Wednesday, 8 June 2022

0-0*-2-1*-0 (av:1)

We’re almost two months into the 2022 cricket season and this is the first blog I’ve submitted on the subject. As you can imagine, there’s a decent amount of ground to cover. The majority of this piece will be the recycling of the weekly Press Release I compile in my role as Press Officer for Tynemouth Cricket Club. It’s a role I love and that I’m honoured to fulfil. Additionally though, there is the late-blooming weed of my playing commitments. I had hoped fervently that the Midweek XI (aka Bad Boys) would keep going, but the various life commitments and personal circumstances of my team mates always made it unlikely there would be a Thursday game. I was sad when the dissolution of the Midweek side was confirmed three days before Stobswood away but, and I’m not quite sure how this has happened,  but I’ve just received an email confirming my selection for Tynemouth 3s this Saturday at home to Lintz 2s, which will be my 10th game of the season; 6 league and 1 cup tie for the 3s, 2 appearances for Ega old Boys in Don Catley’s Midweek League and, scarcely credibly, 1 outing for Tynemouth CC First XI in the NEPL 20/20 group stages. During this time I’ve scored 3 runs, averaging 1, taken 1 wicket at a cost of 30, and held on to one catch. Intrigued? Read on…

Week 1: Tynemouth Cricket Club began the 2022 season with a pair of victories and a narrow loss on Saturday 16th April. The First XI, giving debuts to Australian professional Esham Rahman and batter Matthew Kimmitt, hosted Sunderland while the 2s made the reverse journey to Ashbrooke. Things began unpromisingly at Preston Avenue with Tynemouth skipper Matty Brown losing the toss, then took a severe turn for the worse when the home team fell to a calamitous 5/3. Barry Stewart, first ball, Stuart Poynter and Andrew Smith, promoted in the absence of regular openers Ben Debnam and Ben McGee, were all back in the pavilion when skipper Brown and all-rounder Rahman came together. Brown, playing with trademark aggressive intent, made 28 before feathering a catch to keeper Chris Youldon, leaving Tynemouth 52/4, though there were clear hints the greentop pitch was losing some of its earlier demons, even if the departure of Kimmitt after a composed 14 left Sunderland on top. At this point, Rahman assumed control, powering his way to a superb 112. With able support from Joe Snowdon (20) and David Mansfield (29), Tynemouth made their way to an impressive 252 all out from 49.2 overs.

In reply, Sunderland began solidly and continued to build steadily, courtesy of Ross Whitfield (57), George Drissell (56) and Greg Applegarth (47). Despite earlier inroads by Owen Gourley, Martin Pollard and Andrew Smith, when the visitors were 170/3 it appeared the home side were facing a possible defeat. Then skipper Brown ran out Drissell with a pinpoint throw that enabled Poynter to whip off the bails with the batter stranded. Pollard and Smith each claimed a further victim, before Gourley, bowling with pace and confidence, mopped up the tail, ending with 5/32 to help Tynemouth over the line to a good victory after a fine game of cricket.

Tynemouth 2s were in fine form with the bat, despite skipper Andrew Davison perishing first ball, compiling an impressive 256/9 from 50 overs. Patrick Hallam top scored with 63, ably supported by Joel Hull-Denholm (49), Adam Williams (39*), Matty Walton (34) and Anthony Turner (30). In response, Sunderland were skittled for 149, with wickets shared around: Beever (3/41) was the pick of the bowlers, but Walton (2/23), Bennett (2/36) and Davison (2/3) were also significant contributors to the Tynemouth cause.

The sole blemish on an otherwise perfect weekend saw Tynemouth 3s lose by 3 wickets to Greenside. Batting first, Tynemouth capitulated to 51 all out, with only Finn Hodgson (19) offering significant resistance. Indeed skipper Lee Reed matched both Barry Stewart and Andrew Davison by falling to their first ball of the season. However there was almost an Easter resurrection as the returning Phil Morse and young Sean Aditjandra turning it square and claiming a brace of victims each, leaving Greenside teetering on the brink at 42/7, though they did crawl over the line.

Week 2: On only the second Saturday of the 2022 season, Tynemouth Cricket Club fielded three very different sides than had been the case the week before. Some of these changes were as a result of availability; others were provoked by unavailability, while second team skipper Andrew Davison was declared hors de combat after sustaining a nasty foot injury in the nets.

Tynemouth Cricket Club gave a first team debut to bowler Andrew Jones, who returned a more than modish 2/41 from his 10 overs as the visitors from Benwell Hill chased down the 223 runs required for the loss of 5 wickets in 47.3 overs. Batting first, Tynemouth posted 222 all out, with skipper Matty Brown top scoring with a belligerent 68. He was given ample support by Matt Kimmett (45). Other batters started well enough, such as Stuart Poynter (19), Esam Rahman (21) and Dan McGee (20), but there were few other significant contributions. In reply, The Hill had the worst possible start, when Scotland captain Kyle Coetzer was dismissed by Owen Gourley without scoring. Though Gourley also claimed the scalp of Luke Doneathy and Rahman bagged his maiden Tynemouth wicket, Angus Guy’s unbeaten 104 saw the visitors home without serious mishap.

In the absence of the aforementioned Davison, Martin Pollard dropped down from the first team to skipper the 2s at Denton Bank. This was to prove Tynemouth’s sole success of the weekend, built primarily on Joe Hull-Denholm’s outstanding 81, with solid support from the youthful Robbie Bowman (21) and the more mature Graeme Hallam (23) in a total of 218/9. In response, The Hill reached 206, with Pollard (4/38) leading from the front.  Hallam also displayed the value of age and guile, posting 2/33, helping the 2s to maintain an unbeaten start.

As for the 3s, captain Richy Hay was back in control, after assisting the 2s on the opening weekend. He took a much changed side from the one originally selected to face Annfield Plain 2s at Enterprise Park. The home side batted first and accrued a steady 162/9 from their full 40 overs. While the skipper bowled with accuracy and control, he was unfortunately left wicketless as the victims were claimed by the returning trio of James Carr (3/20), Sam Robson (3/37) and Dan Storey (3/25). Unfortunately, Tynemouth’s batting lacked application and a series of poor shots led to cheap dismissals, resulting in a disappointing 79 all out, with only Finn Hodgson and James Carr (both 14) reaching double figures. 

This was my first game of the season, getting a call up because of various shuffling around of the sides after Andrew Linehan contracted COVID, long after it was fashionable to do so. I contributed a solid 7-ball duck, being bowled after completely missing a straight one, which annoyed me as we fell 1 run short of a first batting point.

Week 3: Tynemouth Cricket Club’s three Saturday teams achieved a more than satisfying clean sweep on April 30th. The first team were away to Burnopfield on a blustery afternoon where, having won the toss and elected to bat, the home side posted a challenging 248 all out from 47.1 overs. Alatair Appleby (37) and John Oswell (42) compiled an impressive opening partnership of 80, before both were out in short order to Andrew Smith and Martin Pollard respectively.  David Seymour and Martin Oswell took the score along to 186, before Esam Rahman broke the partnership, when Seymour feathered him to Stuart Poynter behind the stumps. Wickets then fell in quick succession, including the ball of the day by Pollard (3/420 to dismiss Matthew Purdy. Other than the injured Owen Gourley, all Tynemouth bowlers chipped in, with David Mansfield taking a superb caught and bowled to dismiss Nakul Gowda and Josh Koen accounting for the dangerous Gareth Breese.

In a strengthening wind with ominous clouds overhead, the Tynemouth innings followed a similar pattern to Burnopfield’s. Andrew Smith and skipper Matty Brown put on 80 for the opening wicket, before Smith was caught behind. Brown followed soon after, offering up a leading edge to Appleby. Koen contributed a useful 12, before Rahman was brilliantly caught low down by James Radcliffe for 5, leaving Tynemouth wobbling at 140/4. As he has done all season so far, Matthew Kimmett (24) made a steady contribution, but when he and Poynter, given lbw for 45, were dismissed, the game seemed to have gone away from the Croons. Thankfully, Joe Snowdon (45*) stood up to be counted with an innings of rugged belligerence, ably assisted by Dan McGee (14*), to see Tynemouth over the line for an excellent victory by 2 wickets.

At Preston Avenue, the 2s and 3s, batting first in both instances, enjoyed rather more comfortable wins than the nail-biter at Burnopfield. The 2s posted an eye-catching 299/3, with Barry Stewart (110*) and Andrew Linehan (61*) proving that age and guile can be as effective as youth and bravery were in the 1s game, and also here, where Joel Hull-Denholm (59) compiled another half century and Dan Thorburn (25) gave the innings a solid start. In response, Washington were dismissed for 146, with Neil Bennett (4/22) the pick of the bowlers, with support from Matty Walton (2/28), Chris Beever (2/36), Isaac Murray (1/35) and returning captain Andrew Davison (1/35).

On the back field, Tynemouth 3s posted 214/7 from 40 overs.  A solid opening partnership from Grieveson and Turner laid a platform to attack, before the innings gained real impetus from Phil Morse (83) and Anthony Turner (65). Sundry brief cameos from the middle order got Tynemouth over the 200 mark and in return Consett were bowled out for 125.After some loose early overs which saw Consett get off to a flyer, Tynemouth's seamers eventually made inroads once skipper Hay got his dander up and inspired his charges to fight back. Highlights included two wickets each for James Carr (2-30) and Dan Storey (2-21). Any hints of a middle order comeback from Consett were quickly extinguished by the introduction of 'spin twins' Morse and Robson who combined to dismiss the final 5 Consett batsmen inside 4 overs, without conceding a single run to record remarkable combined figures of 3.4-3-0-5.

Week 4: Tynemouth Cricket Club’s various teams enjoyed mixed fortunes during the week ending Sunday 8th May. The first XI travelled to High Heworth Lane for an NEPL league game against table toppers Felling, who are currently benefiting from having no less than four quality Durham University students in their side.

It was a pleasant and sunny day, and the ground was in good shape. Away skipper Matthew Brown won the toss and decided to bowl first. Both Felling openers are students and high quality batsmen. South African Travis Norris, who plays back home at former Tynemouth overseas star Wesley Bedja’s club hit the first ball of the match for four but then soon after skied a straight drive off Andrew Smith and was caught by Matthew Kimmett. Opening partner and fellow Durham student Joe Cracknell who is on Middlesex’s books was joined by Tyler Easton. They got through the new ball and had taken the score to 84 when Easton hit a short ball from Martin Pollard straight into the hands of Andrew Smith at deep mid-wicket. Alan Mustard became Pollard’s second victim caught by Joe Snowdon for 13. By this time Cracknell was showing his class and a fine partnership developed with Eddie Hurst. They put on a century partnership in a hurry before both went in identical fashion in consecutive overs; caught at long on by David Mansfield off the bowling of Josh Koen. The Tynemouth bowlers fought hard over the remaining overs and a final score of 256 /7 could have been much worse. Pollard’s 4/46 and Andrew Smith’s tight opening 10 over spell were the highlights but credit to all the bowlers and fielders who played with great spirit against some quality batting.

The Tynemouth reply started badly and at 24/3 they were in big trouble with Smith, Poynter and skipper Brown all back in the hutch.  Students Sebastian Allison and Elliot Fox were responsible for the first 3 wickets with Allison in particular bowling with good pace and carry. Tynemouth’s overseas amateur, Esam Rahman came in at 5 and set about repairing the early damage with Ben Debnam. Both looked in good form but with the score on 77 Debnam was bowled by Travis Norris. Kimmitt and Snowdon followed soon after, leaving the score at 93/ 6 and Tynemouth virtually out of the game. Rahman though had other ideas and along with David Mansfield counter attacked with real purpose. However shortly after reaching his half century he was bowled by Fox. Mansfield made a fine 44 and Josh Koen played well for a not out 18 however it was Felling who had their hands on the buzzers most of the day and in the end won comfortably by 64 runs.

Tynemouth CC second eleven had made an early exit from the Banks Bowl knock out tournament on Bank Holiday Monday. Batting first against visitors Burnmoor 2s, a poor start saw them in desperate trouble at 24/5. Despite a counter-attacking, pugnacious 53 from Robbie Bowman, the innings eventually closed with a mere 97 runs on the board. In reply, despite 4 wickets for Neil Bennett and 2 for Graeme Hallam that had Burnmoor rocking at 81/6, the Durham side made it home without further mishap and plenty of overs to spare. Thankfully, in the NEPL Division 2, Tynemouth 2s are a different proposition and were able to sweep Gateshead Fell 2s away with ease at Preston Avenue on Saturday. Batting first, Tynemouth compiled a solid 233/6, with the highlights being Andre Lineham’s sparkling 82, a fine 73 from Ben McGee and an unbeaten 33 from Graeme Hallam, making the most of his unexpected elevation from the 3s.

In response, the Fell were skittled for 127, with Bennett (4/28) again among the wickets, though all the bowlers played their part. Mention must be made of Isaac Murray (2/23) and Chris Beever (2/28) for their efforts. Similarly, Ben McGee made the most of an unexpected afternoon behind the wickets with 2 catches and a leg side stumping.

Tynemouth 3s travelled to Leadgate with only 10 players after a late series of withdrawals. Batting first, Chris Grievson (47) and Sam Robson (21) got the team off to a solid start, before the elegant James Carr (37) and dashing Neil Sturrock (58) put Tynemouth in a strong position. Sadly the lower order failed to contribute enough runs at the innings ended on 191, after only 31 overs. Leadgate (194/9) were to prove how important it is to bat through the full allocation, winning by a single wicket off the last ball of the day. Sam Robson (3/36), Neil Sturrock (3/39) and Dan Storey (2/46) were the successful bowlers on a day when an eleventh player would almost certainly have swung the game in favour of the gallant visitors.

As any batsman will tell you, it’s all about the red inkers, thus remaining on 0* after running out a 13 year old with a dodgy hip who was at the non-striker’s end, I felt like I’d played my part in an almost useful total. In all seriousness, I did alright fielding, with a couple of full length dives that saved four on each occasion. Still maintain we’d have won with a full team like.

Week 5: Unfortunately, Saturday 14th May saw a full house of losses by Tynemouth CC’s three Saturday teams. The first XI played their part in a fine game of cricket played on a lovely day, enjoyed by a large crowd at Roseworth Terrace. Unfortunately, they came up short and lost to South Northumberland by 3 wickets.

Home skipper Adam Cragg won the toss and asked the visitors to bat first on a good looking pitch that played well all day and offered a little bit to everyone. Durham player Mike Jones was available for Tynemouth, and he replaced absent captain Matt Brown. Stu Poynter took over as skipper for the day and would have been happy enough with the start made by Jones and Ben Debnam, who compiled a steady partnership of 38 before Debnam hit an extra cover drive straight to Adam Cragg.

Poynter joined Jones and the pair slowly took the attack to the South North bowlers. Jones, tall and full of drives and Poynter looking to sweep and play square of the wicket. However just when they looked to have taken control at 108/1 both fell in close succession and when the returning opening attack of Wightman and Tindale removed Kimmitt and Rahman, Tynemouth were tottering on 140 /5. However the game was about to take another twist as 18 year old Joe Snowdon took centre stage, making sure Tynemouth finished strongly. Some powerful blows, including one huge maximum, saw Joe steady the ship with Andrew Smith and then go full steam ahead for the last half dozen overs with David Mansfield, who once again played a lovely cameo. Snowdon ended the innings on 59 not out and Mansfield 25 not out, setting South North a total of 241 to chase. Opening pair Wightman and Tindale were the pick of the home attack.

In reply, Simon Birtwisle was bowled by Esam Rahman in his first over and then Andrew Smith picked up the wickets of Chris Hewison and Rob Peyton, leaving the home side struggling at 42/3. However a wonderful partnership of 139 by Solomon Bell and Sean Tindale wrested control of the impetus, before Bell was bowled by Dan McGee for a composed 77 with the score on 184. Tynemouth then upped their game and dismissed Adam Cragg, former player Ollie McGee and Ruaidhri Fletcher in the space of a few overs. With the game finely balanced, Tindale became the match winner for the home team belting three sixes in one over as he hurried to a fine century. With just 3 balls remaining in the final over South North edged home by 3 wickets to the delight of their players and supporters. Esam Rahman bowled his best spell of the season for the away team and mention should also be made of the efforts of Isaac Murray, called into the side at short notice, and returning 1/29 from his 8 tidy overs. It was certainly a day of “what ifs “for the competitive Tynemouth side, who knew they had played a full part in an enjoyable and exciting match.

The same could not be said for the reverse fixture at Preston Avenue. Having eased to a 40-run win over Felling in an NEPL 2nd XI 20/20 group game in midweek, the Tynemouth second string went into their home game with South North in good spirits. Unfortunately, the excellent batting performances that had been the keynote to a solid start to the season were absent, as Tynemouth were dismissed for 174 in exactly 41 overs. In reply, South North achieved the required runs in exactly 1 over fewer, for the loss of 3 wickets.

Tynemouth 3s were again hampered by mass unavailability, with only 10 players taking the field for a home game against Cowgate Sports 2s. The visitors batted first and got off to a flyer, reaching 46/0 after 4 overs, until Ed Snelders, amidst a parsimonious spell, claimed his first wicket, with Adam Tugby behind the stumps taking a superb catch from a skied shot. Both Snelders and Tom Ashton bowled their spells through, taking a brace of wickets each, as did skipper Richy Hay, including a fine caught and bowled. In total, Cowgate posted an imposing 223/8 from their 40 overs, but Tynemouth did not allow this to intimidate them.

Cautiously returning from a foot injury, Owen Gourley contributed an attacking half century, supported admirably by a dogged Tom Ashton. Unfortunately, despite a composed 2 by the youthful ian cusack, overs and batters began to run out as Tynemouth posted an admirable 165, which at least ensured maximum batting points.

Top score of the season thus far; a clip over Cover Point for 2, followed by an attempted repeat of the shot gently lobbing into the same bloke’s hands. Ah well…

However, there is still a silver lining to the gloomy blanket of clouds settling over Preston Avenue, as the Sunday 3s are having a storming start to their season. Having opened the campaign with a 10 wicket win over Ashington in the Banks Cup, they began their league programme with a solid win over Sunderland, with 10 overs to spare, before a memorable 107 run victory over Benwell Hill. Tynemouth batted first, with openers Dan Thorburn and Patrick Hallam enjoying a century partnership before Hallam fell for 48.  Thorburn was then joined by Robbie Bowman and the pair set about the Hill attack. Thorburn eventually fell for 101 and Bowman was 70 not out in TCC’s total of 254-4 off their allotted 40 overs. Dan Watt struck with only the second ball of the Hill's innings and only some late order hitting saw the home side able to post 147 all out.  A fine win, making it two from two for Chris Beaver's young guns.

This week, they made it 3 from 3. Batting first, Tynemouth compiled 238/4, with the young guns Joel Hull-Denholm (56) and Robbie Bowman (47) ably assisted by the more mature pairing of Geoff Simpson (56*) and Chris Beever (33*).  Sacriston mustered 169/8 in reply, with Dan Watt (3/4), Sean Aditjandra (2/22) and Patrick Hallam (2/35) the pick of the bowlers.

Week 6: Tynemouth Cricket Club’s three Saturday and one Sunday senior sides enjoyed a busy period, during the week ending 22nd May, as the prevalence of cup competitions crowded the match day calendar quite markedly.

On Saturday 21st May, Tynemouth 1s entertained table topping Hetton Lyons at Preston Avenue. Returning home skipper Matt Brown lost the toss and was asked to bat first on a wicket that had plenty of grass on it but played well all day.  With Mike Jones back with the Durham side, Brown chose to open with Ben Debnam. The pair put on a handy half century partnership before Brown was caught by Stephenson off the bowling of Feroz. This brought Stewart Poynter to the crease and he got off the mark with a sublime drive through extra cover off Feroz and, along with Debnam, put on a fine partnership off 68, until Debnam hit one straight to cover off the slow left arm bowling of the economical Cameron Grimwood . Poynter was joined by Esam Rahman but in a bid to up the scoring rate took one chance too many and was bowled by Ben McKinney for a fine 70. Matt Kimmett joined Rahman and they put together an excellent partnership of 54 in just half an hour. Kimmett was stylish in defence and in attack played with great invention; two reverse ramp shots will stay long in the memory. Rahman produced a mix of steady forward defence and powerful drives. The pair took the score to 232 and, with several overs left, a score of 260 looked likely. However the Tynemouth middle and late order imploded, with the last 6 wickets going down for just 8 runs and, whilst 240 was a good score, it should have been more.

The Lyons began quickly and raced to 54 before Stuart Walker was adjudged lbw to Andrew Smith and when Owen Gourley had skipper Jarvis Clay strangled down the leg side for a duck, the coast side had regained the advantage. However opener and Durham Academy Player Ben McKinney was playing a fine innings. Tall and standing taller he has a look of Keaton Jennings about him, and the left hander timed the ball very well. An elegant player, and one to look out for. But just as the away side assumed control both McKinney for 63 and Gary Scott for a steady 26 fell in consecutive overs leaving the match well balanced at 120/4. Chris Martin and Chris Ralston were now at the crease, and they put on a vital partnership of 69. But just as the game looked beyond Tynemouth, Andrew Smith returned down bank this time and bowled both players to set up an interesting finish. Tynemouth fought hard but bowlers Liam Dixon, Paul Stephenson and Cameron Grimwood had the answers with the bat and the visitors got home to win by 3 wickets with 4 overs to spare. Andrew Smith with 3/44 from his 10 overs and the steady Martin Pollard were the pick of the Tynemouth bowlers.

On Sunday, Tynemouth 1s hosted Whitburn in a Banks Salver tie. The home team, despite being skittled for a modest 95, with only Joe Snowdon (21) posting a significant contribution, bowled superbly to dismiss Whitburn for a mere 76. All the bowlers took wickets; Esam Rahman (4/27), Dan McGee (3/16), Andrew Smith (2/15) and Neil Bennett (1/8) ensuring Tynemouth progressed to the quarter finals.

Tynemouth 2s had a successful week, defeating South Northumberland in the James Bell Cup in midweek. After posting 154/2, with Barry Stewart (64*) and the destructive Phil Morse (42) leading the way, the bowlers restricted South North to 125. Chris Beever (4/9) was the key. On Saturday, a presumably under strength Hetton Lyons 2s outfit were blown away for 52, with Isaac Murray (3/11) and Matty Walton (3/12) taking most of the plaudits. In response, Tynemouth knocked off the runs required in 12 overs, for the loss of one wicket.

The Saturday third team continue to be dogged by ill-luck and unavailability. A trip to Priors Park on Thursday 19th May for a Dr Tom Barlow Cup game against Lions was another sobering experience. Despite the excellence of Dan Story (3/8), Lions registered 101/9. In response, Tynemouth were dismissed for 63, with Tom Ashton (16) following up an impressive 2/23, top scoring. He was ably assisted in the final wicket partnership of 15 by ian cusack (1*).

For possibly the only time ever, I can genuinely say I enjoyed batting. While Lions hammered us out of sight, I must have faced about 15 balls and had a great laugh with young Tom Ashton at the other end. Another red inker as well…

 On Saturday, the 3s travelled to Heaton Medicals to face Civil Service. Initially, the game remained tight, but fine later innings hitting and a rash of inexplicably poor dropped catches, saw ragged profligacy become the order of the day in the field, as the Civil Service posted an imposing 213/6. In response, debutant Sam Davison (109) scored a century of refined elegance and brutal hitting, that helping to keep the total in sight. Sadly, when Davison was out, the task became too formidable, and Tynemouth closed on 188/8.

This one was going so well until we managed to shell half a dozen catches in the last 15 overs, giving them a far bigger total than they deserved. In the end, I was glad not to get a bat as it stopped them getting maximum points.

The Sunday 3s lost out to a strong Newcastle Academy side. Having been set 249 to win, the young Tynemouth side could only manage 163 in response, though this included Sean Adijandra’s maiden 50.

Week 7: Saturday 28th May saw a clean sweep of victories by Tynemouth’s three senior sides, to mark the end of a busy week for the Preston Avenue outfit.

Firstly, on Wednesday evening, a scratch Tynemouth team travelled to Broadway West to face a strong Newcastle City outfit in the County Bowl. Unfortunately, a Tynemouth side that contained only 3 players with significant first team experience, were no match for their talented opponents, who skittled the visitors for 58 and achieved the runs required for the loss of only 2 wickets. Much more encouragingly, the first team began their NEPL 20/20 group stage fixtures with an excellent 9 run win over Newcastle at Preston Avenue on Friday. Batting first, Tynemouth looked in a measure of danger at 55/4 after 12 overs. However, unbeaten knocks from Ben McGee (44*) and Phil Morse (25*) saw a useful final total of 140/5. Newcastle looked to have this well within range when Kieran Trevaskis scored 3 maximums in an over from the bowling of Owen Gourley. Tynemouth’s bowlers then showed remarkable fortitude and control to effectively stifle the Newcastle batting line-up. Martin Pollard (2-20) was, as ever, key to establishing control over the flow of runs, but he was admirably supported by Gourley (2/37), who recovered brilliantly from the carnage of his opening over, Esam Rahman (2/19) and Andrew Smith (1/24), who turned the game Tynemouth’s way when he had Trevaskis brilliantly caught by Morse for 38. In the end, Newcastle finished on 131/7, meaning Tynemouth won by 9 runs.

On Saturday, Tynemouth played host to Burnmoor in a League fixture and ran out comfortable winners with an impressive performance against last season’s NEPL Runners Up. Conditions at Preston Avenue were cold and breezy at first and it was a surprise when Burnmoor skipper Graeme Bridge, having won the toss, decided to have a bat first on a used wicket with plenty of grass on it. Tynemouth’s opening attack of Andrew Jones and Owen Gourley hit their straps straight away. Durham University student Jones bowled a quick yet controlled opening spell dismissing both openers, Alan Worthy and Ross Greenwell. Owen Gourley then had Marcus Brown caught behind by stand in skipper Stu Poynter before producing a beauty to clean bowl Paul Craig. Neither batsman had troubled the scorers, and their team were in trouble at 21/4. Former Durham County player Ryan Pringle decided attack was the best form of defence and he raced to 40 off just 30 balls before being adjudged lbw off the bowling of Andrew Smith. His innings was great to watch, but his reaction to being given out not so much. Our umpires deserve better. 

Burnmoor were struggling and Smith was bowling well. Whilst only medium pace he was accurate and found both movement and bounce. He was too good for the middle order of Blunt, Coughlin, and Maqsood and his figures of 4/19 off 7 overs well deserved as Burnmoor collapsed to 81/8. Skipper Poynter showed no mercy though and brought Jones back on to clean out the tail which he did by clean bowling Bridge and Linsley in quick succession. There was a lot to like about the performance of Jones who offered a threat throughout and worried all of the batsmen with his pace. 4/31 off 7.5 overs.

As the sun started to shine and the long sleeved jumpers came off it was time for Tynemouth to bat and look to chase down Burnmoor’s modest total of just 86. The two Bens opened for the home side. Debnam started well before playing across one from Maqsood. McGee who was then joined by Stu Poynter. The partnership of 68 that followed was a joy to watch. McGee was all timing and elegance with a real flow to his innings, combined with a rock solid defence. At the other end, Poynter produced a masterclass of how to sweep the ball. When the winning runs were hit McGee was not out on 30 and Poynter had raced to 45 not out. A nine wicket win and maximum points and all achieved by mid-afternoon as some supporters were just arriving, hoping to enjoy the second innings of the game in the bright sunshine .....too late was the cry!

Tynemouth 2s travelled to scenic Castle Eden and posted another comprehensive victory. Bowling first, veterans Chris Beever (3/19) and Barry Stewart (3/27) lead the way, with admirable support from Phil Morse (2/8) and the reliable Neil Bennett (1/14), limiting Castle Eden to 124 all out. In return, Tynemouth 2s achieved the total for the loss of 5 wickets, with Patrick Hallam’s 52 the top score in another comfortable win.

Tynemouth 3s had a superb win over Monkseaton 1s in the Coastal Derby, easing home by the impressive margin of 128 runs. Home skipper Hay called correctly and opted to bat. The wisdom of such a decision was soon under the microscope as Tynemouth rapidly found themselves teetering at 4/3, then 37/4.  At this point, it was time for the elegant James Carr (66) to enter the fray. He and Anthony Turner steadied the ship and added 90 together. At this point, former Tynemouth player Tony Lion took 3 quick wickets, including Carr, which brought Daniel Storey to the crease. He participated in a 50 partnership with Turner, making only 8 of them as Turner took control. Tragically, he was caught on the boundary from the penultimate ball of the innings for 97, trying to bring up what would have been a richly-deserved 100. Tynemouth closed on 211-8 from 40 overs.

In reply, Monkseaton were never at the races. Tight opening overs from Carr (9-22-1) and Hay (9-22-4), including the dangerous Lion, did the damage. With Monkseaton’s top order back in the hutch for less than 50 the change bowlers then tore through the rest. Storey claimed 3-3-0-3 (from 3 wicket maidens!), Snelders took one 1, and the last man was run-out, collapsing to 83 all out. Mention should also be made of a massively improved fielding display, including 3 terrific slip catches from Ben Richardson and 2 in the covers for Chris Grieveson.

The Sunday 3s were without a fixture this weekend but progressed to the quarter final of the Banks Cup with a stellar performance in defeating Burnmoor 3s on Thursday evening. Joel Hull-Denholm lead the way with a sparkling unbeaten 104* as Tynemouth posted 165/2 from their 20 overs. In reply, Burnmoor were restricted to 125/8, with James Walker’s remarkable 5/20 key to the victory.


Week 8: The week of the Jubilee Bank Holiday, ending Sunday 5th June, saw another busy and largely successful week for Tynemouth Cricket Club’s various senior sides. The first XI built on the previous weekend’s successes over Newcastle in the NEPL 20/20 group stages and Burnmoor in the NEPL Premier Division, with a pair of resounding victories. Firstly on Friday evening, a side including sprightly 57 year old debutant ian cusack, well hidden by skipper Matt Brown at short fine leg for the entirety of proceedings, travelled to Shotley Bridge, where the home side batted first. Despite the unnecessary concession of 24 wides and no-balls, effecting presenting the home team with 4 extra overs, tight bowling restricted Shotley Bridge to 104/8. Wickets were shared around, with Phil Morse (3/19), Martin Pollard (2/16), Esam Raham (2/16) and Brown (1/8) being to successful bowlers. In response, Tynemouth did their net run rate a power of good by reaching the target in a shade over 12 overs without mishap with Rahman (55*) and Brown (49*) the successful batters.

About 5.15 on Friday and I’m in Peter and Di Brown’s car, heading to Shotley Bridge and looking forward to a few pints in front of the cricket. Just then the phone rings and skipper Matty is on the blower, telling me I’m about to make my debut for the 1s, about 2 months shy of my 58th birthday. To say I was nervous was an understatement but, possibly because we won so comprehensively (though touching the ball only once in the field means I’m stretching things to say I was a contributory factor), all the lads were absolutely spot on. I felt encouraged and supported in an ethos of collective responsibility. Frankly, it’s one of the sporting highlights of my life.

On Saturday, the first team played hosts to a weakened Whitburn side who were without the services of professional Jack Burnham and young Scottish off spinner Rafay Khan. Tynemouth were at full strength and after winning the toss skipper Matthew Brown elected to bat first on a new strip that proved good to bat on. Ben Debnam opened up with Andrew Smith and the pair began to build a fine opening partnership. Careful to start with it took 10 overs to reach 30 but a steady increase in tempo saw them make a century partnership in 25 overs. At this point the Whitburn attack was tiring and the batters were in control. Debnam was now in attack mode and a flurry of boundaries took him to within one run of a much deserved century when the returning Matthew Muchall took a fine catch low and to his right off his own bowling. No century but a terrific knock and a superb partnership of 178 with Smith. Professional Stuey Poynter was next to the crease, and he played a short but sweet cameo of 18 runs off just 12 balls before he was caught brilliantly in the deep. Smith was next to go for a fine 74 leaving the home side on 210/3. The innings then rather stuttered as the middle and late order made hard work of things. Some injudicious shots coupled with some good catching saw 7 wickets tumble for just 41 runs at which point Brown declared the innings closed at 251/8 after just 51 overs leaving his team 59 overs to bowl out the visitors and clinch maximum points.

Vishal Tripathi and Lee Henderson opened up for Whitburn but struggled against the pace of Andy Jones who once again was in great form. An accurate burst with the new ball saw him claim the wickets of both openers and also Gareth Welsh leaving the visitors in trouble at 31/3. Things only got worse as Esam Rahman and Andrew Smith ran through the Whitburn middle order to set up the win. 15 year old Matthew May and veteran Matthew Muchall defended stoically but with so many overs left defeat was inevitable and it was Smith who broke the partnership, before Owen Gourley claimed the final wicket, caught by skipper Brown. Smith and Jones were the pick of the home attack and certainly needed no aliases, but really all of the Tynemouth bowlers impressed as did wicket keeper Stuey Poynter who took 2 outstanding catches and a stumping. This was an impressive performance by Tynemouth who were the only team in the league on the day to gain maximum points. Up to fourth place now and with four wins in a row they are full of confidence.

Tynemouth 2s lost a tight and engaging home Roseworth Trophy tie to South North on Tuesday 31 May. A competitive 122/4 total was compiled courtesy of some lusty hitting by the revitalised Ben McGee (44), who is revelling in his wicketkeeper / batsman role, with solid support from Anthony Turner (27) and Dan Thorburn (26). Sadly, South North were just that bit too good, achieving the total after 19.3 overs for the loss of 3 wickets. On Saturday, the 2s ventured to Whitburn and registered an impressive 267/5, courtesy of superb knock by Josh Koen (88*) and supporting contributions by Joel Hull-Denholm (60) and Dan Thorburn (55). Despite all their best efforts, especially those of the heroic Matty Walton (5/18), Whitburn held out for a draw, closing on 134/7.

The Saturday 3s travelled west along the road to a much improved and decidedly bucolic Riding Mill on a glorious afternoon, with a team denuded of hors de combat skipper Richy Hay, but with enough ability on paper to win with ease. Sadly, batting first on a decidedly dead pitch that kept infuriatingly low, Tynemouth were not able to harness their undoubted talents. While Chris Beever top scored with a rugged 37 and support was offered by Chris Grievson (17), locum skipper Andrew Davison (16) and the amphibiously gregarious Neil Sturrock (15), the rest of the team barely cobbled together a dozen between them. The net result was a total of 110 all out and the surrender of almost 10 unused overs. In response, Riding Mill achieved the runs required in a fraction over 28 overs for the loss of 5 wickets. This is not to say Tynemouth bowled badly, with Beever (2/27) and Sam Robson (2/33; his first a stunning catch at square leg by the agile cusack) being dangerous throughout their spells, but there were simply not enough runs on the board to make things competitive.

Nice catch, it has to be said. And the genuine joy from the rest of the lads for me in taking it made the day a pleasure to spend in such company. I should point out we’ve lost every game I’ve played in for the 3s this season….

The cricketing week was completed by the Sunday 3s, who hosted South North Academy at Preston Avenue. Batting first, Tynemouth posted a competitive 201/3 from their 40 overs with Patrick Hallam (89*) the outstanding contributor, ably supported by Robbie Bowman (37), Chad Koen (26*) and Finn Hodgson (25). In response, South North fell short, closing on 180/9, with Sean Aditjandra (3/33) being the pick of the bowlers and Adam Blake (2/40) also worthy of a mention.

Apart from my Tynemouth adventures, I’ve also signed up for Eaga Old Boys in the Midweek League. At Di Brown’s prompting, I emailed Don Catley who put my availability on the weekly newsletter. The flood of replies stopped at one; skipper James Harvey dropped me a WhatsApp and I signed up to play at Seaton Burn. We’ve won two and had two others rained off so far. The first I got a TFC, but bowled in the second, taking 1-30 as a result of a hideous crossbatted swipe across the line that was taken at Mid On. They’re a nice bunch of lads and I’m looking forward to playing some more. However, first up we have Lintz 2s on the back field on Saturday. I’ll be in the zone for that one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday, 31 May 2022

This Rock Goddess

 I've been to Glasgow again; Jill Lorean at the Hug & Pint was even better than Darvel v Trananet -:


Scottish alternative music in the West End of Glasgow. Scottish non-league football in darkest Ayrshire. These are about the only things that could tear me away from my beloved Tynemouth Cricket Club on a Saturday in summer. Consequently, despite my erroneous belief it was the Whitsuntide Bank Holiday weekend (cancelled in favour of 2 days of obsequious forelock-tugging, ass-kissing and base toadying to the unelected Windsor dynasty), news that the launch of Jill Lorean’s incredible debut album, This Rock, at The Hug & Pint on Great Western Road could be combined with a trip to the Lowland League promotion play-off between Darvel and Tranent, sent me scrolling through www.thetraineline.com  and www.bookings.com.

I secured a reasonably priced seat on the 08.49 from Central Station, arriving at Queen Street, on a jammed train from Waverley, at 11.37. A pleasurable wander down Sauciehall Street to #904 saw me at The Sandyford Hotel. Too early to book in, I dropped the bags and took a quick tour round Finneston, which seems to be the new Byres Road; a pleasant place where you can almost afford to eat and drink.  I didn’t though as my work pal Kenny, who accompanied me on my last Ayrshire odyssey to Auchinleck and Kilmarnock back in January, showed up to chauffeur me back in time to Darvel.

Initially, we took a detour to Kilmarnock, to enable Kenny to pick up his Scottish Junior Cup final ticket; his team Auchinleck Talbot are playing Yoker on the first Saturday in June at Rugby Park. Brief secured, we took a short drive down the road and arrived in Darvel, a prim and proper sort of place that seemed, on the surface at least, not to be the sort of location to discuss the intricacies of late 17th century Irish history, unlike so many other settlements in the Ayrshire and Lanarkshire area, just in time for kick off.


Darvel play at Recreation Park, which is accessed down a bank off the main street. Over recent years, the significant investment that has been ploughed into the club by ambitious owner John Gall has seen them rise from the Ayrshire and District League, which they won back in 2017, to the cusp of the Lowland League. This season, Darvel came to prominence courtesy of a decent run in the Scottish Cup, which caused a fixture pile-up, exacerbated by Recreation Park’s position at the bottom of a hill on the river bank, resulting in endless postponements for waterlogging. However, despite playing on average twice a week to catch up, they eventually overhauled Auchinleck to win the West of Scotland Premier Division title.

Ridiculously, or so it appears, this achievement did not grant them immediate promotion to the Lowland League. Instead they were required to participate in a three-way play-off with East of Scotland Champions Darvel and, ostensibly, South of Scotland League winners St Cuthbert Wanderers from Kirkcudbright. Obviously, the sparse population in Dumfries, Galloway, Wigtonshire and other such settlements, means St Cuthbert Wanderers were unlikely to be competitive; so it proved as Tranent battered them 7-1 and Darvel Reserves cantered to a 3-0 win. Hence, the authorities decided goal difference would be dispensed with and in the event of a draw, a penalty shoot-out would be required to decide on the winners. That, however, never remotely looked like being required.

On an immaculate playing surface, Darvel sparked into life from the off and showed a determination to win the game early. Sadly for them, the sheer number of games in their heavy legs caught up with them and the momentum swung quickly and decisively. Tranent simply picked them off with a goal in either half. The quality of the play was pleasant on the eye, as both sides sought to play football on the deck, in a contest officiated by the first bearded official I’ve ever seen take charge of a Scottish game. The game attracted a decent crowd of approximately 600, allowing me to catch up with Chris Sanderson, Dave Stoker and Davie from Cowdenbeath; always a pleasure gents…

Kenny, who was amused to see an Ayrshire rival fall at the final hurdle, whisked me back to Glasgow, passing some intriguing sights on the way, such as the former mining village of Moscow and the home of 1-time Scottish Champions Glasgow Rangers (Est 2013). A quick snooze and a stressful, counter-intuitive walk through Kelvingrove Park brought us to Great Western Road and one of my favourite pubs in the city, The Inn Deep. I’m delighted to report it is unchanged and still as fabulous as on my last visit in 2014. The Joker IPA was, of course, utterly immaculate; for those who still harbour prejudice about the quality of Scottish beer, I advise you to get on this marvel from Alloa.

The Hug & Pint is a short walk from Inn Deep and we arrived in plenty of time, though not early enough to eat, alas. Instead, we concentrated on the music and, having somehow managed to miss opening act Raveloe, which I’m still cursing myself for, I got in position for the absolutely fascinating Ali Sha Sha; a beguiling combination of voices, guitar, theremin and occasionally, cello. They are the kind of act that makes me love Glasgow so much; only the inclusivity of a city that has gender neutral toilets at gigs and an absolute intolerance of macho posturing in creative spaces, could breed such fascinating projects. All the very best to them; my ears will remain open.


Now to the headliners, Peter Kelly, Andy Monaghan and Jill O’Sullivan comprise Jill Lorean. They have released 16 songs on the Not Your First EP and This Rock album, playing 11 of them tonight, though sadly not two of my particular favourites “Your Younger Self” and “Axe to Grind,” but were an absolute inspiration. A joy to see and hear. I’ve followed wonderful Jill ever since I saw her playing bass with Alex Nielson and Alasdair Roberts in the superb Bonnie “Prince” Billy tribute project Three Queens in Mourning back in October 2018. If you don’t know their product, check it out, especially for Jill’s absolutely heart-breaking version of “New Partner” that always brings a tear to my eye.

Basically Jill Lorean are the most talented, driven and affecting power trio I can think of on earth these days. Peter and Andy’s relentless, punishing rhythm detail affords the chance for Jill to whoop, skirl, screech and hammer out on point lyrics and the craziest violin, the most perfect you’d heard since Scarlet Rivera on Dylan’s Desire or Vicky Aspinall in The Raincoats. Check out “The Breaking Down” or “Black Dog” that bookended the set and I dare you to tell me I’m wrong. And don’t forget about Jill on guitar; she hammers out those barre chords like Patti Smith, Lesley Woods and PJ Harvey rolled into one devastatingly talented, demonic force of nature. However, don’t dare think they are all about in your face confrontation; there’s plenty of gentle joy to be found, especially in the euphoric, spellbinding “Kneading,” which I suspect may be a tribute to Jill’s grandmother. It has the best bass runs I’ve heard in decades as well as a narrative lyric that should be a mini series.

After the 11 songs, the gig ended. No encore. Just thunderous, spontaneous applause and outpourings of love for an incredible talent. It’s almost impossible to explain just how glad I was to be there and how flattered, honoured, what have you, to chat to Jill afterwards. I hope they become enormous megastars. This band, this album, this show, This Rock; this was perfection. Roll on September 18th and GY!BE at the Barras, with football (TBC) the day before.


Friday, 27 May 2022

Howe Great Thou Art

2017/2018: 44 points; 10th place - El Estafador Gordo

2018/2019: 45 points; 13th place - El Estafador Gordo

2019/2020: 44 points; 13th place – Algarve Broooooth

2020/2021: 45 points; 12th place – Algarve Broooooth

2021/2022: 49 points; 11th place – Nice Guy Eddie

The table above represents the end of season position of Newcastle United at the end of the last 5 seasons since their promotion back to the Premier League in 2016/2017, as well as indicating who was the manager in each of these campaigns. Ostensibly, it reflects a period of relative mid-table security, with hints at improvement in the season just ended, both in terms of points and final position. This, as we know from experience of living through these last 5 years of Newcastle United, is an example of statistical mendacity. While accepting that the league table never lies, rendering spurious all arguments that claim the team was somehow “lucky” to avoid relegation, what cannot be denied is the abominable aesthetics of performances under both Benitez and Bruce. For more than 4 seasons, with the number of exceptions countable on the fingers of one hand, the football played by Newcastle United was sterile, contemptible and cowardly. Possession was ceded as an article of faith, attacking intent was almost entirely absent and, as time went on, the rigid functionalism of Benitez’s ultra-cautious defence-based play was abandoned in favour of the brand of lazy disorganisation that Norwich and Watford specialised in over the last 9 months.

One point I am absolutely clear on is that the takeover of Newcastle United by the House of Saud, under the aegis of that despotic regime’s PIF, was a morally malignant act that has besmirched the history and traditions of my club. Make no mistake, the odious Mike Ashley’s stewardship of Newcastle United had a catastrophic effect on the club’s standing in the game and the level of hatred directed at him by a fanbase whose beloved club was treated with base contempt simply isn’t understood by almost everyone without an emotional investment in the club; that said, he has never executed 81 dissidents in one day, advocated the death penalty for women accused of adultery or the defenestration of gays. For all supporters of Newcastle United who are able to park questions of morality, however troubling it is to do so or, as appears to be the case for the vast majority, who do not appear able to appreciate the ramifications of offering up uncritical support for not just Staveley and the Ruben Brothers, but the scions of the Saudi state, the takeover has been an almost unqualified success. For a start, ignoring the meatheads in fancy dress or the buffoons bevvying on the forecourt, it enabled the departure of arch charlatan Algarve Bruce, which eventually ushered in the arrival of Nice Guy Eddie which, in turn, brought back a sense of fun rather than a miserable duty in supporting NUFC.

Frankly, the fact Newcastle climbed to 11th place and gained 49 points after failing to win until the 15th game, is little short of miraculous especially, and this may be seen as treasonous among the more zealous members of the support, as the early days of Howe’s administration were not promising; nothing showed this more than the Cambridge United FA Cup debacle. After that fiasco, things could only get better and, following the arrivals of Bruno, Targett, Trippier and, to an extent, Wood, not to mention the reveille or renaissance of Fraser, Joelinton, Krafth and Longstaff among others, they did. Once we climbed out of the bottom 3 after beating Everton at SJP on February 8th, we never again sat in a relegation place.

That said, there were still bumps in the road and when we last examined Newcastle’s progress, payaso de mierda: A Close Shave (payaso-de-mierda.blogspot.com), it was on the back of two successive away defeats to Chelsea and Everton, especially when that became 3, after Spurs kicked our arses up and down Tottenham High Road. Having been unaccountably distracted by Rotherham v Sutton in the Football League Trophy final, I didn’t tune into our game until almost half time, when I was elated to see us take the lead courtesy of Schar’s free kick. I’d actually have been better turning over after that, as it was all downhill following that. Mind, as the harbingers of social media doom utterly failed to recognise, Spurs are one hell of a side going forward and we were simply outclassed. Indeed, the 4 games we lost in the last 10 were all away to sides who qualified for the Champions’ League.

So, with 30 games gone, we still only had 31 points, with only two teams below us left to play. The situation wasn’t grim, but it required a certain degree of grit and application to get us to safety. Four successive wins went some way to achieving this and, in retrospect, the first of those over Wolves was of crucial importance, as it reminded the team they could win ugly. File this alongside Villa and Brighton at home; we shaded a dull game by sticking at it. Concentration at the back married to application in midfield and determination up top. The much maligned (generally by me) Chris Wood had his best game for us and his penalty was enough to win the game as Wolves performed on the toothless side of terrible.

Ben and Lucy had missed out on tickets for the Wolves game, but with a bit of help from my mate John in County Kildare, we got them seats for the Leicester game. I took my perch in The Rising Sun in Wallsend with my pal Curly Gary and ended up somewhere near the ceiling at full time. The game itself saw a cracking first half backed up by an excellent use of VAR to award our equaliser, and an utterly woeful second period. Frankly St Maximin was dismal all game which, allied to the fact we offered nothing up top, meant the only solace to be drawn was from our defensive solidity. And then, Willock got on and set up Bruno, at the end of one of the runs of the season, for the winner. The pub went ballistic and, soon after, when I met Ben and a still visibly shaking Lucy in The Bodega, the pub (albeit a different one) was still going ballistic. From then until my journey home, the chants of “Bruno” reverberating around the town showed no sign of diminishing. And why the hell not? He’s a world class player, who has completely bought into the ethos of the club and the positive aspects of the area, creating a mutual adoration society that I can’t recall since the early days of Ginola. Of course, a decent World Cup and he’ll be off to La Liga for £150m, so we’d best enjoy him while we can.

I’ve never been one interested in dodgy streams of games, and I maintained that stance during the Palace game. Despite getting several reliable links from social media, all I saw were zillions of pop-up porn adverts. Hence, with no live domestic coverage, I opted for Sky Sports News and then Match of the Day, being frustrated by minimal coverage on both. What I did see was an assured first half performance, including a long overdue telling contribution from Almiron, and a dull second half with Zaha wasting every piece of good possession Palace achieved. Perhaps the biggest surprise was St Maximin keeping his place ahead of Willock, especially after the dramatic end to the Leicester game. The surreal fact at full time was that Newcastle had clocked up 40 points and 6 successive home wins for the first time since 2004; who on earth expected that state of affairs when we were getting our arses handed to us on a weekly basis under Algarve-Bruce? The Palace game was a tribute to the guts and guile approach of Howe; the Norwich victory was a celebration of Brazilian flair.

43 points and a place in the top half of the table were the ultimate rewards for another scintillating display by Bruno and Joelinton. The latter’s finish for his first goal made me question whether the shambling oaf who appeared to be Lenny from Of Mice and Men in a football kit against the likes of Rochdale, is the same beast that terrorises defences and bites into brilliant tackles these days. His second showed great predatory instincts and Bruno’s immaculate finish was almost wasted on a keeper as inept as Krul. Howe made 4 changes to the side that had eased past Palace, and every single one of them put in a storming performance. In fact, the only NUFC person to have a bad weekend was the predatory misogynist Steve Wallwork, who refused to accept the error of his ways.

Obviously, there are better teams than us, and we lost to them both without scoring in our next couple of games. I didn’t see any of the Liverpool loss as I was playing cricket, but I was almost pleased by the narrow nature of the defeat, even if they scarcely stirred out of second gear. The result showed us two things; just how far we’ve come, as it wasn’t a hammering, and just how far we still have to go, as we couldn’t lay a glove on them. I said at the time Man City wouldn’t be so compassionate, and they weren’t. In the wake of their Madrid nightmare, I predicted they come again, viciously, and trounce us 6-0. In fact, I had no cause to be disappointed in either the score or the performance, despite only seeing the last 20 minutes after Northumberland v Cheshire at South North. I was encouraged by the performance of Sicknote Wilson, though saddened by the late gloss they added to the score by savaging our already dismembered corpse. Man City are in a different stratosphere to us and there’s absolutely no point in crying about such a loss on social media.

If you want to see cryarsing on the net, Arsenal fans do it best of all. They really raised the bar again after this one, seriously suggesting the team be made to walk back to London. You see Arsenal are absolute cowards when it comes down to it, and I’d fancied us to get something from this game, which is why John got me a ticket to accompany him on his last visit to SJP in his 60s. Despite the surprising level of noise generated by 500 Gooners outside The Victoria & Comet, they were silenced from the first whistle onwards. Not only did Newcastle play them off the park throughout the game, but the display by Wor Flags melted the heart of this cynical old curmudgeon. I’ve not heard the ground as loud, proud and defiant as this in years.

And what about those goals? St Maximin’s instinctive lay off to Joelinton, who produced the best cross I’ve seen all season for the opener or Sean’s sublime flick (worthy of a 3-year deal that one) and Bruno’s predatory instinct for the second. Even more delicious than the pre- and post-game bevvies in The Bodega and The Trent. We’ve got some very good players in our squad and working with Eddie Howe is helping them be even better. Benitez scared them and Algarve Bruce indulged them; Eddie works with them to produce a united display of solidarity and belief that is the equal of the fans’ pride off it. I could fall in love with this club all over again you know. I might even get the green and white third kit; not that I’m a fan of Saudi Arabia, but I am a staunch supporter of Hibernian and Irish Republicanism.

Sadly, not everything I hoped for came to pass, as our win over Burnley meant Dirty Leeds stayed up. Don’t get me wrong, I have no affection for a club that Eddie bailed on years back as the job was too big for him and who offloaded Chris Wood onto us. For me, Burnley are the epitome of former Red Wall Labourites turned reactionary racists with small minds in a small town; they won’t be missed. I missed the game as, for no apparent reason, Sky opted against showing it live. The highlights again showed Wilson to be almost the complete Premier League centre forward, if only he could be relied on to remain fit. Wood isn’t, of course, and he’s one of a number of lads who may well be out the door over the summer and, other than Hendrick I guess, they’ll probably go with our best wishes.

The close season offers up the exciting prospect of Newcastle United improving the squad for the second transfer window running; if that comes to pass, then the nightmare of the Ashley Years will truly begin to fade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday, 21 May 2022

Dissociation Football

 The 2021/2022 Northern Alliance season has ended...


It’s a reasonable assumption to make that I write a blog or a report about every single game of football I attend. Well, that is more or less true, especially as I see it as my responsibility to spread the word about the wonderful Northern Alliance, but there are occasions when that doesn’t quite work out. For instance, Newcastle Chemfica Amateurs 0 Newcastle East End 1 on Wednesday 13th April doesn’t merit more of a mention than the final score, as nothing actually happened. Similarly, the last game of the season, when Stobswood beat Burradon & New Fordley 1-0 in the George Dobbins League Cup final at Forest Hall on Wednesday 18th May was so dire it stopped me laughing at Frankfurt’s UEFA League triumph, though the mirth was still there.

Similarly, Newcastle Blue Star’s routine 4-0 win at Cullercoats on Easter Monday morning doesn’t need much deep analysis, other than to say the visitors could have doubled their goal tally with a fraction more composure.  However, I’ll always assess Percy Main games in depth and the last game of this campaign I was present at was the following…

 


For their penultimate game of the 2021/2022 season, Percy Main Amateurs visited Burradon & New Fordley’s temporary base of Action Park, recently the home of sadly defunct Shankhouse FC. As has so often been the case over this benighted campaign, the Main travelled with a scratch squad, decimated by unavailability and further hampered by a litany of niggles, twists and strains that bedevilled half the team for this Easter Monday evening game. However, despite such an unpromising starting point, Percy put in a praiseworthy performance against one of the division’s best footballing sides on a gloriously sunny early evening that rapidly cooled as dusk fell.

Playing uphill and with a low sun directly in their eyes, Percy Main were more than a match for their opponents in the first half an hour. Indeed, a well-organised Main defence, with debutant Mark Nicholson outstanding throughout, ensured that neither keeper was truly tested. Burradon, as could have been expected, lofted many testing balls into the box, but these efforts lacked accuracy. That said, the home side really ought to have taken the lead after 26 minutes when Kai Lane, unmarked in the 6-yard box, seemed a certain scorer when the ball came to him via the foot of the post. Incredibly he skied his shot and PMA breathed again. Soon after the Main’s cause was weakened when Lee Johnson limped off and on 40 minutes, Fordley took the lead. Rambunctious centre back Colin White rose at the back post and sent in a looping header that deceived keeper Matthew Ridley and dropped agonisingly over the line, despite several brave efforts to clear the ball.

In the second half, Percy Main came again and showed that the nucleus of a good team exists amid the raft of injuries. For the first 15 minutes after the break, The Main were well on top and equalised just before the hour. After Kevin Osayi was unnecessarily fouled on the touchline, just past halfway, Billy Walker took a superb, accurate free kick that Dean Deagle headed forcefully home. It was no less than the visitors deserved, but unfortunately New Fordley are a strong and determined side, who came strongly back into it. A contentious foul 30 yards from goal resulted in a free kick that Joe Besford majestically fired home via the underside of the bar on 65 minutes and 5 minutes later Marty Roper made the points safe, reacting quickly to poke home a loose ball in the area.

It was another defeat, but an honourable one. Much credit must be given to the players who made themselves available on an Easter Monday evening and who, without exception, fought nobly for the Villagers’ cause. The season ends with a trip to Wallington on Saturday 24th April. Kick off at scenic Oakwood Park is 2.30pm.

Before that game, I made it to the Northumberland FA Minor Cup final, which saw AFC Newbiggin and Newcastle East End draw 1-1 on a freezing Friday evening at Blue Flames. Cowardice defeated valour and I made for the Metro when the full time whistle blew. Did I miss much? Well, there was no extra time, but the penalty shootout made up for it in terms of length of entertainment, with Newbiggin prevailing 12-11. Congratulations to them, and also to Wallington who sneaked past Percy Main by a margin of 14-0 on the Saturday. After that game, Derek Thompson departed the managerial hot seat at Purvis Park, with Whitley Bay Reserves legend, Gavin Hattrick, stepping into the role for next season. I wasn’t at Wallington, having been drafted into Tynemouth 3s, for whom I made a flamboyant 0 in an 83 run defeat to Annfield Plain 2s in chilly, north west Durham.

Of course, there were still plenty of Alliance games to watch and I set foot in Grounsell Park for the first time in 8 years to see Heaton Stannington A beat champions Stobswood 4-1 in a Division 2 encounter. Ironically, I left just after half time with the Stan, or The Russell Group as they should be called, considering the manager’s educational background, losing by a goal to nil. Chill winds can do that to a spectator, though I showed more fortitude a week later, hanging around until the end of West Moor and Jesmond’s 7-1 trouncing of a foul-mouthed Seaton Burn side, whose number 14 brought the game into disrepute with every  blast of acid invective from his pitiful potty mouth. West Moor’s number 7 was a jewel of a player, scoring a superb hat trick as they ground their oath-edged opponents underfoot.

 


Speaking of oath-edged talk, the former Jesmond side, who were the bane of the Tyneside Amateur League, are now known as Newcastle Independent and have recently been promoted to the top division. I saw their last midweek home game of the season on Wednesday 11th May, when they shaded AFC Newbiggin 3-2 in a thoroughly excellent game of football. Newbiggin, with Jack Cooper and Jay Hornsby in their ranks, look favourites for the D1 title next season, while Newcastle Independent may struggle, certainly on the sidelines, with regular losses to better sides than them.

 


Having already splashed out £30 on next season’s Percy Main season ticket, I will be at as many Alliance games as humanly possible.