Erin go bragh 2021... dedicated to Jordan Moore
Saturday
February 6th started off pretty good. With Test Match Special on the
laptop and C4’s coverage on the telly, I passed the Keir Starmer patriotism
test by remaining glued to England’s innings as they batted beautifully to
amass 555/8 at stumps on day 2. The noise we heard for the next 16 hours was
the ghost of David Shepherd jigging the quintuple Nelson. By teatime, the
weather outside was frightful, while my ears were burning from the poisonous
mumblings of a pair of virtue signalling gobshites in St Pauli bobble hats,
one of them on his high horse and the other a bong eyed sycophant in possession
of a dirty sex dog. They still think they're delightful, slagging off rugby,
the disabled and the Labour Party, despite never having delivered a leaflet in
anger. Thankfully, this did not matter, as I had witnessed a miracle. Not 9-man
Newcastle United’s victory over Southampton, though that was largely
incredible, but the news that Boris Johnson was planning on doing something
good for the National Health Service. As ever, the Devil will be in the detail,
but outline plans to abandon the corrupt and wasteful tendering process as a
way to get local authorities working closer with NHS trusts can only be a good
thing.
The other piece of good news that slipped out is their intention to have all of us over 50s vaccinated by May. I’ll say this now and I’ll say this only once; anyone refusing a vaccine should be tagged, tattooed with their National Insurance Number, sequestrated of all benefits, property and possessions then forcefully quarantined, without any possibility of release, away from the rest of the population. Somewhere like South Moor Golf Club seems appropriate.
I’m approaching the as yet undefined day when post lockdown freedom arrives by spending a lot of my time on line, doing a bit of self-improvement you know. Learning things my teachers couldn’t teach, like the nugget of knowledge that the French word for the avian swallow is le hirondelle, which suggests to me that the generic, sickly sweet 80s white wine was given a punning title. Getting slightly darker was the translation sequence that consisted of le muguet –Lily of the Valley - la grive – thrush - infection vaginale par des levures…
Quickly closing that browser, I logged into PayPal in a consumerist frame of mind. Having collected all 51 issues of the Rothmans’ Football Yearbook over the past 6 weeks, I’ve purchased a 1978 Brasil Adidas tracky; just the top as if I got the yellow and green strides, I’d look like a white Rastafarian synthesis of an ageing LL Cole J and a sprightly Nelson Mandela. Got myself some Boss New Trabs (© Twitter); Karhu Albatrosses from Size? no less. Culturally, I visited www.rockaction.co.uk and reserved copies of Arab Strap’s As Days Get Dark and Mogwai’s As the Love Continues, then continued to www.monorailmusic.com to reserve goodies from the further distant future; Teenage Fanclub’s Endless Arcade is out at the end of April and David Keenan’s fifth novel Monument Maker which won’t be out until June. David Peace’s Tokyo Redux and James Ellroy’s Widespread Panic are slated for publication at the same time, which will teach me patience is a virtue.
So, what can I do to keep my head busy? Irish sport of course!! A decent performance in the rugby, even if it ended in defeat against Wales. As regards the GAA, 2021 is looking like the shortest season on record; a foreshortened campaign in th’oul League that even the Kilkenny footballers could get into bed with, followed by an All-Ireland Championship that’s over by mid-July. While Sam will be presented to one of 31 counties (Mayo are not welcome) July 18th, the Liam MacCarthy Cup will be presented to one of 18 competing counties, after the usual intractable and incomprehensible Championship, on July 11th, giving the Donegal lads a chance to march the day after with the 26 members of Newtowncunningham True Blues, Loyal Orange Lodge 1063, to Rossnowlagh. Certainly, it’s not as abhorrent or unsavoury as image as Cork GAA togged out in Sports Direct sponsored jerseys. Hopefully the second Burning of Cork will see a bonfire of Ashley-influenced leisurewear aflame by de Banks. Actually, I’m carrying a flaming torch for Lovely Leitrim this year, as I’m hoping Woven Skull can get the Amhrán na bhFiann gig ahead of the Artane Boys Band at Croker this year.
Of course, with the GAA being allegedly amateur, this means they aren’t an elite sport according to the lads at Leinster House, so they’ll not be starting training before Easter. Mind they’ve no interest in doing so just yet, so all eyes must focus on the League of Ireland. Scheduled to begin in earnest on Friday March 19th, after the preludial President’s Cup between the Shams and Dundalk at Tallaght the week before, which is a month later than usual, clubs have been told to budget for zero crowds in the first instance, while fixtures for a 36-game season for the Premier Division have been set in stone. Dates for FAI Cup ties and the seemingly superfluous mid-season break have also been announced, as has the second annual suspension of the EA (League) Cup. Where we are still in the dark, as ever, is the composition of the zany and incomprehensible sporting enigma that is the League of Ireland First Division, which is the destination for my sporting love this year, as I’ll explain.
The 10-team Premier Division is populated by Bohs, Drogs, Dundalk, Shams and St Pats from Dublin and surrounding areas, Derry, Finn Harps and Sligo from the North West, Longford from the Midlands and Waterford from the South. I’ve been to every one of those and while I could be easily persuaded into having another sojourn for blaas and Helvick Gold in Port Lairge, that isn’t my current priority. In the same way that the fact I’ve never set foot in Kerry, having visited the other 31 counties, is a constant irritant to me, the fact I’ve yet to complete my First Division set also irks me.
Athlone, Bray, Cabinteely, Galway, Shelbourne, UCD and Wexford have all benefitted from my patronage over the years while, shamefully, Cobh and Cork are yet to be added to my sporting memories. Last year, which saw Cork shamefully relegated in last place, I had plans to visit my ancestral home by the lovely Lee, ready to take in a trip to Turner’s Cross on the Friday and St. Colman’s Park on the Saturday, until COVID intervened and the whole world changed. Of course, there isn’t a single weekend when the two of them are at home in the coming season. However, the weekend of September 24th and 25th has possibilities. Cobh host Bray on the Saturday and Cork are slated for an away game the night before. Who are their opponents? Good question…
At the time of writing, there are 9 teams in the First Division, with Shamrock Rovers B left in limbo, following their participation last year when they stepped up to replace the previous iteration of Limerick who failed to obtain a licence to operate from that beacon of fiscal rectitude, the FAI. With 5 weeks to kick off, which is ages in the FAI’s view of things, there is no indication as yet whether the Shams stiffs will be required to fulfil the role of footballing crash test dummies for this campaign. Somewhat amazingly, there are other potential outfits wanting to pull in the slack by filling the vacancy. Applicants have been told they may have to wait until February 23rd for a decision and, while there is a fixture list for 10 teams already out there, it remains a possibility that this will be torn up and a new one issued, potentially featuring12 teams if all of the entities in the hunt get the green light from the Independent Club Licensing Committee, although this is looking very unlikely now.
The odds-on favourites for the final berth are Treaty United, where former Limerick FC manager Tommy Barrett is now central to the project. Treaty United are hoping to revive senior football in the Limerick area and already have a senior women's side as well as an active underage section. Perhaps the main thing in their favour is that they have secured the exclusive use of Market's Field for home games. Until the other week, they were set to face competition from a revived and revised version of the old Limerick FC, with their owner Pat O'Sullivan looking for a route back into the league after financial issues contributed to their exit at the end of a turbulent 2019. However, the financial realities of the world we live have intervened and it appears they are concentrating on the underage section for now. Anything that reduces youth crime in Moyross and the wider Stab City area has to applauded.
The other party in the mix for a First Division berth is a new creation, Dublin County FC, who are backed by a disparate group of investors in the US and UK who were previously linked with a takeover of Cabinteely. Perhaps the most important thing to note about the outfit who are yet to kick a ball in anger, is that Morton Stadium in Dublin has been flagged as prospective home ground. Two words; Sporting Fingal.
In utterly unrelated sporting news, Tynemouth Bad Boys have merged with Tynemouth Cricket Club, throwing 174 years of sporting integrity out the window (I jest). This appears to me as being a win-win situation. We get to play on the main pitch and have taken a place in the NTSCL Midweek Open Division, meaning our games are 100% certain to be on Thursday nights, if the Good Lord’s willing and the R Number doesn’t rise. As the newly installed Tynemouth CC Press Officer, I’m happily obliged to watch the whole season through until it ends on September 12th or thereabouts. If, and only if, the world returns to some semblance of normality, I hope to get across to the Four Green Fields at some point before the season ends on November 28th with the FAI Cup Final at the Aviva. Friday night in Limerick and Saturday in Cobh look positively alluring to me…
No comments:
Post a Comment