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My 2026 cricket season with Tynemouth 3s, such as it has been...

From mid-April to mid-September, my life (especially on a Saturday afternoon) has been dedicated to the most beautiful game, specifically Tynemouth Cricket Club and, in recent years, the honour of turning out for TCC 3s in the Northumberland and Tyneside Cricket League. It would be fair to say 2025 didn’t go entirely to plan for our lot. Of the 22 league games we were scheduled to play, we won 2 (the first of them by default as the opponents played a ringer and the other by 1 wicket), saw one cancelled because of rain, we had another abandoned when we had Annfield Plain 61/9, lost 14 and, most sickening of all, conceded 4 because we couldn’t raise a team. As a result we finished rock bottom of Division 5 Central and were relegated by 142 points. From a personal perspective, I played in 13 games, as well as being available for all 4 concessions, scored 16 runs (top score of 6 in the first game at home to South North), took 4 wickets (including the last one of the season) and bagged 2 catches, both very straightforward. According to play cricket, I was the 76,549^th best recreational cricketer in the country last season and 54^th MVP player for Tynemouth. Get in, eh?

Obviously, it is a team game and clearly, something had to change if TCC 3s were to continue as a competitive outfit, as we’ve dropped into the very bottom division of local league cricket. The first, and most important change, was that Martin Pollard replaced Richy Hay as captain. Let me say immediately that these two blokes are probably my closest friends at TCC. Richy spent most of last season playing for the 2s, as player shortages across the whole club constantly saw the best players from the 3s cherry picked to fill gaps higher up. Richy has stated on many occasions that he wished to play at the highest level possible, for which no one can blame him, so as he continues to appear mainly for the 2s, thus this was an eminently sensible decision. Especially when he was succeeded by the legendary NEPL great Polly who, after a stellar career at the highest local level for more than a quarter of a century, stepped away from captaining TCC 1s after a bruising campaign that ended in their relegation as well. Not only has Polly starred for Ashington, Blaydon, Hetton Lyons and Tynemouth over the years, he has also recovered from cancer that almost ended his career. In typical fairytale fashion, his first game back after recovery a few years back was for the 3s, when he took his first senior hat trick. Modesty prevents me from mentioning who took a juggling catch at mid-off to set him on this journey.

As I’ve mentioned quite a few times in these blogs, I started to work pretty intensely on my fitness over last winter, mainly to try and be of more use to the team when the time came. Not only did the cardio work help me shift two and a half stones and counting, but I also started building up my shoulder strength, as I suffer from a frozen right one and a touch of arthritis in the left. Frankly, trying to bowl during the last couple of years was incredibly painful and I simply couldn’t move freely enough to bowl adequately any longer, nor even throw overarm. The gym stuff worked on my shoulders to the extent I can now throw overarm without pain, though also without any power, and have enough movement to bowl again. I still don’t have any ability, but that’s a different matter. I only made one TCC net session in March, as it is impossible to get from Heaton to Gosforth by public transport these days, but I enjoyed it enormously, especially when I got the 1s skipper Dan McGee out. At the TCC AGM in early April, I asked Poll if there was any chance of a game this season and his reply was non-committal, along the lines of needing to see what availability was like. Because it wasn’t a flat out rejection, I paid my annual subs as soon as I got in that night and waited to see what the season would bring. The simple facts are that availability has increased exponentially with young players coming through to play senior cricket, as well as a number of proficient new members signing up. Hence, I am effectively extraneous to requirements. This was a day I knew was coming, but not one I ever wanted to face.

In the event, being surplus to requirements meant I got to do a reverse Chris Balderstone and see the football season through with Percy Main, as well as visiting a few other grounds. Despite making myself available for every cricket game, bar Saturday May 2^nd when I was in Cork and Limerick, I wasn’t required for the opening quartet of fixtures. As we won the opening trio by 9 wickets, 129 runs and 7 wickets, that seems to have been a sensible choice as, being honest, I’m probably the worst playing member at TCC. Actually, there’s no probably about it.

The fourth fixture, after a free weekend, saw us lose to Stocksfield on a Sunday. When it became clear I wouldn’t be involved in that one, I focussed on Newcastle versus West Ham instead. As it appeared that I didn’t need to write weekly match reports about TCC any longer, or at least I wasn’t asked to, the need to watch the 1s diminished and I saw out the rest of the football season, dropping into a few Alliance games at grounds I’d not been to. I’d started to feel otiose and didn’t particularly want to hang around the club like Banquo’s ghost in whites.

Then, out of the blue, I received an email message that made my heart sing. I had been selected to play away to Lintz 2s on Saturday 23^rd May. The bizarre structure of NTCL Division 6 Central means that the 8 teams play each other 3 times over the season; some you play twice at home and some twice away. This was the second away fixture to Lintz, a mere fortnight after the previous contest and player availability on Whit weekend was pretty low. It had to have been if the offer of a game was extended to me. Honestly, I guarantee not one potential player at TCC would have been happier than I was to get the call up, as I regard every time I’m selected to be an enormous honour. I was so excited, I slept pretty poorly the night before. I agree with Lord Denning about the beauty of Lintz’s ground, and they are a club I have both respect and affection for. The last time I’d been here, I took a couple of wickets (one bowled and one caught at deep long on), then marvelled at Keano’s brilliant unbeaten 150, which helped us win by 6 wickets.

This time it was a glorious summer afternoon up in the hills. I took a lift with Alosh and a new player Ben, who is a bloody good addition to the side. Just being involved in the pre match kickabout and fielding practice made me feel not just alive but elated. In the end, I didn’t bat or bowl, but I did make one of my trademark full length dives to save 4, as well as producing a nifty bit of footwork to save 2 in my new fielding position of midwicket, after a brief unsuccessful stint at slip, which isn’t a bad effort on this tiny ground. In the end, we won by 8 wickets in less than 14 overs after skittling them for 101. I did my bit by standing at square leg during our innings and thoroughly enjoyed the experience, as well as the post-match Cruzcampo in the bar. It was just so life-affirming to be involved again.

I was even more elated to keep my place for the midweek Enid Farmer Cup game against Whitley Bay on the following Wednesday. We batted first and I took up my usual role at square leg for about 16 overs. Being attired in t-shirt and shorts on a blustery evening, I soon felt the chill and had to go off to change as I risked suffering from exposure, before fielding. I had enjoyed our batting mind, as we piled up 218/4 from 20 overs, with Chad (82*), Poll (76) and Ben (27*) making hay while the wind blew. Their most successful bowler was 78 year old former Tynemouth legend Don Catley (2/35), who somehow is still turning out. When it came to their innings, I was again stationed at midwicket and, with them 53/9, I was given the chance to bowl. Funereally slow, off three paces, I plopped them in the vague direction of the stumps, conceding 3 from my first 5 balls. The last one, with the umpire encouraging me to take a wicket so he could get in his car and warm up, saw me bowl Don Catley, in perhaps the most titanic sporting struggle since Ali v Frazier. A big swipe and he missed it. Later he claimed he hadn’t seen it, which shows what pace I’ve put on over the winter. I’m not ashamed to say I celebrated taking the wicket, mainly because of the rarity value of such a happening. If this is the last time I ever claim a victim, it will be a great memory; on the front pitch at my home club, bowling from my preferred end. Priceless.

We won by 156 runs, and I assumed that I’d not be needed on the Saturday when, because of the bizarre fixture list, we were due to play Whitley Bay again, also at home, but on the back pitch this time. Sure enough, I wasn’t named in the team, so decided to get out early for the Percy Main football end of season awards do. I was standing at the bus stop around noon, when Polly texted me to say we were a player short. In retrospect, I should have changed plans and jumped in an Uber, but I cried off and took no part in a 59 run victory. Thankfully, another player was sourced, though I really don’t think my failure to heed the call has reduced my subsequent chances of turning out for TCC 3s. Strangely, I saw part of Lintz 2s recovery from the previous week as they thumped Percy Main 2s that afternoon, while waiting for the award ceremony to start on the other side of the hedge. With Arsenal losing the Champions’ League final, it was pretty much a perfect day.

I was even more delighted when the call came again to play in the next round of the Enid Farmer Cup on the following Thursday, when we hosted Monkseaton 2s. The game had been in doubt, as glorious sunshine gave way to rain which kept on coming from the Sunday to the Wednesday. Thankfully, Thursday stayed dry, so the strong winds and persistent sunshine meant we could play after all. We batted; I was assigned my usual number 11 spot and took my place at square leg. At the change round, things looked promising as we compiled 160/5. They were determined, aided by a battling 65 by the aptly named David Gowar, but superb death bowling by Poll saw us squeak home by a dozen runs, earning us a spot in the quarter final. I didn’t get a bowl and made a couple of poor attempts at fielding, partly because of wearing sunglasses in the blinding sun at one end (sensible) and pitch blackness at the other (stupid). I’ll hold my hand up and admit I should have done better. Sorry everyone. Afterwards, Alosh gave me a lift back and I ended up in Elder Beer. The first song I heard as I cradled my first pint was Roy Harper’s sublime “When an Old Cricketer Leaves the Crease.” Never has a song been more apt.

Since that night, June 4^th, I’ve not played at all and nor did I watch any cricket. I honestly didn’t feel able to go to TCC. I know that sounds stupid, but I can’t properly explain how much of a fraud I would have felt watching my team. As Tommy Lee Jones says in No Country for Old Men; I need to get over it.  

This is how I spent my weekends: Saturday 6^th June; TCC 3s beat Monkseaton 2s by 4 wickets and I went to Durham for the day. Saturday 13^th June; TCC 3s lost to Stocksfield 2s by 2 runs and I went to see The Pale White and a load of other local bands at Anarchy Brewery. Saturday 20^th June; TCC 3s beat Percy Main 2s by 133 runs while I went to town and bought some boxer shorts from Primark. Saturday 27^th June; TCC 3s beat Benwell & Walbottle 2s by 40 runs and I cut down (pollarded?) most of the hugely overgrown hedge in my back garden. Saturday 4^th July: TCC 3s beat Kirkley 2s by 6 wickets while I was at Percy Main 0 North Shields 3 in the first pre-season friendly. I enjoyed Durham, loved The Pale White gig, needed new boxers, felt a sense of achievement with the hedge and did my duty on the door at Percy Main. Yet I would have traded all of those to be part of my old team, regardless of the results.

I accepted my fate for the first three of those fixtures, because I couldn’t remotely have made any kind of a case that I deserved a game. However, I was a little disappointed not to be selected for the Percy Main game. Partly because they are bottom of the league (already almost 200 points behind TCC 3s) and partly because availability was quite low. This meant other part time shadow squad members were called up and 6 of the younger players were also playing for the NEPL Academy team on Sunday. I reasoned that having paid £120 in membership, I perhaps deserved a little more playing time. The very last thing I wanted to do was fall out with anyone, so in advance of the Percy Main game, I messaged Polly to politely ask him why I wasn’t getting a game. On the Tuesday afterwards he got back to me and said that basically selection policy was to pick the best 33 players available on a Saturday and ignore the Sunday Academy team. This was news to me. It’s eminently more sensible for the good of the club than having hopeless old duffers making a show of themselves. Unless you’re one of the hopeless old duffers of course.

If I’d known this was the policy back in April, I wouldn’t have shelled out £120 membership. Instead, there is an option for occasional players to pay £40 up front, plus £10 for a Saturday game and £5 for a midweek one. Because I’d effectively spent £20 on match fees, Polly suggested the club should refund me £60. Without going into the whole psychological trauma my utter lack of self-esteem making me feel excluded and ignored, even what that patently isn’t the case, I can understand where the selection committee are coming from. Teams aren’t picked for sentimental reasons, but to try and win games, not just fulfil them like last year. Still I would say that the selection policy was poorly communicated. To be honest, I didn’t want or need the money back and I’d have much preferred the club to keep my cash, but as I felt so excluded and divorced from my former team, I took the £60 and spent it on solo boozing to take my mind off just how low I felt. That’s nothing really to do with cricket, as when I’ve come to the end of an extended time with bands or football teams in the past, the divorce pangs I feel really do sting.

I do sincerely hope I can make another appearance in one of the last 10 fixtures, just so I can fully appreciate the experience of being part of TCC 3s for the final time. However, I’m not sure if that will be the case. I also wished I could go back and watch a game, sitting in the sun at my joint favourite sporting location (along with Purvis Park and Easter Road), but so far I’ve just been too embarrassed and sad to show my face, as I felt a completely worthless fraud with no business mingling with proper players.

However, I put a brave face on Saturday 11^th July. The 3s were without a game, but the 1s were at home to Boldon. I made it there from the start and saw Tynemouth pile on 253/9, with Sean Longstaff, during the World Cup, proving himself to be one of the planet’s best number 10s. Well, he came in at 10, scored 10 and had 1/10 when the heavens opened at tea, with Boldon 95/5. Game abandoned, but what the hell. I’d been back, I’d talked to everyone and I’d had a brilliant afternoon. What’s more, on Saturday 18^th July, TCC 3s host Percy Main 2s. Fully expecting not to be involved, I think I’ll stroll along to watch if, after I’ve seen Percy Main Amateurs away to North Shields Athletic at 12.30. I’m still available for selection mind….