Buchaneering

As I'm off to Ellesmere Port to see Benfield in the Vase against Vauxhall Motors FC this weekend, I had a bit of a ponder about my previous trips to other non-league grounds. The title is a crap pun based on The 39 Steps. Sorry -:

This wet weather is playing absolute havoc with non-league fixtures. Incessant teeming rain put paid to another Benfield fixture on 23 November, when the home clash with Sunderland RCA became the second home Saturday game in a row to be called off because of a waterlogged pitch. Of course, this is where 4G surfaces are a lifesaver; in the top division Stockton Town cut the gap on leaders Hebburn Town by beating the South Tyneside outfit 3-1. In Division 2, top dogs West Allotment Celtic pulverised Sunderland West End 8-2, raising the intriguing possibility that both divisions could yet be won by sides who play their home games on a synthetic pitch.

As you know, I’ve long advocated 4G surfaces as standard for step 7 sides who don’t own their own ground. Yes, for clubs such as Percy Main, Seaton Delaval and Wallington, their historic grounds are emphatically worthy of preservation as they are, but other teams don’t have such storied histories or emotional investment in their home surroundings. It seems the message is getting through; certainly, the tranche of games down Coach Lane and beyond demonstrated positive action in the face of dreadful downpours. Having consulted the fixtures, the first half of Chemfica v New Fordley in the Alliance Premier, kicking off at 2.00, then Killingworth v Whitley Bay Reserves in the George Dobbins League Cup, beginning an hour later, were my games of choice.

 

I took the Metro from Tynemouth to Four Lane Ends, where a Brexit Party canvasser had the temerity to ask me if I’d like one of their leaflets. As you could imagine, this wasn’t the message I was hoping to hear, and I unleashed a volley of intemperate, oath-edged abuse in his direction. To be frank, it may not have been my most eloquent and lucid diatribe I’ve ever issued, but it needed to be said and I headed off with a spring in my step and a large Latte from Greggs to entirely the wrong game. According to New Fordley’s Twitter, their game against Chemfica was taking place at Coach Lane, which is where I headed for. In actual fact, they were playing at the Newcastle University Longbenton Sports Ground just a bit back up the hill. The game I ended up watching instead was a friendly between Benton Cons Club, a Corinthian League side I’d never seen before and the star-studded retirement home for former Benfield players, Cullercoats. Managed by former Heaton Stan and Bedlington full-back Dan Iredale, they boasted Carl Patterson in defence and a still classy Brian Dodsworth in midfield, as well as the impressive, sculptured facial hair of John Grey. They looked lithe and supple in attack, but conceded two silly, soft goals to trail 2-1 at the break when I left.

 

In the absence of my bike, I took a number 1 a few stops down the hill and arrived at the Benfield School 4G cage just in time to see kick-off. As expected, Killingworth were dangerous every time they attacked, with Malky Morien, who looks more like a Game of Thrones extra every time I see him, a constant threat. Alex Nesbit was more than a cut above every other player on the pitch, imperious in the middle of the park. At half time Killingworth lead 2-0, but Whitley, young and spirited, weren’t finished. The direct ball over the top gave them plenty of joy, as Killi failed to deal with it every single time. Twice they panicked into conceding first a free kick and then a penalty, both confidently dispatched, which bookended a horrific mix up that saw the young Seahorse walk the ball home. However, it wasn’t all Whitley; Killingworth got the goals to squeeze through 4-3, both from inside the 6-yard box. Firstly, the Whitley keeper got a back pass stuck under his feet and hit it against a Killingworth attacker and then Nezza nodded down a deep cross for Malky to stab home. A decent game with plenty of goals for free entry made for a good afternoon out, despite the persistent rain.

On the Metro home, I mused about my next trip which, weather permitting, will be away to Vauxhall Motors in Ellesmere Port with Benfield in the Vase next Saturday.  What occurred to me was how poorly travelled I am outside of my Northern League heartland in Steps 1 to 5 across the country. So, in preparation for next week, here are my recollections of previous visits to non-league grounds other than those in the Northern League.

Step 1:

Almost uniformly, my visits to teams playing at this level have been when the hosts were in the Football League. Alphabetically, Barnet come first; though I used to work next to their new Hive ground, it was dear old Underhill I visited in January 1998. On the day before Newcastle infamously drew at Stevenage in the FA Cup, my mate Jon Williams and I took in Barnet’s 3-1 win over Colchester United. It was a joyful, unpretentious ramshackle collection of mismatched sheds, with and without seats. Another dead ground is Saltergate, where I visited for a pre-season friendly in July 1998, to see the Spireites draw 1-1 with Nottingham Forest. Stood on the open terrace, it didn’t seem to be as decrepit as long suggested, though I didn’t get a close-up view of the death trap in waiting that was the main stand. The Shay is still in existence and it was rocking on New Year’s Day 1998 when Halifax cuffed Gateshead aside by a score of 2-0. The bizarre tarmacking of the old speedway track makes this one weird ground, which is the only one I visited at the same level as it is now.

In July 2002, Ben and I bought tickets 1 and 2 for the Newcastle end at Harrogate Town, ahead of even The Undertaker, who had been travelling back from Holland with the first team. I think the Reserves had been too; we lost 3-1, with the highlight being an absolute stunner from the now-discredited Peter Beardsley.  Hartlepool against Preston in February 1992 ended 2-0 to the home side on an achingly cold afternoon for a mid-table third tier clash. I’ve always loved the Victoria Ground and will go back one day. The day I visited Meadow Lane, the place was having a fiesta; Sam Allardyce’s side won the fourth-tier title in March 1998, beating Orient 1-0. I’ve always had a soft spot for the Pies and hope they recover their League status soon. Finally, Stockport County’s Edgerley Park was a powder keg of emotions on the opening day of the 2005/2006 season, when Mansfield came to visit. The appearance of former County boss Carlton Palmer in the away dugout was a cause for much consternation and invective in a breathless 2-2 draw on the night I had the worst curry of my entire life at the Stockport Tandoori, 375 Buxton Road; never, ever go there if you value your taste buds.

Step 2:

At this level, leagues begin to split regionally, but as you’d imagine, the North has far more impact on my totals. Firstly, Blyth Spartans; it took until April 1995 for me to visit Croft Park, where I saw the home side beat Workington 2-1 in a fairly drab game. Darlington are a strange club; I’ve seen them at every level from the Football League to the Northern League at 3 different home grounds. In September 1992, they battered Crewe 3-0 at Feethams, on a day when the PA was turned off, so it didn’t disturb the cricketers on the adjoining field. I was at the last ever game at Feethams when Shildon beat Synners on penalties to win the Northern League Cup, but I only frequented the white elephant Reynolds Arena on one occasion; a 2-2 draw with Morecambe on Easter Monday 2007. It was the most functional football ground I’ve ever been to; absolutely no economy was spared, to the extent that hot drinks were dispensed from a Maxpax machine! On Easter Monday a decade later, I visited Blackwall Meadows to see the Quakers wallop FCUM 4-1. If Darlo accept they’ll never be a Football League team every again, it seems to be an ideal home for them.

One place that will never be an ideal home for anyone is the International Stadium, which I first visited in July 1974 for Gateshead’s home debut in a 3-2 friendly win over East Fife. At the other end of the spectrum is St. Albans City’s eccentric and homely Clarence Park, where I saw them beat Boston United in the FA Trophy quarter final in April 1999.

Step 3:

Atherton Collieries were at Step 6, North West Counties Division 1, when I visited with Benfield in the 2015 FA Vase. They comfortably beat us 2-0, treat us like royalty in the clubhouse, then went on a run of good fortune and form that saw them get 3 promotions in 4 years. Well done to them; a good club. AFC Rushden and Diamonds are the opposite of Atherton Collieries, in that the plummeted from League 1 to dissolution. I visited for a pre-season friendly in July 1995, seeing Les Ferdinand score his first goal for NUFC. Now the phoenix club, without the patronage of Max Griggs, are crawling back up the Pyramid and sharing with Rusden and Higham, while Nene Park has been bulldozed. The other 3 clubs I’ve visited that are currently at this level were all Northern League members at the time; Morpeth Town 1 Ashington 0 for the first time on Good Friday 1996, when it was a far simpler affair than it is now, South Shields 1 Washington 2 in November 1995, which was the first time I met Harry Pearson and a sold out Whitby Town 3 Tow Law 0, in April 1997 a week after they’d reached the FA Vase final.

Step 4:

Another 5 clubs have been graced by my presence at this level, including Dunston, where I saw Shildon win 5-0 on my first visit in February 1996, and Marske United, who beat Ashington 1-0 in September 1996, both in the Northern League. Elsewhere, a random Tuesday night in April 1998 at Pickering Town for a 1-1 draw with Northallerton in the North Yorkshire Senior Cup was complemented by Hanwell Town 2 Rugby Town 1 in the FA Trophy in October 2006, with my pal Little Richard McLeod. Down in London for a wedding celebration, I took a trip out west to the home of The Geordies, as they are known, and found myself immediately supporting the home side in an absorbing game. Finally, Workington; I visited glorious, aged Borough Park for an FA Cup qualifying replay with Benfield in September 2018, which we sadly lost 5-3. Entertaining game mind!

Step 5:

Of course, I’ve been to all current Northern League Division 1 sides, but in addition there are a couple of Northern Counties East visits I’ve made. Both Goole and Knaresbrough Town, in towns diametrically opposed in terms of economic and social factors, hosted Benfield in the FA Cup, in 2017 and 2019 respectively. Happily, we won on both occasions; 1-2 and 1-3 being the results.

Step 6:

Again, we’ll take it as read that all Northern League Division 2 grounds have been visited and again a brace of Northern Counties East grounds have been graced by my presence. Recently that includes the glorious North Ferriby phoenix project that I wrote about a few weeks back ( http://payaso-de-mierda.blogspot.com/2019/11/light-out-of-darkness.html), while all the way back to Easter Saturday 1998, I was at the original Emley against the original Runcorn; it ended 2-1 to the home side and sadly I remember little of it. Perhaps it was altitude sickness?

Anyway, Vauxhall Motors should be my next Step 6 tick after a mammoth bus journey next weekend. I really wouldn’t mind about 4 subsequent trips to grounds at steps 5 and 6 after this one, if you understand what I’m saying…