but we were excellent all over the pitch from first whistle until last.

The Spurs game saw a load of wailing and gnashing of teeth on social media. Unquestionably it was 2 points dropped, and as frustrating as the pair of 2-2 draws with Port Vale at SJP in October 1989 and December 1991, but it has to be recognised that their first was a great header and for the equaliser, it was Thiaw’s unfortunate flick that diverted the ball past Ramsdale, in for the allegedly injured Pope. Bruno finished superbly from Big Nick’s beautiful lay off and the penalty was 100% a spot kick. The defender wrestled Burn for a good 20 seconds or so and never once looked for the ball. Well done VAR, and it’s not often I say that. Well, apart from the 2 we got away with against City I suppose. One thing that did disappoint me was nobody being on hand to finish the rebound after Joelinton had hit the post, but I guess that’s the kind of finish Wissa would be able to provide.

We got to see Wissa on Saturday against Burnley. Two ahead at the break against a team in the relegation zone and facing only 10 men, it should have been a cakewalk. And for 93 minutes it was. After an opening 10 minutes of huffing and puffing, the visitors offered nothing up front, rather like Willock for us. Bruno’s hilarious goal was right in front of me, as were the clear red card and not so obvious penalty. Gordon, who looked much better than of late, put it away well. Livramento was different class, aiding Elanga to be more involved and, of course, Bruno was a class act. Ramsay also looked good, neat and tidy, until the farcical penalty concession. That and one late chance for them gave the scoreline a lopsided look, but a win is a win, and we can go away to Leverkusen in better heart than we would have done a month ago.

A word also about some pubs. John and I enjoyed ourselves in The Town Mouse beforehand, where the Deya Magazine Cover was superb. Afterwards, the Two By Two Snake Eyes in The Bodega was of the usual glorious standard, before a final pair of Almasty Green in The Wobbly Duck. Superb pints. Superb company and we managed it back home in time for Match of the Day. A highly civilised day out. Even the Guinness in the ground was very drinkable.