Steps Forward

Newcastle United; not a bad old month....

The last time I blogged about Newcastle United (https://payaso-de-mierda.blogspot.com/2024/03/drowning.html), things were looking grim. We’d just been timidly ejected from the FA Cup by a Man City team who didn’t need to change out of their slippers to sedately progress to the semi-finals. Not only that, but circumstances were also coming to a head in the Premier League, to the extent that it was more than likely we’d find ourselves in the bottom half within days. Still, look where we were two years ago eh? This set of unpromising circumstances resulted in Mental Mickey completely blowing a gasket and lashing out in every possible direction in his weekly diatribe as we had lost a game of football: owners, management, players and fans, especially the on-line hotheads, were all castigated from on high. I’m not sure whether someone staged an intervention or not, but he disappeared into the ether for a few weeks rest and recuperation, before returning in a more temperate frame of mind a couple of days ago with an anodyne missive that could have been cut and pasted from Lee Ryder’s Big Book of Obsequious Cliches.

After his latest meltdown, I reflected that, with about 2 notable exceptions, the entire cast of beautiful people who’ve set themselves up as the advanced sections of Newcastle United support, whether it’s the True Farce clowns, Denver and his band of Anti-Semitic Islamophobes or the Chronophilic Podcasting Pals of the House of Saud, are only in it for themselves. The Brainless Trust’s ultimate goal seems to be a narcissistic desire to get their grids and dull opinions all over Cyberland, with the accumulation of freebies and cash a distant second motive, rather than any wish to advance the cause of Newcastle United. The exceptions to this rule, as far as I’m concerned, are the fantastic folks behind the NUFC Food Bank collections who keep on grafting in a quiet, sincere way, for the benefit of the most vulnerable residents of our city. You know who these people are and, if you’ve any humility about you, you’ll agree with both my description of them and the fact I don’t need to name names, as they’re not in it for any kind of ego trip.

I think also that NUST are due for plenty of praise in how they are evolving. From a promising debut back in 2008, their integrity and raison d’etre fell away rapidly, to the extent that the organisation became a safe house for corrupt and craven fraudsters, including some who went to jail for getting their hands trapped in the till. A few years under the thumb of True Farce saw them turned into humourless, moribund, emasculated ideologues, more concerned with relentlessly pursuing vendettas against those who didn’t slavishly toe the line, but now, having emerged from that pitiful period, they’re getting on with the job they were formed to do in the first place. Namely, as the only properly constituted, organised member led supporters’ organisation that Newcastle United has, they’re here to ask the hard questions, about ticketing, prices and the future direction of the club as a whole (which is of considerably greater import than the results of the first team) that supporters need the answers to. The fact that one of their most prominent board members is a devoted Food Bank volunteer for every home game, unlike many of those, from the flaccid left to the rigid right, who sought to hijack NUST in the past, shows just how community oriented the Trust has become. Fair play to them and more power to their independent elbows.

During this last run of games, the Food Bank has had plenty of opportunities for collecting donations, with three home games out of the four we’ve played. On the pitch, things have gone quite well, with 10 points harvested from these fixtures, which has masked the latest injury horrors, with the current list of unavailable players extending to: Almiron, Botman, Joelinton, Lascelles, Miley, Pope, Trippier and Wilson. The most serious of the fresh injuries has to be Sven Botman’s, especially as he really ought to have had an operation when the problem first flared up, rather than just resting, which saw him return to the first team and produce performances in the manner of a glorified Boumsong impersonator, though as the eternally erudite @PercyCola pointed out on Twitter, he was astonished to discover that 920 of the 932 people he follows were experts in the diagnosis and treatment of cruciate ligament problems.

Then again, despite half the team hitting the canvas with an array of ailments, the magnificent West Ham game was the perfect explanation for just why we should simply try to enjoy the ride for the remainder of this mad and maddening never ending season. Winning it in an extended period of injury time caused by the endless series of hobble offs we were forced to endure was simply too perfect for words, rather like the winner by the rejuvenated Harvey Barnes. Of course, such a brilliant high could not be sustained. For all the fury occasioned by Dummett’s mindless foul that gave away a wholly unnecessary penalty that got a woeful Everton side out of jail, the fact is we should have been out of sight, were it not for some profligate finishing. The same was true at Craven Cottage, but this time it was the opposition who endlessly fluffed their lines in front of goal, allowing us to claim the three points courtesy of an astute and controlled Bruno goal. Fair play to him for going 10 games without a booking and playing as well as he has done in a Newcastle shirt for that time. Even more plaudits go to his countryman Joelinton, for signing a new deal that already starts to make next season’s midfield look a hell of a lot stronger than the one we’ve been forced into fielding since the turn of the year. Providing Tonali isn’t hit with another ban and has found a way to focus on his on-field responsibilities, we may just be able to achieve our full potential, providing the squad is radically pruned of deadwood and bolstered by quality additions in all areas.

It goes without saying we need to keep Isak, whose recent performances have been almost beyond superlatives. His pair of deadly finishes against the traditional visiting Spurs comedy troupe, were up there with the likes of Mbappe, Ibrahimovich and Harland, though I loved Schar’s exquisite, unmarked header as well. He really is the unsung hero of this team and almost as vital as Bruno, Gordon and Isak.

So, we’ve got 6 games of this campaign. After a free weekend because of the FA Cup semi-finals, we have Crystal Palace (A) on Wednesday 24^th, the Blades at home on the following Saturday, before moving into May at Turf Moor on the 4^th, then finishing our home campaign with the visit of Brighton on Saturday 11^th, with a pair of away trips to Old Trafford (Wednesday 15^th) and Brentford on Sunday 19^th. God how I’d love us to relegate that floppy haired paranoid gobshite on the last day, but I can’t see it happening. The reverse fixtures saw us accrue 15 points with a goal difference of 17-3, though I can’t see that happening now. However, if we play like we did against Spurs, there’s no reason to be frightened of any of those teams. Time will tell and I suppose I’ll be reflecting on those games once the season is over.