It seems an age ago that we began the campaign at home to Liverpool, when the noise in the week leading up to that game had all been about the new training ground planned for Woolsingham. For no comprehensible reason, former employee of the House of Saud Denver Hird and his dismal band of half a dozen performative vanguardistas were up in arms about this, because the land was being purchased from old Wynyard Hall himself. Presumably if the vendors had been the estate of Bob Crow or Peter Taaffe, that would have made things so much better. To be honest, this long overdue announcement is great news and I hope it will be followed by a statement that we are staying at SJP, with a massively extended East Stand, so we can start calling it the New Stand again. It should be named the Kevin Keegan Stand, but that’s a different story.
Also, just before the Liverpool game, it was announced that BDB had been named the new club captain. His current status on the injured list has thus far rendered the title more of an honorific than a job, in the manner of the non-playing Ryder Cup role, but I don’t mind if he takes a Jamaal Lascelles role as a squad paterfamilias rather than an integral part of the side. I will concede we could have done with his no nonsense approach at Elland Road mind you.
So we went into the Liverpool game with a sense of dread. I was expecting a 3-0 loss, but I can err towards the pessimistic. In the end, we came out with a point and could, perhaps, should have taken all 3. From the very off, the players performed with a passion and intensity so missing from last season. Looking at the team, the only change I would have made to the starting XI would have been Ramsey in for Steur, as it was such a high-profile game to make your debut in and, crucially, Ramsey is a bloody good player. To be honest, all the debutants did well, but the real star was Wissa, who played like the bloke I thought we’d signed from Brentford. He still should have scored and if he had, we would have won. It did warm my heart to see The Rat play so abominably. His cowardice in not taking the penalty has been overstated, however. Szoboszlai is a beautiful striker of the ball and always had his name on that one. Yes, the penalty was soft, but Hall was left with the choice of either attempting a challenge and risking a foul or allowing Munoz to waltz past him and presumably still score. Munoz should have been closed down long before he entered the area. All in all, an encouraging start, despite that late kick in the nads.
As tickets went on general sale for the West Brom Carabou Cup tie, I could have got myself there, but I chose to attend Bedlington v Percy Main instead, getting back home for the latter part of the second half. Just after I’d switched it on, Lewis Hall had been penalised for a handball, and they made it 2-2 from the spot. Thankfully it wasn’t as costly as the Liverpool concession. Hall then hit the post, before Barnes, who had been fairly anonymous against Liverpool, scored a picture book team goal winner. We had a strong team on at the end and eased through to the next round. Equally importantly, Nico Gonzalez arrived from Man City and was introduced to the crowd before kick-off. This was another encouraging display.
Be honest, don’t you wish in retrospect that we’d lost at home to West Ham at the tail end of last season so Spurs could have been relegated? Everybody hates Spurs and it is a delightful situation that, at the time of writing, they sit at the bottom of the table. This is fitting considering Tel must be the worst striker in the country, not just the Premier League. What price Tonali disappearing on loan to Milan in the January window? You heard it here first. Contrast his non-performance in our 2-0 win with the excellence of Gonzalez. His diagonal pass to Dedic was a thing of beauty for Elanga’s splendid opener. Alright, so we’d been under the cosh, in terms of possession, for about 30 minutes, but they created nothing and we scored a pair of blinding finishes to secure a deserved win. If Woltemade’s last performance for us was to be this one, it is sort of fitting that his assist for Wissa’s excellent goal was an accidental cushioning of the ball off his face. Good luck Big Nick. If Jaissle can’t get a tune out of you, then perhaps England isn’t for you.
Deadline day passed quietly, with a couple of loan departures, like Sean Neave to Wolves, which could be a good move. However, there was one important event that week; the launch of Dan Jackson’s people’s history of Newcastle United, Howay the Lads, at the Irish Centre that featured a talk-in with Harry Pearson. Obviously, as Harry and Deren needed to be at The Cluny to see A Tribe Called Quest, this had to run like clockwork. And it did. A packed room and an enthusiastic audience, including a few of those timid anti-social types who struggle in large social gatherings, and two raconteurs chewing the fat about the club across the road. No sign of the former employee of the House of Saud and his half a dozen incompetent gauleiters, the chronophiliac PIF apologists or the Zionists from down the street and all the better for it, as there were no daft questions.
I read Dan’s book very quickly after this. I’d loved The Northumbrians (and I’m even getting stuck into Popular Opposition to Irish Home Rule in Edwardian Britain at the minute). I’m delighted to confirm that Howay the Lads is as engagingly written, persuasively argued and immaculately researched as his earlier books. Sad it doesn’t mention the stellar talent of Pat Heard, but you can’t have everything. Now I’ll admit that the older I get, the less engaged I am by the concept of the Geordie Nation and find myself at a remove from obsessive regional pride, possibly because my familial roots don’t extend back to the era when Newcastle United came into being and were at their most successful. However, I’m very proud of the history of our club, even if I’m still vehemently opposed to the current ownership (and almost all the owners prior to the PIF if I’m honest), and this book is a fitting tribute to 134 years of club history, even if the almost effusively optimistic tone dates it as having been written in 2025 rather than 2026. Being honest, it’s the best book about Newcastle United I’ve ever read. I was especially touched to see friends of mine such as Graham Bull, Bill Corcoran and the dearly remembered Ken Sproat (RIP) getting mentions. I’ll forgive Dan the soft-pedalling over the takeover and Amanda Stavely’s role because of that. A splendid book by a splendid writer.
These days, the clubs to be admire in the Premier League are the Bs, for being well run, trading superbly and playing football that is easy on the eye. Not just Brentford, but Brighton and Bournemouth as well. All 3 of them seem to have some sort of hex on us and I wasn’t surprised to hear we were 2-0 down at home to Bournemouth by the time I took my place, hiding at mid-wicket, for Tynemouth 3s as we took on Percy Main 2s. With Percy Main at home to Wallsend Boys Club Reserves (won1-0) on the other side of the hedge, this was as close as I could get to sporting nirvana, especially as we eventually prevailed by 6 wickets. My mood was similarly elevated by learning at drinks in the first innings that NUFC had come back from the dead to earn a 2-2 draw. Well done. That shows a degree of spirit and resilience that was again so absent last year. What a goal by Barnes eh? I also enjoyed the build up to Ramsey’s equaliser. It mightn’t seem much in the course of things, but I thought this was a great result. Of course there was the usual on-line meltdown as we’d not won 6-0, but that’s to be expected. One thing that did shock me was seeing Pope on the bench. It is telling that after a total of 17 games thus far for Newcastle and Southampton, neither Pope nor Ramsdale have played a single second of first team football. In Ramsdale’s case, he hasn’t even been in a match day squad as yet. That is a fairly telling development and an indication of where many of our 2025/2026 problems stemmed from.
Anyway, on to Millwall in the second round of the Carabou Cup. For the first time this season, I stirred out with Knaggsy for a pint. We won 1-0, Hall was brilliant, Murphy was awful and that is really all you could say about this one. Nice to see a dog in the away end of course.
Almost a week later came the debacle at Elland Road. An utter shit show. A total tanking. Is there nothing we can say in mitigation? Well, losing Gonzalez to concussion didn’t help, nor did Ramsey’s absence after pulling up in the warm up, not to mention Elanga’s training ground injury. These 3 added to a sick list already comprising Burn, Dedic, Jaouen, Joelinton and Livramento meant we were down to bare bones. No excuse for playing so woefully mind, but at least we put things right, after a fashion, against Hull.
With almost 3 weeks before the next game, Coventry away on a Monday night, Jaissle has time to work with the players, to instil and embed his methods, while the medical staff can earn their corn by rehabilitating the walking wounded. We might even learn what vertical football means. Being honest though, two wins, two draws and a solitary loss is a better return than I’d dared hope for. Unlike Steve Bruce’s understanding of the term, this is what I’d call ticking over. Everton away in the Carabou Cup isn’t easy, but it is winnable. As the next 5 are on the telly, I’ll be watching proceedings with interest, before commenting again after the Fulham game, which isn’t.
Incidentally, I see Howe has been linked with both the Celtic and Manchester United jobs. Either of them would be a good shout for him I reckon. Smaller clubs than NUFC with a more patient fan base. He could be on to a winner. I’d like him to go to Hibs though, but I know he won’t.
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