Bad Blood

 NUFC; September 2024. We've got Johnny Johnny Johnny Johnny Johnny Ruddy on the bench, on the bench. NUFC; October 2024. We've got Roger Roger Roger Roger Roger Thornton on the board, on the board.

Percy Main's narrow 10-0 loss away to North Shields Athletic in our local derby last weekend was the last game I'll see of ours for a while. However, and I must be clear about this, the result is not what will be keeping me away from Purvis Park in the immediate future, as I'm fully aware of the fact that both management and players are giving their utmost in highly trying circumstances . No, the fact is I'm going to be busy for a few weekends in a row. Saturday 12 October will see me at Durham Gala Theater for a reading by David Peace from his new novel Munichs (and we're off for a pint afterwards). Yes, I won't be at a football game, astonishingly enough. Saturday 19 I'm in Brussels with Ben to see Royal Union St Gilloise v Genk, as well as to sample the odd lambic or saison. Saturday 26 sees me attending Montrose v Cove Rangers as I zoom in on completing the 42. Hence, I'll not be able to see The Main until our trip to Burradon New Fordley on the first Saturday in November. The fact we lost 8-0 at home to them back in August has already tempered my expectations, unlike large numbers of those who intend to support Newcastle United, who reacted to the loss to Fulham and drew at Everton with the kind of wry sense of humor akin to Macduff's response to the murder of his family in the Scotch Play.

I don't know about you, but I'm becoming ever more conscious of the fact I'm too old to understand how youngsters analyze football these days. Don't even begin to ask for an explanation of the Man City court case that, apparently, they and the Premier League both won (I thought that was called a draw?). Even matters on the pitch are too complicated for us old fellas these days. To me, the final score is what matters, meaning that Newcastle v Man City and Everton v Newcastle are worth the same at the end of the day. I mean, I do recognize a point against City is a more praiseworthy outcome than a point against the Scouse Mackems, but apparently, I'm being naïve and old fashioned (at the same time?) and that I need to get with the program by looking at the stats and XG in particular in order to grasp the complexities of the modern game. Frankly, no thanks; football is an art, sometimes a brutal one, not a science, so don't try and blind me with equations and theorems. Let's just look at how often the ball hits the net, or otherwise, as at Goodison Park.

Since the last international break, Newcastle have played 5 games (four of them in the league and one in the League Cup). While 4 were broadcast live, the only one I got to see was the Everton one. The Wolves game was the first time it struck me this season that allowing my cheap deal with Virgin to expire and not sign up again for a Sky Sports package may have been an error. After putting up with BBC website coverage of a performance that seemed to be going nowhere, I switched the thing off after an hour. I’d seen the solid start, mini collapse and late rally at Bournemouth, and it seemed we were only going to see the first two elements of that recipe on this instance. Of course, in the same way that you’re never more than six feet away from a rat, modern technology means you’re never more than 10 seconds from a goal alert. Notifications of the blinding long-range strikes by Schar and then Barnes had me dancing round the living room. Of course, I didn’t know about Pope’s brilliant late save until I saw the highlights. He’s no good with his feet you know, as the social media doom mongers insist. Whatever the truth in that assertion, the simple truth was that, on the back of the score from Molineux, if Newcastle won at Fulham, they would go top of the Premier League.

We didn't. We lost badly and I blanked all coverage of the highlights, by ignoring Match of the Day , because I think sulking silently is the most mature way to handle defeat. Things might have been different if Joelinton's early effort had stood, but it didn't, and things didn't get any better from that point onwards. I would point out though, at the end of last season Newcastle finished in a slightly disappointing 7th place, after suffering terrible injuries, a loss of form and putting in as many a shoddy performances as sparkling ones. This season, we're in exactly the same position after turning in a series of, apparently, terrible performances that should see us sack Howe while sticking with him, spend £300m in January while waiting until next Summer before bringing more players in, at the same time as selling Gordon, Longstaff and Trippier while building a team around them.

The really crazy thing though, is just how many people seem to know the intimate details of a supposedly blazing row/power struggle between Eddie Howe and Paul Mitchell, with the shadowy presence of James Bunce (whoever he is and whatever he is paid to do ) lurking in the background. Back in my day, the club was owned by Westwood (is a Pirate), Russell Cushing signed the checks and Joe Harvey managed the team. End of story. Now we've got a whole panoply of suited executives doing lots of different important tasks. Even this week, some chancers were commenting wisely on social media about what a “shrewd move” it was to appoint a new director I've never heard of (“we've got Roger Roger Roger Roger Roger Thornton on the board, on the board"). I suppose it makes a change from signing yet another goalkeeper ("we've got Johnny Johnny Johnny Johnny Johnny Ruddy on the bench, on the bench"), although it won't do anything to silence the hysterical squealing from the Fourth Estate or prevent another doom-laden True Faith h editorial telling us exactly what to think.

Whatever the truth behind the Howe/Mitchell Mexican stand-off, the really sad news is that Darren Eales has been diagnosed with a fairly severe form of cancer. It's a tragedy for him and his family. Let's hope it isn't used as a way for various self-appointed fan oracles to empire build on the back of it. One thing the under 30s have got right is their absolute contempt for the Chronophiliac apologists for the House of Saud and the atrichorous chuckle heads who insist that we all keep on keepin' on. All of this came about in the week of the AFC Wimbledon postponement, leading up to the Man City game. I think most of us were dreading this one, not just because we'd not been playing great, but because they're so maddeningly good. In the end, a solid point and a sparkling team performance (the best of the season) restored something like positivity to the NUFC supporting world.

I really will have to give the AFC Wimbledon game a bit of a swerve as I was down in Manchester watching another mesmerizing gig by Godspeed You! Black Emperor. All I'll say is that it was good to see the Mythological Greek get some pitch time, meaning that Johnny Johnny Johnny Johnny Johnny Ruddy had to stay on the bench, on the bench. Despite the win, there were still murmurings because Osula wasn't at the same standard as Isak yet, but moaners like that are never satisfied.

Goodness knows what they made of Jordan Pickford and Anthony Gordon sharing a laugh and a chat at full time after the Everton game. Fair play to little arms for doing his homework for the penalty and also to Calvert Lewin for recognizing after the game he'd fouled Burn and not the other way round. In truth, we should have won this and the reason we didn't is the lack of a proper alternative to Isak, as Wilson appears to be claiming PIP these days. Let's hope he gets well soon, although I doubt he will, as we face Brighton (H), Chelsea (A), Chelsea (H – League Cup), Arsenal (H) and Forest (A) in the next series of matches. We need 6 points minimum and a cup victory to be achieving anything close to a reasonable set of results.