Thursday, 30 November 2023

RIP Shane MacGowan

Sad solemn notes and crates of newly drawn stout.

The usual symptoms when a life goes out,

but the extinction this time being seven times the most.

The music held no echo, and the tears drowned our toast.

Sorrow and bereavement, life has no meaning now: silence is master.

Laughter and song bowed, for gone went our great captain to some more hospitable inn

where cant and hypocrisy can no longer embarrass him.

This hurts more than the loss of both Mark E Smith and Lou Reed. I can't adequately express my grief at his passing, nor my gratitude for giving the diaspora a voice. He was our poet laureate and I would never have become a writer if it were not for the inspiration his lyrics provoked and the permission his existence provided, especially in  such songs as The Old Main Drag, Streams of Whiskey, Broad Majestic Shannon or Birmingham Six.

Ar dheis Dé go raibh a anam


Tuesday, 21 November 2023

4-3-3

 Four Longstaffs. Three Percy Main legends. The Three Sails. All at North Shields Athletic...

This rain is getting beyond a joke now. Percy Main managed to play 8 games in August, which is more than they’ve completed in the subsequent three months put together. At the time of writing, the Villagers have endured 7 blank Saturdays since mid-September, though admittedly one of those was because of the whole team attending a wedding and another on account of the away game at Alnwick being pulled back to the Friday night. Therefore, we’ve had 5 idle, wet Saturdays that have required me to find alternative fun. As well as trips to West Allotment Celtic, Whitley Bay and York City that task has included sampling some 4G Alliance fare at Wallsend Boys Club and, twice now, at North Shields Athletic’s base at John Spence School.

The first time I dropped in on NSA, their Reserves were hosting Wideopen Reserves on the last Saturday in October. An unannounced 2.15 kick off caught out several potential attendees, who arrived during the first quarter of an hour, uniformly announcing their surprise at the game being underway and comprising a more than decent turnout for this level of football. In addition, a kids’ Halloween Party saw approximately 150 bairns in various ghoulish outfits running about the place, but only one in a full Newcastle away kit. Star spotters would have been intrigued to learn that the young tyro lacing the ball about was young Freddy Longstaff, who was showing a burgeoning talent that shows where his genes come from. Lovely to see dad Davey for the first time since the end of the cricket season, savouring the tasty Belgian wine in The Three Sails. As for the game, NSAR overcame the Wideopen side by a less than flattering margin of 4-2. While I really enjoyed the comfort of a seat at The Boysa, the presence of hot coffee and cold beer on sale at The Three Sails means trips to John Spence are always a great option when Percy Main are out of action, especially as I can cycle there in 10 minutes and back (uphill) in quarter of an hour.

So, having seen the Main two weeks in a row, Friday night’s downpour put paid to any chance of our Challenge Cup quarter final against Burradon & New Fordley going ahead on their spongy surface. Sure enough, a text from Norman before 9.00 confirmed what we all feared. Indeed, every game on grass in the Alliance and Northern League went the same way, which left me with about a dozen games to choose from. Thankfully, I didn’t take a trip to Coach Lane, where our Premier Division rivals Newcastle Independent and Chemfica played a goalless draw. Division 1’s fixture list was utterly blank; Hexham having lost 5-1 at home to Wideopen on the Friday night. In Division 2, Newcastle City lost 5-3 at their latest 4G home of Kenton School to Benton and Hazlerigg squeezed past Chemfica Amateurs by the narrow margin of 11-1 on the 4G at Bullocksteads. I suppose I ought really to have taken in that game, partly because we’ve got Chemfica Amateurs this week and partly because Hezzy shelled out £192 to play this fixture. In Division 3, Blyth Rangers booked Benfield School’s 4G for their tie with Whitley Bay Sporting Club A and I bet they wish they hadn’t bothered, as a 2-0 half time lead ended up as a 3-2 loss. Over the hedge, The Boysa’s U23s drew 2-2 with Wideopen Reserves.

As well as league fixtures, there were cup ties as well. In the Challenge Cup, Wallington blitzed Stobswood 8-3 at the same place we lost 5-1 a few weeks ago, which in the Neville Cowey Cup, I was aware of Great Park hosting Whickham Under 23s at Druid Park, but discounted it because of public transport difficulties, missing out on a 2-0 home win. Instead, it was John Spence for me and the Neville Cowey Cup tie between NSAR and Heddon United, a team who have lost every time I’ve seen them. Sorry lads!

Arriving at 1.15, I was surprised to find the game already underway, with Heddon twice going incredibly close to scoring from a corner in the first 15 seconds I saw, and Shields Athletic Reserves already 2-0 ahead. It was only then I checked Twitter to learn that kick off had been advertised as 1.00, which I’d missed. There was some good news though; the afternoon would be a double header as Shields Athletic first team were hosting Benfield Reserves, who’d surrendered home advantage as Sam Smith’s is underwater, in the Combination Cup at 3.15. You’ve probably no idea how happy that news made this saddo.

The score remained 2-0 at half time, by which time the Benfield Reserves side were showing up. Captained by Percy Main legend Dean Ellis, it was great to catch up with the midfield dynamo, who is enjoying the challenge of his first managerial role, especially as he is combining it with a playing role. I know we’re all growing older, but the news that Dean is no longer 19, but turns 34 next birthday, stunned me to the core. I was equally dumbfounded to learn that another Percy legend, the indomitable Graeme Cole, has connections to the Benfield squad, as his little bairn Ethan, now a strapping centre half, is one of their players. Sadly Ethan was injured, but it was great to see Cola, now bespectacled and clean shaven, looking not a day older than in his prime.

On the pitch, the main entertainment was proved by the referee losing both the plot and the pea from his whistle. Once he’d had the sin bin rule explained to him in words of one syllable, NSAR went 3-0 up after the Heddon keeper parried but failed to gather a free kick, and a Shields player ran in to tap the ball home. A fine flowing move saw the home side complete the scoring late on and I grabbed a coffee in The Three Sails, in the company of former workmate Jim Scoffham (son of the legendary Keith) and fellow TCC 3rd team cricketer Lee Reed. They were on Stella, of course.


I made my way outside for the second game, which was a Combination Cup tie and, being contested by sides two leagues higher than the previous game, was markedly faster, more competitive and better to watch. Benfield controversially had a goal disallowed, not for offside (which it clearly wasn’t), but for a foul on the keeper, which I couldn’t comment on. Straight from the restart, NSA swept downfield and won a clear penalty when the keeper wiped out the attacker. However, he put this behind him and made a great parry to his left from the resultant spot kick.

 Soon after, I made the mistake of looking away for 5 seconds and missing the last man foul that turned the game. Shields were reduced to 10 and Tony Woods fired the free kick into the top corner. After this Exocet, he doubled Benfield’s lead soon after with a low free kick into the bottom corner. If I’m reding the Alliance website correctly, he left Benfield for Shields Athletic the day after this game. Some way to sign off…

I spent the second half in the company of another Percy Main legend; Brian Smith, having recently left Newcastle Blue Star, was taking in this game, as were another couple of decent footballers. Not only were Freddy and Davey Longstaff watching the game, but Matty and Sean as well, the latter in a protective boot, suggesting Newcastle’s injury problems may not be over just yet. While the game rather petered out into a 2-0 win for Benfield, it was another great afternoon in superb company, where nobody felt the cold because of the quality of the conversation. This is a fine, fine place to watch grassroots football. Almost as good as Percy Main, but not quite.


Thursday, 16 November 2023

Manpower Shortage

My latest NUFC musings...


I’m writing this on Thursday evening, when I’d intended to sort it first thing on Monday and have it up by lunchtime. As it’s another Newcastle United bulletin at the start of an international break, it should have written itself, but those last two defeats away to Dortmund and then Bournemouth have really knocked the wind out of my sails. Despite the period covered by this missive including those magnificent wins away to Man United and home to Arsenal, I’m struggling to find the necessary motivation to write it all down. I mean the recent pair of losses were crap, but not on the scale of those we endured during the Broooth era, where defeats still provoked intemperate rage that needed to be aired in public. To me, it has been like the worst bits of the Pards administration, where defeat was always likely, but there was always a scintilla of hope in there, on account of the quality of players we had in our side. Sorry, but the Bournemouth loss was a defeat too far; instead of expecting a win, the minute I saw we were travelling without a recognised striker, I had a hunch we’d lose 2-0. And we did, but more of that later. Let’s go back to the beginning.

Palace (H). If the previous set of games had featured the most routine of home wins over Burnley on the last day of September, then this tranche of fixtures saw us hand out as simple a stuffing as we’d seen in years. I was thinking of 3-0 versus Stoke in April 2013 or the same score against Swansea a couple of years later. Large, untroubled home wins; the difference with this one against the Glaziers being it was a joyous return to competitive football after the pressure valve of incessant Premier League pomposity had been released by the previous international break. In October, the cessation of hostilities was warmly welcomed for a bit of breathing space. In November, the gap has been clung onto like a drowning sailor with a piece of driftwood. It may only offer an illusory hope, but that’s got to be better than what reality has to offer at the current time.

The news about Tonali’s gambling indiscretions broke in the run-up to this game. I suppose, if nothing else, it explains his permanently dour demeanour, though he could just be a miserable sod. I mean, did you ever see Paul Bracewell crack a smile? To make a more appropriate comparison, Glynn Hodges and Gary Megson didn’t have the same amount of emotional baggage when they comprehensively failed to make any kind of positive impact on our midfield. However, at least his looming ban, since confirmed as extending until the start of next season, and the continued absence of Botman had zero influence on a game we strolled to victory in, after coming in at the break 3-0 up, without breaking sweat.

After this, things got a bit more taxing. Dortmund, both at our place and in the subsequent away game, proved to be a far tougher proposition for us to contain than either Milan or PSG. Unlike the pedestrian percentages football at the San Siro and the complacent arrogance of the French side, Dortmund were exactly what I’d expected; a high-pressing, energetic side, with impeccable fitness, as well as the anticipation and experience in Europe to see us off. While we recovered from a poor start to take the game to them, the goal was a gut punch. Fair play to us though, as the second half was ours, including a splendid cameo from Tonali in probably his most effective 20 minutes since he’d signed. Unfortunately, we had no luck whatsoever; Isak going off injured left us hideously weak up top. Wilson, when fit or prepared to play (these are not necessarily the same things), is a peerless English target man of the old school, but he doesn’t create chances in the way Isak, who is a very top class European style number 9, does for himself and for others. Twice hitting the bar was bad luck, but some nights it just doesn’t happen for you. In some ways, this reminded me of Feyenoord (H) in the 2002 Champions League, with the two Dortmund games forcing me to recall the two clashes with PSV Eindhoven in the same competition during our debut campaign in 1997. We lost all of those contests to teams a bit more cute than we were.

The extent of our injuries was made clear by the bench at Wolves, which saw the debut of Howe’s half dozen full backs; a tactic born out of necessity, rather than innovation. This is possibly the only time I’d like us to have brought in Neves on loan, just for the hysterical fume it would have created. Sadly the Premier League top brass are putting a stop to non-stories like this by banning loan deals that would benefit Newcastle United, much to the satisfaction of rival clubs who have benefited from such shady loopholes for decades. Frank Lampard to Man City anyone? No matter: the high horsemen of the football apocalypse were in their element after the penalty we got for the potentially career-ending hack on Schar. Viva VAR: that’s what I say. Ignoring the fact Pope was a little shaky on both goals, you’ve got to say that Livramento, especially and Hall, gradually need more time in the team.

They both got it as well; away to Man Utd in the Carabao Cup and then home to Arsenal, as we achieved a scarcely credible pair of results back to back. The starting XI at Old Trafford, same as against City in the round before, looked like a shadow squad, rather the only available team members who were fit enough to lace up their boots and shamble down the tunnel at Dean Court. Despite the telly still buffering by the time Targett had gone off, what we saw was an incredible performance against a desperate Man United. I was particularly delighted to note that Sean’s time as skipper was slightly more successful than my experience of holding high office against Leadgate 2s in the summer, though I would contend Sean was dealt a stronger hand than I was.

Somewhat typically, our reward for destroying the holders on their home pitch was an away tie against Chelsea in the week leading up to Christmas. Fate can be a cruel mistress, especially in the knock-out tournaments. However, we had the Arsenal game to worry about before then. Now, let’s be clear about this; long before Orgreave-born, ex South Yorkshire copper Howard Webb went on telly to confirm that everything about Gordon’s winning goal was above board and clearly legal, every single person who watched that game, including the most jaundiced of Gooners, saw through Arteta’s teenage tantrum. He cried his eyes out in public to deflect from the fact his team deserved nothing from the game. They were comprehensively outplayed, outthought and outfought by a heroic squad performance. After spending the opening hour theatrically throwing themselves to the floor and dishing out snide ankle taps on our lads, they simply could not up the ante once they’d fallen behind and we deservedly closed out that game with one of the scruffiest, but funniest, goals we’ll see all season.

Of course, this goal was as good as it got. We haven’t hit the net in the two games since, as well as seeing our injury list expand: Almiron, Anderson, Barnes, Botman, Isak, Manquillo (apparently), Murphy, Targett and Wilson are all injured, while Guimaraes and Tonali were suspended. Possibly the only good thing about the Bournemouth game was my fire stick not working, which meant we went old school with Radio 5 commentary, suffering the ramblings of Glenn Murray, who sounds as if he’s paying homage to some of Mark E Smith’s most arcane lyrics when making one of his summary contributions, but at least I didn’t see the devastation in real time. When Chelsea, more than bit part players in two incredible, recent Premier League games against Spurs and then Man City, visit on Saturday 25 November, the only definite returnees are Almiron, Guimaraes and Isak. With Schar suffering a muscle tweak while away with Switzerland, things look bleak. After the Chelsea game, we’ve got PSG (A 28/11), Man United (H, 2/12), Everton (A 7/12), Spurs (A 10/12), Milan (H 13/12), Fulham (H 16/12), Chelsea (A 19/12), Luton (A 23/12) and Forest (H 25/12); those are 10 tough and devilishly important games that will go a long way to both defining our season and shaping our foray into the January window. A striker and a midfielder are the very least that we need.

Cards on the table; if we lose to PSG, I think we’ll lose to Milan and drop out of Europe. If we need to, I believe we’ll beat Milan and qualify for even more money. I wouldn’t be disappointed if the first scenario came about to be honest, especially if we beat Chelsea in the Carabao Cup and finish top 5 in May. The trouble is, things are in such a state of flux with the volume of both games and injuries, it is difficult to make accurate predictions. All I know is that I trust Eddy Howe implicitly and know that whatever he does, it will only be for the betterment of Newcastle United.



Monday, 6 November 2023

He Fills His Head With

 Culture....


Music:

It’s been an age since I last culturally blogged; June 25th to be precise. Obviously, I didn’t intend to leave it so long, but things happened, and other stuff got in the way, meaning I needed to write about different subjects at different times than I’d intended to, but here we are at last. This means that certain experiences have become hazy in my mind and, in a few instances, I’m seeing the recent past through a glass darkly. You know, I really should ensure I take my notebook with me everywhere I go. This is certainly the case with gigs, as I can’t remember anything pertinent relating to The Proclaimers at the Mouth of the Tyne Festival back in early July at Tynemouth Priory.  I do know that it cost £37 to get in and, astonishingly, it was still sold out. I do know that the following nights saw Beverley Knight and then the unspeakable Paul Heaton as the headline acts, so we gave those a swerve. I do remember Shelley and I walking down Front Street on a chilly Thursday evening, feeling like a by-election candidate, shaking hands with numerous friends and acquaintances, some of whom I’d not seen in years, while others I’d been in contact with only days before, as I ran into them.

 

Roddy Woomble supported, but I think he’d finished his set by the time we were in position, with a big bag of cans, outside the back of The Gibraltar Rock. Not only because they are Hibbees, though that does help, I’ve always had a very strong affection for The Proclaimers since I first heard Letter from America and Throw the R Away on The Tube in early 1987, followed almost immediately by their Janice Long session containing the same songs. Indeed, in 1987, I must have seen them 5 times; including getting royally smashed backstage at The Duchess in Leeds in November of that year. Of course, the initial splendour of their acoustic work wasn’t maintained once they’d picked up a band and turned overly commercial, but I’ve always held a kind of candle for them. It was great to hear all the old hits tonight, especially the Hibernian FC anthem Sunshine on Leith. Sadly, we didn’t really see them, but the sound was good, and it was an enjoyable evening. Especially for nowt.

I think my next gig was about a month later, on Thursday 3rd August, when I took my pal Flanners to see the very wonderful Shunyata Improvisation Group away from their 2023 adopted home of The Globe, at the Brinkburn Street Brewery. Augmented by the peripatetic polymath John Pope on double bass, this was a superb set by the region’s foremost free improvisational acoustic ensemble, despite it seeming at one point that they were doing a cover version of Bela Lugosi’s Dead, much to the subsequent post-performance embarrassment of the performers. It was also an incredibly comfortable gig, as the whole room was full of comfy armchairs and overstuffed sofas; ideal for relaxing over a few bevvies, while your mind drew circles in the sky. Shunyata Improvisation Group are one of the greatest musical discoveries I’ve made over the last decade. If you haven’t seen them yet, please try and do so as a matter of urgency.

Of equal importance to my discovery of Shunyata Improvisation Group has been my discovery of TQ magazine, and especially the live events curated by its founder, Andy Wood, though I have to say how much I enjoyed the Feelin’ mini-CD that came with double issue #62/63. It’s a lovely, chaotic experience of random instrumentation and found sounds. However, let’s get back to the live experiences; having called the Lit & Phil home for the last year and a half, times and circumstances have changed, meaning that The Globe is the new base for TQ live events, with the first one taking place on Friday 18th August. It featured a typically eclectic line-up, with Namke Communications, Peonys and Pettaluck treading the boards this time.

Arriving at a venue that appears to be The Broken Doll rebuilt from what was left in the skips when they tore that dive down, I was dismayed to hear a truly terrible, sludgy ska punk teenage troupe shouting their dreadful wares to very few onlookers. Pausing only to reflect on the veracity of the lyrics to Losing My Edge by LCD Sound System, I ascended the stairs, suffering badly from OCD, and into the latest No Audience Underground happening. As ever, the beautiful people from the Tyneside experimental music scene were conspicuous by their absence, meaning only those who were there for the music and not to be seen in all the cool places, were present for a proper treat of an evening.

First up were Namke Communications from York, which involved half an hour of a diffident middle-aged bloke in specs messing about on an iPad and twiddling few knobs of his pre amp. It was canny, and certainly a billion times better than the tripe on downstairs. A slow, doomy vibe was overlayed with unidentifiable snatches of speech that made the whole thing eerie and intriguing. The only problem was the lack of visual stimulus associated with a solo performer, farting about with some gadgets. The experience is great if you get into the zone, but otherwise things can get a bit dull with nothing to gaze upon. I was lucky to be able to look at trees at the start of Scotchy Road distantly swaying in the breeze through the picture window. More aesthetically pleasing that the Arena’s unchanging roof through the other window.


As regards aesthetics, Peonys have them by the bucketload. Rumours that TQ are part of the movement to destroy guitars are totally unfounded; not only is there the Reynols exhibition starting later in November to look forward to, as well as the utterly fabulous Reynols Live in Mechelen mini CD that came free with issue #64,  but the debut performance by a scintillating guitar and drums combo who provided loud psychedelic prog of the very finest 67-71 vintage rebottled and remodelled for these times, blew everyone in the room away. Peonys reminded me of Cream, which was fitting as Geoff Firminster’s strange brew was red wine for a change. Sean Urquart said they were like Gallon Drunk meets the Pink Fairies and I couldn’t disagree. Telepathic, tearjerking musical demolition work. Absolutely fucking wonderful. They played a second gig on Friday 20th October at Bobik’s but I couldn’t get there because of a family birthday. I really advise you to look out for them.

Top of the bill was Southend’s Emma Reed, who plays as Pettaluck. Despite the awful racket from downstairs crawling up through the floorboards, I was immensely impressed by her charmingly idiosyncratic set that recalled everyone from Lol Coxhill to Ivor Cutler to Essential Logic. Predominantly a flautist, she was also a body percussionist and singer, with looped sounds and interesting percussion, some of it played by Andy Wood. It’s great to see TQ evenings moving away from a steady diet of synth navel gazers, especially as Emma fought so hard to overcome technical issues that blighted much of her set. I loved Snake Oil about long COVID, which reminded me of Lene Lovich and was delighted to swap products with her at the end of the evening and cannot recommend her cassette Pass highly enough. Get it from her Bandcamp page. She even played Abattage from Bartholomew  cusack’s Dresden Heist CD on her radio show, so giving Pettaluck some positive words on here is the least I can do.

I reviewed Pettaluck’s Pass tape on this site in the blog http://payaso-de-mierda.blogspot.com/2023/10/57-varieties.html where I also mentioned the Meredith demo tape from 1992. Phil Tyler saw this and, graciously, dropped off a copy of Blindspot, a compilation CD of Meredith’s complete demo tapes that came out in 2019. Meredith, featuring Phil Tyler on guitar, came to my attention in the very early part of 1992. Indeed, I recall them visiting my house in Spital Tongues on Sunday 8 March of that year so I could interview them. I presume it is around then that I came into possession of their tape. It’s got 4 tracks listed on it, though there are actually 5 songs performed. The two particular highlights were the opening Falls and the closing Footsore Four, which both showcase the excellent musicianship, especially Phil’s guitar, and Kay’s remarkable voice. I loved their frigid, glacial indie sensibilities that reminded me of Edinburgh’s The Flowers. I’ve no idea what they did after this, though I obviously know what Phil is up to.

Another excellent artistic organisation I must give a shout-out to is Wormhole World. Purveyors of a magnificent array of experimental music on CD, they often host clearance sales and that is how I came across the cheerfully monikered ensemble Sound Effects of Death and Horror and their rather impressive paean to aged portable telephones, Mota Rolla. Analogue synths are staging quite a comeback and these lot know how to wield them. They describe themselves as producing “ambient, electronic, darkwave and experimental music influenced by The Radiophonic Workshop, Tangerine Dream, Kraftwerk and John Carpenter,” which is a far better way of putting it than I could ever come up with.

While I’ve a lot of time for analogue virtuosos like Sound Effects of Death and Horror and the superb TSR2, I must admit to feeling left cold by the trendy sounds of Warrington Runcorn Newtown Development Plan. Having shelled out for their Moonbuilding CD from the zine of the same name, I was utterly underwhelmed by what seemed to be a reanimation of Vangelis or, more closely, Jean Michelle Jarre. It is staid, plodding and lacking any desire to explore the more experimental side of electronic music. Frankly it’s more Robert Miles than Robert Rental, so I gave them a swerve when they played The Cumberland on Friday 15th September. However, this was also because Shelley and I had tickets to see I, Daniel Blake at Northern Stage on the same night. Like the film, the stage version is incredibly upsetting. The stressful inevitability of Daniel’s death as he tries to do good, while fighting against the monolithic benefits system would bring a tear to a glass eye. Thankfully, COVID and the ensuing lockdown put paid to so much of the fascist inflexibility we saw in this play. Of course, the events portrayed serve as a reminder as to the sheer evil of the state apparatus and what it is capable of.

It was certainly a more focussed and credible version of the text than the strange production of Macbeth we got to see at Northern Stage on Thursday 5th October. Set in a modern penthouse flat, with Scottishness hinted at with cans of Tennents and a female Malcolm singing a barely comprehensible version of Yes Sir, I Can Boogie, this production featured some nice actors we met in the pub afterwards and some decidedly odd directorial choices that I didn’t agree with. Still, for a fiver, you can’t complain too much I suppose.


Rewind two days from our first visit to Northern Stage to find Ben, standing in for the unwell Shelley, and I was watching The Bevis Frond at The Cumberland. Despite Nick Saloman fronting the band since 1986, I’d never seen The Bevis Frond and had only ever heard one song by them; the heart-breaking He’d be a Diamond that Teenage Fanclub covered so lovingly. I was so pleased to see them finally; proper prog rock wig-outs alongside psychedelic 60s pop anthems, with every song extended to the longest possible degree. They played about 8 songs in almost 2 hours, which shows what they’re about. I was very pleased they did He’d be a Diamond as well. I was so impressed I treated myself to their What did for the Dinosaurs CD, for a bargain fiver. Here we get 9 songs in 72 minutes, showing these lads like to give value for money. I really want to know more about this band. Apparently, there’s a new album slated for 2024, so I’ll be having some of that.

Talking of Teenage Fanclub, their marvellous new album Nothing Lasts Forever came out in September. As the title might indicate there is a sense of taking stock and perhaps that is not surprising as it is over thirty years since the band formed. Rather like catching up with an old friend, listening to Nothing Lasts Forever has the comfort of familiarity. Those jangling guitars, melodies with catchy hooks and harmonies are still all there. But as summer turns into autumn so those Teenage Fanclub hallmarks sound richer, bathed in a deeper, russet light. With that changing of the season comes a hint of melancholy too but not in a despairing way, more a sense of acceptance, of moving on. Nothing Lasts Forever is a deeply satisfying listen.

Teenage Fanclub’s writing remains firmly in the hands of founders Norman Blake and Raymond McGinley. As honest as in their song writing neither leaves any doubt as to where they are now and what they write about.  As well as where they are personally, where the band made the album is deeply imprinted on Nothing Lasts Forever. Though Teenage Fanclub did the vocals at home in Glasgow, they accepted an offer to record everything else at Rockfield Studios. The only catch was they had only ten days and the deadline stimulated a lot of new ideas.

Foreign Land opens the album in the finest Teenage Fanclub style. A single note wrung through with feedback sounds very familiar but the acoustic riff that emerges blending into a swirl of harmony brings those youthful sounds right up to date. If reflectively mellow, there is also a determination to move on. Tired Of Being Alone adds some echoing folk to the mix: “Come with me, watch the seasons go/Summer nights with the sky aglow”. A slightly fuzzy electric guitar solo blows through bucolic harmonies and acoustic breezes. Already that notion of togetherness makes itself felt as drummer Francis Macdonald, bassist Dave McGowan and Euros Childs on keyboards become as one with the guitars and vocals of Blake and McGinley.

The theme of light is a recurring feature. I Left A Light On sombrely looks back at a love gone forever. Atmospheric pop layers shine what might have been a guiding light but in the end reality prevailed. Similarly, gently paced, See the Light looks forward with hope. That hope for better times burns through Back to the Light, where acoustic and electric riffs surge with life and love on the road. Musing about the past and future inevitably involves much introspection. Despite a jaunty piano line, Self-Sedation has Norman turning into William Blake, “Some are born to endless night/ I’d say my namesake got that right”. McGinley looks beyond the harm caused by today’s increasing polarisation in the anthemic I Will Love You. The phrase Nothing Lasts Forever is a truism, but we must hope Teenage Fanclub continue to create music for many years to come. These ten songs show how.

Live, TFC appeared at The Glasshouse 2, which used to be Sage 2, on Thursday 9th November, which Shelley, Ben and I took in, but we’ll talk about that next time.

Another band Ben and I ticked off our dad and lad bucket list were Gang of Four, which I think only leaves Cornershop and My Bloody Valentine on the must-see list. Having seen Wire, TFC, The Mekons 77, The Pop Group, The Raincoats, Penetration, Mogwai, GY! BE, The Fall and Lee “Scratch” Perry over the years, it must be said that Gang of Four outstripped every one of those acts with a blinding performance at The Grove in Byker (hahahahahahahahahahaha…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz). They were incredible; the power and solidity of the Hugo Burnham and Sara Lee rhythm section, a virtuoso performance by David Pajo, in place of the late, much-missed Andy Gill (and I have neither insight nor interest into the sad fissure between the erstwhile guitarist and the rest of the band) and an incredible feat of vocal clarity and astonishing energy by the incomparable Jon King. A near two hour set, from the opening Return the Gift to the closing encore of Damaged Goods, hit every high spot of the bands early career. I was delighted to see both Solid Gold and several singles and b-sides getting an outing. Obviously, Ether, I Found That Essence Rare, What We All Want and To Hell with Poverty tore the roof off the place, but even minor classics like We Live as We Dream Alone and Paralysed were acclaimed furiously. An incredible night featuring an incredible set by an incredible band.

Finally, can I recommend the album Songs for T, available from Katpis Tapes on Bandcamp. My dear friend Richy Hetherington lost his son Thomas last year and this compilation is a tribute to him, involving many of the acts Richy organised to play at his Sunday afternoon, NME endorsed Happy Sundays events. Featuring many lo-fi acts, including local lad Nev Clay and Richy’s own Lovable Wholes (a name I suggested to him), not to mention Tot’s favourite artist Jeffrey Lewis, this is a gentle CD that is packed full of warmth and love. Please buy it, even if you hate that sort of music, because all profits go to Kidscape and Papyrus. Each purchase will help to keep our kids alive.

Books:

 


The most important, and best, book I’ve read since I last posted about my cultural life, is James Ellroy’s magisterial The Enchanters. In this latest peerless slice of LA Noir, we are transported back to August 1962, with nods also to events in 1937, 1948 and 1956, wherein defrocked LAPD operative and subsequently black-balled Private Eye, Freddie Otash, of Ellroy novels passim, untangles the events that led up to Marilyn Monroe’s death. As you’d imagine the Kennedy Brothers, Jimmy Hoffa, as well as a tranche of LA high-ranking lowlifes, such as Chief of Police “Whiskey” Bill Parker and City Mayor, the egregious Sam Yorty, feature prominently throughout. The plot, as is compulsory in Ellroy novels, is convoluted to the point of being labyrinthine, though at least at the end of this one, you know what has actually happened, despite the tale being told by the most unreliable narrator imaginable.

Plot, structure, dialogue and characterisation are all at an impeccable standard and it seems Ellroy, aged 75 and aware his formidable contemporary Cormac MacCarthy passed away earlier in 2o23, has a cleared the path for future Otash novels, explaining his dealings with the one and only Richard Milhous Nixon. This is a surprising artistic twist, as nothing has been mentioned about the third and fourth instalments of the Second LA Quartet, that has been on hiatus since the somewhat preposterously plotted This Storm appeared in 2019. All we can do is wait and anticipate Ellroy’s next journey into the heart of the enormous darkness that is US mid-20th Century history.

Shelley and I often partake of ales in the sophisticated nitespot that is New York Social Club. One great aspect of this juke joint is the huge store of free books that are there for the delectation of imbibers to read at their leisure. From the first time we went in, I’ve tried to avail myself of these treasures, which means several books I’m about to discuss came from there. Firstly, mainly because it was a hardback, I took the esteemed ham actor Valentine Dyall’s Flood of Mutiny, a title taken from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, which is an account of seaborne insurrections from the famed events on The Bounty to the Spithead Rebellion, then on to the Potemkin rising. All rattlingly good stuff, told in a censorious, pro-Establishment tone that leaves you in no doubt Valentine is happy to see them all hanged. Although Dyall comes across as a spokesperson for the Woke Generation when compared to Neil Samworth, former Strangeways screw and author of the pulp autobiography, A Prison Officer’s Story. It’s the usual 250 pages of self-serving hagiographic justification for battering nonces and tea leaves in their cells, with cod psychology profiles of hard men and career crims and the usual tough love approach to drug use (cold turkey anyone?) that probably touches a nerve with disenfranchised former UKIP voters looking for a peg to hang their hatful of hatred on. Utter rubbish.

There is someone who drinks in New York Club who I’d love to buy a rake of pints for, as they have passed on three Ian Rankin books (two novels, Naming of the Dead and the most recent one, Heart Full of Headstones, as well as a short story collection, The Beat Goes On) to me that have piqued my interest in Rebus to the extent that I’m keen to read the whole series. First up, The Beat Goes On: The Complete Rebus Short Stories is an anthology of every Rebus short story, plus the novella Death Is Not the End. Published in 2014, it includes two new stories, set around Christmas 2014, after the central character’s retirement, ranging back to the opening story, “Dead and Buried,” which is set in the mid-1980s when Rebus was learning the ropes at Summerhall Police Station. The twelve Rebus stories in A Good Hanging and Other Stories included here, cover a chronological year in Rebus’s life, which is the kind of exhaustive character, location and plot delineation that has made me fall in love with Rankin’s work. He tells you so much about Edinburgh, current events and invented characters that seem so real.

The Naming of the Dead is the sixteenth Rebus novel. It is set in Edinburgh in July 2005, in the week of the G8 summit in Gleneagles. The book opens with Rebus attending the funeral of his brother Michael, who has died suddenly from a stroke, at the same time as the parents of Detective Sergeant Siobhan Clarke arrive in Edinburgh as part of the protests that surrounded the G8 summit at Gleneagles. Clarke defied her anti-establishment parents by becoming a police officer, but now wants to feel like a daughter. Rebus is nearing retirement and sidelined until the apparent suicide of an MP occurs at a high-level meeting in Edinburgh Castle. At the same time, a serial killer seems to be killing former offenders, helped by a website set up by the family of a victim. Clues have been deliberately left at Clootie Well in Auchterarder, a place where items of clothing are traditionally left for luck.

Siobhan Clarke is placed in charge of the investigation, although she is outranked by Rebus, and finds herself having to compromise with Edinburgh gangster Morris Clafferty in hunting down the identity of the riot policeman who apparently assaulted her mother at a demonstration. Cafferty is also getting older, though his insecurity is balanced somewhat by his having had a biography ghost-written by local journalist Mairie Henderson, who has been enlisted by Rebus and Clarke to help solve the crimes. Rebus and Clarke pursue their investigation, against the background of the 31st G8 summit, seen from both the police side and that of the protestors; among the events referred to are the 7/7 London bombings, the 2012 Olympic bid and George W. Bush falling off his bicycle whilst waving at police officers.

By the end of the book, Clarke realises that she has grown closer than ever to understanding Rebus and increasingly fears that she is becoming more like him: "obsessed and sidelined, thrawn and distrusted. Rebus had lost family and friends. When he went out drinking, he did so on his own, standing quietly at the bar, facing the row of optics."

This book has been called Rankin's finest novel and while it is a great read, I would like to consume more of his work to be able to pass comment on such a judgement.  That should come when I plough through a trilogy that comprises: Black and Blue, The Hanging Garden and Dead Souls, which comprise Rebus novels 8, 9 and 10. By which time, there is hopefully a follow up to the 22nd and most recent instalment, Heart Full of Headstones, whereby Rebus, retired since 2007, DI Siobhan Clarke, and DCI Malcolm Fox all pursue their own investigations, though the cases come together around a policeman named Francis Haggard, stationed at Tynecastle nick.

The three of them frequently exchange information or ask each other for help. Clarke is at first working on the criminal aspect of Haggard's domestic abuse of his wife, which has resulted in their separation; Clarke interviews Haggard and also the wife, Cheryl, and her sister Stephanie Pelham, who has taken Cheryl in. Haggard is threatening to reveal the police corruption at Tynecastle unless the case is dropped. Then Haggard is murdered, and Police Scotland sets up a Major Inquiry Team (MIT) which includes both Clarke and Fox.

Clarke and Fox, along with the rest of the MIT, gradually trace Haggard's last day, using phone records, CCTV footage, and file boxes full of old investigations of the Tynecastle police station. Clarke is successful in identifying the murderer, and Fox informally promises her a promotion to DCI. Rebus, however, tries to pursue his investigation with a crowbar, and it does not end well. It is why I’m so keen to read the 23rd novel in the series.

Rankin tends to use quotations from song lyrics and / or titles to name his books, but he hasn’t specifically written about music, unlike his fellow Scot, the genius that is David Keenan, whose first novel This is Memorial Device, told the story of the greatest band you’d never heard, who were the main figures behind Airdrie’s post punk scene in the late 70s. Before his brilliant debut novel, there was the fascinating biography of three of the actual post-punk scene’s most arcane and enduringly fascinating acts; Coil, Current 93 and Nurse with Wound and the personalities behind them. Keenan’s experience as a performer in the alternative and experimental music milieu, when running Volcanic Tongue records, gave him the ideal exposure to acts featured in this lovingly curated and endlessly fascinating account of some of the most challenging music imaginable. While I am a devotee of Throbbing Gristle, I never really got Coil, partly because of their grindingly fierce undertones and backbeat. Reading this book, I’m vindicated that I’ve made the right decision to swerve them. Jhonn Balance may have been an inspired and tragic artist, but Sleazy Peter Christopherson was simply a scatological bully and boor whose work I can live without. David Tibet lived in Benwell in the mid to late 70s when he was doing his degree at Newcastle University; I bet he fitted in well with the locals. I have to say I’m not entirely familiar with his oeuvre, but he comes across as a right pretentious simp in this book. I should really find out more of his work. The same is true of the magnificent Steven Stapleton, as I’ve loved every note I’ve heard by Nurse with Wound, as well as being enduring fascinated by the world and manner in which he lives, almost off grid, in County Clare. Fair play to the lad.

Talking of Ireland, as you’ll well know, we headed over there in August for our holidays, on the very day the comprehensive and utterly essential Utilita Football Yearbook 2023/2024 popped through my letterbox. I’ve got all 54 editions and use them on almost a daily basis.

Anyway, whilst over there, I got hold of a couple of books that I thoroughly recommend. Picked up from a charity book stall in a supermarket, Donal Ryan’s elegiac semi-tragic love story, All We Shall Know, is both poetic and sad. The narrator, Melody is 33 and has just informed her husband that her unborn child is not his. A 17-year-old Traveller named Martin Toppy, whom she taught for more than a year, is the father. Melody is an educated woman who has written poetry for the local newspaper. She has also written articles on assistance for asylum seekers and abortion.

However, this is purely exposition. In the narrating of her life, we get no sense she has an opinion on abortion other than one fleeting mention of London while she considers what to do with her pregnancy. Nor do we get a sense of her feelings about class issues or discrimination against Travellers other than correcting her father and husband for using derogatory terms. The reader is left on the surface of her psychological landscape, unable to delve into what should be a truly interesting character. Refreshingly, Melody refuses to be a victim, but as if to offset this denial of easy sympathy, every other character becomes weak and needy. Within the opening 40-odd pages, everyone (other than Melody) cries: Melody’s husband on hearing about the pregnancy, Martin Toppy when he first arrives to be tutored, Melody’s father at the kitchen table, her childhood friend, Breedie, and a young Traveller woman, Mary. The tears are unrelenting.

To his credit, Ryan does attempt to give voice to the Traveller community. The two teenage Travellers in the novel are illiterate, though 19-year-old Mary has the “taste of a vision” and is something of a mystic. Martin’s father is a famous bare-knuckle boxer and Martin himself will follow suit. Here, the novel follows a well-worn path of violence between Travellers, with shootings, slashings, family feuds and scores being settled “one on one”. For a writer of Ryan’s obvious talents, it seems like a missed opportunity for an underrepresented community to be portrayed in such a negative, cliched way. Certainly, it lags far behind Eamonn Sweeney’s superb Waiting for the Healer in terms of dealing with this vexed issue. Additionally, the moral consequences of Melody’s actions, seducing a boy of 16 over the course of a year, could have been examined in more depth.

The sharpest moral compass in the whole of the Six Counties belongs to Glenn Patterson. Author of the celebrated Fat Lad, he uses his rapier intellect in the essay collection Lapsed Protestant to point, jab and puncture the hypocrisy of both sides of the political divide in the dangerous days after the Good Friday Agreement, when peace was more of a concept than a state of being. Obviously, some of the events and cultural references that date back more than two decades need researching, but by and large, time has shown him the wiser. I’m looking forward to sourcing the follow-up Here’s Me Here: Further Reflections of a Lapsed Protestant.

 

 



Tuesday, 31 October 2023

My Dark Places

I faced some internal demons last week, by paying a visit to Felling, where I was dragged up -:

About a fortnight ago, I heard second hand that a couple of people I’d known earlier in my life had died. One of them, Maureen Humbert (84), was a vague relation I’d never, ever got on with. The other death was of Sandy Chadwin (59); a bloke I’d been at University with but had subsequently lost touch with over the years. Somewhat bizarrely, one of the reasons Sandy cut off contact with me,  was because of my unequivocally negative attitude towards Felling; that scenic fishing village on the south bank of the Tyne where I puked my puke of a childhood until I escaped in 1983. Sandy, who was born and brought up in one of the biggest houses in Jesmond, seemed to subscribe to my ex-sister’s  overly sentimental staged attitude to the place. Then again, he didn’t have to live there and didn’t hang about with anyone who did.

Let’s be honest about things. I am, by nature and by experience, a miserable wreck of a human being. I’m not breaking any confidences or covering any new ground when I state that I have hated huge portions of my life; certainly, I have no happy memories of my childhood until the age of 14. Everything about my formative years was a misery; I was relentlessly physically and sexually abused by my parents. I lived in constant fear of violence being inflicted on me, which lasted until I was almost 22, as the last time my father beat me up was the day of my graduation. What a great memory to leave people I studied with who’ve never seen me since. I had such a toxic relationship and negative attitude to my mother that from the moment I went to University, I pretended that my real mother had died when I was very young and the swaggering, evil psychopath my father married was my stepmother. Indeed, as I only got on with her for about 3 years of her widowhood, after my ex-sister cut off all contact with her, until the onset of vascular dementia returned her behavioural patterns to the true nasty, evil psychopath that she was, I feel I was right to do that. Nobody ever wants to admit their mother used to abuse and belittle you. Then again, I do now. I embrace the fact I survived her attacks.

I no longer consider the question as to whether I am mentally ill or indeed what conditions I suffer from, as relevant to explaining my personality. I am just me; ian cusack. I am a product, as we all are, of my experiences, though almost all of mine are thoroughly unpleasant ones. In considering how I turned out to be the person I am, I see growing up in Felling, home of some of the most violent heterosexual men you could ever want to meet, as one of the major problems in my life. Getting over my childhood and adolescence is one obstacle that has resolutely remained unsurmountable. I hated Felling and still find it almost impossible to talk about the whole NE10 post code cogently and calmly, as it is a terrible trigger for my anxiety and depression. Flashbacks, both visual and auditory, make me want to be physically sick.  

I did move back there between 1988 and 1991, buying my first flat on Woodlands Terrace, only moving when my first wife Sara (mother of my son Ben) and I bought a lovely house in Spital Tongues, but that brief return is not something I am happy to admit. I regret it bitterly. However, the deaths of Maureen Humbert and Sandy Chadwin have caused me to take time and reflect on my life, my mortality and my legacy to-be. Having gone back to The North of Ireland in August to rediscover where I lived as a student, I knew I had to take a trip back to Felling and try to make sense, or contextualise, the source of all my sad dreaming. 

You see, when trying to make peace on our own terms with the dead, it isn’t just a case of regretting we weren’t able to call a truce before their passing. Sometimes it is the exact opposite of that; Friday 27th October 2023, the day of my trip, would have been my mother’s 86th birthday and if I’d gone to visit the grave she shares with my father in Blaydon Cemetery, I would have lain flowers for him and spat on her name, as that what she means to me. My main regret is that I didn’t tell her what an evil, malign influence she was on me and how I’m delighted she’s dead. I only wished it had happened much sooner so my dad could have enjoyed his last years, rather than waiting on her hand and foot, being given zero thanks in return. I’ve never mourned her passing and I never will.

I’m 60 next birthday and, at times, I worry that I’m not going to make it. I don’t think there is anything specifically wrong with me, but I have a bizarre sense that something foreign, something malign is growing within me. It may be anxiety, or it may be something more sinister, though every test I’ve had, for a boatload of possible cancers, has come back clean. I don’t want to die yet, as I’ve never been as happy in many aspects of my life than I am now, though these deaths have shaken me. Made me question my existence and my purpose. The simple fact is one never knows what is around the corner. This is part of the reason why I took myself off to hospital. The bus stop next to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital. Having stood in Eldon Square Bus Station for an aeon on Friday morning, the first bus that arrived was for Wrekenton, rather than Winlaton, which decided things for me. I wasn’t going to Blaydon to visit the dead. I was going to Felling to fight them.

And so it was, I took the 57 to The Traveller’s Rest; a pub I’d only ever been in once, back in 1981. It’s still open, unlike the formerly neighbouring White Swan, which has been demolished and rebuilt as flats. There was a logic to me approaching Felling from the South; the place is built on a huge hill that is probably the Tyne’s floodplain, so walking down Windy Nook Bank is considerably less effort than coming up. The fact was, I wasn’t strictly in the historical territory of Felling, which used to be denoted by the Felling Urban District Council sign that stood opposite the entrance to the QE, and its adjoining training establishment (whose sign claimed it was the Gateshe Re Schoo o Sing) until April 1st, 1974, when the town was absorbed into Gateshead. Strangely though, as kids we didn’t consider our concept of Felling as being the full geographical town, as we narrowed our parameters to the ward boundaries and school catchment areas. Hence, Windy Nook corner, or the adjoining top Bay Horse (still trading) when we got a bit older, was the end of the known world. It still seemed that way as The Black House (RIP and now a Tesco Express) at the junction of Coldwell Lane and Carr Hill Road with Windy Nook Road and Albion Street, still stood as the gateway to our known world. From there you could trace the back lane along to Robert Owen Gardens, Oxberry Gardens, Greenbourne Gardens, all accessible from the magnificently named Co-Operative Crescent, where the late fruiterer Steven Foster owned his bungalow. I used to collect pools coupons as my first ever job and his 8 from 10s were one of my regular collections. He died of a brain aneurysm in 1978, aged 59. The same age as I am now. His widow must be dead now, but their bungalow looks untouched.

Next we came to Nursery Lane, with Ruskin Road and Iona Road the southern and western boundaries of my childhood world. Arran Gardens is reasonably new; built on what used to be the allotments in between Carr Hill and Felling. Nursery Lane was the epicentre of my world until about the age of 11. I lived there, played there and just about went to school there at Falla Park Infants and Juniors. The only extension to my world before the 1974 World Cup was to Heatherwell Green, where my grandmother lived for the last 50 years of her life, where we played football from dawn to dusk for 9 months of the year and cricket for the other 3, or to dice with death amidst the building works involved in the subsequently long-demolished Poulsen-designed Balmoral Drive tower blocks and maisonette slums. They were pulled down in 1987. Barely a decade and a half they stood.


Heatherwell Green’s proud sporting pitch is now decimated by the need to provide parking spaces for residents. When my grandfather was alive (he died in 1967), he was the first person to park a vehicle overnight on that street. Having learned to drive in the Army during WW2, he secured a job back on Civvy Street delivering bread for Carricks’, with a large lorry to dispense the large loaves from. Scaffolding currently covers their house at number 2, but the houses look as sound and steadfast as ever, which isn’t bad considering they’ve been there almost 90 years. Hopper Road. Brettanby Road. Victoria Road. Falla Park Crescent, still bounding the school and leading on to the trio of damp, sandstone Tyneside terraces that predate the brick built council houses by at least a quarter of a century. Clarke Terrace. Woodlands Terrace, where someone emerges from a van with ladders on the top and knocks on the door of 21. He gets an answer and I put my phone away. No photo today. Hewitson Terrace, where Carole Connor’s house still displays her ballroom dancing obsession with tango and cha cha cha themed curtains and ornaments.

The rain has held off so far, but just as I brace Coldwell Park, where I endured years of parental torment, the rain starts to fall without respite. A biblical downpour. My pen fails. My notebook turns to mush. My fiery anger is unwillingly quenched and, with no choice but to head on at double pace, I turn back on myself to visit Rectory Road, Chilside Road, Belgrave Terrace, Werhale Green, Elldene Crescent, Monksfeld, Watermill Lane, The Drive, Crowhall Lane and back down to Felling Square. The Greyhound and The Jubilee are gone, but The Blue Bell and The Portland cling on. A junkie tries the door handle of an incongruous BMW, muttering as the security system foils him.  The Princess of Felling probably doesn’t realise the Library on Tarlton Crescent is now houses, with Godfrey Thompson Court and Felling Club soon to be demolished for more new developments.


The rain got heavier, and my task lost its purpose. My feet ached. I was soaked from head to toes. I could no longer take notes. My wish to cover the High Street and the section from the Park to Heworth Metro would have to wait for a better day. Not for the first time, Felling had defeated me. I left, not with feelings of anger, but of dejection and despair. Yet again, nobody listened to me and so, before I die, before whatever the malaise within me overtakes my senses, I will be forced to return.



Tuesday, 24 October 2023

Wide Boys

 On Saturday 21st October, I went to see Wallsend Boys Club Under 23s v Wideopen, and thoroughly enjoyed myself...

The news that Percy Main’s game at home to Chemfica Amateurs, along with every other Northern Alliance fixture that was to be played on grass, had been postponed on account of Storm Babet’s excessive watering of the pitch, was not in any way unexpected. It was still very disappointing, as it was supposed to be the debut programme with me as editor. In order to keep myself sane, I knew I needed a live football fix and not just some firestick fun. Hence, I scanned the surviving fixtures, of which there were 2 in the George Dobbins League Cup (Newcastle City v Whickham Under 23s and Wallsend Boys’ Club Under 23s v Wideopen) and 5 in the Bill Gardner Cup (Gosforth Bohemians Reserves v Blyth Rangers, Heddon v AFC Newbiggin, Hexham v Walker Central, Newcastle Independent v Benton and North Shields Athletic Reserves v Great Park). Interestingly, there was also a potentially fascinating encounter that spanned the political divide in Conference North where Blyth Spartans, a team from the Tory heartlands, were hosting the sporting scion of the Socialist Republic of Tamworth, but it was £15 to get in, so I quickly abandoned any thoughts of that one. Just as well, as it was apparently a rotten game that Tamworth won deep in injury time.

Of the 7 fixtures available to me, I immediately dismissed any thoughts of Gosforth Bohs (2-2 and 4-3 after penalties), even if they were playing at Kenton School, where I’ve never been, Heddon (0-11), Hexham (1-5) and Newcastle City (4-0), because of the length of journey required and Newcastle Independent (4-0), as I’ve been to Coach Lane on innumerable occasions. This left a straight choice between North Shields Athletic and Wallsend Boys’ Club, which I allowed Go North East buses, fresh from their latest week’s holiday, to decide. Stood by the Shiremoor Farm, I decided that the first 307 to arrive would seal my fate; up the hill and I was off to the Boyza, while down the hill would send me to Shields. Within a few minutes, I spotted a bus lumbering up from the Coast Road, passing Formica and the industrial estate where the sorting office is; Wallsend here I come.

I was pleased with this flip of fortune’s coin for a couple of reasons. Firstly, and most relevantly, I’d seen WBCU23s a couple of times, most recently when they won away at Walkergate, and I liked the way they played football. Secondly, and more nostalgically, I’d not been to the Rheydt Avenue site since I retired from playing Over 40s at the end of the 2016/2017 season. I’d played for the same team from the start of the 2005/2006 season, when we finished 9th in Division 4 and quit when we won the Division 1 title, just before I turned 53. Initially, we were The Board Inn, from Herrington by the A19, but that was simply because we’d taken over their former team’s registration. We were subsequently known as Heaton Winstons, then Wallsend Winstons and, finally, Wallsend Boys’ Club. I found it more than amusing that someone of my modest to negligible abilities was able to call myself a playing member of the famous WBC. It had to be true; we were all given training gear and strips to prove the fact. I’ve still got my polo shirt and training top. Of course, being honest, I was basically the reserve keeper for my last 3 seasons, getting rustier and older by the week, given the odd game when the first-choice lad wasn’t available, or brought on in the last few minutes with the points already secure. The very idea of me donning the gloves in the Premier Division of the North East Over 40s, up against blokes who’d played as professionals or won the FA Vase as non-league players, was laughable. Farting about on the website, I did notice one intriguing thing though; the team I played for are now called North East Sporting Club, so I presume there has been a falling-out along the way. I’ve no idea why though and, as I don’t recognise any of the named players on the registration list, it’ll remain a mystery, I guess.

Anyway, alighting from the 307 at Devonshire Gardens, I realised I’d misjudged the distance I needed to walk, to the extent that by the time I arrived, it felt like I’d managed to get my 10k steps in and still made kick off. The new 4G facility is very impressive, as it boasts both a perfect playing surface and a proper stand, providing cover from the elements and, crucially on this sunny afternoon, shade from a glaring sun that beat down relentlessly, blinding those on the far side and making a liar of the meteorologists who’d claimed incessant rain would be our lot until late Saturday night.  The game, like the weather and the surroundings, was pretty good as well. I’ve not seen Wideopen in years, though I have noticed they’ve progressed up a couple of divisions in recent seasons, and they looked a decent, experienced outfit.

The home side, playing as ever to a system that emphasised pushing up and short passing, took the lead with a decent strike into the top corner, but this was rather against the pattern of play in the first half. Wideopen’s experienced strikers showed a fine sense of movement and dragged the Wallsend defenders around the place, though the quickfire double that gave the visitors a half-time lead, came more from inspired clinical finishes than any style of play. The equaliser saw the balled curled home from the edge of the box, though there may have been a final touch that deceived the home keeper, while the second saw a moment of calm after a frenetic scramble, as a well-placed effort was rolled into the corner.

I’d spent the first half squinting into the sun, so moved round to the stand, with an attendant 15 degree drop in temperature, to sit among some rather partisan home fans, who appeared to be the dads and uncles of the lads representing the Boyza. For almost the entire half, they were frustrated and disappointed as the Wideopen keeper held everything they threw at him and the ones he didn’t catch went harmlessly wide. Frankly, WBC could have scored at least 3 on the balance of play, but Wideopen showed how it should be done with a fast break and simple tap-in. It wasn’t as good as Callum Wilson’s goal at SJP that put the cherry on the 4-0 thrashing of Crystal Palace, but it deserved a warm round of applause as it made the final score 3-1 to the visitors, who progress to round 3 of the George Dobbins League Cup. Best of luck to both teams. I hope to see you again in the future.


  

 

 


Wednesday, 18 October 2023

Football Travels

I'm delighted to say I've just accepted the role as programme editor for Percy Main Amateurs. The first issue is this Saturday (October 21st) at home to Chemfica Amateurs in the Bill Gardner Cup. Here's my article from the programme, explaining why I've not seen The Villagers that often of late...


As Norman mentioned earlier on in this issue, the home game against Hebburn Town Reserves was actually an away game, meaning our last proper home fixture was the 2-0 win over Burradon & New Fordley on September 2nd. Indeed, from a personal perspective, that was the last time I got to see the Main in action, for a variety of reasons, which I’ll attempt to explain as follows…

September 9th: Tynemouth 3s (235/7) beat Lintz 2s (170/8) by 65 runs.

Perhaps not the most high-profile of fixtures, but an important one, as this victory kept Tynemouth 3s safe from relegation, meaning we’ll again be plying our trade at the exalted level of Northumberland and Tyneside Cricket League Division 5 (South) again in 2024. For this particular fixture my telling contribution involved not being required to bat and not taking a wicket in either of the overs I bowled. Just call me Liam Livingstone II.

September 16th: Whitley Bay 3 Newcastle Benfield 1

One of those instances when the difference in rainfall between the north and south banks of the Tyne can be strangely significant. A few years ago, this would have been one of the top fixtures in the local non-league calendar and, to be fair, both teams are still reasonably big names, but the standard of Northern League Division 1 is dropping alarmingly, as a result of so many teams being promoted to the Northern Premier League East. Whitley, still managed by Nicky Gray, are up in the top part of the table, but don’t appear to have the strength in depth to remain there, never mind push on. Meanwhile, Benfield are now managed by Paul Brayson (who named himself on the bench on his 46th birthday), but other than the eternally excellent Andrew Grainger and the returning Lewis Scorgie, are a side too young for this level, though it was good to see ex-Villager Jay Errington getting his game up top. Should have scored too!

 

September 23rd: Walkergate 1 Wallsend Boys’ Club Under 23s 2

As we always going to be without a game on this day, I had decided to continue the football equivalent of painting the Forth Bridge, by making steps towards recompleting the Northern Alliance. Having been thwarted at the end of August when the ref failed to show up, I got to see a decent contest on a difficult surface, with heaps of cut grass over ankle deep in places, that saw the one-touch football of the Boyza youths, who we saw lose unluckily to Morpeth A in the Neville Cowey Cup final back in May at Purvis Park, hold of the more robust and direct style of the home team. This ground is on the Fossway, across from the former pub of the same name and the residence of a famous East Ender, John Henry Sayers. You’d want to be careful about putting the ball over his fence, eh?

Saturday 30th September: West Allotment Celtic 4 West Auckland Town 0

Having cried off from attending both the previous evening’s 1-0 loss up at Alnwick town and Newcastle v Burnley, on account of the bus strike, I took my bike up the A191 to East Palmersville Sports Pavilion. While this is a brilliant facility for Forest Hall (Celtic!) in the division below us of The Alliance, I have my reservations as to whether a very handy Northern League side, with more than an outside chance of promotion, should really be playing at a ground where you can wach the game for nothing from the road beside the ground. Although I have to say, the current WAC are well worth paying your £6 to see, especially their French schemer, Cyril Giroud, once of Benfield, who took a lumbering West Auckland defence to pieces on his own, setting up all four goals. A decent afternoon out, which unfortunately ended in a teeming downpour that made the 4 mile return bike ride seem considerably longer.

Saturday 7th October: York City 2 Bromley 2

Shelley’s daughter Chloe is a student at York University. Having spent her first year in the safety of the halls of residence, she is now attempting to recreate the set of Withnail and I with 5 pals in a house share. Clearly Mother wanted to check on how the first born is coping, so I organised cheap train tickets on a Saturday that just happened to coincide with a home game for the Minstermen. Strange that, eh? Well, Chloe’s chap Max is a York fan (and former academy keeper no less), so it was a good opportunity to get acquainted. Their old ground Bootham Crescent was a lovely old spot, in walking distance of the Minster, but the LNER Stadium is a new build on a retail park, past Heworth (no; not that one!). I tell you what though, it’s a great ground; superb legroom, great sightlines and a passionate 4,500 crowd who were dancing in their seats, until Bromley’s 94th minute equaliser silenced the place. I’d definitely come here again.