Thursday 30 March 2023

East Allotment

 The latest issue of the North Ferriby fanzine View from the Allotment End is out and you should buy it, not just because it includes this piece from me, which is a slight rewriting of this piece -: http://payaso-de-mierda.blogspot.com/2023/03/handwashing.html 


Following the takeover of Newcastle United by the Saudi Arabian Public Investment Fund (PIF) in October 2021, it seemed as if all football supporters were beholden to examine their consciences and question their personal morality as to the desirability, on every possible level, of such a deal. Unfortunately, asking a fan of any club to analyse such complex and multifaceted dealings rationally and dispassionately is fraught with danger. For a start, every football supporter who expresses an opinion on the takeover is, by definition, doing so from a biased perspective, as to be a fan of any club, be it Newcastle United or not, means that you consciously or unconsciously, place the interests of your own team above all others. To this extent, most fans effectively adopt an antagonistic stance towards every other team in their division, and possibly the remaining 91 teams in the Football League. Speaking anecdotally, I can go through an alphabetical list of each club in the Premier League from AFC Bournemouth to Wolverhampton Wanderers and give reasons for despising them all, even if Newcastle United have been the cause of far more heartache than every other team put together over the past 50 years.

Because football fans carry with them an inherent and instinctive prejudice, it is probably unrealistic to expect an articulate and perceptive response to the PIF takeover of Newcastle United, whether in favour of it or against. This is why, in an act of shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted, it seems that the Government are keen on imposing a regulatory commission on the football authorities, even if the Premier League are squealing about this like an overtired 5 year old. Ignoring the hornet’s nest that is the Manchester City situation, one does wonder whether such a regulatory body would have found the direct links between the Saudi government and the PIF to be a barrier to the takeover. There is a good chance it would have, but then again, the PIF takeover took place during the Johnson premiership, when the levels of corruption in public life were endemic to the extent that any deal that wasn’t dodgy stood out.

Really, the events at St James Park were very small beer compared to the dealings involving Michelle Mone’s PPE empire and nefarious Russian oligarchs that made so many evil Tories rich beyond the imaginings of we mere mortals while thousands of ordinary people starved, froze and died unnecessarily.  Coming back to the present and Amnesty International’s latest comments on the governance of NUFC; like any rational human being, I completely accept the fact that the blood-soaked theocratic House of Saud should not have been allowed anywhere near Newcastle United, but realise the pragmatic, line of least resistance that the football authorities will almost certainly adopt, means that there is absolutely no likelihood of a retrospective demand that the PIF divest themselves of their investments on Barrack Road and Strawberry Place. However, and I’ll return to this later, I would say such an eventuality is far more likely to happen for business reasons than questions of morality.

Fans of other clubs, almost without realising it, bring their own ideological standpoint to the table when discussing NUFC. Obviously, the most vehement opponents of Newcastle’s supposed new found wealth are local rivals Sunderland. However, one does not need to be a dyed in the wool Geordie to realise that those on Wearside screaming their disgust from the rooftops and displaying such new found enthusiasm for Amnesty International’s pronouncements on the deal, is a philosophical standpoint based on less than secure foundations. Similarly, followers of teams that have developed, for sometimes impossible to accurately divine reasons, an animus towards the Magpies, in particular Aston Villa and Everton, express their disapproval in somewhat less than convincing terms. To be taken seriously, it would seem obvious that trying to persuade Newcastle fans could be a better tactic than simply insulting them in gross and offensive terms. However, that’s never going to happen, is it? When irate empty vessels take to social media and compare Newcastle United to Al Qaeda or the Taliban, it doesn’t take a great deal of nous to realise that Islamophobia plays a huge part in the opposition to Newcastle United’s majority ownership. In some ways, I suppose this is less gratuitously offensive than mocking minority owner Amanda Staveley’s facial features, which have been affected by her medical condition, Huntington’s Disease. Google it; the prognosis isn’t great, to say the least.

As regards the potential for internecine strife among Newcastle United fans on the subject of the club’s ownership; there probably isn’t any. While there is a small, if not insignificant, pressure group called NUFC Against Sportswashing, their “silent protest” outside the Chelsea game last November attracted the grand total of 8 demonstrators. Bearing in mind their leader hasn’t lived in Newcastle for 40 years and has been resident in the Basque Country since 1992, I think it is fair to say this particular crusade won’t get very far. Back on Planet Earth,  I literally only know of 3 people who have jacked in going to the games on the grounds that their conscience wouldn’t allow their continued attendance. Fair play to them, but it is instructive to compare their stance to the literally thousands upon thousands of former match going Mags who gave up season tickets, me and my son included, while Mike Ashley owned the club. While not seeking to in any way compare the activities of the two sets of owners (Ashley may have been a wilfully destructive tyrant, but he’s not defenestrated any members of the LGBT+ community or stoned women to death for extramarital sex, as far as I’m aware), it is impossible to downplay the hatred on Tyneside for Ashley and the whole Sports Direct circus. Therefore, to celebrate his departure and show gratitude to new owners who have invested in the team and assisted in the reanimation of a moribund club, is not necessarily a way of tacitly supporting genocide in Yemen. To suggest otherwise is mendacious in the extreme.

However, if the current constituency of match going supporters are almost uniformly appreciative of the current ownership, there does still seem to be a growing fissure among the fan base, which was brought into the public eye after the Carabao Cup defeat to Manchester United. This loss was not unexpected, bearing in mind Man United’s stellar form over the last few months, which contrasted markedly with Newcastle’s recent lack of a cutting edge. Not only was Nick Pope suspended and Bruno Guimaraes just returning from a 3 game ban, but Callum Wilson has been woefully out of form ever since returning from the World Cup. Newcastle’s last brilliant performance was away to Leicester on Boxing Day and Wilson was injured for that, allowing Chris Wood, senselessly sold to Nottingham Forest, to lead the line brilliantly. He would have been a great option to bring off the bench at Wembley, as the half fit and seemingly uninterested Wilson barely had a kick all game.

Reading the comments on social media, travelling Newcastle fans, of which there were as many in the capital without tickets for the game as there were those possessing briefs, split almost exactly down the middle in their response to events. One half talked about a brilliant weekend, a sense of joy at the reborn club, the magnificent support in Trafalgar Square on the Saturday night and a hope for the future that the disappointment of the game itself will be swept away by future events. Basically, an optimistic and slightly naïve take on events, but certainly preferable to the peevish, niggardly naysaying of an elderly, sour faced element, grimacing in their Ebay Belstaff snides at the very thought of the younger support actually daring to enjoy themselves in defeat.  Decrying the “loser mentality” of showing happiness after simply reaching a final, calling out the “small time” attitudes of those who partied in Trafalgar Square and bellyaching that the 33,000 fans in the ground simply sat and watched the game, instead of presumably turning it into a seething pit of hate, these grouchy Grandpas in their Peaky Blinders hats, furrowed their already lined brows by taking out their frustrations on fellow fans. One plank even tweeted that the Newcastle support was “just like a home game.” Well, there’s a surprise…

To me, the pessimists are looking at the wrong targets. If you want someone to blame for the defeat in the final and the loss of form before that, look at the ownership, not your fellow fan. A half a season of superb, high tempo, relentless pressing football was always going to take it out of a team that probably only has 3 fringe players of the standard of the first XI. Ask yourself why, if money is no object, more players weren’t identified and brought in during January, other than the exciting, though cup-tied, Anthony Gordon. Question why Chris Wood was sold and Karl Darlow sent out on loan to warm the bench at Hull City. I may be in the minority here, but I feel questions about the current ownership of Newcastle United will not be relevant in the longer term as, despite the gushing sentiments from the boardroom following the cup final defeat, I don’t see the Saudi investors hanging around in the long term. If their departure comes to pass then, and only then, I will truly have my club back.

 



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