Mr (Claret &) Blue Sky

This piece is an appreciation of all the great work my mate Norman de Bruin does for Percy Main Amateurs. It will also appear in this Saturday's programme for the game against North Sunderland -:

Those of you who follow various local football pages on social media will no doubt be aware that our very own secretary (and so much else besides) Norman de Bruin had his many years of long and devoted service to Percy Main Amateurs recognised with a Northumberland FA Grassroots Award at a swanky soiree at a posh Gosforth hotel on Friday 25^th September. Modest and self-effacing bloke that he is, Norman will undoubtedly hate the fact I’ve written this piece, as he is someone who has never sought to be in the spotlight. However I couldn’t allow the occasion to pass without penning a personal tribute to a bloke I hold in the highest esteem and who I’m proud to call one of my closest friends.

Born in Shields to a Dutch father (hence the unique surname) and local mother, Norman grew up, and remains, a devoted supporter of Newcastle United. However, like many others at the time, he was left on the outside of St James’ Park when the Keegan bandwagon started rolling and season tickets became prized commodities in the early 90s. Despite his personal sport being athletics, where he clocked 1 hour 14 in many half marathons in his twenties, including the Great North Run three times in a row, despite being burdened down by a handlebar tache that would have got him the gig as the sixth Village Person, and at which he subsequently excelled nationally in the veterans age groups  at 400 and 800 metres, coming second in the British Championships in 2019, Norman’s love of football led him to explore the local amateur game, often in the company of his good mate Martin Kelly. Another close friend of his, the late Gary Hull, who I sadly never had the pleasure of meeting, got Norman involved with Percy Main Amateurs during the 2001/2002 season and the rest is history, including several appearances on the field when playing resources demanded. Hence why the NFA have marked his silver jubilee with this prestigious and richly deserved award.

I first met Norman, though he didn’t realise it at the time as his mind was on other things, on February 11^th, 2006. Those who know the history of the Main will recognise this as the date of the infamous Battle of Grounsell Park when, as the clock ticked almost towards the 90^th minute, a dull stalemate between Heaton Stan and Percy Main suddenly erupted into a huge free for all, more akin to a taxi rank pagger on Christmas Eve in the good old days than a football match. As the entire Stan squad, other than the eminently sensible solicitor Russell Ward, sought to attack the legendary Alan Ryder, who was quite happy to take them all on, the Percy team (including such famous and perhaps infamous characters like Ian Hall, John Hunt, Richard Lognonne, Les Thompson and Rob Watson) sought to hold Ryder back. I’ll always remember Ryder throwing a flurry of punches with Bob Rodgerson hanging round his neck, attempting to restrain him. The game was abandoned, though the result stood. Arriving towards the end of the game Norman, attired in his British Gas overcoat as he’d just finished a shift, looked on in disbelief as the scene unfolded. The other bloke in the crowd (the Stan didn’t pull in 500+ back in the day) announced Shay Given had just saved a penalty in a 2-1 Toon win at Villa Park but tempered this by saying “mind this is more exciting.” It was, and I’ll never forget the look of horrified bafflement on Norman’s dial that day.

I properly met Norman at the end of that season, when we took in Boldon CA 2 Annfield Plain 5 in the Wearside League. We hit it off immediately and I soon became a regular visitor to Purvis Park, until I eventually joined the committee in summer 2009. Basically I fell in love with the club, the ground and even the rickety old pavilion. That was back during the Jason Ritchie Percy Warriors era, and I wrote my book Village Voice about the tumultuous promotion season and Combination Cup win of 2009/2010. Norman features prominently in the book (free copies available to anybody who wants one), because I learned that season, and have never forgotten since, just how much devoted effort and many underappreciated hours of graft, both administrative and physical, the bloke puts into the club, never asking for gratitude or a penny piece in return.

I wouldn’t say that Norman is wholly responsible for the continued existence of Percy Main Amateurs, as Bob Rodgerson has worked hand in glove with Norman over all the years I’ve followed the Main. These two, plus Geordie, Keith, Chris, Michelle, Steve, Julie and latterly David and Mark from the newly established Under 18 team, are the ones who keep this club going. Several of us are already in possession of our OAP bus passes, so the concept of succession planning is always in our minds. Can you help in any way at all? No offer would ever be turned down. However, you’ve got a hard act to follow if Norman ever does call it a day.

If the fella does have a fault, it is in being a perfectionist, to the extent he really doesn’t like delegating stuff. Mainly because nobody does it quite as good as him, as Carly Simon almost said. Just cast your mind back to how the rest of us were running around like headless chickens, trying to remember everything that needed done when Norman was on his holidays at the start of the season and taking his annual trip to SJP for the Bournemouth game while we hosted Wallsend Boys Club Reserves.

Truly, Norman is an absolute hero, and I am honoured to know him, as well as constantly marvelling at his energy. Also, I’ll buy a pint to anyone who can tell me why I’ve given this piece the title I have done.

Cheers Norman. Enjoy the fame.

 

 

Ticking Over

NUFC; the first 7 games of 2025/2026

Saturday 19^th September was a good day, sports wise. Firstly, Percy Main Amateurs trounced Hadrian 7-1 to advance to the third round of the Northern Alliance George Dobbins League Cup, where we will play Bedlington away on Saturday October 17^th. Important day that; Cabaret Voltaire are playing The Boiler Shop on their farewell tour and Newcastle United play their next home game against Aston Villa with a 5.30 kick off. Secondly, Tynemouth 3s ended the season with a 26 run victory over Whitley Bay 2s to finish with a record of won 19, lost 2, meaning we won NTCL Division 6 South by a whopping margin of 116 points. Thirdly, and most relevantly for the purposes of this piece, NUFC completed their opening section of the season with a 2-1 home victory against Hull City. This was a highly important win for a number of reasons. Firstly, it showed the team could bounce back from the dreadful mauling at Leeds the Monday before and secondly it meant the club would sit nestled comfortably in the top half of the table, as well as through to the last 16 of the Carabou Cup, after the start of a season almost all of us viewed with both alarm and trepidation. Obviously, it is very early days, but the new players and new management are starting to bed in nicely, providing we take the Leeds game out of the equation.

It seems an age ago that we began the campaign at home to Liverpool, when the noise in the week leading up to that game had all been about the new training ground planned for Woolsingham. For no comprehensible reason, former employee of the House of Saud Denver Hird and his dismal band of half a dozen performative vanguardistas were up in arms about this, because the land was being purchased from old Wynyard Hall himself. Presumably if the vendors had been the estate of Bob Crow or Peter Taaffe, that would have made things so much better. To be honest, this long overdue announcement is great news and I hope it will be followed by a statement that we are staying at SJP, with a massively extended East Stand, so we can start calling it the New Stand again. It should be named the Kevin Keegan Stand, but that’s a different story.

Also, just before the Liverpool game, it was announced that BDB had been named the new club captain. His current status on the injured list has thus far rendered the title more of an honorific than a job, in the manner of the non-playing Ryder Cup role, but I don’t mind if he takes a Jamaal Lascelles role as a squad paterfamilias rather than an integral part of the side. I will concede we could have done with his no nonsense approach at Elland Road mind you.

So we went into the Liverpool game with a sense of dread. I was expecting a 3-0 loss, but I can err towards the pessimistic. In the end, we came out with a point and could, perhaps, should have taken all 3. From the very off, the players performed with a passion and intensity so missing from last season. Looking at the team, the only change I would have made to the starting XI would have been Ramsey in for Steur, as it was such a high-profile game to make your debut in and, crucially, Ramsey is a bloody good player.  To be honest, all the debutants did well, but the real star was Wissa, who played like the bloke I thought we’d signed from Brentford. He still should have scored and if he had, we would have won. It did warm my heart to see The Rat play so abominably. His cowardice in not taking the penalty has been overstated, however. Szoboszlai is a beautiful striker of the ball and always had his name on that one. Yes, the penalty was soft, but Hall was left with the choice of either attempting a challenge and risking a foul or allowing Munoz to waltz past him and presumably still score. Munoz should have been closed down long before he entered the area. All in all, an encouraging start, despite that late kick in the nads.

As tickets went on general sale for the West Brom Carabou Cup tie, I could have got myself there, but I chose to attend Bedlington v Percy Main instead, getting back home for the latter part of the second half. Just after I’d switched it on, Lewis Hall had been penalised for a handball, and they made it 2-2 from the spot. Thankfully it wasn’t as costly as the Liverpool concession. Hall then hit the post, before Barnes, who had been fairly anonymous against Liverpool, scored a picture book team goal winner. We had a strong team on at the end and eased through to the next round. Equally importantly, Nico Gonzalez arrived from Man City and was introduced to the crowd before kick-off. This was another encouraging display.

Be honest, don’t you wish in retrospect that we’d lost at home to West Ham at the tail end of last season so Spurs could have been relegated? Everybody hates Spurs and it is a delightful situation that, at the time of writing, they sit at the bottom of the table. This is fitting considering Tel must be the worst striker in the country, not just the Premier League. What price Tonali disappearing on loan to Milan in the January window? You heard it here first. Contrast his non-performance in our 2-0 win with the excellence of Gonzalez. His diagonal pass to Dedic was a thing of beauty for Elanga’s splendid opener. Alright, so we’d been under the cosh, in terms of possession, for about 30 minutes, but they created nothing and we scored a pair of blinding finishes to secure a deserved win. If Woltemade’s last performance for us was to be this one, it is sort of fitting that his assist for Wissa’s excellent goal was an accidental cushioning of the ball off his face. Good luck Big Nick. If Jaissle can’t get a tune out of you, then perhaps England isn’t for you.

Deadline day passed quietly, with a couple of loan departures, like Sean Neave to Wolves, which could be a good move. However, there was one important event that week; the launch of Dan Jackson’s people’s history of Newcastle United, Howay the Lads, at the Irish Centre that featured a talk-in with Harry Pearson. Obviously, as Harry and Deren needed to be at The Cluny to see A Tribe Called Quest, this had to run like clockwork. And it did. A packed room and an enthusiastic audience, including a few of those timid anti-social types who struggle in large social gatherings, and two raconteurs chewing the fat about the club across the road. No sign of the former employee of the House of Saud and his half a dozen incompetent gauleiters, the chronophiliac PIF apologists or the Zionists from down the street and all the better for it, as there were no daft questions.

I read Dan’s book very quickly after this. I’d loved The Northumbrians (and I’m even getting stuck into Popular Opposition to Irish Home Rule in Edwardian Britain at the minute). I’m delighted to confirm that Howay the Lads is as engagingly written, persuasively argued and immaculately researched as his earlier books. Sad it doesn’t mention the stellar talent of Pat Heard, but you can’t have everything. Now I’ll admit that the older I get, the less engaged I am by the concept of the Geordie Nation and find myself at a remove from obsessive regional pride, possibly because my familial roots don’t extend back to the era when Newcastle United came into being and were at their most successful. However, I’m very proud of the history of our club, even if I’m still vehemently opposed to the current ownership (and almost all the owners prior to the PIF if I’m honest), and this book is a fitting tribute to 134 years of club history, even if the almost effusively optimistic tone dates it as having been written in 2025 rather than 2026. Being honest, it’s the best book about Newcastle United I’ve ever read. I was especially touched to see friends of mine such as Graham Bull, Bill Corcoran and the dearly remembered Ken Sproat (RIP) getting mentions. I’ll forgive Dan the soft-pedalling over the takeover and Amanda Stavely’s role because of that. A splendid book by a splendid writer.

These days, the clubs to be admire in the Premier League are the Bs, for being well run, trading superbly and playing football that is easy on the eye. Not just Brentford, but Brighton and Bournemouth as well. All 3 of them seem to have some sort of hex on us and I wasn’t surprised to hear we were 2-0 down at home to Bournemouth by the time I took my place, hiding at mid-wicket, for Tynemouth 3s as we took on Percy Main 2s. With Percy Main at home to Wallsend Boys Club Reserves (won1-0) on the other side of the hedge, this was as close as I could get to sporting nirvana, especially as we eventually prevailed by 6 wickets. My mood was similarly elevated by learning at drinks in the first innings that NUFC had come back from the dead to earn a 2-2 draw. Well done. That shows a degree of spirit and resilience that was again so absent last year. What a goal by Barnes eh? I also enjoyed the build up to Ramsey’s equaliser. It mightn’t seem much in the course of things, but I thought this was a great result. Of course there was the usual on-line meltdown as we’d not won 6-0, but that’s to be expected. One thing that did shock me was seeing Pope on the bench. It is telling that after a total of 17 games thus far for Newcastle and Southampton, neither Pope nor Ramsdale have played a single second of first team football. In Ramsdale’s case, he hasn’t even been in a match day squad as yet. That is a fairly telling development and an indication of where many of our 2025/2026 problems stemmed from.

Anyway, on to Millwall in the second round of the Carabou Cup. For the first time this season, I stirred out with Knaggsy for a pint. We won 1-0, Hall was brilliant, Murphy was awful and that is really all you could say about this one. Nice to see a dog in the away end of course.

Almost a week later came the debacle at Elland Road. An utter shit show. A total tanking. Is there nothing we can say in mitigation? Well, losing Gonzalez to concussion didn’t help, nor did Ramsey’s absence after pulling up in the warm up, not to mention Elanga’s training ground injury. These 3 added to a sick list already comprising Burn, Dedic, Jaouen, Joelinton and Livramento meant we were down to bare bones. No excuse for playing so woefully mind, but at least we put things right, after a fashion, against Hull.

With almost 3 weeks before the next game, Coventry away on a Monday night, Jaissle has time to work with the players, to instil and embed his methods, while the medical staff can earn their corn by rehabilitating the walking wounded. We might even learn what vertical football means. Being honest though, two wins, two draws and a solitary loss is a better return than I’d dared hope for. Unlike Steve Bruce’s understanding of the term, this is what I’d call ticking over. Everton away in the Carabou Cup isn’t easy, but it is winnable. As the next 5 are on the telly, I’ll be watching proceedings with interest, before commenting again after the Fulham game, which isn’t.

Incidentally, I see Howe has been linked with both the Celtic and Manchester United jobs. Either of them would be a good shout for him I reckon.  Smaller clubs than NUFC with a more patient fan base. He could be on to a winner. I’d like him to go to Hibs though, but I know he won’t.

 

 

 

 

Hedgehopping

An optimistic end to the 2026 season at Tynemouth Cricket Club...

The Tynemouth CC end of season do in September 2025 was a bit of a sombre affair. While the 2s had done alright, both the 1s and 3s had been relegated; the former unluckily, but the latter ignominiously. Having played for the 3s in 14 of our 18 games (we conceded 4 being unable to raise a team), I’d experienced our sole win (by 1 wicket) and lone abandonment (when we had Anfield Plain 61/9 before the heavens opened), as well as the cancelled game at Monkseaton. Other than that, I’d also been part of a side, sometimes with only 10 players, that was crushed 15 times. It wasn’t fun, but I was still proud to represent my club and felt keen to continue playing in 2026, if at all possible.

Last Saturday, we had our 2026 end of season soiree, where the mood was a lot better than 12 months previous. The 1s had done well, finishing 3^rd to cement a place in the middle tier of the new NEPL structure for 2027, while the 2s had managed to avoid the drop on the final day. Best of all perhaps, the 3s had stormed to the NTCL Division 6 title by over 100 points. With a game to go, against tailenders Whitley Bay at the natural amphitheatre on Hillheads Road, the team had reached the semi-final of the cup, losing to eventual winners Benwell & Walbottle, but shone in the league. At the time of writing, we have won 18 games and lost 2. In total, I appeared in 2 cup games and the grand total of 2 Saturday fixtures. I didn’t bat and I only bowled a single over (1-0-3-1), but you know what? I’m elated and honoured to have featured at all. Under skipper Martin Pollard, TCC 3s have been transformed from a bunch of habitual losers to a side that knows how to dig deep and win ugly, as 2-wicket victories over Stocksfield and Benwell & Walbottle have shown. The old guard of willing hands and pressed men, who turned out from a sense of duty rather than in any expectation of being able to compete, have been supplanted by the maturing lads of the dads, who have made this season a memorable one for all the right reasons.

I last blogged about cricket (https://payaso-de-mierda.blogspot.com/2026/07/decreased.html) in the middle of July. At that time, I was struggling to accept my time had passed as a player. It wasn’t just the not playing that got to me, it was the slackening of the social ties that had been such a massive part of my life for more than a decade. I’d found it impossible to go and watch the 3s play, or any of the other TCC teams, because I felt a fraud and a failure. Yet, thankfully, I got over this enduring, self-inflicted misery to the extent that I am not only here sitting typing this in a Tynemouth shirt but also made it to the end of season do, chatting with just about everyone in the room and applauding lustily each award announcement. Even better, I made probably my farewell appearance for TCC 3s, save for utter emergencies, at Percy Main on September 6^th. I did nowt while we won by 6 wickets, but Christ it was so good to be out there one last time, even if I did feel I’d been thrown out of a second storey window next morning. Kudos those young’uns, such as 49 year old Poll, who managed to turn out on the Sunday as well and to beat Kirkley. You have both my admiration and insane jealousy at your youth and health.

So, how did we get to this point? The first game after my last blog was Percy Main CC 2s at home. I’d been to watch Percy Main Amateurs down the road in a friendly against North Shields Athletic at John Spence High School, but I turned up after this to see the 3s complete an 8-wicket win. I’m not pretending it wasn’t hard to walk through the gate and onto the back field, but I did it. Nobody questioned my presence or previous absences, not because I don’t matter (I don’t really), but because I’d inflated this minor issue of my incompetence and decrepitude into something far more existentially serious than it needed to be. I was genuinely overjoyed to see them win and I knew it hadn’t any rejection of me, just a sensible decision for the good of the team and the club as a whole.

In the football season, not playing cricket isn’t so bad really, as there’s always something else to do. On July 25^th, TCC 3s beat Monkseaton 2s by 83 runs, but I was otherwise engaged at Seaton Carew 0 Newbiggin 3 in Northern League Division 2. The Northern Alliance kicked off on August 1^st, and I was on duty at Percy Main 3 Whitley Bay Sporting Club 0, while the 3s were pulling off an absolutely crucial 2 wicket win over Stocksfield 3s. The week after, the 3s beat Lintz 2s by 43 runs while I did a bit of groundhopping in Alliance D3 at Westgate 4 Hadrian 2. August 15^th saw me back at Purvis Park, seeing Percy Main despatch Haltwhistle Jubilee 3-0, while TCC won in equally emphatic terms, beating Whitley Bay 2s by 93 runs. The week after was a blank one for TCC 3s (hence the Sunday game against Kirkley 2s on September 6^th), so I was able to see the Main dispose of Stobswood Welfare 3-1 with a clear conscience. The 3s achieved promotion on August 29^th with a 60 run victory over Monkseaton 2s, while I watched Percy Main lose 4-2 at Hexham.

The following Monday, I received a message from Poll, who had previously promised me one last hurrah, if at all possible, telling me not to make any other plans for Saturday. It was Percy Main 2s away, taking place while Percy Main Amateurs would be hosting Wallsend Boys Club Reserves on the other side of the hedge, Simply put, this was sporting perfection for me, and I could have kissed him. I didn’t obviously, but I took him at his word when he told me, “just enjoy it.” I did, in the main (no pun intended), but what was very clear to me, 25 days after I’d turned 62, is that parts of my body I didn’t think had worn worn out, are actually starting to let me down.

The aches and pains in my shoulders, lumbar region, calves, knees and ankles aren’t the worst of it. The main problem is my eyesight. I was told back in May that I’ve got cataracts, with the one in my right eye significantly worse than the one in my left. Crucially though, it isn’t bad enough to require laser removal as yet. What happens is, most days, I wake up with blurred vision in my right eye, that makes it look like there’s mist around. Not a peasouper or a sea fret, but just early morning obscurity. It doesn’t stop me reading, watching telly or anything else, but it makes things in the distance slightly indistinct. This is a problem when the object in question is a red cricket ball coming out of a background made up of a thicket of trees. On the ground, allowing for age and infirmity, that isn’t an issue, but in the air on my right hand side, it is difficult to see it properly. Is this a health and safety issue? Possibly, and others had apparently mentioned it after I’d failed to pick the ball out in the Monkseaton 2s cup win back in June. That night I was foolishly wearing sunglasses. Against Percy Main 2s, I dispensed with them entirely, despite it being a very sunny day. This certainly helped. As regards my cataracts, I’ll just have to wait for my annual sight check to see what the next moves are in terms of treatment or management.

The vision issue didn’t stop me standing in our innings, as I enjoyed Tom Rayner clubbing a delightful 39* as we made the 86 required in 18 overs. This win made us Champions, and I felt so proud and so honoured to be part of things on that special day, especially as the Main beat Wallsend 1-0 as well. As I said though, I couldn’t move properly enough to come down and cheer the 3s on for their 33 run victory over Kirkley the next day. This brings us up to September 12^th, and a trip to rustic Gallagher Park for a Northumberland FA Minor Cup Round 1 tie that finished Bedlington United 1 Percy Main 5. Scrounging a lift back, I arrived just after TCC 3s lost our first wicket for 22 in pursuit of 153 against Benwell & Walbottle. By the start of the next over, I was on umpiring duties and stayed there until the game was done as we scrambled home by 2 wickets with 9 balls to spare.

My lower back was throbbing by the time we hit the clubhouse. It was a great evening. I resolved to keep the ties with TCC tight, to the extent that I’ll be back watching every week next Summer, football commitments allowing. And, if required, I’ll start writing the weekly reports again that I didn’t do this year, even if nobody seems to have noticed their absence. Also, and this is where it gets interesting, we’re thinking of starting up a midweek social side for all of us too aged, infirm and incapable to get into the 3s. Never say never eh? I’ll certainly be keeping my eyes peeled….