Monday, 18 August 2014

Keeping Promises

The weekend of 16th and 17th August 2014 was a momentous one for north east football magazines; the début issue of Newcastle United fanzine "The Popular Side," an A5, old school, sold on the street and in bars, not for profit venture with no adverts, no merchandise and no website, costing only £1, sold out. Meanwhile, Craig Dobson's more general publication "Northern Promise" also hit the streets; I wrote a couple of bits in it about The Northern League and The Northern Alliance, which are below -:

While there can be no disputing the fact that Gateshead, so unlucky not to book a place in the Football League Division 2 after the Conference play-offs at the end of last season, are head and shoulders above every other non-league side in the area, the question as to which team north of the Tyne are favourites to claim the honour of being regional top dogs in the Northern League is a moot point.

Clearly there are 4 sides in Northumberland who fit the bill in terms of being north of the Tyne, but Ashington, who appear to have stabilised as a solid first division outfit following their 2008 move from Portland Park to Woodhorn Lane which denuded them of a large portion of their more raucous support, Bedlington Terriers, who seem to have assumed the mantle of perennial strugglers and are subject to relentless tsunamis of gossip related to their American owner’s financial input, Morpeth Town, who had a solid first season back in the top flight and a good run in the FA Vase and the delightful Alnwick Town, who provide the warmest of welcomes at the scenic “other” St. James’ Park, aren’t the focus of this piece, which seeks to assess the chances of teams in the Newcastle and North Tyneside areas.

During recent history, there has been absolutely no doubt that Whitley Bay have been the flagship club north of the Tyne. Four FA Vase wins, including 3 in a row from 2009 to 2011 and crowds that dwarfed all near and reasonably near neighbours, meant they could claim with full justification to be the giants of the local game, even attempting to steal Newcastle Benfield’s double winning thunder in 2009 by triumphing over Glossop North End at Wembley. Certainly, with a ground as impressive as Hillheads and a loyal and enthusiastic fanbase, it seems strange that the Seahorses did not seek to move up the pyramid during their glory years, though their less than satisfactory experiences in the Northern Premier League may have left them feeling once bitten, twice shy. However, that potential ship has sailed and the last couple of seasons have seen a diminution in their standing. A mid-table finish and a late defeat to Marske United in the League Cup at St. James’ Park don’t tell the full tale of a season that saw the departure of Ian Chandler from the Hillheads dug-out after more than a decade. With Chan now in charge at the ever perplexing conundrum that is Durham City, Leon Ryan is player manager and in charge of reanimating a potential giant of a club with questions over the long term future of their ground. The signing of free scoring Peter Watling from Team Northumbria to partner the talismanic Paul Chow will go a long way to giving him an even chance of achieving that feat.

Without doubt, the team that appear to have the wind in their sails as regards the future are North Shields who stormed to the Division 2 title last season, courtesy of the scoring exploits of Gareth Bainbridge and the astute management of Graham Fenton. While many may struggle to ever forget Fenton’s exploits at Ewood Park on Easter Monday 1996, he is really making a name for himself as an assured tactician and master motivator. There is also the added factor of a large and passionate following (1,312 versus West Allotment Celtic on Good Friday is a scarcely credible figure at this level), comprised of Shields traditionalists, immaculately attired Casual clothing connoisseurs and several somewhat eccentric characters, all of whom seem to carry giant flags, that will intimidate many soft hearted opponents. In some ways it could easily be argued that the Robins start each home game a goal ahead because of the crowd. It really is amazing to hear singing and chanting at a Northern League game. Do not be surprised if North Shields take Division 1 by the throat in 2014/2015.

Newcastle Benfield had grounds to look back on 2013/2014 with a sense of satisfaction. Following a disappointing campaign in 2012/2013, where player manager Steve Bowey was the third incumbent in the Sam Smiths hot seat in a calendar year and relegation was only avoided after a last day win at Consett, last season brought stability. A fourteenth place finish, 20 points above the drop zone and a place in the last 8 of the FA Vase represented progress. However, Bowey left the club at the end of the season, resulting in Paddy Atkinson and Neil Saxton assuming control. This will be an interesting season for the Walkergate Brazilians who will be seeking to establish themselves as the top club in the region again.

Perhaps one of the most intriguing factors for Benfield is the chance to reacquaint themselves with near neighbours West Allotment Celtic in what has come to be known as the Coach Lane Classico. Allotment, courtesy of a well-honed 4-5-1 system and a series of immaculate performances by goalscoring midfielder Sean Reid, put together a stirring set of results at precisely the right time in the spring and finished (distant) runners-up to North Shields, in order to reclaim a place in the top flight. A popular, traditional club with a great committee and a tradition of playing excellent football, Paul Stoneman’s side will be looking to cement their place in Division 1 and they should have enough quality to manage this feat without difficulty.

In Division 2, newly relegated Team Northumbria will need to regroup quickly, if they are to provide a realistic challenge for promotion. It was something of a shock that a side renowned for excellent passing football on their billiard table pitch at Coach Lane could end up apologetically falling out of the top flight. Now, having seen chief striker Peter Watling and midfield artiste Ben Sayers leave the club, it may be difficult for them to challenge the pre-season favourites Seaham Red Star, Washington and Ryhope CW at the business end of the table.

The same will probably be true for Heaton Stannington, who will do tremendously well to replicate last season’s 5th place finish. Having adjusted well to life in the Northern League, after finally complying with ground grading requirements related to floodlights and seating, it will be interesting to see if their previously one dimensional approach, that saw all play channelled through departed goal machine Jonathan Wright, will prove as effective as last year without the contribution of Wright, or whether sides will be wise to The Stan’s style of play. All in all, it promises to be yet another fascinating season in the Northern League. Why on earth would you choose to watch any other kind of football? Unless it’s the Northern Alliance of course.

During 2013/2014, three clubs dropped out of the Northern Alliance; Wallsend Town were expelled from the Premier Division for a series of serious disciplinary transgressions that left the management committee with no option other than to call an EGM to vote on the side’s continued presence in the league. Expulsion was confirmed and Wallsend Town will be competing in the Durham Alliance, a notional feeder for the Wearside League, in 2014/2015. Also leaving the Alliance in 2013/2014 were Chopwell who, having thrown in the towel in 2011, regrouped in the Tyneside Amateur League, one of the Alliance’s 3 notional feeders (the others being the geographically disparate North Northumberland League and vaguely alma mater-ish Newcastle University graduate influenced Corinthian League)before being accepted back in the Alliance in 2013. Sadly they lasted barely half a season before resigning again. The other side to resign were First Division Forest Hall, citing a lack of players and committee members. 

Happily, in preparation for the big kick off on August 9th, the Alliance is back up to its full complement of 48 clubs for 2014/2015. This follows the admission of Lindisfarne Custom Planet, based around the Wallsend Workingmen’s club of that name and playing at the Rising Sun Sports Ground rather than on Holy Island, Shilbottle from the North Northumberland League and the renaissance of Forest Hall.
To accommodate such changes, only Percy Main Amateurs have been relegated from the top division, being replaced by North Shields Athletic, who will be playing on the astroturf 4G pitch at John Spence High School as it has the requisite permanent rail round the pitch needed for Alliance Premier Division and Gateshead Redheugh 1957, or Whickham Sports Club as they are now known, whose home is the impressive and continually improving Eslington Park. The favourites for the title must be champions Blyth Town, whose stated aim is to upgrade their South Newsham base, the only ground I’ve not visited in the top flight, to Northern League standards. However, Killingworth Station, based at West Moor, who give you a free programme and hot drink at half time in return for your £1.50 entry fee, will also be fancied to do well. Whitley Bay A, who play at Hillheads, Red House Farm from Gosforth and the Cumbrian challenge from Carlisle City and Northbank will also be dark horses. That said, it is worth visiting any Alliance ground for the sheer honest of endeavour to be seen on the park; certainly Rutherford, formed in 1878, who play at Lobley Hill and Wallington, in existence since 1877, at the impossibly scenic Oakford Park in Scots Gap, should be on any serious football enthusiast’s must-see list, as will Wheatfield Park, home to Seaton Delaval Amateurs.

In Division 1, things are less clear cut. Percy Main will fancy a quick return to the top flight, but newly promoted Wallsend Boys Club, Blyth Isabella, another ground I’ve not been to, and Northumberland Minor Cup winners AFC Newbiggin will aim to hit the ground running. Both Cramlington Town and Newcastle Chemfica looked set to win promotion last season, before running out of steam with the pressure of 2 or more games a week when the light nights came (no floodlights and no midweek winter games in the Alliance) and will aim to improve this time around, as will the impressively organised Birtley St. Joseph’s, now calling Wrekenton Blue Star their home ground. Grounds well worth a visit in this division include Benson Park in leafy NE3, home to Gosforth Bohemians, Newcastle University’s charming Cochrane Park and the maritime splendour of Links Avenue, Cullercoats. My aim is to get up to see Wooler play and complete my set for Division 1.

In Division 2, relegated Willington Quay Saints will play on the adjoining pitch at the Rising Sun to Lindisfarne Custom Planet. Favourites for the division must be Longbenton, playing at the Oxford Centre, who only lost out on promotion in their final game. I’m intending to spend a bit of time watching Alliance Division 2 games, as I need to visit Leam Rangers, who also have a side in the Wearside League at the same step in the pyramid, Whitburn Athletic, Grainger Park and Shilbottle (without a marker pen I hasten to add) to complete my set. One place worth visiting is High Howdon’s home at Walker School, where the 4G pitch is the best synthetic surface I’ve ever seen; keep this in mind for wintry weather when parks pitches are closed by the council.

If the Northern League is too glamorous for your tastes, dip your toe into the Northern Alliance pool; you’ll not regret it. 


In addition to "Northern Promise," I penned an article about Whitley Bay for the Bridlington Town programme for the FA Cup game on Saturday 16th. I wasn't there, being up in Glasgow, where the appropriately named restaurant above is located. I will be blogging about Clydebank v Yoker Athletic soon, but before then, here's my bit on the Seahorses -:

I’d like to think I got ahead of the game in terms of being sickened by the Premier League and the malign influence of Sky as I started watching non-league football in the north east well over 20 years ago now. Since 2009 I’ve actively been involved and attached with a few different clubs after taking my enjoyment of the grassroots game to a higher level; between 2009 and 2013 I was Assistant Secretary at Percy Main Amateurs in the Northern Alliance, two steps below where Whitley Bay are, then last season I edited the programme and acted as press officer for Heaton Stannington in their debut season in the Northern League second division, before moving on for this campaign to the same role at Newcastle Benfield, who have been Whitley Bay’s main rivals for the distinction of being the top Northern League Division 1 side north of the Tyne.

During that time, I’ve found that while Northern Alliance games are regularly accompanied by oath-edged imprecations of violence, swivel-eyed death threats and the kind of physical intimidation more suited to a taxi rank at closing time on Christmas Eve, though the full time whistle sees a defined end to hostilities amid handshakes, smiles and the promise of pints in the bar afterwards, it is undeniable that the Northern League is a far more insidious environment. Whispers, innuendo, on-line bitching and behind closed doors politicking is the way of this particular world, occasioning bizarre and unlikely truces, pacts, alliances and blocs, with pronounced differences between the actual and cyber conduct and comments of fools with nothing better to do than invent conspiracy theories. 

One club, other than Benfield of course, stands well above this snide milieu; Whitley Bay are uniformly admired, respected and liked by followers of the local non-league game in the Tyneside area, which is truly astonishing considering they have the biggest crowds, best ground and have had unrivalled recent national success. You don’t win 4 FA Vases without picking up a few admirers on the way. What Bay offered was stability (manager Ian Chandler was in charge for a decade until leaving for Durham last season) and a great ground, with terracing on all sides, including cover on two in impressive stands. There’s also the small matter of goal machine Paul Chow, who scored the quickest ever goal at Wembley in the 2011 Vase final. Truly, Whitley Bay, despite being formed as recently as 1966, are the closest to a dynastic, establishment club north of the Tyne; second only to the venerable Blyth Spartans in terms of tradition and atmosphere. 

While it must be admitted that a proportion of the increased Bay support has come directly from the ranks of disgusted and disenfranchised Newcastle United supporters (Bay’s 2009 FA Vase win coincided with Newcastle’s relegation from the Premier League for instance) and that Bay are clearly the club of choice for non-natives who’ve settled in the region and have picked up on the importance of local football, despite Heaton Stan’s bizarre ability to attract over a dozen die-hard Scottish ex-pat followers, Whitley Bay are the highest profile non-league club in the Newcastle area with a solid, loyal and unwavering local support. Not that it is anything to encourage, but they have a gang of replica shirted zealots who stand behind the goal and sing at games. They are unstinting in their devotion to manager Leon Ryan and his players, including impressive new striking option Peter Watling from relegated Team Northumbria.

The only cloud on Bay’s horizon is the renaissance of local rivals North Shields, managed by former Blackburn, Villa and West Brom striker Graham Fenton, who stormed to the Northern League Division 2 title last season, watched by average crowds almost the size of Bay’s. The impending power struggle between The Seahorses and The Robins promises to be a fascinating one; let’s hope the Benfield Lions are also have something to say as the season draws on.

Tuesday, 12 August 2014

Tyne Times

Last Saturday, I celebrated my birthday early by heading down to Barnsley for David Peace reading from GB84, followed by a few pints with him in Old No 7 and then a trip to Oakwell for Barnsley v Crawley Town. Coincidentally, I also met the lads from West Stand Bogs and agreed to write an article for issue 6 about my day, despite the fact they didn't use the following issue for issue 5......


Having written in previous issues of West Stand Bogs about trips to Oakwell with my team Newcastle United, of the times I was at Oakwell supporting Barnsley and away trips with South Yorkshire’s finest, for this edition, I’ve decided to look at games involving Newcastle and Barnsley at St. James’ Park. As I’m a mere slip of a lad of 49, you’ll forgive me for not mentioning such results as our brace of impressive home wins 4-1 and 3-0 in November 1934 and September 1935, or Barnsley’s consecutive brace of 1-0 away successes in season-opening games in August 1936 and 1937. The latter season saw Barnsley and Newcastle finish on 36 points, with Newcastle staying up only on goal average; however that arcane system worked… It may be of some consolation to know the situation would have been unchanged using goal difference. After the war, I don’t know anything about the 4-2 home win in February 1947 or the 1-0 on 6th March 1948.

Strangely, 6th March seems to have certain significance for the two teams, as that date in 2010 was Barnsley’s most recent visit to SJP. It ended up 6-1. The ex-wife was there, but I wasn’t, preferring instead to take in the delights of Benfield 2 Jarrow Roofing 0 in the Northern League Division 1. I can remember that particular day and game quite clearly but, and this is surprising considering how the elderly memory works, there is a hole in my recollections for 6th March 1982 when Newcastle beat Barnsley 1-0 in the first league encounter in 34 years.

I remember your next visit well enough; 25th September 1982. Ahead 1-0 at the break courtesy of an Imre Varadi goal, we eventually lost 2-1 in one of the early games of Kevin Keegan’s stint as a player on Tyneside. My mate Alan had missed the game, because of the lame excuse of getting married, but we still enjoyed ourselves at his reception in the evening, especially as sunderland lost 8-0 at Watford that day.  The next season saw Newcastle United win promotion, and a desperately dour 1-0 victory courtesy of a Chris Waddle curler at the Gallowgate on a bitterly cold 2nd January was one of the results that showed we could tough it out on our way up, as well as playing pretty football.

There wasn’t any pretty football in our next encounter; a 0-0 second round first leg League Cup tie, in which Newcastle prevailed on away goals after a 1-1 at Oakwell. I missed both these games as I was away in Ireland at University then, however I was back home and in my seat in the shiny new Milburn Stand  for the 4-1 hammering we dished out in March 1990. Clad in your famous spangly yellow flashes shirt, Barnsley were blown away on a day when even Roy Aitken scored for us.

The next season, nobody scored at all in one of the worst games of football I’ve ever seen, although 17th November 1990 is definitely mainly memorable for me as I took my ex-wife to this game for our first date. It’s amazing she ever spoke to me after this one. A year later, I almost didn’t talk to her as David Currie ruined my day with a bullet header equaliser in a 1-1 draw. That weekend we’d held a housewarming party and about a dozen friends and relatives from South Yorkshire had made the trip up and were at the game. The Friday night do had been fabulous, but Saturday wasn’t quite as good after this late dampener. I had cheered up the year after though, when Keegan’s championship winning side were absolutely irresistible on a magical night in early April 1993, winning 6-0, with former Barnsley player John Beresford opening the scoring from the spot. A bloke I know, Mick, was still furious at full time as he’d have won £2k, a lot of money in those days, if it had stayed 5-0. It explained why he was the only one still in his seat, head in hands, when Kevin Brock completed the scoring.

Following Newcastle’s promotion, the next game at SJP was another League Cup tie, when Neil Redfearn’s famous long range strike gave Barnsley the lead in September 1994, only for Ruel Fox and Peter Beardsley to turn the game around and a Beardsley goal to win the second leg 1-0 at Oakwell. By the time the teams met again, it was with both Newcastle and Barnsley in the top tier; a sixth round FA Cup at St. James Park in March 1998 was one of the best and most thrilling encounters I’ve seen between the two sides, with the game only finally settled in the last few minutes when David Batty, of all people, scored a glorious late shot from distance, in off the post. In contrast, the league game at SJP a few weeks later on Easter Monday was a desperately poor affair, won by Newcastle by a 2-1 margin. Barnsley could have had a point if Arjan de Zeeuw, denied a foul, had played on and marked Shearer as he scored the winner, instead of remonstrating with the officials. Barnsley went down that season and if Newcastle hadn’t won that game, I feel we could have joined you.

Things got a little quiet after 1998. Subsequent to that one, the only other league game up here was the 6-1 in March 2010 that I’ve already referred to, but there was one other tie; a mundane 2-0 win for Newcastle in the League Cup in August 2007. I still had a season ticket in those days, despite Allardyce’s appointment, but this didn’t cover me for cup tickets. I went along on the night to pay on the door, but the queues at those turnstiles were so vast, what with it being the last week of the school holidays, I tried to dodge in with my season ticket at another entry. The season tickets we were issued with had just been switched that season from tear out slips of paper, to credit card sized bits of plastic which you swiped in with; lo and behold, the technology was so poor I was able to wander in and take my normal seat unhindered. Needless to say, I used that method subsequently for all cup games until I chucked my season ticket in 2009; it’s the natural anarchist in me I guess.


With Barnsley in their current precarious position, it seems unlikely the two sides will play each other at SJP anytime soon, unless Pardew remains in charge and we start falling through the league. However, a cup draw would be nice; if that happens, rest assured that Mike Ashley’s master plan will see Newcastle snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in any manner possible, as the very last thing he wants is a repeat of the 1910 FA Cup Final any time soon. 

Monday, 11 August 2014

100 songs & 50 years.....



I’m half a century old. I am not actually celebrating the event itself, other than by playing 6 a side and then attending the Northern League Division 2 game between Team Northumbria and Heaton Stannington. This isn’t because I’m a miserable old curmudgeon, which I am, but because the real celebration is on hold until my Ben gets his A Level results on Thursday 14th. However, to mark my 50th, I’ve decided to come up with a theoretical mixtape of my life so far; 50 artists, 1 song each, in no particular order. As the artists involved were selected on the basis of the order that they occurred to me, there will be many omissions, to be returned to at a later date no doubt. Suffice to say, the first song mentioned is the greatest song of all time by the greatest band of all time. After that, the list is fairly random. Anyway, hope you enjoy the list….
1.       Teenage Fanclub – Everything Flows
2.       The Wedding Present – Corduroy
3.       The Velvet Underground – What Goes On (Live 69 version)
4.       Bob Dylan – Like A Rolling Stone
5.       Fairport Convention – Who Knows Where The Time Goes?
6.       The Mekons – Where Were You?
7.       Penetration – Don’t Dictate
8.       The Buzzcocks – Boredom
9.       Snatch – IRT
10.   Planxty – Johnny Cope
11.   Christy Moore – Cliffs of Doneen
12.   The Clancy Brothers – Brennan on the  Moor
13.   Liam Clancy – In Bodentown’s Churchyard
14.   The Dubliners – The Patriot’s Game
15.   Lindisfarne – Road to Kingdom Come
16.   Sonic Youth – Kotton Krown
17.   Butthole Surfers – 22 Going On 23
18.   Rapeman – Trouser Minnow
19.   Shellac – Prayer to God
20.   Dinosaur Jr – Little Fury Things
21.   Swans – Sex God Sex
22.   The Weather Prophets – Almost Prayed
23.   Trembling Bells – Just As The Rainbow
24.   Einsturzende Neubauten – Sand
25.   Joy Division – New Dawn Fades
26.   Cornershop – 6AM Jullander Shere
27.   British Sea Power – Lately
28.   Midlake – Young Bride
29.   The Pastels – Baby Honey
30.   David Bowie – We Are The Dead
31.   The Fall – Winter
32.   Fugazi – Blueprint
33.   Swervedriver – Rave Down
34.   Band of Holy Joy – Who Snatched The Baby?
35.   That Petrol Emotion – Sweet Shiver Burn
36.   Gang of Four – To Hell With Poverty
37.   Jimi Hendrix – The Wind Cries Mary
38.   Godspeed You! Black Emperor – Mladic
39.   Neil Young – Like A Hurricane
40.   The Band – The Weight
41.   Subway Sect – Ambition
42.   The Raincoats – Fairytale in the Supermarket
43.   Wire – Former Airline
44.   Nirvana – All Apologies (MTV acoustic)
45.   Nick Drake – Black Eyed Dog
46.   Cabaret Voltaire – Do The Mussolini (Headkick)
47.   Patti Smith – Piss Factory
48.   Television – Marquee Moon
49.   The Byrds – Turn! Turn! Turn!
50.   Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers – Roadrunner

Of course, as soon as I completed the above lists, several other bands popped into my head. What was I to do? Simple; compose another list of 50 songs by 50 different bands. What I think is clear from both sets of 50 is that the song I’ve chosen is the one by the particular artist that means the most to me by that particular artist, however that can be defined…

51.   Orange Juice – Blue Boy
52.    Wah! – The Death of Wah!
53.   The Jesus & Mary Chain – Never Understand
54.  Rod Stewart –Maggie May
55.   Metal Urbain – Paris Marquis
56.   The Birthday Party – Deep in the Woods
57.   Eno – Here Come the Warm Jets
58.   Neu – Hallogallo
59.   Yo La Tengo – The Story of Yo La Tango
60.   A Certain Ratio – Winter Hill
61.   Richard & Linda Thompson – I Want to See the Bright Lights Tonight
62.   Pere Ubu – Final Solution
63.   Captain Beefheart & The Magic Band – Moonlight on Vermont
64.   Roxy Music – In Every Dream Home A Heartache
65.   The Cure – The Figurehead
66.   Killdozer – When The Levee Breaks
67.   Led Zeppelin – Houses of the Holy
68.   The Clash – White Man in Hammersmith Palais
69.   The Pogues – The Broad, Majestic Shannon
70.   Swell Maps – Stephen Does
71.   Leonard Cohen – The Sisters of Mercy
72.   Joan Baez – The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down
73.   Alternative TV – Action Time Vision
74.   Blur – No Distance Left To Run
75.   John Cale – I Keep A Close Watch
76.   Johnny Cash – New Mexico
77.   Euros Childs – Parents’ Place
78.   Ry Cooder – Billy the Kid
79.   Pecker Dunne – Wexford
80.   The Flying Lizards – TV
81.   John the Postman – Kowalski of the Seaview
82.   The Lemonheads – It’s A Shame About Ray
83.   Mercury Rev – Car Wash Hair
84.   The Oyster Band – Rambling Irishman
85.   Gram Parsons – Wild Horses
86.   The Pop Group – We Are All Prostitutes
87.   Sebadoh – Brand New Love
88.   Throbbing Gristle – United
89.   Destroy All Monsters – Bored
90.   Robert Wyatt – Yolande
91.   Clock DVA – 4 Hours
92.   Essential Logic – Aerosol Burns
93.   The Go-Betweens – Cattle and Cane
94.   The Slits – Man Next Door
95.   Camper van Beethoven – Take the Skinheads Bowling
96.   X Ray Spex - Oh Bondage Up Yours!
97.   My Bloody Valentine – Feed Me With Your Kisses
98.   The Flowers – After Dark
99.   Nick Cave – By the Time I Get to Phoenix

100.                       Joni Mitchell – A Case of You

Monday, 4 August 2014

No Tournament For Old Men

100 years ago on August 4th 1914,  Gramsci's concept of cultural hegemony was enacted in the most appalling manner imaginable, when World War I saw almost inconceivable numbers of volunteers signing up for their deaths in the trenches. To mark this anniversary, The Football Pink has launched an issue dedicated to war and football. It truly is a fantastic read; if Stand is the agitprop, samizdat zeitgeist of the modern football fan, then The Football Pink is the august theoretical journal underpinning the thoughts of the stormy petrels on the terraces. It can be bought from here http://footballpink.net/2014/07/13/pre-order-now-the-football-pink-issue-5/ and my contribution to issue 5 is as follows -:



Men are born for games. Nothing else. Every child knows that play is nobler than work. He knows too that the worth or merit of a game is not inherent in the game itself but rather in the value of that which is put at hazard… This is the nature of war, whose stake is at once the game and the authority and the justification. Seen so, war is the truest form of divination. It is the testing of one’s will and the will of another within that larger will which because it binds them is therefore forced to select. War is the ultimate game because war is at last a forcing of the unity of existence. War is god (Cormac McCarthy Blood Meridian p249).

I adore the work of Cormac McCarthy; not having read a word of his until I turned 33, and mistaking him at first for Carson McCullers, that altogether less grandiose exponent of the Southern Gothic, it was an extraordinary personal epiphany to come across McCarthy’s novels during my MA in Twentieth Century American Literature. The book of his I loved most of all was Suttree, a semi-autobiographical account of his life in Knoxville, Tennessee in the early 1950s, though my lecturers and other students frothed at the mouth over the grotesque epic Blood Meridian, from where I’ve quoted the speech by the terrifying Judge Holden which prefaces this piece. On this surface, both the Judge’s visceral oratory and the book as a whole are awesome, fearful constructs that seem to update the concept of the Elizabethan Chain of Being, often referred to as the Celestial Dance, to the American West, reducing human experience to the pavane of violence, war, and bloodshed that Judge Holden so often praises. However, I found the endless portrayals and justification of death and destruction to be ultimately hollow when compared to the realistic struggles of one lonely man in Suttree.

Writing as I am for an edition devoted to the twin themes of war and football, under the effusive, corporate shadow of a World Cup, it would be credible to suggest that Judge Holden’s words are the philosophy of the Honduran Football Federation. Indeed there is a persuasive argument to suggest that all football contests, from the most elevated levels of international football to the basest, internecine contests at the foot of the pyramid between feuding pubs in Sunday morning leagues are a physical recreation of the philosophical exposition of conflict delineated by Judge Holden. Examples of football as warfare are legion; while it’s a cheap shot to suggest the no-nonsense approach to the game adopted by Honduras, who appear to be a de facto international version of Wallsend Town, who achieved the extraordinary feat of being expelled from the Northern Alliance for incessant rough housing, is a kind of warfare, La guerra del fútbol between Honduras and neighbouring El Salvador in 1969 shows there is form for this in an altogether less stage-managed theatre than the one overseen by FIFA.

Two years after that conflict, the struggles for equality by members of the oppressed Nationalist community in the north of Ireland saw a response from the ruling Loyalist elite, backed up by the military might of their ideological Sugar Daddies at the heart of the British state, which resulted in a savage, sectarian civil war. An example of the repressive, punitive measures taken against ordinary Nationalists was the expulsion of Derry City from the Irish League in 1971, ostensibly for security concerns as their Brandywell home is in the Republican Bogside. Such an action was portrayed as being the right and sensible thing to do, rather than admitting it was another unnecessary ideological assault on the most downtrodden section of society.

One of my favourite ever cartoons was a Ray Lowry sketch in the NME in the mid-1980s.  In the wake of the US boycott of the Moscow Olympics and the USSR’s reciprocal absence from LA in 1984, while an endless stream of county cricketers, some shamefacedly and others brazenly, exchanged their test careers for a fistful of blood-soaked Rand on Rebel Tours of apartheid era South Africa, in direct contravention of the 1977 Gleneagles Agreement, Lowry drew a scene based in the Roman Coliseum. As a hapless serf was fed to the lions, he cried out Imperialist Bastards; meanwhile, the garlanded and toga-wearing emperor turned to his minion and said I do wish they’d keep politics out of sport.

I was only 9 going on 10 when the 1974 World Cup took place, but I was made aware by my dad, who insisted we support East Germany over West Germany (I can still recall him leaping from the couch and punching the air when Jürgen Sparwasser scored that iconic goal) that the team to hate above all others were Chile, because of that country’s military regime. The first Rothmans Football Yearbook I owned was the 1974/1975 edition; in its account of qualification for the tournament in Germany, it states that Chile qualified after USSR “withdrew following a protest at the proposed venue for the second leg of their play-off,” almost as if there was a doubt about the strength of the floodlights or a large enough press box, though with a snide hint that since Chile had achieved a 0-0 in Moscow, the Ruskies didn’t fancy their chances and so had taken a hissy fit. I am eternally grateful to my late father (Eddy Cusack b: 9-3-34 d: 1-8-09) for providing me with the context that Rothmans and British broadcasters were unwilling to do 40 years ago.

On 11 September 1973, Thatcher’s favourite despot Augustus Pinochet led a brutal military coup that deposed the democratically elected Social Democratic government of Salvador Allende. Thousands upon thousands of Government supporters, left wing activists and community leaders were rounded up and summarily executed in the national football stadium in Santiago. Perhaps the most famous victim was the folk singer and teacher Victor Jara, after whom the stadium is now named. Jara was shot and his corpse brutally defiled the day after the coup. His body was thrown in the dirt outside the stadium, from where his widow Joan and family members retrieved it, to give this brave, honest and totally innocent man a decent burial. FIFA, sensitive as ever to international events, insisted that the USSR v Chile play-off went ahead on 26 September 1973. By the time of the scheduled second leg in late November, the international community had grown aware of the gross violations of human rights by this illegal US-backed and funded coup; the USSR’s principled stance in refusing to play in such circumstances was predictably ignored by FIFA and, decontextualised, used as further anti Soviet propaganda by the BBC. With Pinochet long dead and democracy restored to Chile, I was able to celebrate their appearance at this year’s World Cup, which Milan Kundera would recognise as The Tournament of Laughter and Forgetting.

No country could have more reasons not to forget the endless privations it endured at the hands of a cruel oppressor than Ireland and their attitude to England. Derry City’s expulsion may have been a minor attack on the Nationalist community on the Foyle, certainly when compared to the shooting dead of 13 innocent, unarmed men on 30 January 1972, in what has become known as Bloody Sunday. Tragically, though predictably when considering Britain’s attitude to her neighbour, the original Bloody Sunday in 1920 was actually a greater outrage, as the Black and Tans shot dead 14 unarmed civilians at Croke Park during a GAA football game between Dublin and Tipperary. War is sport, but there can be laughter and forgetting; on 24 February 2007, God Save the Queen was played at Croke Park, before Ireland thumped England 43-13 in the Six Nations. The Irish nation forgave the British state and welcomed a team to play the quintessential game of the British ruling elite in the very venue where that country’s functionaries committed such a barbaric atrocity. However, it wasn’t football. Perhaps the events of Lansdowne Road in 1995 prevented the chance for Ireland to overcome England at football at Croker, but the gracious conduct of the Irish nation in a sporting environment is to be applauded.

Several years after I completed my postgraduate studies, McCarthy published the book that did not make his name, as his literary reputation was already established, but finally gave him a mainstream audience courtesy of the Coen Brothers’ masterful film adaptation of No Country for Old Men, which led to an explosion of interest in his work. One of the things I respect most about Cormac McCarthy is that he simply refuses to discuss the supposed deeper meaning of any of his books, stating “there’s nothing for me to say. Everything I have to say is there on the page.” However, I do wonder how he responds to the widespread veneration of the “living prophet of destruction” Anton Chigurh, perhaps his most bleakly psychotic character, so chillingly portrayed by Javier Bardem in the film. Rather like the judge, Chigurh’s words have the same kind of bombastic, quasi-philosophical but ultimately hollow quality of Judge Holden’s utterances. For instance, is there actually any real meaning behind the phrase “if the rule you followed led you to this, of what use was the rule?” Of course in the novel, the character of Carson Wells has little time to ponder this question before Chigurh shoots him, but that’s shows what a cruel game it can be. Being a mercenary I mean, not football.

To me, the central character in No Country for Old Men is Sheriff Ed Tom Bell, the ageing law man who has spent all his life trying to do the right thing and finding himself more and more of an anachronism as the new TexMex outlaws have technology at their disposal, while he drives a cruiser that “couldn’t out run a fat man.” Ed Tom knows his time is up as he’s can’t do anything about “the true and living prophet of destruction” that is Chigurh. Perhaps Neil Young was wrong and it is better to fade away than burn out.

I am 50 in August and I know I’m becoming Ed Tom Bell’s football supporting equivalent. More and more I find myself repulsed by the glorification of conflict in football, whether that be Carling drenched UKIP followers in England tops brawling in takeaways, the incessant xenophobic rhetoric of the media or even, at a micro level, posturing oafs on the internet making nonsensical claims about dust-ups after local derbies, claiming the “real result” is to be found off the pitch. It’s tiresome and it’s wrong.

Perhaps, as FIFA controls every fibre of the game’s being at the upper echelons, meaning that popular protests in Brazil are as decontextualized as the USSR’s refusal to play in Santiago in 1973, then even Cormac McCarthy’s bleak nihilism doesn’t go far enough. Rather we must take as our text Guy Debord’s 1967 piece, The Society of the Spectacle, which helped explained the nature of late capitalism's historical decay as part of the political manifesto of the Situationist International. In Debord’s terms,  spectacle was defined as an assemblage of social relations transmitted via the imagery of class power, and as a period of capitalist development wherein all that was once lived has moved into representation, whereby experience becomes detached from every aspect of life -:

We live in a spectacular society, that is, our whole life is surrounded by an immense accumulation of spectacles. Things that were once directly lived are now lived by proxy. Once an experience is taken out of the real world it becomes a commodity. As a commodity the spectacular is developed to the detriment of the real. It becomes a substitute for experience.


Pacified by the endless images on our television screen of football played by superstars of unimaginable wealth, we have become detached from the reality of the game. No longer are we participants in the bloody demi-monde outlined by Judge Holden, but instead we are anaesthetized by the media and exist in a stupefied false consciousness that Gramsci touched on in his theory of hegemony. The warfare we should consider as being part of football is properly class warfare; change the game, change the world, but find someone younger than me to help you. I’ll be watching Northern League football and cursing the professional game with an ideological bitterness that age entitles me to.