On Cloud 7

NUFC 2023/2024 - done...

Well that’s 2023/2024 over; a season in which I only saw seventh placed Newcastle United once competitively in the flesh, the 3-0 home win over Fulham last December. While I was also at the pre-season friendly win over Villareal, and so memorable was that 4-0 victory I had to check the result on www.nufc.com  this meagre total represents the lowest number of NUFC fixtures I’ve attended in a campaign since 1972/1973 (2-2 v Leicester and 0-2 v Luton, in case you were wondering). However, another check of the fixture list reveals that 39 games were broadcast live (actually probably all of them were, if you’ve a decent fire stick), of which I saw 36, missing 3 home games: Villa because I was playing cricket, Man City as I was travelling back from Kelty Hearts 1 Annan Athletic 1 and West Ham, so I could visit Prudhoe Youth Club Reserves 4 Great Park 0 in the Alliance third division. Great decision that one, eh? Anyway, the amount of NUFC games I’ve seen does, I feel, enable me to speak about the season just ending with a degree of informed authority. Obviously though, as I’m writing this before True Faith have delivered their definitive take on the past 9 and a bit months, I don’t know how I should feel about things and nor should the rest of us.

Thinking back on the final half dozen games of the season, where we managed to accrue 10 points, the performances involved were a fairly accurate microcosm of the rest of the campaign. There is something about 2-0 defeats that triggers our on-line commentariat, as the non-broadcast Crystal Palace defeat was responded to with the kind of wailing and bilious condemnation you’d thought had gone out of fashion with Steve Bruce. While X became an internecine bloodbath, True Faith set the bar sky high for incandescent vitriol. You know, if you can’t handle defeat, then don’t follow football. Alternatively, look back on your words and repent, especially in the light of Palace’s 4-0 and 5-0 howkings of Man United and Villa respectively.

I was at Percy Main 1 Chemfica 1 on the day of the Sheffield United home game, so I didn’t get to see how cyberspace responded to Sheffield United’s early goal at SJP; with the usual humour and good grace I should imagine. At least that one turned out right, by the time I made it up to Tynemouth CC for the last session of the 2s v Ashington 2s, Newcastle had recovered to post a 5-1 victory. Watching the highlights later, my favourite bit was undoubtedly Osborn’s own goal, which reminded me of a clumsy toddler trying, but failing, to dribble a penny floater in the back garden. Bless…

The two games against Burnley were a bit odd. The routine 2-0 home win back in September was probably the most low-key victory of the whole season and the thumping 4-1 at Turf Moor wasn’t exactly lauded either. In fact, it’ll probably only be remembered as it was the first time Isak missed a penalty for us, not that it particularly mattered in the end. I was playing cricket up at Annfield Plain for the Brighton game. Saw Sean’s equaliser, heard a shout for the “winner” that was chalked out and saw the highlights on MotD. Should have won it. Could have lost it. Meh, except squandering those two points against a Brighton side who obliged Chelsea and Man United with 3 easy points, contributed to us not getting 6^th spot. Not as much as the woeful defending and pitiful finishing at Old Trafford did, but two points lost, nevertheless. We threw away three points at Old Trafford mind. Dubravka’s dreadful display and an inconceivable decision not to award a penalty when Gordon was raked down his ankle, causing him to miss the last game, conspired to mean we were always up against it on the final day.

Great win at Brentford though. A short spell in the first half where we played some sublime football. Bruno’s cross for the opener, then Isak’s ball to Murphy and finally his effortless shimmy to get the ball out of his feet before firing in the third had me thumping our new coffee table in admiration. Alright, we tailed off a bit after the break, but the result was never in doubt, and we ended up 7^th on 60 points; that’s 3 places and 11 points worse than last time. Do you want an explanation? While injuries unquestionably played their part, 3 away defeats last year were replaced by 11 losses this time around. So, what needs to happen next?

One thing I do know is that I hope Manchester City beat their local rivals in the FA Cup final next weekend. This is partly because I absolutely loathe Antony and Bruno Fernandes as human beings as well as footballers, but also because I’m more that happy for Newcastle United to qualify for the Europa Conference League, whatever that is. After all, the last time we finished 7^th, back in 2005/2006, we went on to win the Inter Toto Cup, which is the last trophy we got our hands on. Being in Europe, however sneakily, is better than not being in Europe at all. Although, we have to wait to learn our fate. If we miss out, I won’t lose much sleep; once Bruno’s personal transfer window has passed at any rate.

Not only have True Faith not told us all what we think as yet, but the FA Cup is yet to be decided, leaving the ultimate fate of Newcastle United still up in the air and also, the list of those leaving the club is yet to be confirmed. While the out of contract quintet of Dummett, Gillespie, Hendrick, Karius and Ritchie really ought to leave, presumably driven away from Little Benton in the back of the latter’s enormous horsebox, there should also be compromise agreements drawn up and firm handshakes of farewell exchanged with the likes of Fraser and Hayden. That is even before we begin to look at the first team squad and those on the periphery, whose efforts, however laudable, have shown them not to be of the standard required to move the club on or, in some cases, to maintain where we are on the fringe of the top 8.

While Manchester United have been an absolute car crash this season, we somehow lost to them at Old Trafford (probably because we donated three appalling goals) and only finished above them, for the first time ever, on goal difference, Chelsea are showing signs of getting their act together, as Pochettino learns who these players they’ve signed actually are and Crystal Palace seem to have appointed a superb coach who is getting the best out of the talented squad he inherited. I feel they can only get better. Would the continuing presence in our nominated Premier League panel of Almiron, Dubravka (who is worse dealing with shots than Robert Fico) and Murphy, not to mention the permanently injured, but potentially saleable, trio of Targett, Willock and Wilson, really help us to get any higher than where we currently are? I seriously doubt it, as the inescapable truth is we have a very good first XI and a decent bench when all are fit, but a calamitously weak and ill-shaped shadow squad, even allowing for the excellent progress made by homegrown youngsters like Anderson and Miley.

If we can, I’d like to see them shipped out and replaced, as far as is financially viable, by players of far greater ability, though don’t expect me to suggest names (other than perhaps Branthwaite from the imminent Goodison Park yard sale) as I’d never heard of the likes of Bruno or Isak before we signed them. You don’t need me to tell you how crucial their continued presence at SJP is to our chances of ever being semi-regular participants at the business end of any season when the gongs are dished out. I think we can also add the names of Anthony Gordon, who had a superb season amid the carnage of injury problems around him, the colossus who is Joelinton and hopefully Sven Botman, if he returns to the form he displayed before his injury, to the list of our essential players. Presumably Pope and Tonali fit in there too. Within a year, Hall and Livramento will be of that class. Adding Schar, Sean and Barnes to that list makes you realise we’re not a bad old team. That said, what I do recognise is our desperate need for a keeper, a creative midfielder and at least one reliable striker, to keep us moving forward. Under the stewardship of Eddie Howe. Without question.