Needlework

 Practical solutions for how to keep infection rates low after COVID-19 restrictions end....

And so, for reasons of commercial greed and not common sense, we will be entering what will have to pass for normality in this benighted, post-Apocalyptic, Brexit-scarred dystopian land on July 19th. Having dispensed with the loathsome, priapic walking pile of corrupt ordure that is Matt Hancock, whose sole concern during all those long months of public service was to exponentially expand the mountain of stolen money that the pandemic had provided him with, that other loathsome, priapic walking pile of corrupt ordure that is Boris Johnson has ceded all authority on matters of medical import to the self-appointed Surgeon General and de facto head of the BMA, that renowned epidemiologist Dr Sajid Javid; a man so fabulously and immorally wealthy he has no discernible urge to further bleed the British public dry, preferring to set out his stall as Lord High Executioner by turning his death amp one louder.

Speaking as someone, double vaccinated and part of a daily lateral flow test scheme at work, who is desperate to attend football games and see live bands again, I should be happy about this; and, in a way, I am. However, despite clear signs that the Coronavirus variants are not so life-threatening to society as a result of the comprehensive vaccination programme thus far, I feel we are being too liberal in our restoration of freedom, especially to those who do not deserve it and who remain the single biggest threat to the existence of humanity on this planet. Just look at the demented looks of visceral sexual arousal on the faces of Stanley Southmoor and Hilda Park while they lewdly paw at Chris Witty’s clothing in a London park. They don’t just need prosecuting; they need to be destroyed. 

I am talking, of course about the danger posed by the tinfoil hat wearing lunatic fringe, who are no longer simply an eccentric bunch of conspiracy theory worshipping cranks. With their blatant refusal to have the vaccine or wear masks in public, these super-spreading headcases are the most powerful weapons of mass infection the virus has at its disposal. Before July 19th, we need to grasp the neetle and effect root and branch reforms to keep this lot off the streets and under lock and key, for as long as it is necessary. If that means the rest of their lives, so be it; after all, they have displayed an utter lack of concern for the wellbeing of the rest of society from the very start of this pandemic.

Ideally, I would like to see the following measures introduced alongside any relaxation of lockdown measures -:

1. All doubly vaccinated citizens to be allowed to live their lives legally, without let or hindrance.

2. Legislation enacted whereby the entire unvaccinated tranche of the population, including under 18s in cohorts delineated by secondary or primary school attendance, are compulsorily double vaccinated at the earliest opportunity.

3. Those who have been single vaccinated by July 18th are allowed to live their lives legally, without let or hindrance, though the wearing of masks for this group is to be compulsory and rigorously enforced, with any deviation from the law, whatever the cause, to result in house arrest until their scheduled, second vaccination.

4. As lists of those who have had one or two vaccinations are easily accessible by the NHS and other authorities, all those who have hitherto not embraced the offer of vaccines for their appropriate age groups can be identified. Those who can be persuaded of the need to be vaccinated will be rapidly inoculated and then allowed to live their lives as per the rules relating to all others singly vaccinated, as described in point 3. Masks of course, will be compulsory.

5. All unvaccinated, even those with medical exemptions, will not be allowed outside after July 19th. Those who refuse to adhere to rules about masking and single vaccination restrictions, have the choice of either electronic tagging to enable limited access to the outside world or compulsory house arrest. Any further transgressions will result in their being detained in rural prison camps for as long as is deemed necessary. 

6. Those who refuse to be vaccinated will be immediately stripped of the rights to benefits or NHS treatment. If they are employed in the public sector, they will be dismissed without notice or compensation. They will be forcibly electronically tagged until such time as they comply with the law and accept vaccination. If, after 30 days, they do not comply, they will be compulsorily transported to rural prison camps and all of their assets, property and possessions confiscated. They will only be allowed to leave once they have been doubly vaccinated.

If you’ve read my proposals and are thinking that these measures are a trifle draconian, then I’d agree with you. However, desperate times need desperate measures and madmen like Piers Corbyn and David Broadmoor need to be emasculated before their terrifying, genocidal ideology is allowed to breed. We must put the greater good before the so-called human rights of a bunch of anti vaxxer nutters.

Options

 I accidentally saw my first football game of the season last week; where will I go next?

At some point during the week beginning Monday 12th July, I’ll post a blog about my take on the European Championships. However, that shouldn’t be seen as any indication I’ll be watching much live football from that point onwards, as I won’t be; at least not at weekends. We’re only halfway through the cricket season you see, with 11 Saturdays still dedicated to the unfolding of the 2021 NEPL, and thus the summer game will have my unbroken attention until and including 11th September, when Tynemouth end their campaign with a visit to Whitburn’s beautiful Village Ground.

That said, plans sometimes have to be changed. For instance, Saturday 26th June did not involve the expected annual trip to Roseworth Terrace and a game against South North. The rain that fell incessantly from Thursday evening for the next 48 hours put paid to that one. Indeed, all cricket in the area was off and so I did what any sensible soul would have done and took in some football instead; FC United of Newcastle versus the reanimated and potentially revitalised Percy Main Amateurs at the Langdale Centre.  I’d guess there were around 40 spectators, swathed in warm coats and thick hoodies against the worst of the midsummer monsoon, who saw a good, competitive encounter for at least the first hour. Sadly, fitness and injury issues restricted the home team and the newly fashioned Percy Main squad ran out 5-1 winners, which flattered them a bit. What I took away from proceedings was the superb performances from the respective number 4s and that Wallsend mud can wreck your trainers even with July around the corner.

It’s early days yet, but I’m looking forward to seeing a load more Percy Main games this season, seeing as I’ve stumped up for a season ticket at Purvis Park as part of the PMA 1919 scheme, whereby a donation of £19.19 will grant you admittance to all home fixtures. Follow this link and find out more: https://www.gofundme.com/f/the-1919-scheme?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link_all&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet 

To be frank it’s a good job I’ve got the cricket and Percy Main to focus on, as the hand of friendship hasn’t exactly been extended by many other participants in the local game. News has just came through that I’m still not welcome at Benfield, which continues to break my heart and had me as emotionally low as the aftermath of last year’s Co-Op incident. What can you do though? Grit my teeth and ask again next year is my plan at this moment in time. They are my team and I’d give anything to be allowed to watch them again. Of course, Ben field aren’t alone in barring their entrance gates to me; Guisborough Town and North Shields remain resolute in their opposition to me. That’s fine really, as I’m not be bothered if I never set foot in either of those grounds again in my life; Heaton Stannington as well where, contrary to lies spread by the usual suspects, I’ve not been declared persona non grata.

It does rile me that I’ve been blocked by the Northern Alliance Twitter feed; though I do know it isn’t anyone from the Committee who has made this capricious and mercurial decision. I think I’ll have a word with them to try and get this overturned, especially as it was for the heinous crime of dissenting from the Alliance’s decision to play all of the end of season Cup finals behind closed doors, by replying to one of the full time reports with “most importantly, nobody got to see any of it.” Strange isn’t it? I write so effusively about the Alliance and always mention how much I love it, and then this happens. 

Mind, I’ve also had cause to complain about the conduct of certain accounts on Twitter. I’ve made some good contacts with Redheugh B of the North East Combination League, but their Alliance side have been on the warpath since I described their game against Newcastle Independent (aka Jesmond) as a bit dull. In the end, I had a word with the Redheugh main account, who gave the Alliance lot a wrap across the knuckles and now everything is sorted, without need to take it to the Durham FA.

Sadly, on account of one two personally abusive comments by Newcastle Independent players, I was forced to complain to the Northumberland FA after their club declined to respond to my request they bring these fellows into line. As a result one player was charged with improper conduct and the other warned as to his future behaviour. It’s such a shame that representatives of a successful and expanding club (with a new team in Alliance D3 for next season) let themselves down so badly. I also was on the end of quite an offensive tweet by Walkergate FC, but that is an on-going situation and I’d rather say nothing about it at this time.

So, where else am I going to be watching football next season? In the Northern League, there is only 1 totally new ground; Redcar Town’s Mo Mowlam Stadium, where Division 2’s newcomers are based. The other two new entrants, or rather re-entrants, Blyth Town and Horden, have long been ticked off; Horden as far back as April 1996. Also in Division 2, Sunderland West End and Washington are sharing the redeveloped Ford Hub. I’ve been before, to see a Wearside League Cup final on a Baltic May Day, but will pop by again. Similarly, East Palmersville Pavilion has long been known as the home of Forest Hall FC, but recent developments have now transformed it into the new, permanent home of West Allotment Celtic and so I’d best get back there again, probably on a non-cricket midweek before the season starts because of its proximity.

In the Alliance, as well as the upwardly mobile Blyth Town, we’ve said goodbye to Morpeth Town Reserves and Wooler, while East End Reserves are now playing under the name of Walker Central, at Monkchester, and West Jesmond are West Moor and Jesmond, playing at West Moor.  There are thus 5 new entrants: Alnwick Town Development (St James’ Park), Fawdon (Druids’ Park) and Newcastle Independent Cabrito (Coach Lane) all playing at grounds I’ve been to before. The other two neophytes, Bedlington United (Blyth Sporting Club) and Whickham Under 23s (Whickham School) provide new opportunities, as do Ponteland United and Ponteland Reserves, at the former High School. Let’s just hope they relax their no spectators policy fairly soon. Of course, there’s still a chance Bedlington FC will go back to their nomadic ways, or the Hebburn U23s will use Clegwell 4G, especially if the first team are at home. We await news as to whether Burradon and New Fordley will continue at the John Willie Sams Centre or return to Burradon School.

Elsewhere, the Wearside League now boasts 3 divisions. I’ve visited 6 grounds in the top one, 4 plus 2 repeats in the middle league and 6 repeats in the basement, but only Coxhoe and Richmond remotely interest me in going south of the Tyne for a football fix. The presence of AFC Durham, Durham FC, Durham Corinthians (and Reserves), Durham County and Durham United shows the effect of Durham City’s implosion over the last few years. Still, nice to see a reformed Shotton Comrades in there and Murton’s ground being used, though what state it is in, I’m frightened to think. Closer to home the North East Combination League will run with 3 divisions next season. As yet, the website doesn’t include ground locations, but Hazlerigg, New York and Walkergate are absolute musts for me.

There are still plenty of other grounds to be visited; after being stuck in one location for so long, I yearn for the adventure of a train ride to a different city. In England, I’d love to visit: Barrow, Burton, Spurs, Sutton, FC United or even Ossett United. In Scotland, there are 20 grounds left on my SPFL list; I’ve got to get to Ayr, Cove, Motherwell and Peterhead sometime soon. Thankfully, there’s annual leave booked for the weeks beginning 9th August and 27th September. I’ll use it wisely.

On the One Redux

 I updated a piece I wrote for The Football Pink about supporting Ireland in the 1990 World Cup on Tyneside. It was intended for Pog Mo Gol, but I've had a better idea and look forward to revealing that soon. Anyway, here's something to keep you entertained -:

The 1988 European Championship finals provided Irish football fans, both at home and abroad, with a tangible sense of the validity of both the sport itself and the presence of the national team on a continental stage. Received wisdom had said that, prior to the backdoor qualification for Germany (an 83rd minute Scotland winner away to Bulgaria effectively booked the tickets), football in Ireland predominantly meant Gaelic football in the eyes of ordinary citizens from Malin Head to Wexford and that soccer (as only the Irish working classes and English elite call it) was the game of choice only in Dublin and surrounding areas. Undoubtedly there was some truth in this; across Ireland, bizarre social and geographical sporting factors persist, comparable to Fife’s role as the cradle of Scottish cricket, whereby rough and raucous Limerick is the spiritual home of Irish rugby and currently only 13 of Ireland’s 32 counties are represented by teams in the League of Ireland. Interestingly, in 1988/1989, 13 of Ireland’s 32 counties were represented by teams in the League of Ireland. However, the level of support in Ireland for the national side increased vastly in the aftermath of the 1988 finals and in England, those of us who had never been able, in all honestly, to even view ourselves as English never mind support their team, were finally provided with a focus for our sporting ethnic identification.  Put simply, Ray Houghton’s 7th minute winner over England in Stuttgart was the highpoint of our Irish supporting lives for hundreds of thousands of second and third generation Anglo Irish football fans. Such a shame that the 3.30pm kick off time on a Sunday afternoon meant almost all of us watched it at home. By us, I mean the Irish diaspora on Tyneside; first, second and third generation fans, kept sober by England’s archaic licensing laws.

Something deeply significant happened that would profoundly affect the Newcastle and north eastern Irish diaspora I am proud to be a member of, between Wim Kieft’s heartbreaking late winner for the Dutch on 18th June 1988 in Gelsenkirchen that denied Jack Charlton’s team a place in the semi-finals and the 0-0 draw with the north at Windsor Park that marked the start of Ireland’s qualifying campaign for Italia 90 just shy of three months later. On Monday 22nd August English licensing laws, that had restricted the sale of alcohol in the afternoon ever since the introduction of the 1914 Defence of the Realm Act, were liberalised to the extent that pubs were now able to remain open all day, except on a Sunday where closure between 3.00 to 7.00 was still a legal requirement.  Effectively, though the legislators weren’t to know it at the time, this would mean that the 1990 World Cup was the first tournament any of us had watched in the pub. Frankly, it was probably also the first World Cup finals that grabbed the entire collective imagination of fans of Irish football.

The infrequent and irregular broadcasting of live matches in those days, not to mention the lack of readily accessible information in the pre internet era, meant the centrality of international games to the football fan’s experience was not as pronounced as it supposedly is today.  While I recall the rescheduling of an important meeting at work in September 1989 to allow football fans to get home for a tea-time kick off between Sweden and England, in the game Terry Butcher split his head open (“people have won a VC for less,” according to Bobby Robson), international breaks were given less prominence than the week long cancellation of all other games, like a period of prolonged and solemn mourning for proper football, we are forced to endure now. Partly it was due to the lack of media exposure, partly due to the absence of widespread sporting hyperbole in the pre Sky era and partly because of a lack of coherence in fixture scheduling. For instance, Ireland’s home games would kick off in the afternoon, even midweek, as Lansdowne Road didn’t have floodlights until 1993. The result of these factors was that teams completed their qualifying campaigns almost unnoticed, as it was only the tournaments themselves that really grabbed media attention. For us in the diaspora,  it was only after Ireland’s 3-0 trouncing of the North on 11th October 1989 that the true significance became clear; avoid defeat in Malta and qualification would be assured. The 2-0 victory courtesy of a double by John Aldridge meant Ireland were on our way to Italy. On Tyneside, Jack Charlton’s dismal spell in charge of Newcastle United had been conveniently forgiven and forgotten for those of us with green blood feeding our black and white hearts. 

The labyrinthine draw for the final groups for Italia 90 took place on Saturday 9th December 1989. Sulking over post match pints in The Wheatsheaf in Felling following a 3-2 home loss to Oxford United, the atmosphere was lifted by Grandstand passing on the news that Ireland had been grouped with Holland, Egypt and, best of all, England. Spontaneous shouting and roaring broke out, supplanted by a prolonged chant of There’s only one Ray Houghton rending the air.  However, unlike today there was no sense of gathering hysteria at the imminent tournament. For a start, there was half a domestic season to endure, not to mention 5 unbeaten friendlies before the whole thing kicked off. 

Received wisdom tells a narrative that suggests the 1990 World Cup finals were watched with deep regional pride in the north east as Beardsley, Gascoigne and Waddle, as well as Bobby Robson represented the Geordie Nation; that isn’t how I recall it at all. Personally, I was deeply upset that Newcastle’s uncompromising full back John Anderson didn’t get the nod to join Jack’s boys in Italy, but I’d got over it by the time the whole thing kicked off with Cameroons hoofing Argentina all over the shop Friday 8th June.

Over thirty one years have gone by since Italia 90; a shade under half my life. However, my memories of the tournament as a whole, if not the actual games themselves, remain clear.  English patriotism, rather than a more insidious form of nationalism that appeared to develop at later tournaments, was widespread, infectious and often remarkably innocent. Despite  the occasional news footage of yahoos in Union Jack shorts and oxblood Doc Marten’s repeatedly firing volleys of plastic patio furniture at advancing riot cops, the reality of the World Cup for those in England itself was a lot more relaxed, with fun being the keynote. As a Joy Division fan, I regard New Order as being very much an inferior act, but they managed to surf the zeitgeist with World in Motion. I don’t recall ever hearing Put ‘Em Under Pressure this side of the water. As a fan of Horslips, I think that was a shame. Thankfully, the team took the message on board and the opening 1-1 draw with England, courtesy of Ronnie Whelan’s long range finish, was richly deserved. The best accounts of watching the games actually in Ireland are by Roddy Doyle; a factual essay can be found in the When Saturday Comes book My Favourite Year, but far more memorable is the description of events in a fictional Barrytown bar in his novel The Van. I couldn’t hope to match his prose in attempting to convey the passion, excitement and pride involved in supporting Ireland that night. Suffice to say, a packed Wheatsheaf almost exploded with delight as the equaliser went in, followed by clenched fists, serious drinking and atonal singing of traditional songs well past closing time by about 30 of us, an eclectic collection that embraced 60 year olds who could have been members of The Dubliners and 19 year old students in replica shirts. For the avoidance of doubt; this wasn’t anti English, it was pro-Irish. Unlike certain enclaves of North London or the West of Scotland, to celebrate Irish cultural identity wasn’t to try and focus on events in Belfast. We kept politics out of sport, even when singing about Sir Roger Casement, the last Englishman to do as much for Ireland as Jack Charlton did.

In contrast, the following Sunday’s 0-0 draw with Egypt slipped by almost unnoticed. While England and Holland had played out a similar stalemate the night before, cheered on by thronged pubs the length of the land, the Sunday afternoon alcoholiday denied Ireland fans this opportunity. You watched it in the house, or not at all. Shamefully, I’ll admit to watching it on video as I used to play 5 a side on Sunday afternoons and this took precedence. However, at least I got to see that game; even if it was so terrible I fast forwarded my way through most of it. The following Thursday saw the deciding group games, with the BBC opting to show England versus Egypt. Back then there was no internet streaming, no satellite TV coverage, no digital radio, no email or text updates and, in many cases, not even any Ceefax enabled tellies to keep abreast with the scores.

Gathering in The Wheatsheaf, the only option was to crowd round an elderly solid state transistor, tuned in to the shaky reception provided by RTE radio. The signal was terrible and after half an hour of murmured conversations being shushed and murderous glances shot at those who drank loudly or drew noisy on their smokes, during which time Ruud Gullit’s quality finish had put the Dutch ahead, we abandoned the project and nervously watched England crawl to a 1-0 win, while waiting for updates from Palermo. During the second half there were none and, glumly, we assumed the worst. A crowd of us stood chain smoking like expectant fathers in maternity waiting rooms when Des Lynham, who used to be Irish a long time ago, cut to footage of Niall Quinn’s brutal equaliser.  It was the quintessential Irish goal; Packie Bonner leathered it up the pitch, van Aerle’s back pass had too much behind it, van Breukelen fumbled the ball and Quinn slid the loose ball home. As the realisation hit we’d made the last 16, pandemonium broke out. Glasses and drinks went everywhere as fellas scrambled onto tables and the counter, punching the air. Even better, it turned out that as both teams had identical records; lots had been drawn to find out the next round’s opponents. High tech or what? No matter, the good news was we’d be playing Romania not Germany.

The following Monday was perhaps the most tense I’ve ever been watching a game on television in my life. Despite half the bar’s clientele taking a day’s holiday in preparation and drinking themselves into a fervour for the 5pm kick off, the stakes were now so high that you couldn’t enjoy it. 90 scoreless minutes were followed by an equally barren period of extra time; penalties. It wasn’t football, it was chess. Jack  couldn’t watch; he scrounged a smoke off a spectator and looked away. In The Wheatsheaf some went outside, others prayed; only half a dozen of us could watch it all. Eight regulation spot kicks were converted and then; Timofte. The sight of Packie Bonner, huge, diving the right way, emerging hands aloft was a perfect image for the tournament. The fact that David O’Leary scored the decisive kick was almost incidental. There was no triumphalism this time among our crowd; there were tears. The tension broke, the adrenaline crashed and the stunning reality of a World Cup quarter final place for Ireland dawned on us. Almost silently, spent, the bar emptied long before Italy booked their place with a 2-0 win over Uruguay.

Ireland’s 1994 World Cup campaign was Jack’s last hurrah and the 1-0 win over Italy in New York, courtesy of Ray Houghton, was the moment of the tournament for me. Sadly in 1990, Ireland were too respectful  and lost 1-00 when Schillaci, a man entirely of the moment, pounced after Bonner’s parry and drove the ball home for a winner.  In the bar, we took defeat with grace and dignity; sure we’d not expected to get this far and frankly, wallets were empty and livers enlarged by 3 weeks of serious drinking. 

In looking back at the tournament, I see a very different Ireland and a very different world. While the moans and snide digs about the Granny rule and mercenary players persisted in some quarters, the real influence was that young Irish kids were enabled to play whichever version of football they wanted; GAA or Garrison Game. Through more than a quarter of a century of boom and bust, of Celtic Tiger, Merkel’s bail-out and the seemingly endless pandemic, Irish football has undergone similar highs and lows. What began in Stuttgart in 1988, became real in Italy in 1990 and continues to this day, is the importance of the Ireland national team at home and abroad; for that reason Italia 90 will live in my memory forever.

Taking The Stand

 The new issue of "View From The Allotment End   (@VFTAE) is taking advance orders; you should buy one of course. I've got this article in it, supporting the continued necessity of taking the knee before games, which Hopeless Football Romantic (@WeAreHFR) rejected -:

On 13 July last year, in those delusional days of misplaced optimism after the end of the initial lockdown, I played my first game of 6-a-side football in almost 4 months. The first set of COVID-19 restrictions had prevented a dozen of us, who regard our weekly, competitive kickabout that has been taking place at six o’clock on a Monday evening for the past two decades, as an essential, if not sacrosanct, part of our lives, from indulging in the most liberating and affirmative physical activity any of us partake in. It felt wonderful to be back, so to mark the wider social implications of football (and in this article I won’t be discussing cricket, rugby or any other sport) within the context of events that had disfigured so much of 2020, I felt a compulsion, almost a duty, to take the knee before kick-off in my return to the sport I love almost as much as cricket. 

My gesture probably went unseen by the rest of those playing; certainly, it was not remarked on by anyone, either at the time, or subsequently, but I’m glad I made the effort, however insignificant, as I felt the need to connect, to offer support and to share fellow feelings with those who’d suffered and who sought to defy their tormentors in my own modest way. Despite regularly reminding myself of the importance of replicating this gesture as an on-going sign of physical and ethical solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement, I have not subsequently taken the knee, not even during that brief and foolish window of opportunity in December when the chance to play again returned. The shallow explanation for my sin of omission is a weak one; merely aged-related, multiple memory lapses. All too often, despite chiding myself all day in advance of the game, I forget to show my unconditional opposition to something that none of us should ever forget to oppose; the single, most evil and pernicious prejudice in this whole world. Racism.

In the periods between the first and second, then second and third lockdowns and now the cautious move towards normality, I have attended 22 football matches, the overwhelming majority of them being at what has been termed as grassroots level, namely step 7 or below. Not one of these games was prefaced by a single person taking the knee, even when black players were participating in the fixtures. I have no idea why that should be the case. I mean, I could speculate, but I won’t. Suffice to say, I don’t think it has a sinister provenance.

As a subscriber to Sky Sports with access to sundry free to air channels, I have watched, generally with a growing sense of restive contempt, an excessive number of Premier League, Championship, FA Cup, SPFL Premier and Championship games. To my enormous gratitude and relief, in almost every single one of them, kick off has been marked with an immaculately respectful, and respected in games where a crowd was present, taking of the knee by all concerned, other than St. Mirren’s shambolic Keystone Kops drill on the opening day of the season. Look it up on YouTube. Done properly, it looks superb, and it relentlessly hammers home the message that Black Lives Matter and racism has no place in this world, though I know such opinions aren’t shared universally. But so what?

Frankly, I don’t much care if houses all across the country resound at kick-off time to the bigoted, empty rhetoric of the saloon bar bore, compelled to unhelpfully ask; “what’s that got to do with football?” As a spectacle, I think it is magnificent and I am supremely energised by the message it is intended to convey. That is not to say games elsewhere have been played in an atmosphere uniformly supportive of the BLM movement, both on and off the pitch, as the predictable outpouring of bile from Millwall supporters before their home loss to Derby County last December showed.

The fact that the Lions’ next opponents QPR, a club with as multiracial and multi-ethnic a supporter base as any in the land, decided to reinstate taking the knee in support of BLM for that game, which effectively silenced all boos with the eyes of the country’s media on The New Den, having weeks earlier dispensed with the pre-game “ritual” as their director of football, the unimpeachable Les Ferdinand, termed it, is a point worthy of note.

This is especially true when one considers that the unvarnished and uncomfortable truth about the ideology, importance and effect of taking the knee in support of BLM is that while public displays of defiant solidarity are visually striking and emotionally stirring, it is clear from the torrent of racist sewage on social media that the opinions of sub-human pond life that hold such vile opinions have not been moved a scintilla by the proud stance taken by those who sought to disrupt the appalling narrative that blamed George Floyd for his own death, though thankfully a jury denounced such mendacity. Perhaps Sir Les, the polar opposite to an Uncle Tom, had sought to disengage QPR from what he felt had become a tokenist gesture. If he had become rightfully disenchanted with the empty rhetoric of the media talking heads, the indolent social media behemoths and the game’s smug, senior administrators whose outpourings of crocodile tears have achieved the thick end of jack shit in their alleged opposition to the indefensible state of affairs whereby racists, hatespeakers and other sordid mouthbreathers feel they have the inalienable right of free speech, then who can blame him?

Of course, the efficacy of the social media blackout over the May Day weekend by a huge range of professional and amateur sporting institutions, has yet to be evaluated. Whatever the outcome of that well-intentioned, campaigning gesture may be, the importance of taking the knee, and why I hope it continues as long as necessary, remains. In my opinion, it shames and intimidates racists into silence, as they know their beliefs and attitudes are not just socially unacceptable, but that they will be challenged head on in an uncompromising manner.

A few years ago, I used to think of Ian Wright as perhaps not an Uncle Tom, but an approximation the kind of cab driving, replica shirted, Carling swigging, kneejerk patriot whose every utterance made me nervous. However, and I’m not sure when or why, he changed and deepened his thoughts and responses, to the extent that the level of nuance, self-reflection and perceptive comment from the fella on almost every subject, even football, makes me no longer judge, but love him. His genuine, profound and furious indignation at racism in sport and society as a whole, which he so eloquently expresses, is suffused with the kind of moral rectitude and ideological truth that means to argue against him is futile. And wrong. It is also clear that what he says is respected, endorsed and reinforced by generations of young black players who do not tolerate hate speech in life, or on line. Ian Wright’s iconic status as a footballer and a human being is utterly deserved and absolutely essential in the world we inhabit.

Similarly, witness the absolutely sickening abuse endured by James McClean, a footballer whose legacy will not be his direct and robust wing play, but his principled and inflexible support for Irish Republicanism, inculcated by a childhood where the last vestiges of British imperialism saw his community in Derry persecuted and marginalised by an oppressor’s occupying army. His political beliefs have long been the root cause of bigoted ethnocentric slurs by racists hiding behind the guise of patriotism. The fact McClean refuses to apologise for declining to wear a red poppy, believing it to have been bastardised into a symbol of triumphalism by the British state, has made him the victim of tirades of abuse by the British media and the object of unending death threats on social media. He closed his Twitter so the Little Englanders with minimal comprehension of what Remember 1690 actually means, followed him onto Instagram to threaten his daughters with death. Brave, brave men eh? It actually amazes me that McClean has endured a decade of venomous abuse and performed at such a high level with Sunderland, Wigan, West Brom and Stoke. He, like Ian Wright for black players, is a tribune for the marginalised and disenfranchised across the whole island of Ireland and, equally important, for the young diaspora making their way in England.

Perversely, I am encouraged that a significant a percentage of the social media abuse is revealed by the victims. Being on the end of such insults is nothing to be ashamed of; I applaud those who are empowered by the snide denigrations hurled at them, which they return with ten times the force, utterly humiliating the anonymous on-line bigots. The old argument that names will never harm was discredited years ago. Turning the other cheek to those whose heads Trotsky counselled us to anoint with the pavement has not been a realistic option this quarter of a century or more. Chat shit; get hit is the motto to live by.

Let’s face it; footage of Fascists getting a pasting, singularly or severally, always raises the spirits. You’d have to be pretty hard hearted not to like or retweet the sight of a Proud Boy with his nose smeared across his dial. Therefore, the opportunity to roast and ridicule the poor grammar and piteous politics of a Facebook fascist sniping at Marcus Rashford, or telling Alex Scott to “get on with the hovering” (I kid you not) cannot be ignored. This is why we don’t ignore racist Neanderthals and hope they go away; we prefer to drive them into hiding, to lick their smarting cyber wounds.

I haven’t counted up how many instances there have been of black footballers, male and female, being subjected to abuse on social media this season. Such an activity would be the kind of liberal self-flagellation of an earlier era that eschewed Malcolm X’s vade mecum; By Any Means Necessary.  Whatever the revolting total, it is far too many. Every week, or so it seems, another player draws attention to the fact he has been subject to screeds of abuse from fans of opposition sides who they’ve beaten, or even worse, so-called supporters of their own team screaming blue murder when they lose. Hear me ought though; while this is nothing short of a disgrace and a stain on society, the level of anger and outrage it provokes among the youth, both black and white, male and female, show social attitudes are changing. Yes, it is correct to call for legislative intervention; imprison the scum who post it and hit the hypocrites who control the platforms where it hurts, right in the pocket, for failing to maintain decent standards of behaviour, but never lose sight of the fact that the law is always running to keep up with what is happening in the real world. Until the legal framework is in place, we have to take the fight, on line and on the streets, to the fascists.

Also, despite the hurt these vindictive barbs may cause, we should not lose sight of the fact that those voicing this disgusting abuse are faceless, inadequate, pitiful excuses for human beings; who, in their right mind is going to look upon these wannabe Timothy McVeighs as a role model when you’ve got Marcus Rashford and Ian Wright calling these scumbags out? This is why we need to support and cherish the beauty and relevance of players taking the knee. It isn’t an empty gesture; it is an act full of import, relevance and power. This ritual kills fascists.

Pig Sick

So, last time I wrote about my dealings with Northumbria Babylon, it appeared as if the Feds had utterly outmanoeuvred me about the incidents with the scum in the VW Golf and, with the aid of the IOPC, had successfully pissed all over the bonfire I’d lit over the vanities of Doyle and Hall. Even appealing to IOPC top honcho got me nowhere, as you can see below -:

I spoke with Ms Turner who has confirmed that she does not have (and has never had) a relationship of any nature with any officer or indeed anyone else in the employment of Northumbria Police. Having reviewed IOPC systems, I can find no information regarding Ms Turner having a relationship of any nature with any police force. Your allegation of corruption against Ms Turner is not supported by any evidence and, as a result, I can only reasonably conclude that it is not upheld. FAIR ENOUGH I SUPPOSE.

Ms Turner has explained that she reviewed your email and considered that there were a couple of questions which required a response: “do I have any further avenues for appeal or complaint against Northumbria Police for what I consider to be an unarguable case of institutional and individual incompetence, intimidation and corruption?” And: “how do I complain about you and the disgrace of a report than you have produced to maintain the appalling miscarriage of justice that has been visited on me?”

I am satisfied that she duly addressed those questions in her reply and that her response was reasonable. Of course, in replying to any correspondence there is always an exercise of discretion as to the extent to which it warrants or requires a response and the level of detail that should be provided. I have noted some further questions in your email which relate more specifically to you asking her to justify aspects of her decision.

She could have chosen to address those matters but instead decided that your disagreement with the decision and stated intention to complain would be best dealt with by providing you with the response she elected. I might have responded differently to your email but that does not mean that Ms Turner was wrong and it certainly does not, in my opinion, amount to a breach of the IOPC’s Code of Conduct. I am satisfied that Ms Turner exercised her discretion reasonably in this instance and on that basis I have also found this aspect of your complaint to be not upheld. FUCKING FRAUDS!!

However, it is clear to me that you remain dissatisfied in this regard. I would therefore suggest that the obvious way for you to get the clarity you seek would be to reply to Ms Turner’s email directly specifying what more you want from her by way of a response. As she was the decision-maker in respect of your review, she is best-placed to provide you with that clarity.

As Ms Turner explained to you, her decision is final in law and there is no further right of appeal against it. Should you remain dissatisfied with her decision, I can only suggest that you obtain independent legal advice with a view to seeking judicial review of the decision. BUDDY, SPARE ME A DIME

Whilst I appreciate that this response may come as a disappointment to you. I do hope that you will be able to appreciate that your complaint about the conduct of a member of IOPC staff has been given serious consideration and received a thorough response.

So, here’s the email I fired off to her (in bold), with her response (in italics). Frankly, it’s game over on this one, which is a disgrace as Doyle should be in the nick.

Dear Ms Turner,

I recently received feedback on my complaints about your disinclination to investigate why Northumbria Police are able to get away with such outrageous conduct towards me, from either or both Jonathan Francis and Lesley Hyland; the letter was unclear about this. While my complaint was, predictably, dismissed, I can read between the lines that you've sailed very close to the wind, as either Francis or Hyland has suggested you respond precisely to my questions, rather than just the airy fairy generalised, patronising dismissal of my concerns you sent last time. So, here goes. I've numbered them for you.

1.     I am somewhat bemused by your reference to “allegations” that I received 15 threatening emails from one of Doyle’s few close personal friends, who served time in prison for football hooliganism. These emails were a matter of indisputable truth; I forwarded all of them to Northumbria Police’s investigating officer Victoria Dawson, who passed them on to operational officers, with whom I discussed their content, deciding not to opt for the prosecution of the sender as I pity him rather than feel anger or any need for retribution. Similarly, you refer to the fact I “allege” Lowther didn’t contact me. There’s no disputing this point either; he did not contact me. Your suggestion that these two facts are matters of conjecture shows your own objectivity has been seriously compromised from the outset. I would ask if you were working, not independently as you claim, but for the exclusive benefit of Northumbria Police, in the completion of your evaluation of the treatment of my complaint.

I have used the word ‘allegation’ to describe a complaint or allegation. I did not intend to any other meaning.  No, I was not working for the exclusive benefit of Northumbria Police.

2. Why are you satisfied Doyle’s Twitter account was subject to adequate scrutiny when he was permitted to deactivate, and delete huge numbers of Tweets that contained abusive comments about me? I refer again to the description of me as being a “scruffy, fat, irritating keyboard warrior.” Is this a professional opinion, or a personal one, that you seem so keen to uphold? Of course, later you do go on to defend Doyle’s right to hold his own opinions, while purposefully invalidating my right to regard Doyle as a “swaggering bully.” What gives you the right to hold such contradictory opinions?

I believe I have provided a comprehensive response in the decision letter in respect of this point. To reiterate briefly, I am satisfied that CSA Soulsby had made relevant searches and enquiries on twitter in relation to the posts on the twitter account of PC Doyle, but that this search did not identify any posts or comments which referred specifically to you. This is a professional decision made in the capacity of my role within the IOPC, I do not have a personal opinion about the review I carried out.  I do not believe my opinion is contradictory as you suggest. 

3. Doyle lied to Hall by claiming that he had left Benfield FC in summer 2019. He had not. He left in summer 2020, which is why he was able to stir up hatred against me later that year, partly because I am a member of the Labour Party and was an active campaigner in the December 2019 General Election. Why was this egregious falsehood not investigated properly? We must remember, of course, that PC Doyle had vented his spleen at me in a vicious tirade after he discovered I had voted Remain in June 2016, which is why he was so happy to see me threatened by ultra-right wing known risk supporters from North Shields in December 2017. On reflection, the conduct of Hall in relation to Doyle’s lies about this situation is not “sloppy” as I previously described it. Rather, it is dangerously incompetent or wilfully corrupt. This is where a legal intervention is needed, rather than you absolving them of all responsibility. They need arresting for this. Incidentally, I realise discussion of your motives for your conduct may be beyond this current forum and something that needs to be looked at by another agency later.

Whatever form the professional reflection Hall undertook is of little consequence to me; I do not accept she shows any insight, much less contrition, into her unacceptable conduct. Clearly Doyle will have no insight of his behaviour, having been exonerated at every turn.

To conclude, I am more than unhappy with the response I have received from you, which has amounted to nothing more than granting carte blanche to the thugs and morons of Northumbria Police, while simultaneously denigrating my character and right to oppose the vicious conduct of the so-called upholders of law in the North East.

As I stated in my decision letter, I was satisfied that a proportionate investigation was carried out. PC Doyle provided the date he had resigned. Also, as stated in my decision letter, it is unfortunate that you were not contacted to provide further details of your complaint once you had made it and some learning has been identified from this. However, I do not agree with you that the investigation was not carried out properly.

What an incredible tissue of horseshit eh? So, that’s one complaint denied by an exhausted procedure, one complaint ignored by Northumbria’s finest and one final shot at justice for the incident on New Year’s Eve still to be resolved. As you’d imagine, I’ve gone to the IOPC with this one as well.

Despite initially presenting as fair and even handed, the investigating officer 7020 Seymour has proved, through her subsequent conduct, to be biased, corrupt and fraudulent in both her dealings with me and the investigation into 2242 Duffy, 8020 Oliver and 3902 Henderson. The fact that Duffy has not been dismissed, Oliver has not been issued with a final warning and Henderson not been required to undertake self-reflection about her conduct shows that Seymour is unfit for this role, unfit to serve in the police and guilty of malfeasance in a public office.

Looking at the decision letter, my first objection is to the assertion at the bottom of page one that I was barred from the Co-Op on Front Street in Tynemouth. This was not true, or at least it was not known to me that such a ban was in place, as I had been in the Co-Op exactly one week previous on Christmas Eve 2020 and had been served without a problem. It seems to me that this assertion was made by the duty manger to Oliver, who behaved in a flirtatious and unprofessional manager after arriving. At no point was I asked if I was barred. At no point was the duty manager’s assertion questioned by Oliver, Duffy or Seymour, who accepted the side of the duty manager without question. This shows blatant prejudice against me. Even worse, the veiled threat that Duffy and Oliver would have fitted me up for this incident shows they are dangerously biased when it comes to dealing with members of the public who do not display obeisance in their presence.

The following risible assertions by Seymour, from the conclusion, need unpicking: You are barred from the store (1); and were identified to police as being responsible for being abusive to staff within the store (2). Officers dealt with you based on this information only and not based on any discriminatory factor (3). As noted, the BWV shows no overbearing behaviour or discrimination by the officers (4).

1 – I now know I’m barred from the store, but I didn’t know then.

2 – I wasn’t in any way abusive to staff in the store; I left willingly after being cornered and harassed by 3 of them.

3 – The cloyingly flirtatious way Oliver spoke with the duty manager showed an unprofessional attitude and as a consequence what was relayed to him and how he responded should be discounted, other than to investigate the nature of the words exchanged and whether any other transaction took place.

4 – As explained previously, Seymour is wrong in her assertion that Duffy and Oliver spoke to me in an acceptable fashion. They didn’t; they were aggressive, domineering and intimidating.

Duffy and Oliver state they do not feel they discriminated against me, but acted fairly but sternly towards me. This is an unbelievable example of Seymour’s bias and inability to investigate properly. The way Duffy and Oliver spoke to me was aggressive, menacing and intimidating.  It is exactly why so many people hate the police. I don’t believe there is any evidence of Seymour listening to the BWV from the incident, as any reasonable person would have been shocked and appalled by the conduct of these officers. Unlike Seymour’s glib and arrogant dismissal of my protestations, any normal person would recognise the conduct of Duffy and Oliver as swaggering bullies, determined to intimidate a wholly innocent member of the public into silence. They should be disciplined for this and Seymour brought to book for this appalling miscarriage of justice akin to the sort of conduct that lead to the Birmingham 6 and Maguire 7 being fitted up by the British police state.

Also, I know for a fact that some officer in a van drove past North Shields police station, where I’d wasted an hour trying to speak to Henderson, and gave me a middle-fingered salute. I’d like to know who deleted the CCTV of this; my money would be on Seymour.

As regards allegation 2, Seymour’s attitude is to dismiss my complaint out of hand, in order to protect her pal’s back, just like she did with Duffy and Oliver. Perhaps the day wouldn’t have been so busy if thugs like Duffy and Oliver didn’t go out of their way to threaten and harass innocent civilians.

The fact I’ve had no word back from the IOPC shows that they and Northumbria Police, individually and as a whole, are corrupt and incompetent.

Mouth of the Tyne

 The last month of Tynemouth CC press reports; not much else to tell as I've not seen any other teams in action -:

May 16^th:

 

After the previous weekend’s total washout of all fixtures, Tynemouth CC managed to complete a full slate of games, with some notable successes with both bat and ball across all the teams.

The first XI hosted Washington and eased to an untroubled 61 run win. Captain Matt Brown won the toss and opted to bat. The loss of Ben McGee in the first over was only a minor irritant as it brought Mike Jones to the crease. Partnered initially by Ben Debnam, who was caught behind with the score on 45, the Durham man compiled a superb 106, before being stumped when seeking to increase the scoring rate. Jones was partnered by Muhammad Saad, who Washington would have caused to regret dropping first ball, as he contributed a pugnacious 40 and Brown with 29. When the skipper was out, the scored stood at 204/6, but David Mansfield (38*) and Andrew Smith (20*) combined to add 59 through a series of lusty, aggressive blows, fine running between the wickets and no little luck, to post an impressive 263.

When the Washington reply started, Smith was quickly back in the game, having Wilson well caught by Josh Koen. Similarly, Mansfield was also quickly involved, bowling Hooker in his first over. Dan McGee claimed the next two victims, having James Thompson contentiously given leg before and his brother Joe stumped. Saad’s involvement was even more decisive as, from his first ball, Mansfield pulled off a glorious diving catch to dismiss Scott. In his next officer the Pakistani bowled Nunn to leave Washington 102/6 and a quick resolution was expected. However, in glorious late afternoon sunshine, former Durham man Ash Thorpe and Thomas College each claimed unbeaten half centuries, putting on an entertaining, unbeaten partnership of exactly 100, to see Washington end on 202/6.

Sadly, Tynemouth 2s didn’t have such good fortune in the reverse fixture. The home side batted first and compiled 185/9, with James Carr claiming 4/32 and Sam Robson 2/28. Despite a solid 27 by opener Niall Piper and a fighting 33 by Tony Turner, they came up short, being dismissed for 171, with 6 overs left unused.

The third team travelled to Benwell and Walbottle, where they encountered a bowler’s wicket. Batting first, Tynemouth were dismissed for 136, with Rashid “The Power” Hassan top scoring with 35, supported by Richie Straughan with 28. Excellent bowling from skipper Richie Hay (4/6) and Dan Storey (3/8) meant Benwell and Walbottle never looked likely to reach the required total and subsided to 68, giving the 3s their third win of the season.

On Sunday, the Academy XI hosted South North, but lost by 8 wickets. A score of 78 was never enough to defend and the visitors reached the total in short order for the loss of only 2 wickets.

Finally, the Midweek Social XI continued their unbeaten start to the season when they defeated Percy Main 3s by 8 wickets. Having lost the toss, Tynemouth restricted the visitors to 73/5 from 16 overs, before reaching 77 with 3 overs to spare. Jack O’Keefe and Lewis Robson gave the former Bad Boys a solid start by taking the score to 30, before falling in successive balls. At this point Lee Reed (29*) and Jim Scoffham (16*) saw the team home without further mishap.

Next week, Tynemouth CC 1st XI begin their NEPL 20:20 campaign, hosting Benwell Hill on Friday 21st May, with a 6pm start. On Saturday, they travel to Burnopfield for the last of the current tranche of 50-over games, while the 2s welcome Gateshead Fell to Preston Avenue and the 3s host Riding Mill. The Academy have two games against their Blaydon counterparts; home on Wednesday evening in the Banks Cup and away on Sunday in a league game.

 May 23^rd:

Inclement weather once again hampered Tynemouth CC’s first team, when their NEPL game away to Burnopfield was washed out on Saturday morning, without a ball being bowled. This means that their slim chances of a top 4 place in the league and a consequent spot in the quarter finals of the Banks Salver knock-out competition were dashed. Coming on top of their opening T20 game at home to Benwell Hill falling victim to the weather on the Friday evening, this is proving to be a frustrating campaign, during what is set to be the wettest May on record. However, this means a theoretically crowded fixture card, if the rain ever ceases, with a home game against Backworth in the Northumberland Charity Bowl at 6pm on Wednesday 26th May, followed by a T20 contest away to Boldon on Friday 28th May, also at 6pm. On Saturday 29th, Tynemouth travel to Felling for the first of 11 consecutive 110 over win, lose, draw league games. The start is at the slightly earlier time of 11.00am at High Heworth Lane.

With the first team inactive, the spotlight fell on Tynemouth 2s who faced a redoubtable Gateshead Fell team. The visitors outplayed their hosts in every department and came away with a thoroughly merited 96 run win. The morning began badly for Tynemouth when skipper Andrew Davison sustained a broken wrist, after being struck by a ball from Neil Bennett during warm-up. Lifelong Sunderland fan Davo’s day would get immeasurably worse of course; poor fella.

Batting first, Gateshead Fell started rapidly, forcing Tynemouth to juggle their bowlers to the extent that Chris Beever was the fifth bowler used, in only the 16th over. It was an inspired choice as he took the wicket of Michael Dicks with his third ball. Tynemouth’s sixth bowler was Club Chairman Graeme Hallam, who had answered the club’s call and deputised for the stricken Davison. He too took a wicket in his first over and another soon after, to post admirable figures of 2-26 from his 10 overs. Hallam also distinguished himself with a catch off the bowling of Dan Thorburn, who took the final Gateshead Fell wicket to fall, ending with a more than respectable 2-32. Gateshead Fell’s impressive total was largely as a result of Michael Elliott’s unbeaten 86 and an exciting 53 by Malik Javed, ended prematurely by Sam Robson’s runout.

In reply, Tynemouth never seemed likely to chase down the total, with only Niall Piper’s dogged 52 displaying both aggressive intent and solid resistance, though it must be said that some excellent Fell bowling was augmented by some questionable leg before verdicts that went against the home side. The 2s have a chance to bounce back with an away fixture against Washington in the James Bell Cup on Tuesday night; 6pm start. Next Saturday Newcastle 2s are the visitors to Preston Avenue for a noon start.

Meanwhile, Tynemouth 3s sit proudly on top of the NTCL Division 5 South after a solid home win over Riding Mill. Batting first, the visitors were restricted to 144/8. While the wickets were shared around, mention should go to Ed Snelders and Captain Richy Hay for combining accuracy with brace of victims each. In reply, Tynemouth 3s knocked the runs off with plenty of overs to spare for the loss of 4 wickets. Rashid “The Power” Hassan contributed an explosive 26, but the real star was 13 year old Robbie Bowman’s unbeaten 67 that settled the contest definitively in Tynemouth’s favour. Next Saturday sees the return of former Tynemouth stalwart Don Catley, who is now appearing for Whitley Bay 2s. The game begins at 1.

Tynemouth’s Academy team are now known as the Sunday 3rd team and their new nomenclature saw a positive result, as they overcame Blaydon in the first round of the Banks Cup by 87 runs. Finally, the Midweek Social XI host Ponteland in a league game on Thursday 27th with a 6pm start.

May 30^th:

The Bank Holiday weekend began early for Tynemouth Cricket Club, with an away fixture for the first XI against Boldon in the NEPL T20 Group B on Friday evening. Having suffered a washout in the home encounter with Benwell Hill the week before, it was imperative that the visitors took maximum points from this game. Indeed, they did so, and the final victory margin of 29 runs does not do their supremacy justice, as a disappointing total of 15 wides sent down by Tynemouth bowlers made the final totals seem more competitive than they were in reality.

Batting first, Tynemouth accumulated 145/4, where Muhammad Saad top scored with a fluent 48, ably supported by Stuart Poynter’s pugnacious 31 and a studied 22 from Ben McGee, while a couple of trademark late lusty blows by David Mansfield helped make the total an imposing one. Aside from the problems with wides, the Tynemouth bowlers remained on top throughout the reply. The intention was to contain rather than attack, which was a successful strategy, though Sean Longstaff impressed the watching crowd with two early wickets, including a superb reflex caught and bowled. Boldon ended on 116/4 to give Tynemouth a comprehensive win.

Both Poynter and Longstaff played equally crucial roles in the Saturday trip to Felling, which was the first 110 over NEPL game of the season. High Heworth Lane was looking splendid in glorious sunshine when the home side won the toss and decided to bat. However, it was the visiting bowlers who thrived in the congenial conditions, with the pacey Longstaff claiming 4/33, a superbly accurate 3/14 by Saad and a consistent 3/34 from Dan McGee. Only Paul Leonard, with a gutsy 47, offered serious resistance, as the home side were dismissed for 131.

In reply, there was a slight wobble early on after the loss of Ben Debnam and Barry Stewart left Tynemouth at 15/2, but despite Ben McGee perishing for 18, Poynter’s ferocious, improvised 58 swung the game decidedly in Tynemouth’s favour. Poynter fell leg before to the wily left armer and renowned barista Anthony Trotter, while Saad was needlessly run out, but Skipper Matty Brown and the reliable Mansfield saw Tynemouth ease to a 5 wicket win with more than 16 overs to spare. The two sides meet again on Friday 4 June at Tynemouth in an NEPL T20 Group B fixture.

Meanwhile, the second team tenaciously held on for a losing draw against Newcastle 2s. Batting first, the visitors accumulated 190/7 from 53 overs. All 5 Tynemouth bowlers took wickets, but Chris Beever was the pick of the crop, returning figures of 3/32 from his 12 overs. The reply was hampered by regular dismissals, meaning the theoretical total was never seriously challenged. That said, the team showed great forbearance in batting through their 52 overs for 124/7. With the ball, veteran Keith Brown impressed with 3/29, while Tynemouth’s Chris Fairley held the innings together with a determined 65.

Tynemouth Saturday 3s consolidated their place at the top of NTCL Division 5 South with a crushing victory over Whitley Bay 2s. Having restricted the visitors to a meagre 74/5 from their 40 overs, courtesy of trademark economy by Ed Snelders who also claimed 2 wickets, Tynemouth took a mere 12 overs to accumulate the runs required, for the loss of one wicket. Rashid “The Power” Hassan top scored with an unbeaten 34, ably supported by Chris Grievson’s 26*. The Sunday 3rd team lost at home to a strong Newcastle side. Batting first Tynemouth made exactly 150, with Patrick Hallam holding the innings together with an impressive half century, ably supported by Dan Thorburn with 34. Despite the best efforts of the Tynemouth bowlers, who had the visitors in a measure of difficulty at 68/4, Alastair Poll’s unbeaten 89 saw the visitors home with an over to spare.

The Midweek Social XI maintained their unblemished winning streak, defeating Ponteland by 39 runs at Preston Avenue. Batting first, 13 year old opener Robbie Bowman scored an aggressive 58 that built the platform for an impressive total of 146/6 from 18 overs, with able support from Sean Longstaff (43*) and the bespectacled James Carr (24*).  Rashid “The Power” Hassan’s 3/11 immediately swung the game away from Ponteland, allowing Tynemouth skipper Dan Storey to ring the changes among the bowlers, with Ponteland finishing on 107/5.

The coming week sees a packed programme as rearranged cup games fill the evenings. The first XI host Morpeth on Tuesday 1 June in a Smithson Cup tie, Felling on Friday 4 June in an NEPL T20 Group B game, both at 6pm, before travelling to Washington on Saturday for a league game with an 11.00 start.  Tynemouth 2s host Washington in the reverse fixture on the same day with a noon start, before travelling to Lanchester CC for their NEPL 2nd XI T20 group stage competition with Willington the third team involved. Our games start at 1.30pm and 4.30pm respectively.  The Saturday 3s host Cramlington 2s in the Tom Barlow Cup on Thursday evening, before welcoming Cowgate 2s on Saturday.

June 6^th:

It has long been referred to as Flaming June and the first week of the month lived up to that name, with Tynemouth Cricket Club’s teams returning  6 victories from 7 games played in both league and cup.

Tynemouth CC’s First XI began a busy week for the club, with a comfortable home win against Morpeth on Tuesday night to advance to the quarter finals of the Bobby Smithson Cup. The visitors, who play in the top division of the Northumberland and Tyneside League, batted first and made 101/3 in their 20 overs. In reply, the home side were always in control of the chase, with club professional Muhammad Saad making an imperious 63 not out, as well as sharing a second wicket stand of 59 with Owen Gourley who struck the ball cleanly on his way to an undefeated 22.

On Friday night, there was a less positive outcome in the NEPL T20 group game against Felling, who took revenge for their comprehensive league defeat to Tynemouth the Saturday previous, by leaving Preston Avenue with the points after a 28 run victory. Batting first, the visitors struck an impressive 156/3, in which Hurst top scored with an unbeaten 68. Support was provided by Alastair Appleby, who hit a ferocious 65. Only David Mansfield impressed with the ball for the home side, posting a respectable 2/28 from his 4 overs.

In reply, Tynemouth never looked like reaching the target after Saad and skipper Matty Brown, who looked in sparkling form during his stylish 25, both holed out to Paul Leonard from the bowling of Anthony “The Barista” Trotter, whose 3/21 was the foundation on which Felling’s victory was based. Other than Ben McGee’s controlled 24, the other home batsmen failed to get to grips with the visiting attack, subsiding to 128 all out after 18.4 overs.

Saturday was another day and, despite initial worries about just how competitive Tynemouth’s total would be, a comprehensive victory was achieved away to Washington. Batting first, Tynemouth occupied the crease for the maximum permitted 58 overs, scoring 173/9. The keynote batting performances were by Ben Debnam (48) and Barry Stewart (44), whose fluent strokes and dogged accumulation held the Tynemouth contribution together. A nod of appreciation is also due to Sean Longstaff and the bespectacled James Carr, whose unbroken last wicket stand of 20 runs ensured all the overs were used up.

Longstaff was immediately back in the game, reducing Washington to 7/2, aided by excellent slip catches by Saad and Stuart Poynter, whose effort was particularly acrobatic. Saad and Andrew Smith shared the next 4 wickets, as Washington collapsed from 28/2 to 28/6, before Saad claimed the next 3 victims, to end with a particularly praiseworthy 5/15 from 11 overs. At this point, with Washington 9 down and 90 runs behind, tea was taken. After this seemingly superfluous interpolation, Smith returned to claim the final wicket, ending on 3/17 and giving Tynemouth a win by 89 runs.

Tynemouth 2s hosted their Washington counterparts, dismissing them for 102 in 35 overs. Ricky Handa was the hero, returning 6/19 from 10 overs, before Chris Fairley (45*) and Niall Piper (34) saw the 2s home by 9 wickets in only 22 overs. On the Sunday, the 2s travelled to Lanchester for the NEPL T20 2^nd XI group stage and imperiously claimed a place in the quarter finals after crushing wins over Willington, by 101 runs and the hosts, by 77 runs in the deciding game. Batting first on both occasions, Tynemouth posted 230 and 227 respectively, both for the loss of 7 wickets. In the first game Richie Straughan helped himself to a top score of 78, Niall Piper registered 34 and Sam Robson amassed a useful 30, which he then augmented with a fine 2/8, to share bowling honours with Richie Hay (2/19) and Graeme Hallam (2/28), as Willington were bowled out for 129.

Against Lanchester, Richie Straughan scored his third 50 in two days, for an aggregate weekend total of 224 runs, though his efforts on this occasion were eclipsed by a savage 70 by Rashid “The Power” Hassan. Making up for an uncharacteristic duck in the first game, The Power bludgeoned 6 maximums and 4 boundaries in his 34-ball innings. With such a mammoth total, victory was almost completely assured when the bespectacled James Carr returned an elegant 3/17 from his spell, ably assisted by Neil Bennett with 2/28, which helped restrict Lanchester to 150/8.

The Saturday 3^rd XI began their week on Thursday night, with a home tie against Cramlington 2nds in the first round of the Dr Tom Barlow Memorial Cup. A magnificent unbeaten century by Matty Walton was ably assisted by a trademark attacking 59 from Rashid “The Power” Hassan, in an intimidating 220/2 from 18 overs.  Cramlington never seriously threatened to make the required runs, partly because of an economical 2/15 by Dan Storey, which helped to restrict the visitors to 113/6. On Saturday, Cowgate 2s came to visit. Batting first, Tynemouth were indebted to Richie Straughan who top scored with 93 out of a total of 204/7 from 40 overs. In reply, Tynemouth 3s cemented their position at the top of NTCL Division 5 South by dismissing Cowgate 2s for 121. Evan Hull-Denholm was the pick of the bowlers with an inspiring 4/15.

Next week, Tynemouth 1s host Backworth on Tuesday in the Tyneside Charity Bowl, before travelling to Lanchester on Friday for a T20 group game, with Hetton Lyons making the trip to Preston Avenue for a league game on Saturday. On the same day, the 2s travel to Ashington 2s and the 3s make the trip to Lintz 2s. The Sunday 3s host Benwell Hill, having been inactive this week, while the Midweek Social XI are pitted against Seaton Burn on the back pitch in the Ian Appleby Cup on Tuesday, before visiting the same opponents in a league game on Thursday.

 

Stick Don't Twist

 2017/2018: 44 points; 10^th place

2018/2019: 45 points; 13^th place

2019/2020: 44 points; 13^th place

2020/2021: 45 points; 12^th place

 

What should it be then; #BruceOut or #StickWithSteve? With an average points’ haul of 44.5 and a median 12^th place finish, the whole skeleton of contention is whether we are looking at stability or stagnation? Should the man who can’t stop running off at the mouth about any perceived criticism on social media, yet remains strangely silent when quizzed about the squalid conditions his tenants are forced to endure in his slum properties in England’s second city, be allowed to continue in post? Like every question raised in relation to Newcastle United, there are no easy answers. All we can rightly infer from the 2 years since Benitez hauled his ample ass to China in search of a mammoth payday is that he is out of a job, Bruce is somehow still in one and that Newcastle United have a vastly improved squad. Also, Yoshinori Muto’s coming home, fresh from leading the line for Eibar to such good effect they secured la cuchara de madera / zurezko koilara with little opposition. And people whinge about Bruce signing Joelinton…

The last Newcastle United blog I penned came in the wake of the catastrophic and seemingly terminal 3-0 humiliation away to Brighton. Back then, it seemed only a matter of time before Fulham, who had just gone to Anfield and won, overtook Newcastle and landed a decisive blow in the relegation dogfight, consigning Bruce’s Front Foot Mags to life in the Championship, with the prospect of annual defeats at the hands of the People’s Club of Wearside. Putting the fate of Donald Stewart’s broken playthings to one side for the moment; it needs to be relentlessly pointed out that NUFC, in finishing above Burnley, Brighton, Southampton, Crystal Palace and Wolves, stayed up by a whopping 17 points and, in pure mathematical terms, the result that kept us up was the draw against Spurs in the very next game after the Brighton debacle. The table never lies and sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.

The Spurs game took place on Easter Sunday, which was the first time we’d seen Laura’s mam since Christmas. As a result, I obviously opted for a mammoth roast lamb Sunday lunch than the football, so I caught up on proceedings after family duties had been fulfilled. The one constant of the Newcastle revival that started that day was the outstanding contribution of Joe Willock and his late goal, scored just as the usual campaign of cynical denigration was gathering momentum on Twitter, is the precise moment safety was assured. However, at the time, I felt that Villa doing something for Newcastle for once, in shaking off their lethargy to cuff Fulham aside, not to mention Southampton’s comeback triumph over Burnley, were both highly important in the greater scheme of things, helping to maintain more of a buffer between us and the drop zone.  Man Utd’s defeat of Brighton made it an almost perfect day, though in retrospect, our poor finishing allowed a disintegrating Tottenham side, spoken of as potential champions back in November, off the hook. Mind it still took a last gasp win by a coasting Wolves outfit at Craven Cottage the following week to keep us out of the bottom 3, even if we had 2 games in hand.

Strange as it may seem, not all Geordie eyes were on events down the Hammersmith Road, as the seemingly dormant NUST came out of hibernation to launch the 1892 Pledge, aimed at eventually buying a share in the club, during the midweek. Now my position remains that Ashley is the modern equivalent of either Louis XVI or Czar Nikolai, while the vile, rapacious shower of despots from Saudi Arabia that seek to replace him, are The Reign of Terror crossed with Stalin’s purges, ready to make people pine for the halcyon days of Joe Kinnear and Derek Llambias. Sometime, eventually, a gang of venture capitalist bounty hunters who don’t defenestrate homosexuals or stone adulterous women to death will buy Newcastle United. I’d love the idea of fans being in on that deal, or indeed any deal, to act for the good of the club, rather than sitting on a sand dune showing off their watches or pretending they’ve got compromising photos of the Premier League in a seedy hotel with enough whores and whiskey to get questions asked in the House. While the 1892 Pledge stinks to high heaven of a TF covert operation, it’s a laudable idea, though somewhat less impressive than the Man Utd lot getting the Liverpool game called off. Indeed, until Cummings sang on the stand like the most vengeful canary that ever drew breath, I had wondered whether the Tories might take the 50 plus 1 German model on board, more in response to the failed ESL proposals than NUST’s suggestion. Now, all bets are off, as Realpolitik and a desperate struggle for power and influence in Parliament that dwarfs even the NUFC Podcast War, comes to the forefront of civic life.

Back in April, Newcastle were on the road to Burnley. We went in a goal down, having played poorly, but being denied a definite penalty when Sean was flattened. Never mind, ASM was there to win us the game with an unbelievable solo slalom that wasn’t bettered until Willock did it at Fulham on the final day. However, the doom mongers were still unimpressed; having been forced to row back on claims we’d not win until Sheff Utd, they then reckoned we’d lose the next 5 and West Brom, who somehow won a game, were now seen as being a threat to our survival of greater magnitude than Fulham, though it should be pointed out that Fulham (1 win and 5 losses in their 6 previous games) were promoted on social media as having more momentum than Newcastle (1 loss and 7 points in 6 games). Honestly, most NUFC fans are only happy when they’re moaning.

Same thing happened after the West Ham game. I didn’t see a second of it as I was at Tynemouth Cricket Club, but I was delighted to learn we’d completed a double over the Premier League’s most improved side, while the usual Twitter squad went on and on about squandering a 2-0 lead. It was a quintessential Bruce performance; rousing attacking intent and meek defensive capitulation, with the happy ending of a get out of jail winner after a prolonged week of games because of Cup ties, which saw all of our rivals, get beat. Nice luck if you can find it eh Steve? Indeed, bringing Sean off for Willock was a good move in that it enabled him to get to TCC by 4.00 to see us beat Felling.

The week after saw the trip to a suddenly less than impregnable Anfield where the VAR nonsense that disallowed Wilson’s goal should not be allowed to gloss over the second half performance that had the deposed Champs out on their feet. Of course, if Wilson had scored then Willock wouldn’t have, so we didn’t have victory denied us, but we did deserve 3 points for our pluck. All in all, 4 games unbeaten and a 9 point cushion over the bottom 3 showed that things were going nicely. However, with a Willockless side against Arsenal, we turned in another sluggish, half-hearted performance and deservedly lost, to the utter delight of the Anti-Bruce mob. The widespread social media blackout by sporting institutions, commentators and journalists was almost uniformly respected, except by NUFC Twitterati who continued to play out a cyber bear baiting contest; a plague on both their houses, whether they be in Dubai or Dudley. Indeed, the only positive football news of that whole weekend was Hebburn 3 Consett 2 in last year’s Vase. I’d wanted Consett to win, for all the ex-Benfield lads in their ranks and for their boss Terry Mitchell, but it wasn’t to be.

Mind if you thought Hebburn’s progress from Northern League obscurity to Wembley winners was a fairy-tale, what about Newcastle at Leicester? This was even better than the semi-mythical destruction of Bournemouth last year. Of course, Bournemouth went down and Leicester won the FA Cup, which is an important difference, but it was good to see Newcastle emulating Sheffield United (Man Utd), West Brom (Chelsea), Fulham (Liverpool), Burnley (Arsenal and Liverpool) and Brighton (Liverpool) in pulling off a storming win away to one of the division’s heavyweights, playing brilliant football from start to finish. Obviously, the Twitter knives still came out after Leicester’s consolations, but what do you expect? It was nice to have such a convincing win and see West Brom and Fulham bite the dust as well. Next year I’d expect Watford, Palace and whoever wins the play-offs to go down. Then again Wolves haven’t exactly covered themselves in glory and if Bielsa leaves Leeds, they’ll be headless chickens.

 

The Man City game was absolutely mental. Despite falling over so often I wondered if he had an inner ear infection, this may have been Joelinton’s coming of age party. What a penalty! But why didn’t he take 2? The whole evening was more of an end of term party than an end of season game. Nice to see Scott Carson back on Tyneside, conceding 3 as ever; even nicer to see Bruce win the Manager of the Month award, with its attendant curse of inevitable defeat. It may have been a bit of a circus, but the last two games against Sheff Utd and Fulham were far more important; we harvested 6 points, moved convincingly up the table, kept clean sheets, played in second gear and held the opposition at arm’s length throughout. Not only that, we displayed a great team spirit, which was something I’d worried about in terms of the crowd for the Blades game.

When it was announced that the 10,000 tickets would be issued by ballot, I sincerely hoped that the moaning, whining complainers from Twitter wouldn’t apply, as I didn’t want us to be shown up by some wankers in Saudi headdresses waving handmade, We love Rafa placards. In the end, it seemed as if any booing came from a tiny minority and was restricted to full time, so the shame of the North East Trophy went to the Mackems who were getting battered all over by Lincoln in the play-offs.

To stick with them for a moment, I obviously didn’t see the second leg, but the memory of Burge handing the Imps their second goal at Sincil Bank will stay with me forever. Now, as they face THEIR 4^TH SEASON IN THE OLD THIRD DIVISION, it is time for them to show some humility. Despite the manner in which many Newcastle fans behave, there is only one club considered the laughing stock of the region. At least they’ll get to defend the Papa John Trophy next season, I guess. On a similar culinary matter, I am a subscriber to the official SAFC emails, as I like something to cheer me up each week. Sadly, this week’s offering had me almost in tears. No showreel for potential suitors of Remi Matthews or solemn farewell to Grant Leadbitter, just an advert to dine at the newly refurbished Riverview Brasserie at SoS. Alas, this is no emporium for haute cuisine, offering delights such as pommes frites au fromage avec boissons gazeuses bleues but the equivalent of a British Homes Stores style lunch counter, offering the kind of banal, retro home cooking that your average Hendon Heston Blumenthal or Pennywell Marco Pierre White will think of as being geet posh. It isn’t; it’s Brexit on toast for those who ate special school dinners with their hands. Of course, decent food won’t keep your team up; witness Kilmarnock, home of the celebrated Killie Pie, dropping to the Scottish Championship.

 

So, to Fulham and another easy win. Looking at the 7 loan players playing at quarter pace for the home side, thoughts we could finish below them were deemed ever more risible as the game went on. A sense of pride at what we’d achieved swept over me; Villa did well and so did Leicester, but Everton, Spurs, Wolves and Brighton had shamefully underachieved, though we didn’t. We did alright you know. If you delete the Brentford League Cup game, the two Brighton debacles and Sheffield United away, we matched our reasonable ambitions. Full time and it was time to say goodbye and great thanks to Joe Willock. Less applause for the likes of Andy Carroll, Atsu, Saivet and possibly Murphy, who all depart, relatively unmourned. Biggest disappointment of the season has been Lewis, but he’s of limited resale value. We’d be better flogging Almiron who was toss 95% of the time and if anyone can explain what Gayle did to deserve another 3 years, then please tell me….

And so we move on to 2021/2022 with renewed optimism, secure in the knowledge that we have further bouts of internecine podcast warfare, on-line griping, the treading of the stagnant, pelagic football zone and reviews of gaudy watches by vulgar ex-pats to look forward to. Stick with Steve, as it’s the safe option. I’m hoping we can make it into the Top 10.