Stairing with the Rude Boys

Stranraer 3 Forfar Athletic 1; Saturday 1st November 2025. Photos by Wallsend National Party PLC

While my team Percy Main Amateurs were losing 4-2 on penalties after a 2-2 draw in 90 minutes at home to Hazlerigg Victory in a Northumberland FA Senior Benevolent Bowl Round 1 tie, and my pal Big Gary’s side Newcastle Benfield were going down to a controversial 1-0 loss away to Easington Colliery in the Northern League Division 1, me and him were speeding the 163 miles from leafy NE7 to the furthest western outpost of Scottish League football. Our destination was Stranraer’s Stair Park for the tussle with Forfar Athletic, that constituted my 42^nd SPFL tick, though I still need to revisit Queen’s Park as they now play at Lesser Hampden, adjoining their former home at the Scottish National Stadium, to complete the set.

This was actually my third attempt at visiting Stranraer. Firstly, back in February, Gary had to bail when a pal was visiting from Birkenhead and then at the start of October, a work trip for him to either the Shetlands or the Orkneys (I forget which) put paid to that plan. I did look at doing it by public transport (I’m a non-driver you see), but the journey would have been an ordeal, Leaving Newcastle at 08.06, taking two trains and a bus in either direction, before getting back at 23.34. Despite my Over 60s Railcard, this was just too much to cope with. Thus, the first day of November was set in stone and we left mine at 10.00, had a quick Costa stop on the outskirts of Dumfries, which is when I discovered I’d forgotten my phone and so couldn’t get any pictures of the day out and  eventually pulled into the free car park that was the derelict remains of the old Sealink ferry terminal loading bay, at 1.30 pm.

Back in the day, I’d journeyed the A74 numerous times, as I attended the University of Ulster in County Derry between 1983 and 1986, often travelling on the Stranraer to Larne ferry. Now that was a journey and a half. The only way to do it, courtesy of Lord Beeching tearing up the Dumfries to Stranraer train line, was to leave Newcastle at 02.52 and travel via Edinburgh and Glasgow, changing stations, then take the Ferry to Larne, train to Belfast, changing stations, onwards to Coleraine, arriving in Portrush at 18.13. Mind I was a lot younger in those days. The last time I’d done that trek was in Summer 1988, by National Express in point of fact, which was before the A74 upgrade that bypassed Dumfries, Newton Stewart, Creetown, Gatehouse of Fleet and Castle Kennedy. While it’s still a hell of a trek, it no longer feels like Chairman Mao’s long march. It’s quite a scenic trip along the Galloway coast and you do get to see Castle Cary Park, the home of Creetown FC, who were inactive the day we passed, being the spare side in the 11-team South of Scotland League.

Stranraer, from what I’d remembered, is hideous. Partly that was as a result of the PTSD engendered spending 9 hours in the freezing Ferry Terminal on Sunday 15^th January 1984, when our ferry was cancelled. That said, I did enjoy an idyllic family holiday in the nearby small resort of Portpatrick in 1974. No chance of visiting that old haunt today of course. No chance of a sociological saunter through Stranraer either. Instead, Gary and I left the car, surrounded by derelict caravans which may have been Stranraer’s take on Airbnb and struck back up the road to Stair Park, which is in a public park, also called Stair Park.

Stranraer were formed in 1870 and are Scotland’s third oldest club, and their history is proudly displayed on some interesting posters inside the ground, but they don’t make the most of any commercial opportunities that may come their way. Team sheets were given out free in the stiflingly hot clubhouse, but there were no programmes and the club shop was closed. I inquired and was given a vague promise that “someone would be along later” to open it up, but I just let that slide. We entered the ground (£15 adults and £10 for us codgers; cash only), where I bought a decent steak (brisket) pie, before we took our place at pitch side, from where we saw the home side prevail in a mainly comfortable 3-1 win.

Stair Park is a decent little ground. It reminded of Montrose or Cove Rangers. One end is completely open, but the other has a reasonable covered shed with about 8 steps of terracing. Each side has a stand that covers halfway, with other bits of terracing. We took in the first half from the main stand side and the second from the terracing by the entrance. Views are good from all angles, and we saw all the goals perfectly. Stranraer put lengthy highlights on YouTube and from viewing them the day after, I saw that what I had initially thought was a soft penalty for the home side was absolutely nailed on. They scored it to lead at the break. The football was honest, if a little too much of the lump it and hope variety, but the game improved greatly after the break.

This was partly because Forfar equalised. What those around us claimed was an offside goal, was a mile on according to the highlights, if against the run of play. It resulted in an absolute torrent of oath-edged personal invective directed at the assistant who failed to raise his flag. I felt sorry for this individual who suffered both male pattern baldness and a bizarre Mallen streak down the back of his head. While the supporters kept up a barrage of foul-mouthed abuse for the rest of the contest, the players forgot about the inaction of the tonsorially challenged one and set about winning the game, with a brace of good late goals. Firstly, Ryan Edgar powered in a great header and then substitutes, the magnificently named, Dominic Plank and Deryn Lang combined to win the game for the home side. All we were missing was an entry from the bench of the unfortunately-monikered Beejay Coll, to give us all a happy ending.

Being so far west, the game finished in the gloaming not darkness and we got away at 5.10. With no stops, Gary was dropping me off, to be reunited with my phone, by 7.45 after a great day out. Full speed ahead to Queen’s Park next Saturday then.