Eight Levels High

One of the nicknames I had at work a few years back was Marmite, not on account of the fact I was a gloopy, yeasty, paste that needed spooning out of a jar, but because I provoked a dichotomous response; people either loved me or hated me. I used to comment that most people took an instant dislike to me as it saved time. It is true though that I’ve been a bad person for so much of my life that  literally dozens of friends, family members and acquaintances who had all stuck by me through thick and thin have eventually thrown up their hands in disgust at my conduct and not simply walked away, but set themselves up in implacable opposition to me, often with the stated aim of doing me down in as many ways as possible, to the greatest possible audience, with the intent of causing me the maximum possible harm. Frankly, I’ve no option but to take this opprobrium on the chin, because so much of it is deserved. I don’t worry about my reputation because it’s almost irretrievable; almost no-one has a good word to say about me.

I am a bad person; I can be cruel, vindictive, manipulative, aggressive, vain, arrogant and deceitful, but I can be engaging, personable, supportive, perceptive, caring and helpful, but just not often enough and not to the right people. I am estranged from so many former close friends that I’ve pushed away by my conduct that it is a source of constant, daily regret that I no longer have them in my life. People I used to be able to call, or meet up with for a point, have distanced themselves from me, not because of anything they’ve done, but because of my words or my actions.

The charge that wounds me above all others is the one my sister regularly levels against me to anyone prepared to listen; namely I am a bad father. This hurts. It stings. I fear its repetition so much, because it may have been true at some point, even if it isn’t now. My life was in a black hole of despair and utterly worthless in 1999 when I quit England to spend 2 years in Bratislava as a TEFL teacher. Apart from an ignoble relapse in 2004, this decision turned my life around and I became a far more worthy person as a result of these experiences (though still an intermittently cruel, deceitful and vain bastard all the same). Sadly, in order to do this, I abandoned my then wife (I was a hopeless husband I’ll admit; these days we get on far better than we ever did when married) and 4 year old son, to set up home in Slovakia.

It was the classic mid-life crisis of early middle age; at 35 I needed a new identity and life, which I found by the banks of the Danube. I had a great job, some brilliant new friends, a football team to support (Petrzalka) and another to play for (Bratislava Academicals); I didn’t have my 4 year old son though and I wonder and worry how much my disappearance affected him. He’s in sixth form now and ostensibly a totally switched on happy young man. He’s in to indie music, rugby, booze and taking the piss out of me; all healthy pursuits, but I don’t know (and I’m scared to ask) whether my departure harmed him at any deep level or if it has caused any residual anger or hurt that he is bottling up.

As my late October blog http://payaso-del-mierda.blogspot.com/2011/10/capitalism.html showed, we get on really well and enjoy our time together, as we have done at gigs such as Trembling Bells, The Fall and Wire this autumn. However, back in December 2005, we almost died together. On Sunday 18th December that year, driving back from my dad’s in Swalwell, a Tesco 18-wheeler rear ended us on the A1 going north past the Metro Centre and we should have all bought it (the ex-wife was there as well). Amazingly, we didn’t and all walked away unmarked, eventually picking up enough compo for a canny summer holiday in the Algarve, with Ben ready to receive a decent cheque when he turns 18 (put it this way, his first year fees at University have been taken care of) though each December 18th my blood still runs cold when I think of the accident.

I like to be able to mark each anniversary this crash with a special little dad and lad event, so with Percy Main v Harraby biting the dust on account of a frozen pitch, we headed for Newcastle v Swansea. Initially, opting for this when there was real football available at Benfield (they lost 3-2 at home to Jarrow Roofing after being 2-0 up!) made me feel a slightly guilty, fraudulent glory-seeker on the 38 in to town, but as the ticket was part of the bairn’s Christmas Present, these feelings melted away.  The match may have ended with a blank score line, but I’ve never been more pleased to attend a game at St. James. This was a game that purged my being and left me emotionally and intellectually cleansed; never before has a game done me so much good. The £26 each ticket cost was an absolute giveaway, for what I got out of it. Indeed, I can honestly say, I will resolve that forevermore, I am going to be a better person because of December 17th 2011. I don’t know how much longer I have to live; at night and in the morning, pains, aches, unexplained strains and soreness worry me. I fear for my kidneys, my heart, my liver, perhaps even a stroke; if I am to go, I want it to be with a clean slate, a clear conscience and a sense of all wrongs righted. I do not want people to speak ill of this dead person, even if, as it has been so often predicted, I “come to a bad end.”

I am an atheist and proud to be so, but I will admit to having a tear in my eye when “Bread of Heaven” was sung for Gary Speed before kick-off; not because I found the words particularly uplifting, but because of a chance encounter in the ground. Having arrived late to the party, the only pair of adjoining seats to be had, other than in Bar 1892 (and much as I love the bairn, I wasn’t prepared to lash out £46 each on a ticket for this one, though being wise after the event, I know I would willingly have paid ten times more for the epiphanies I discovered ), were up on the Level 7 balcony, which made Rob from Steel Wheels’s choice of half time record particularly apposite; I’ve always loved “Eight Miles High” by The Byrds. While slogging up the 200 steps to our seat, which afforded us a fabulous view (see lousy photo) we fell in to step with a work colleague of mine, Mark McCutcheon, who plays for Team Northumbria in the Northern League Division 2. As they’d played on Friday night, beating Whickham 3-1 (yes I’d been there for the second half, of course), he was taking the opportunity to fetch his old man to this game.

Mark’s dad is Alan and he was an apprentice who worked with my dad years ago. I’d only ever met Alan once before, at my dad’s retirement do at the Benton Ale House (or The Ship as it was then), in October 1994. He recognised me immediately and, though it was over 2 years since my dad had passed away, he grasped me warmly by the hand and told me “Eddy was the best gaffer I ever had; the best.” Add to this knowledge, the emotional sight of 52,000 people holding aloft pictures of Gary Speed you’ll understand why I was in tears.

As for the game itself, you’ll know the drill. Newcastle should have been three up by half time, but failed to press home their advantage and the game fizzled out in to a stalemate. As someone who mainly watches Northern Alliance football, I am always delighted to see a Premier League game, so I can appreciate at reasonably close quarters (it was Level 7 after all), the dazzling skills of Coloccini and Cabaye, and the ruthless determination of Tiote and Ba. In many respects it was a relief not to have to see Tim Krul pulling off any breath-taking saves for a change. Thankfully, the team performance was so good that neither Perch nor Obertan received any mindless barracking from clowns who seem to only enjoy themselves when there’s something to moan about.

Two things did disappoint me; those showing so little respect for the late Gary Speed that they turned the bits of card with his photo and the words of “Bread of Heaven” in to paper aeroplanes and the idiots who booed at full time, though I’ve no idea what they were booing. At least DJ Rob drowned them out with the fabulous choice of Teenage Fanclub’s “Baby Lee,” a song so uplifting I emerged at the bottom of the stairs spiritually ready and emotionally prepared to get falling down drunk on Thwaites’ Wainwright at the Percy Main Amateurs Christmas Do.

To conclude, I have to say I’m not proud of the person I have been or who I am, but I am resolved to be better in the future. If I can remove the detestable and mean parts of my character, I will know that the memory of Gary Speed, the handshake of Alan McCutcheon and the sound of “Baby Lee” will all have played their part in this, though hopefully it will be my resolve that made any improvements possible.

If, at any time in the past, I have hurt or angered you; I’m sorry. Truly I am and though I know words are cheap, please allow me to demonstrate by my future actions that I will never intentionally hurt or let anyone down again, especially myself.

Happy Christmas

The Bleak Mid Season

Michael Hudson asked me to pen an article about the Northern Alliance season 2011/2012 so far for his website http://northernleagueday.wordpress.com/ ; this is that article

The Northern Alliance is a bit like La Liga; not for us the vulgar bonhomie of festive football, with handshakes on the terraces and the swapping of hip flasks by rubicund men in freshly unwrapped sweaters.  Instead, we withdraw and contemplate on the highlights, or otherwise, of the season so far.

Glenn Roeder is a good man; I liked him as a player for Newcastle and I had no objection to him coming in as boss after the fiasco that was the Souness Administration. While Roeder successfully got Newcastle playing football in the latter half of the 2005/2006 season, including highlights such as Shearer breaking Milburn’s scoring record, the 4-1 annihilation of the Mackems and a 7th place finish that seemed scarcely possible when we’d lain 15th in late January, the job of permanent boss was too big for Roeder. Admittedly he was the second Newcastle manager to win a European trophy, when the 2006 Inter Toto Cup was secured when Auxerre beat Livorno (don’t ask), but league form was atrocious and he resigned in May 2007 after a particularly dire 2-0 home loss to Blackburn, stating “it’s been a bloody awful season,” a sentiment we at Purvis Park can empathise with as the 2011/2012 campaign reaches its midpoint. Frankly, when the home game against Harraby Catholic Club was called off on the Friday night before the scheduled 17^th December fixture, we all cheered as it meant we’d not be beaten that weekend!

So, who’s hot and who is not in the rest of the Alliance? At the top of the Premier Division, Heaton Stann lead Carlisle City by a point, with Killingworth in 3rd, with Harraby Catholic Club down in 7^th but with games in hand always likely to be a threat. At the bottom, Murton are struggling, but so too are Ponteland United; not in a relegation spot yet it’s true, but the reigning champions lost 8-1 at home to Whitley Bay A and 6-1 at Reyrolle in successive weeks. Things look ominous for them.

Down in Division 1, the big story has involved the sad demise of Wark; the Tyne Valley Club were 3^rd in the Premier only 2 seasons ago, but they’ve lost players, committee and backing, so they chucked it, as did perennial strugglers Newcastle East End as new manager Tosh Burke was unable to raise a team, echoing the frustrations of previous boss Anth Doyle. The result being, following the disappearance of both Berwick United and Stobswood in pre-season, as well as Peterlee’s defection to the Wearside League, the division is operating with a scarcely credible total of 11 teams. It is unclear whether the Alliance will operate the usual 2 up, 2 down policy, as 16-14-14 is rumoured to be next season’s preferred Alliance structure (currently it is 16-11-16); that would be great for D2 teams wanting to come up and D1 teams not wanting to go down, especially Chemfica whose record at their new Newcastle University Coach Lane base (not the Cochrane Park one) is played 9, lost 9, though they did draw 0-0 with Newcastle University on the adjoining pitch to their own. At the top, Amble United are well set for promotion, as are the non-nonsense Wallsend Town outfit, though the table is lopsided in the number of games teams have played.

In Division 2, Gosforth based Red House Farm and South Shields outfit Harton & Westoe are well in contention for the top two places, but Wallsend Boys’ Club Seniors are riding high as well. It is good news that all 5 new teams (Alnwick Reserves, Alston, Bedlington Reserves, New Fordley and Whickham Lang Jacks) are holding their own, but spare a thought for poor Cramlington United, who are 8 points adrift at the bottom, having only won a single game; their victims, Northbank travelled all the way over from Carlisle to lose that one!

On top of their league commitments, there are the Alliance’s 5 cup competitions for teams to compete in: three divisional trophies (Challenge, Combination and Amateur as we look down), the George Dobbins Memorial League Cup for all teams and the Bill Gardner Memorial  Trophy, for those who lose in the first round of the League Cup. The League Cup is down to the last 8, with 6 Premier and 2 First Division clubs left in it, with the games scheduled for January (as if!!). In the Challenge Cup, Heaton Stann face Carlisle City in an intriguing semi-final, while Percy Main’s conquerors Harraby must travel to Whitley Bay. In the Challenge Cup, the semis see Gosforth Bohemians host Wallsend Town in a struggle ideal for sociologists everywhere, while Amble United go to Newcastle University. In the Amateur Cup last 4, Whickham Lang Jacks face Bedlington Terriers Reserves and Willington Quay Saints host Harton & Westoe Colliery Welfare, in what must be the game with the two teams who have highest amount of letters in their names in the league. The Bill Gardner Trophy semis haven’t been drawn yet, but the last 4 are: Bedlington Terriers Reserves, Newcastle University, Wallsend Town and Wideopen & District.

As well as the Alliance cups, Premier Division sides from Northumberland are in the NFA Benevolent Bowl, along with Prudhoe Town of the Wearside League (it’s a complicated one to explain). It’s at the last 8 now. The First and Second Division teams join with the Corinthian League, the Tyneside Amateur League and the North Northumberland League to play in the NFA Minor Cup, which is now at the last 16, with 9 Alliance teams left in it. As regards teams in the Durham FA, Hebburn Reyrolle face Brandon British Legion in the semi-final of the County Trophy, while Whickham Lang Jacks fly the Alliance flag in the Durham Minor Trophy second round. In Cumbria, Harraby are in the quarter final of the county cup. If asked I’ll let you know how it all pans out as season’s end!

A Waste Of Breath........

At the start of the 2011/2012 season, I made a decision as regards the Percy Main programme and my contribution to it. with only 1 page available, I decided against the sort of articles I've put on here, mainly as I couldn't express myself so concisely. Instead I've been doing "From The Main," a welcome page, and "Around The Grounds," a non-league round up for the north east. I've made the decision not to put them on here as they are news items rather than comment. However, as the edition planned for the visit of Harraby Catholic Club on 16th December 2011 will never see the light of day as the game was called off, I may as well put them up here for posterity. Sorry for their lack of depth, but this is the Alliance zeitgeist I guess.....



From The Main:

  Good afternoon everyone and welcome to Purvis Park for this afternoon’s Pin Point Recruitment Northern Alliance Premier Division game against our old friends from Carlisle, Harraby Catholic Club. I’d like to extend a special welcome to all the players, supporters and officials associated with our Cumbrian visitors, knowing full well that win, lose or draw, our pal Mike Little will be giving the John Smiths in the Cricket Club the benefit of his connoisseur’s palate. Who knows; we may have several special guests at the Percy Main Amateurs Christmas Party that takes place this evening at the Tap & Spile on Tynemouth Road from 7.30. If you are reading this, then you’re very welcome to join us, especially as the manager has arranged the appearance of a special cask of Harviestoun Brewery’s Schiehallion that Norman swears is the finest beer he has ever tasted. It’ll go some way to beat my personal favourite, the Draft Bass in the Tynemouth Lodge, but I’m prepared to give it a go.

If all this talk of beer is making you thirsty, then please remember today is the last chance to purchase Christmas Bottle Draw tickets from any committee member (only 50p each!), as the winning tickets will be selected tomorrow evening at 6pm. In addition, please remember, we are still collecting Evening Chronicle Wish tokens and there is a collection box for them in the clubhouse.

I’d like to apologise for straying away from sport to alcohol, but frankly the last few weeks have been enough to drive you to drink. The last 4 Saturdays have witnessed 4 successive defeats that have been encouraging and demoralising in equal measures. The least said about the 5-1 loss to Seaton Delaval the better and last week’s 1-0 loss at Walker Central was memorable only for Chris Bannon’s remarkable debut performance in goal. However, two encouraging losses saw us go down 1-0 and 3-0 to today’s opponents in the Challenge Cup and Premier division respectively.

However, hope must spring eternal and we have avoided defeat in our last 2 home games against Harraby. In August 2009, we won a pre-season friendly 2-1 with goals by Joe Betts and Liam Knox (while a certain Mr Little sunbathed with a few pints while, concentrating on the sound of leather on willow next door). In October 2010, we drew 0-0 in a simply superb game of football that was a credit to both sides. Let’s hope for more of the same today!

After today, we don’t have a game scheduled until January, when we’ve been handed 4 successive home games. Kicking off at 2pm on each occasion, we face Blyth Town (7^th), Stocksfield (14^th), Murton (21^st) and Rutherford (28^th), providing the weather doesn’t interfere. You can keep up to date with events on our new website, which will hopefully be available the old domain of www.percymainafc.co.uk in the very near future, but can currently be accessed at www.pitchero.com/clubs/percymainamateursfc/

Finally, can I just take this opportunity on behalf of everyone at Purvis Park, including players, management, committee members and helpers, to express our deep gratitude to all of you who come and watch the team? We are truly grateful and humbled that you choose to watch football at what I am convinced is the most scenic and most atmospheric ground in the north east. Please, if you possibly can, come and join us this evening in the Tap & Spile. If you are otherwise engaged, then please accept our very warmest wishes for the Festive Season and all the best for 2012.

Enjoy the game. Come on the Villagers!      

Around The Grounds:

It’s a grim fact of life that our recent difficulties mean that we’re casting nervous glances towards the bottom of the table rather than the top. Currently the Northern Alliance is operating on a 16-11-16 structure in the 3 divisions and without any information to the contrary, we’re assuming the bottom 2 still go down. At the minute, we’re fifth from bottom, 3 points above the nominal relegation spot. Things are tough for the Main, but they’re hard for the other strugglers too. Last Saturday bottom side Murton lost 2-1 at home to Carlisle City, who sit in second place a point behind Heaton Stannington (who are rumoured to be thinking of developing Grounsell Park to Northern League standards).  Second bottom Rutherford went down 3-2 away to fourth top Ashington Colliers,  but have 3 games in hand on the next 3 sides. Third bottom are Ponteland, who followed up an 8-1 crushing at home by sixth placed Whitley Bay A (2-1 losers at home to the Harraby outfit in seventh spot), with a 6-1 towsing at a Hebburn Reyrolle outfit who now stand tenth. Fourth bottom are Walker Central, then us. In eleventh place are Stocksfield, three points above us and with 2 games in hand, though they fell 3-1 to third placed Killingworth at Amberley Park last weekend. The other game saw ninth placed Blyth Town beat Shankhouse in fifth 3-1 at South Newsham.

In the abbreviated Division 1, Amble United are top, but Wallsend Town in second closed the gap to 4 points, with a 3-2 win at Benson Park against mid-table Gosforth Bohemians. The sides either side of them, fourth placed Heddon and sixth placed hosts Cramlington Town placed out a 3-3 draw.  Forest Hall and Chemfica remain in the relegation spots, with Morpeth Sporting just above, though it is difficult to accurately assess the true picture because of the imbalance in fixtures played by several teams, caused mainly by the resignations of Newcastle East End and Wark.

Division 2 is still headed by Red House Farm, who defeated seventh top Alston 3-2, with Harton & Westoe, 4-1 winners over eighth placed Wideopen & District, in second. Wallsend Boys’ Club are third, but were held 2-2 at Rheydt Avenue by New Fordley, who currently sit in ninth spot. The other two fixtures saw traditional bottom division goal extravaganzas, where third bottom Seaton Burn crushed rock bottom Cramlington United 8-0 and fifth bottom North Shields Athletic drew 5-5 with seventh from bottom Whickham Lang Jacks. Games like that will bring the crowds flocking back!

In the Northern League Division 1, Whitley Bay are third, after a 3-1 win away to an Ashington side whose fans reacted to this defeat in a most unsporting fashion it appears. Newcastle Benfield had gone nine games unbeaten, but still came unstuck 2-1 at Marske United. In Division 2, Team Northumbria remain top, after overcoming Gilford Park 2-1 away, while North Shields are second after a 5-2 romp away to Ryton & Crawcrook Albion. To continue the Division 2 optimism, West Allotment Celtic moved up to fourth, after hammering Seaham Red Star 5-0. Sadly things get no better for Blyth Spartans, who are rooted to the bottom of the Blue Square Bet North table, 5 points from safety, after a 3-0 thumping at Halifax town. Gateshead are sixth in the Conference table, but had a week off, as they advanced in the FA Trophy, with a 3-2 win over Mark Stimson’s Kettering, though I guess Ian Bogie’s side will still be haunted by their FA Cup second round loss at home to Tamworth, which has denied them a trip to Everton.

Those of you looking for a post-Christmas football fix in the absence of Percy Main games could follow this itinerary; Boxing Day 11am Team Northumbria v Ryton, 3pm Whitley Bay v Benfield. December 28^th 7pm Whitley Bay A v Seaton Delaval. December 30^th 7.30pm West Allotment v Gillford Park.  Who needs turkey and television when there’s football to watch?

                       

Everything Flows

It seems a long time since I uploaded my last blog about Newcastle United; in fact it was just over 3 weeks ago, on Saturday 12^th November. As ever, there have been seismic shifts and catastrophic crises since I last proffered up my thoughts on the circus at St. James Park.  I’d deliberately chosen that particular blank weekend in the Premier League calendar, as it seemed a safe bet that a quiet period on the pitch would be augmented by similar tranquillity off it. This is Newcastle United we’re talking about; things invariably don’t run to course and I was wrongfooted by Ashley’s gauche and tasteless renaming of St. James’ Park to something I’ll not dignify by using here. Being overtaken by events, last time out I attempted to mouth platitudes about this coarse egotism as a way of stalling for time, but I got things wrong, both ideologically and in terms of the zeitgeist when I foolishly said “I have no problem with this.”

As regards the latter point, NUFC Fans Utd held a meeting on Monday 14^th of November to discuss this situation, which I was unable to attend as I was watching fabulous C86 revivalists Veronica Falls at the Cluny, where the following statement was drafted -:

“As passionate supporters representing a wide range of opinion, NUFC Fans Utd believes strongly in the importance of communication and in light of the furore concerning the renaming and the naming rights of St James’ Park in the future, we call upon Newcastle United to review how it effects its own communication with supporters.

As the custodians of a Football Club steeped in 120 years of history and given the previous statements attributed to the Club’s Managing Director Derek Llambias that the name St James’ Park would remain an integral part of the Club’s future we are disappointed with the decision to drop the name St James’ Park, the manner of the announcement and how it was handled; without any consultation or appearance of constructive discussion with supporters.

We call upon the Club to act upon a collective desire among supporters for open and honest dialogue and we welcome any opportunity for supporters to engage in meaningful talk that benefits the Club in the short, medium and long term.”

It’s fair to say this is an expurgated, bowdlerised version of the sentiments echoed right across the NUFC fan base from the moment the new name was announced. Thus, my response to the zeitgeist was akin to hearing “New Rose” in December 76 then sitting down to write a triple concept album about Norse mythology. Obviously, anger is only one part of any response; tactics are the more important element and I was rightly excoriated by John in Vitoria. With his permission I’ve concatenated the email exchange we had to show his opinions, which I’ll not pass comment on, except to say he’s right -:

“I disagree with your use of the 'move on' cliché, which is merely a get out of jail card so beloved  of politicians and bankers who’ve been caught with their hands in the till, especially in the way it relates to the name change. It’s extremely disappointing that you are taking what is effectively the Judas Moncur line and no amount of imperious detachment can hide the fact you are two steps behind the masses on this issue. At times like this we need leadership and ideas, not hand washing or cynical sighing.

Your statement "Thus, it may be the case that having SJP rebranded is a bitter pill to swallow, but a necessary one, if Newcastle United are going to be run at a profit” is not only disingenuous and unfortunately an echo of the corporate arse lickers and ex-pros who swallow the Ashley line hook line and sinker. Have you read David Conn? Is 'capitalism in crisis' just a phrase to you? The most erroneous point you make is the suggestion renaming will go towards making NUFC profitable. That's total garbage. Even on a capitalist basis Ashley's move is a massive blunder.  Renaming St. James’ Park is not being done for GBP 10 million or whatever; it’s for power and prestige.”

What can I say? Maoists would call such public self-criticism Jingtao; ominously those who practised it were still often put to death. However, I think at the end of the day, my error of judgement and ideological faux pas may be looked upon with less critical eyes than those who sought to make the change in the first place.

One interesting development in the relationship between the club and certain elements of the fan base was a meeting that took place at some point in the week after the renaming fiasco. I have to state that I’m writing this blog under the equivalent of a voluntary D-Notice, but bear with me and I’ll tell the truth as best I can. News broke on Twitter, via an enthusiastic, dedicated and morally unimpeachable member of NUFC Fans Utd, who had been informed by an aghast local journalist of a meeting between the club hierarchy and representatives from www.nufc.com NUST and The Mag. Intrigued I texted Biffa, who was en route to Manchester City at the time, asking if he was getting a lift down with Mike and Derek; his response was “we’re all big one happy family.”

Now, I’ll cut Biffa an enormous amount of slack; he’s a maverick who has always followed the Groucho Marx maxim and has consequently maintained excellent relations with everyone who knows him, by his resolute independence more than anything else. Frankly I’ve never known anyone who has met him to badmouth him. The uniformed and unwise have complained of a lack of editorial direction from www.nufc.com but of course it is primarily a news service and not The Sunday Times Insight team transplanted to a football context. Those who’d berate him for allegedly giving the club an easy ride miss the point of his website. Attending a meeting with the club ownership was a no-brainer; he had to be there. Of course, one wonders why such a meeting has not been mentioned on his website, although it is fair to say he will have no interest in the official club position of Supporters’ Liaison Officer, which will be a requirement of all Premier League clubs from 2012/2013 season. Other people may have eyes on that job, though speaking as the only viable candidate for the position, I don’t object to not being invited to sit around the camp fire.

As regards NUST’s attendance, along with their printed companion The Mag, we have a very different case. Despite a flurry of early autumn emails and an open meeting on a Friday night about “the future of football,” it would be almost impossible for that largely ignored and frequently derided organisation to lower its approval ratings among the rank and file supporter, but I guess that they did just that. As communication with members seems to be anathema to them, they have not deigned to mention it on their website, though The Shite Seats blog talk about it in detail at http://www.shiteseats.co.uk/post/13005458971/areweunited 

The Mag may be the longest established of the three Newcastle fanzines (Black & White Daft only appeared in 2010 and Toon Talk was launched as playersinc back in 2003), but it is also comfortably the least interesting. I’ve not picked up the issue that came out on December 3^rd as yet, but I’d be surprised if it includes any reference to this meeting with the club. It would be interesting though to see if their editorial tone towards Ashley and Llambias varies from a position of mild disappointment that reminds me of nothing so much as an effete C of E vicar simpering over a gang of tearaways stripping lead from the vestry roof.

However, Newcastle United is the absolute acme of Heraclitus’s maxim “panta rei,” which can be rendered as either “everything is changing,” or as I prefer, “everything flows.” Consequently just as levels of supporter disgust at the apparent secrecy of this meeting began to build in the week that culminated in the fabulous point gained at Old Trafford, the whole NUFC cosmos tilted with the tragic news of Gary Speed’s death on November 27^th. I’m writing this is the period after the immediate outpourings of emotion as news of his passing broke, but before his funeral and Newcastle United’s official tribute to him.

I wasn’t born when Kennedy died, but I do know where I was when I learned of Gary Speed’s death. I was outside High Heaton Co-op unchaining my bike after buying some milk; a risibly banal counterpoint to an epochal tragedy. The news upset me beyond words on that day; Speed had been a fine player and an outstanding figure at Newcastle United between 1998 and 2004. He’d been moved on scandalously early in my opinion and I always wished him well at Bolton and Sheffield United, as well as in his final role as manager of Wales. I didn’t know him in the way Shay Given or Alan Shearer did and their upset at his passing was touching beyond words. Shay’s visible distress at the Swansea against Villa game was replicated only by Gary’s father at the Everton v Stoke fixture last weekend.

Whatever the causes of Gary Speed’s death, the fact remains it is primarily and overwhelmingly a private tragedy; his family must be allowed to mourn and the football world must move on. I remember when Bobby Robson died the day before my dad on July 31^st 2009; the final tribute and minute’s silence for him I recall was when Newcastle played at Ipswich on September 26^th 2009, almost 2 months later. This is too long; there is always the chance that mourning for this length of time will result in mawkish sentimentality.

Louise Speed attended Leeds United’s home game on December 3^rd, meaning Newcastle United’s tribute to Gary Speed will now take place on December 17^th versus Swansea. This is right and proper as it was her request to delay the celebration of her late husband’s life; however, a line must be drawn after this. Football does not need Gary Speed, the epitome of an undemonstrative, professional team player and not a preening, arrogant egotist, to turn in to a Lady Diana figure. Despite the circumstances of Gary’s death I refuse to speculate or to draw any comparisons with or conclusions about Stan Collymore’s latest bout of depression. Until the facts emerge, speculation is both prurient and unhelpful.

As regards Gary Speed, there is a private funeral and an inquest to come, both of which will be incredibly painful for his devastated family; we must allow them space for private grief and reflection. Let Gary Speed’s memory be celebrated in the way he conducted himself on and off the pitch; with dignity, with honour and with humility.

In the time since my last blog, Newcastle have played arguably their 3 hardest games of the season, performing creditably on each occasion, losing at Man City, drawing at Man United and losing at home to Chelsea. In the immediate aftermath of the Chelsea defeat, prolonged whining about the referee gave way to the requisite heavy drinking afforded by an early kick off. By the time I arrived in town after seeing the Walkergate Brazilians (Newcastle Benfield) march on to the last 32 of the FA Vase with a safe 3-1 win over Deeping Rangers from Lincolnshire, the Irish club was knee-deep with insensible, bladdered gobshites, who had started to accept the point at Old Trafford courtesy of the dodgy penalty had been countermanded with a vengeance in the shape of Luiz not being red-carded. So it goes, as Kurt Vonnegut would say.

With these tough fixtures out of the way, the run up to Christmas sees Norwich (A), Swansea (H), West Brom (H) and Bolton (A) as the next four games. We should be looking at a minimum 8 points from these encounters, but with Steven Taylor out for the season and Colo struggling to shake off a thigh strain, not to mention the continued absence of Williamson, we may have to revise our opinions downwards. Obviously the lack of central defenders in the squad takes this piece back to where we came in; this is all Ashley’s fault for running the club on such a ludicrous budget. We have to play Perch and Simpson at centre back as there’s nobody else at the club who can fit in there. This is crackers, but even more ludicrous is the depressing notion that whether we get 12 or 0 points from these games, none of us, not even Del’s Boys who were invited in to the inner sanctum a few weeks back, know how it will affect the club’s policy for the January transfer window. As regards playing staff,  we need 2 centre halves to augment the recruitment of both the left back and  striker we needed back in August, but whether we get them or not is still another matter.

Providing we don’t get Wearside-bound Emile Heskey, that’s alright with me.