Repetitive Stress Idiocy

 

So, the first month of the football season is over, marked by the autumn cessation of billionaires frivolously squandering their embarras des richesses on overpriced trundlers and talentless, theatrical false 8s, 9s or 10s (we’re not talking shoe sizes here) and the 12 days of purgatory that comprise the first International break of 2021/2022, dragging on to the last syllable of recorded time. Unsurprisingly, Newcastle United find themselves in familiar territory: winless, just above the drop zone on goals scored, out the League Cup, misfiring up front and handing out penalties like new fathers used to pass around Café Cremes. We’ve been here before.

The manager continues to: pick the wrong players, adopt incorrect formations, eschew tactics, and talk up a brown streak of premium grade horseshit, while deflecting any blame due to him and the bad bastard who still owns this farcical tragicomedy of a club. Oh yes, we’ve been here before. Every August /September borderline, going back to 2008, we see a kind of annual Civil War breaking out on Barrack Road, especially as the pro-takeover baldy lads were probably hoping that we signed Anjem Choudary rather than Hamza Choudhury, not that we got either. 

The season got underway with a scintillating series of preparatory performances against Doncaster, Rotherham and Burton, showing we’re a force to be reckoned with in the League 1 play-off shakedown. Meanwhile, a dozen no-hopers were let go from the stiffs, plus the has-been quartet of Atsu, Carroll, Muto and Saivet. Interestingly, having contributed precisely nothing during their time on Tyneside, the four of them are still unattached. We’ve been here before, you do realise.  The only money that came in the door was when Le Jeune’s transfer to Alaves became permanent after a year’s loan in Vitoria Gasteiz, where he can count Joselu as a team mate. This was an underwhelming end to the NUFC career of a player who looked like a world beater at times and gave us the most ridiculous point in history with a pair of injury time scrambles at Goodison the other year. In terms of real signings, we finally got Joe Willock on a permanent deal, which is brilliant, but why the hell did it take so long? Lewis Cass is on loan at Port Vale, Kelland Watts at Plymouth Argyle and Matty Longstaff has gone to Aberdeen. Good luck to the lad; he needs to play football and the buffoon in charge of coaching at SJP has made less use of Matty’s talents than a penguin would a harpsichord. As I write, the future generation of Newcastle United stars have just been banjoed 3-0 by Sheffield Wednesday’s Reserves in the Papa John’s Trophy. Tomorrow belongs to us. 

As far as the serious stuff goes, the West Ham game came at the end of a brilliant week off work; I’d been to Rotherham United v Accrington Stanley, had a swell day out for my birthday, then won the NTCL Midweek 3^rd XI title when we beat Ashington Rugby CC and I took 2 wickets. Newcastle United wouldn’t spoil it would they? Well, we’ve been here before and not really would be my answer. I should have been off to Northumberland against Bedfordshire, including members’ tea, when the heavens opened and play was washed out. It left me no choice but to watch Newcastle and, in contrast to the weather, we were treated to a bright opening that culminated in Wilson finishing Saint-Maximin’s delightful cross after less than 5 minutes. Sadly, it didn’t stay that way; Krafth, as ever, was abysmal and Woodman seemed as nervous as Darlow usually is, but we must accept West Ham are more than a decent team and this was a more than decent game. The turning point was the soft award of a penalty that Woodman saved, but had thumped back over him into the net. From then on, we died. However, I’d wager the performance should have been something to build on. 

Of course daring to have a measured opinion inflames the savage breast of the on-line Incels calling for Bruce’s head on a spike as soon as the final whistle is blown, when all that was needed was a bit of tactical tinkering; drop Krafth for Schar, Shelvey for Sean and Almiron for Fraser. These jumpy jack cretins who think that supporting the Taliban’s governance of Afghanistan is a socially progressive move that will help speed up any takeover of Newcastle United, and still boo players taking the knee, need to be weeded out of our support. There is no place for any of them in the ground, or on line. Then again, the cyber conscience of Newcastle United coughed up 1 person to attend the Black Lives Matter rally outside SJP on July 13^th. I’ll leave you to work out who it was; suffice to say his initials don’t both begin with the same letter.

Next up; Villa away, and one of several games where both clubs hold a mutual contempt, bordering on loathing,  for Steve Bruce. It was another game where he bemoaned bad luck that was actually, and unfortunately even, the laws of the game being applied correctly. Lascelles handled for their penalty and Wilson was a couple of millimetres offside. What can you say? The technology is there and has to be used. It still doesn’t explain the outrageous award West Ham benefitted from the week before mind. Then Burnley at home in the Carabao Cup and the third game in a row where claret and blue shirts got the better of us. Attending Ponteland United 1 Seaton Delaval 0, I only saw the highlights of this. Wayne Hennessey made a dick of himself on a Palace players’ night out and seemingly disappeared. Now he’s back to haunt us, pulling off numerous quality saves, including one in the shoot-out and we lose 4-3. Fair play to the 31k who were there; I’d expected it to be a social distancing exercise gone wrong.

Southampton, fresh from an 8-0 hammering of Newport in the cup, were at SJP next.  I was unable to see this, being required to turn out for Tynemouth 3s, at home to Lintz 2s, for whom I sent down an explosive spell of 4-0-21-0 and took a blinding catch at extra cover. Actually, we did win by 6 wickets; Cuddles Sturrock hitting his own maximum, just after Saint-Maximin had scored in injury time, so the handshakes, collection of boundary flags, uprooting of wickets and general tidying up deflected my attention from SJP as, naively assuming it was full time, I smiled at the pair of important wins. Only around 10 minutes later did I learn of Lascelles’s late lunge on Average Armstrong that threw two points away. Never mind the amorality of getting anything after our awful first half showing, this late equaliser hurt far more than it should have. We’re weak and panicky at the back, constantly giving away rash fouls; who on earth knows what’s in store at Old Trafford next time out, for that prancing cheat’s second coming. After that, we’ve Leeds at home and back to back away games at Wolves and Watford. If we get 4 points, I’ll be delighted, but I realistically see a return of 2 or 3 in this next sequence. Probably enough to put some daylight between us and Arsenal though…..

 

The Middle Clasico

 

I had initially intended to blog about David Keenan’s new novel, Monument Maker. However, the fact it is a bookshelf buckling 880 pages in length, means it will take me rather longer to read that I had first anticipated, so instead I return to the topic of groundhopping in my beloved Northern Alliance. This state choice of subject was made possible by the torrential rain that washed out almost all local cricket on Saturday 21 August, leaving me with a perfect opportunity to put a tick against Whickham Under 23s; one of the very few Alliance clubs I’d not yet visited. In this instance, this may have had something to do with the fact it was their debut home game, having only formed in the summer.

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit the presence between the sticks of Martin Young, one of that great triumvirate of August 11^th born keepers, including Nigel Martyn and me, wasn’t a crucial factor in sending me to Gateshead’s loveliest suburb for the second time in a fortnight, after my trip to Whickham 2 Consett 3 in the FA Cup. That game was a brilliant spectacle and probably the first decent encounter I’ve ever seen at The Glebe. However, Whickham first team were away to Bishop Auckland, from where they returned with 3 points, and today’s game, against former Tyneside Amateur League stalwarts Gosforth Bohemians Reserves, was a Northern Alliance Division 3 encounter, ostensibly to be played at Whickham School. Whickham against Gosforth; El Clásico Medio, perhaps.

Regular readers will be aware of my constant problems with navigational issues, on account of being unable to read a map or follow directions. After consulting the Go North East journey planner, I opted for the 97 bus from outside the Central, despite its circuitous route from the Metro Centre via scenic Bleach Green, as it is the only bus from town that goes down Fellside Road. The others use Whaggs Lane, which is great for The Glebe, but not much use for where I was going. In the event, the 97 dropped me at the side of the pitch on the corner of Fellside Road and Parklands where the game took place. It appears that Whickham School is merely the location of the changing facilities, as the 3G pitch I’d imagined would be hosting the game, is one of the very early models of artificial turf and no longer sanctioned for competitive use.

Certainly, the pitch where the game took place has a more bucolic air than a cage in a secondary school can ever have. Parklands is an unenclosed public pitch, but because of its location in leafy NE16, it is hardly likely to suffer the usual misfortunes associated with such playing fields, as your average Whickham resident isn’t the kind of chump who allows their dog to defecate indiscriminately across the turf, nor permits their offspring to own a motorcycle, much less ride one on any grass surface.  Then again, if you live in one of the big gaffes on Millfield Road, your back garden will be twice the size of a football pitch to start with, so if you’re inclined, you can have a speedway trick installed, to impress all the 2-wheeler Brexiteers out there.

Anyway, from the first whistle, Whickham were all over the visitors, which I’d half expected, having seen Bohs shade a quite awful contest against Blaydon down the bottom of the bank, opposite the graveyard where my old fella is at rest, at the end of last season. The home side had some stand out performers; the speedy number 7, the agile and powerful centre forward wearing 9 and a glorious passer, blessed with a whole bag of tricks on the wing, at 11. However, they just couldn’t score, as Bohs threw all hands to the pump to repel them. Martin was called into action after 20 minutes to superbly tip over the first effort from the visitors. The subsequent corner saw a penalty given for handball after a shot was struck straight at a Whickham defender. A bit harsh, but I could understand it and, almost unbelievably, Bohs were ahead when the spot kick was slotted home.

Whickham took a short period of time to regroup, but when they came again, their superior pace, skill and passing paid off. On 35 minutes, a good passing move saw the number 5 sweep the ball home after taking a perfect return pass. This remained the score at the break, but it was only a matter of time before Whickham wrapped things up, as the second period followed a similar pattern to the first. Two smart finishes on 55 and 58 crowned a pair of intricate passing moves, effectively ending the game as a contest and allowing Whickham to empty the bench. A late, fourth goal after a superb run from halfway, put the tin hat on proceedings and made the trip out a thoroughly worthwhile one, if only for Martin’s save for the smart phones as the clock wound down. 

The following Wednesday, I reduced my hit list to 1 of required Alliance grounds, specifically Bedlington United at Blyth Sporting Club, after a trip to Ponteland United’s current temporary home at what is presently referred to as called Ponteland Middle School, even if the said august institution has been recently reduced to a large pile of bricks. It’s almost ironic that in the most expensive area of Newcastle for real estate, eclipsing even the most exclusive nooks of Gosforth and desirable crannies of Jesmond, that there are innumerable acres devoted to the greater public good. Encompassing what, until a few years ago, was the old leisure centre, rugby club, football ground and the various schools, is a massive development combining all the educational and sporting facilities an affluent commuter village could wish for. It is particularly gratifying for this old romantic to know that the square at Ponteland Cricket Club didn’t move a millimetre during all the recent renovation, demolition and construction.

Eventually, Ponteland United will play on a ground designed for step 6 (Northern League Division 2 standard) football, but until then, one of the old high school’s pitches has been tamed and turned into a carbon copy of their original home; a huge, flat and well-grassed pitch, with absolutely no facilities to boast of, enclosed by a plain wooden fence of about 8 feet in height. This being Ponteland, graffiti and vandalism isn’t an issue, though on this particular evening, bad language was. My companion, chauffeur and local resident Graham, pointed out that people don’t pay £400k for a house to hear the language of the snooker hall for 2 hours solid. Except that they did, as Pont and visitors Seaton Delaval went through a muscular, committed game that was settled in the home side’s favour by an unfortunate headed own goal on the half hour. For most of the contest perspiration held a chokehold over inspiration, but it was such gritted-teeth doggedness that saw Ponteland home. Perhaps, when I return to their new ground, glamorous surroundings will lead to more glamorous football. Still, it could have been worse; we could have been watching Brucebollocks at SJP.

 

 

Covering New Ground

 I've just recompleted my Northern League set....

West Allotment Celtic: East Palmersville Pavilion

There are certain local non-league clubs for whom I’ve always had the greatest affection: Dunston Fed and Whitley Bay for instance. Another team I’d include among that select band are West Allotment Celtic; partly because of their indomitable spirit in keeping going against seemingly insurmountable odds and partly because of their deserved reputation for playing the game in the right way and in the right spirit.

The latter was exemplified during their early years in the Northern League when, after years of dominance in the Northern Alliance, Terry Mitchell, now in charge at Consett of course, fashioned a side blessed with lightning pace, superb ball to feet movement and an unbreakable team spirit. The gifted Cumbrian winger Dean Douglas encapsulated all these qualities and was a joy to watch. However, alongside the on-field triumphs came administrative headaches by the hundredweight. Having left their original home, the Farm Ground, WAC used Backworth Welfare for a few years. In January 1994 they hosted Newcastle United (Malcolm Allen, Liam O’Brien and Nicos Papavasiliou included) in a Northumberland Senior Cup game. They lost 3-0, as could be expected, but the real story, as so wonderfully retold in Harry Pearson’s seminal The Far Corner, was of the pampered, Premier League parvenus travelling by coach from the changers to the pitch. That, and the fact the lack of lights meant the game kicked off at 1.30pm, showed the rustic charms of Backworth Welfare were sadly unsuited to the Northern League.

Within a decade, having firstly groundshared with Whitley Bay at Hillheads, Allotment were in the top flight of the Northern League, after signing a lease on Whitley Park in Benton, informally known as Blue Flames on account of its former status as the British Gas recreational facility. Having played both football and cricket on the bottom pitches at this complex, I can confirm the outfield is better than many squares I’ve come across and the turf flatter and truer than any 4G surface I know. As tenants of Blue Flames Social Club, Allotment made zero income from bar and food sales, only taking what they managed in gate money and from programme sales. Generally edited by the wonderfully erudite Stephen Allott, I always availed myself of a match day magazine that was replete with interesting articles from the whole world of football.

WAC often played home games on Friday nights, hoovering up fans of other clubs at a loose end and wishing to see the grassroots game, which was played to an accompanying soundtrack of cheesy 70s disco, leaking through the open upstairs windows from birthday parties held in the lounge of the social club. Around this time, the Northumberland FA had moved into a suite of offices there and, as part of the deal, Whitley Park became host for all county cup finals, bar the Senior Cup that was still held at SJP, as well as county representative games at junior and senior level. This was no great imposition on Allotment, but the ominous presence of Newcastle United, whose Darsley Park training ground adjoins Blue Flames, signalled the death knell for WAC’s tenure at Whitley Park. I don’t have a full understanding of the labyrinthine structure of U23 football in the professional ranks, but suffice to say, NUFC were keen to play half their home games at SJP and the other half at Blue Flames. Having built a covered shed behind the far goal and upgraded the lights to broadcast standards, they demanded primacy because of cash investment in the fabric of the place and insisted Blue Flames “renegotiate” WAC’s lease on less favourable terms. It was a no-brainer; the club either found a new ground or died.

Out of sheer desperation, the club moved to Druid Park. Once known as the Wheatsheaf Ground, where Newcastle Blue Star played for years in the Wearside and then Northern Leagues, it had been upgraded with lottery money, only for NBS to vacate it for Kingston Park in a doomed bid to compete in the Northern Premier League. Druid Park, with the darkest 4G surface you’ve ever seen, was home to Newcastle University women’s Rugby League team and just about nobody else. Initially it seemed a marriage of convenience that just might work, but one forgets just how far out of town Callerton Parkway is. Crowds were terrible; I went to their first home game in September 2017 and was shocked to see only 40 other souls dotted around the place. It got no better either and I was not surprised to learn in late 2020 that WAC and Forest Hall were merging, to play at a vastly upgraded East Palmersville Pavilion. Typically, COVID got in the way and the curtailment of 20/21 on the back of 19/20 (two campaigns when Allotment were streaking away towards promotion of course) meant the new ground wasn’t up and running until pre-season 21/22.

A friendly against Northern League Division 2 side Newcastle University on July 17^th caught my attention and I cycled up after work, stopping off in the local ALDI for a bottle of water and a sandwich.  I’ve been to this ground before, watching both Forest Hall’s Alliance side and a short-lived reserve team that played in the Tyneside Amateur League on separate occasions, but that was a while ago. Now, the main pitch has been made immaculate by Jacka, Tynemouth CC’s groundsman and peripatetic surface maintenance expert and the whole ground brought up to scratch by the installation of floodlights, not that they were needed on a mid-July Wednesday evening, two small seated stands on the top touchline and a covered standing shed behind one goal. There is still a second pitch, though the Alliance team, now called Forest Hall Celtic, will share the main one with WAC. Sadly, the famed West Allotment Celtic Match Day Command Centre at Blue Flames has been downgraded to a Portakabin, prosaically named The Office. Cloth being cut according to means I’d wager.  The whole site is protected by vandal proof green metal fencing, that also affords a free and unhindered view of the pitch, as enjoyed by a couple of residents of the adjoining retirement bungalows, pints in hand. Beer, hot drinks and food are available from the eponymous East Palmersville Pavilion, which is also on site, next to the 6-a-side 4G pitch that rakes in a few bob. A few fellas I know play there every Friday night, so the place does get used.

Entering the ground, it was the usual delight to see the Northern Alliance’s superstar officials Keith Scoffham and Barry Sweeney; I can’t imagine any other setting whereby linesmen are applauded onto the pitch, except when these lads are about. It was also good to see the West Allotment committee still in good order, though their venerable ages mean I’m often minded of the line from And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda that remarks year after year, their numbers get fewer; soon there’ll be no-one to march there at all.  I sincerely hope this isn’t the case as the club have performed miracles to get to this point and, they’ve got their best side, now rightfully promoted back to the top flight of the Northern League, since Terry Mitchell’s 2003 outfit. Even Jack Errington looks composed, committed and up for the challenge.

 The game began at a good lick, almost as if the players were making up for all the lost time when they couldn’t play. As with any game involving the University, there was the jarring sensation when local accents of the home players were contrasted with the far flung speech patterns of the visitors. It was the University, having spent 15 minutes on the back foot, who opened the scoring when a loose ball out from the back was returned with craft and guile from 35 yards, leaving the home keeper Finn Hodgson a detached observer. However, this Allotment side are full of running and intent; they equalised within 5 minutes with a close range finish after a fluent passing move. Both sides kept up their hard running, quick passing, high tempo approach until the break, by which time WAC had taken the lead with a towering header from a corner.

After the interval, heat, fitness and earlier exertions took their toll as the pace visibly slowed. Allotment made the game safe with a clever, curling finish from the edge of the box. As the whistle blew, I reflected on a good game, in good company and pleasant surroundings. No doubt I’ll be back here this season several times.

Redcar Town: Vitality Doors Mo Mowlam Stadium

Taking a flyer from work, I caught the Metro into town and then the Northern Rail 17.42 to Liverpool. Just as we pulled into Chester le Street, an alert on my phone told me Durham had knocked off the required 281 to beat Surrey in the Royal London Cup semi-final. As a reward, they faced Glamorgan in the final; not at Lords on the second Saturday in September, as is traditional, but at Trent Bridge on the Thursday, two whole days later. Meanwhile The Hundred staggers on, like a Championship relegation battle IPL, as the England test team disintegrates and the rest of the domestic game gets shoved to the back of the pantry like so many tins of unpalatable comestibles, bought on a whim at knockdown prices from a budget mini mart.

Anyway, I changed at Darlo for the rattler down to Redcar, which stopped at two of the least used stations on the entire British Rail network; Teesside Airport, isolated and ignored in some farmer’s field at the end of a runway, and Redcar British Steel, still extant in an eerie, post-apocalyptic alien landscape, devoid of humanity. Nobody got on and nobody got off at either halt, but the train still arrived on time, which is more than could be said of me, which is usual in these parts. You see the last time I found myself in Redcar was to see Redcar Athletic hand out an 8-0 coating to Brandon United. Unfortunately, my utter inability to read maps meant I didn’t get to the ground, despite relying on my phone’s sat nav, until the home side were 2-0 ahead. It wasn’t as bad as that tonight, but I did initially read the map the wrong way up, resulting in a short, circuitous detour through housing near Redcar Central train station, before getting on the right road out of town, past the College, the local park and rows of substantial pre-war semis, arriving at my destination as the teams came out.

Both Redcar Town and Horden Community Welfare are new to the Northern League, having been promoted at the end of last season from the North Riding and Wearside Leagues respectively. They are also fairly new clubs, with Redcar spending a few decades as a Junior set up before launching a Senior Men’s team as recently as 2014, while Horden CW formed in 2017, after the demise of their predecessor outfit, Horden Colliery Welfare, also in 2014. Horden play at the capacious and venerable Welfare Park, nestled in amongst tight rows of terracing at the bottom of town, on the way to the reopened train station and the vast, grey North Sea. Redcar Town’s Mo Mowlam Memorial Park (aka the Vitality Doors Stadium) is a newer, work-in-progress affair. At the moment the ground, named after the town’s late MP, best known for her stint as Northern Ireland Secretary during the first Blair administration, is on the tidy side of basic. There are floodlights, a tiny covered shed at the corner by the entrance and the foundations for a covered stand that looks like it will be bolted to the front of the roomy and welcoming clubhouse. I didn’t get any food tonight, but the local mosquitos and midges made a meal of me, to the extent I was massaging in ointment and swallowing antihistamines ten minutes into the game. It’s not often I say this, but if I ever go back it will be in winter, when the insects are all asleep or dead.

Around ten minutes in, after a series of early exchanges, there was a lengthy stoppage as the Redcar number 9 injured his ankle in a seemingly innocuous fall. His screams of agony told of the level of pain he was enduring. Having been helped from the pitch, he lay prone beyond the touchline until an ambulance arrived about an hour later. Following this injury, the game became a largely subdued affair with little penetration for the first 30 minutes. Horden twice had the ball in the net, but both were correctly ruled out for offside, though the growing dominance enjoyed by the visitors seemed certain to bring reward and so it did on 39 minutes, when an eye-catching outside of the foot through ball left the home defence flatfooted, allowing Liam Dunn to convert with some style.

It was a deserved lead, but it could have been erased seconds later when Redcar smacked the upright with a towering header from a corner. It wasn’t to be and the score remained 0-1 at the break. So it did when I departed on 80 minutes, determined not to miss my train and so it did at full time. I was informed of this by John Dawson, King of the Groundhoppers, who arrived at Redcar Central just as the train did. I caught it and merrily scratched my insect bites on forearms and exposed leg, until we arrived at Central, musing how pleasantly surprised I was to see how well Horden were adjusting to the higher standard of football, as well as how Redcar needed to display both patience and guile if they wished to breach defences at this level.  

Sunderland West End: Ford Hub Sports Complex

After Tuesday night’s fun down in Redcar, I was itching for more. That may just have been the aftermath of the insect bites, but it was enough to keep me off the sofa and out the house, ready to recomplete my whole Northern League set with a trip to Sunderland West End versus Tow Law Town. It was only once I got on the Metro that I realised the enormity of my 26-stop odyssey to deepest, darkest South Hylton; literally, the end of the line. I’d been here before, back in West End’s Wearside League days for a cup final on a blustery May Day against Redcar Athletic and I’d remember just what a hike it was to the ground. However, that was for an 11.00 kick off not 7.45, so I’d not noticed most of the journey was without any form of street lighting (columns and lanterns as my old fella used to call them); the thought of trying to scrabble my way back in the dark was unappealing to say the least. That’s why I was delighted to see Gav and Glenn from Ashington, as they promised to give me a lift to Pallion Metro at full time, fending off the inevitable broken ankle a return trip on foot would have involved.

On my previous visit, this place was still known as Ford Quarry; a set of windswept pitches on top of a spit of land at the edge of a vast chasm, hewn from the rocks of the real Wear Valley. It was the northern fringe of what was the huge and hideous Pennywell Estate, near where Wearside Jack Humble had scribbled with his poisonous pen and recorded his bilious hoaxes on top of stolen Andrew Gold cassette singles that had sent George Oldfield mad and to an early grave, to meet Barbara Leach, Marguerite Walls and Jacqueline Hill whose deaths were enabled by Humble’s handiwork.

Sunderland West End played on a north south railed pitch with zero other facilities. Once promotion to the Northern League was assured, they decamped to Nissan, to groundshare with Washington, to allow for the construction of the Ford Hub. Now the complex is complete, boasting 3 or 4 floodlit 4G pitches, Washington share these facilities. As is always the case with such grounds, more pleasure can be found by those training or playing than the average spectator. Clean and bright though the Ford Hub is, I’ll not be in a hurry to get back. Partly that was to do with the palaver involved trying to effect entrance past the Checkpoint Charlie style front desk security. Once you’ve got in, you still have to pay when you get to a separate turnstile by the pitch. Either that or save yourself a fiver and watch it through the fence for free.

The game attracted a crowd of 92 to the three-sided, windy complex. Tow Law, attired not in their traditional black and white but rather in an apologetic dark blue and white number like an anaemic West Brom top, were beyond awful, offering absolutely nothing and creating less throughout the game. West End weren’t much better, insisting on belting the ball forward as high and hard as they could manage, almost as a gesture of contempt to the perfect 4G pitch beneath their feet. That said, they scored 3 unanswered goals; a tap in and a 20-yard curler in the first half and a very late and very soft penalty after the break. So much for aesthetics eh?

Well, that’s the Northern League up to date; now my attention turns to Bedlington Sporting, Ponteland and Whickham U23s, which I need to mop up the Alliance. It’s a hard life, but someone has to do it.

 

 

Bronx Cheer

My birthday treat was a trip to Rotherham United v Accrington Stanley

One of the greatest benefits of working in the Further Education sector was the frankly outrageous summer holiday entitlement. Though not as generous as school teachers’ annual leave, the 5 weeks paid vacation in July and August gave one more than enough time to recharge the batteries. Nowadays, while in normal employment, the shorter allocation of time off is probably even more cherished because of its brevity. With my birthday falling on August 11th, I always take off the week in which it falls, which meant finishing on Friday 6th and heading straight to Whickham against Consett in the FA Cup Extra Preliminary Round at the Glebe Ground. I arrived in the nicest bit of Gateshead with time to spare, so I hit the One Eyed Stag micropub on the main drag, where I enjoyed two fabulous pints of Two By Two Simcoe at only £3.60 a go; absolute nectar and then the game, enjoyed in the company of Harry Pearson and Joris Van de Wier, was utterly superb. Two footballing sides going at it, end to end, from first whistle until the last; keeping the ball on the deck, utilising flicks and short passing. After twice being behind, Consett got themselves level and won it 3-2 in the last couple of minutes. If only all football was as good as this game.

Saturday was forecast to be a complete washout, which meant I’d made tentative plans to take in Whitley Bay against North Ferriby, with View from the Allotment End editor Matt Kempson. Surprisingly, it stayed dry and so I was in situ for the whole of Tynemouth’s loss to Chester le Street by 42 runs. Thankfully, after a 1-1 draw at Hillheads, Matt came to visit me and saw the dying embers of the cricket, as well as picking up a couple of copies of glove #8. Unfortunately, because I’m stupid, I didn’t realise I’d left 4 tickets for Durham’s 50-over game against Essex on the Sunday inside one of the fanzines. Matt pointed this out to me as soon as he realised. Unfortunately, this was not until he got home. Never mind eh? At least they were freebies, so I didn’t lose anything, and, more importantly, Durham won without my patronage.

As you’ve probably realised, my week off was developing a strong sporting theme. Obviously, there was my regular game of 6-a-side on Monday to enjoy, but also, I’d decided it was time to go out into the wide world again and ground hop. My initial plan was to do two Carabao Cup games at previously unvisited Football League grounds on successive nights. I quickly identified Birmingham City against Colchester United and Burton Albion’s clash with Oxford United as the ideal choices, mainly because I’d already decided my blog about the trip would be called Brum and Bass. No sooner had I start planning trains, accommodation, and tickets than news came of a rescheduled Tynemouth Midweek XI fixture. If we went to Ashington Rugby CC on Thursday 12th and won, we’d be champions. As a result, I decided I couldn’t do two nights away and, instead, began looking for a day trip. 

The obvious choice was Rotherham United against Accrington Stanley. This wasn’t my first visit to The Millers, as I’d twice visited their former ground of Millmoor, firstly for a 5-1 win by Newcastle United in September 1982, in a transit van full of loonies, driven by a psychopath who drank a full bottle of Beefeater gin, neat, on the way down and got us into a potential battle with a load of Leeds United psychos in a pub in York afterwards, resulting in my sharp exit to jump a 125 back to the Central. Secondly, for a 3-3 draw with Maidstone United in September 1991, with my friend David Brewster from University, who I lost touch with in 1996 and who I recently learned had passed away at Easter this year. RIP Dave.

While Millmoor still stands and hosts youth football, Rotherham have not played there since 2012, when they moved into the New York Stadium, on the other side of the River Don and railway line from their former home. Having secured a match brief for £13 after registering on the web site and booked a reasonably priced train ticket, I headed off on Tuesday afternoon, arriving in Rotherham about 17.30, following an uneventful journey. Frankly, as a town, Rotherham has little to recommend it, though it isn’t unpleasant either, being relatively untainted by hideous concrete monstrosities. No doubt the proximity of the hideous Meadowhall shopping complex explains the lack of any real shops in Rotherham town centre. Either that or the endemic poverty. Anyway, I managed to waste an hour in aimless wandering before heading to the ground.

The New York Stadium is one of my favourite of the new grounds I’ve been to, and I’m fully aware I need to visit another dozen of them (Brentford, Brighton, Cardiff, Coventry, Man City, Millwall, Oxford, Shrewsbury, Spurs, Stoke, Swansea and West Ham, if you’re interested). It reminds me of a smaller, more compact Doncaster Rovers. The tight corners keep the sound in to create a decent atmosphere, even with a paltry 3,131 in the ground, including a couple of hundred over from Lancashire. Thankfully I’ve got an aisle seat, so I’m unlikely to get anxious and can enjoy a 1998 era playlist of Brimful of Asha followed by Right Here, Right Now, rather more than the deplorable body odour from the stereotypical Yorkshire bloke in a nylon polo shirt to my right. 

The Rotherham team includes a couple of familiar names; ex-NUFC players Dan Barlaser, who has an utterly anonymous first half before being hooked at the break, and Shane Ferguson, who is as timid and ineffective as he ever was. The game, seemingly typical of most contests at this stage of the competition, is tame to the point of somnolence, until Accrington take the lead on 37 minutes. Dion Charles got on the end of a long punt forward, did a little shimmy in the box, before finishing strongly across the keeper and into the bottom corner. On the balance of play, it was deserved.

In the second period, Accrington continue to look the better team, but don’t appear that keen on increasing their lead. They have an organised high press and seem intent on slowing the game down, frustrating the home team and fans. It gets worse when the Millers bring on Smith for Ladapo up top, when strongarm tactics become the order of the day, to the extent of incurring 2 bookings for scything challenges in 45 seconds. From the second of these assaults, Sadlier fires in a glorious free kick from fully 30 yards on 75 minutes, which totally changes the dynamic of the game. Both sides go for it, and we have 10 minutes of end to end mania. Just as I’m checking later trains back, Stanley pinch it.  On 86 minutes, Viktor Johansson palmed a shot straight up in the air and Colby Bishop nodded the loose ball home.

Cue a Stadium of Light style fire drill as the ground empties to a chorus of grumbles. The whistle goes in an almost empty bowl and I head up back to the station to catch an earlier train, containing a smattering of Blades, celebrating their 1-0 win over Carlisle by singing the Greasy Chip Butty song in a desultory manner. I change at Doncaster and turn 57 just south of Darlington. An hour later I’m asleep in bed after a damn fine day out.

Oh, just to say we beat Ashington Rugby CC by 7 wickets on the Thursday and so are the champions. Modesty prevents me mentioning my 2-25.

2020/2021 Football Fanzine CV

 

And year after year, their numbers get fewer… 

Hopeless Football Romantic #9: Curious Orange, my love affair with Luton town’s 1974/1975 shirt.

Hopeless Football Romantic #10: Cornering, a comparison of The Far Corner and The Farther Corner by Harry Pearson.

View #3: Racist Friends, an expose of racist attitudes in the Northern League

View from the Allotment End #16: The Wettest Corner, watching Northern Alliance games with Harry Pearson.

View from the Allotment End #17: Taking the Knee, an article in favour of this.

Immaculate Consumption

 Books & music......

BOOKS:

These last few months have seen some of the big hitters back in print; with David Keenan’s Monument Maker due out in the next couple of weeks, it really has been the summer of the unreliable narrator. I’ve worked my way through some hellish fiction, in order of preference: David Peace’s Tokyo Redux, Roddy Doyle’s Love and James Ellroy’s Widespread Panic, not to mention the first and probably definitive scholarly analysis of The Fall and their world, Excavate, edited by Tessa Norton and Bob Stanley.

On a personal level, the excitement of knowing a new David Peace novel is imminent is amplified by the sight of my own name in the acknowledgements section; humbled rather than flattered is the emotion. Only then do I begin to consider the work in front of me. By work I mean both the book itself, and the labours David has put into it, as well as the effort of concentration and cultural familiarisation, whether it be the geography of West Yorkshire, the results of Liverpool FC in the early 1960s or the commuter railway network of the greater Tokyo region, required to fully appreciate the world David has depicted. 

Tokyo Redux, the final instalment of David’s eponymous trilogy, despite the use of three chronological protagonists, each blessed and cursed with parallel synchronous and asynchronous narratives, is the most straightforward of his books since The Damned United.  As well as a more straightforward plot, the use of language is again reduced from boiling point to a gentle simmering. While there is still a degree of hallucinatory repetition and rhyme to the prose, it feels less of an incantation than in other novels, such as GB84 or RED NOT DEAD and more of an attempt to convey the sound of things, feelings, even ideas. Thus, ton-ton is the lexical sound of construction for the 64 Olympics, while trains say shu-shu pop-po. 

As with the earlier two instalments, Tokyo Year Zero (2007) and Occupied City (2009), a corrupt cast of detectives, politicians, gangsters, geishas and seedy, drunken expats, both military and civilian, populate these novels. It could be Graham Greene’s Havana or James Ellroy’s Vietnam, where the past is a maelstrom of sex, violence and alcohol bordering perilously on anarchy. The crimes each novel is plotted around are real occurrences from post war Tokyo, acting as metaphors for the haunting of a city in search of a new identity, a tension that imbues everything with “the stench of the past, the noise of the future.”

Tokyo Redux concerns the “Shimoyama incident;” the death of Shimoyama Sadanori, the first head of JNR (Japanese National Railways), whose body was found dismembered by a locomotive in 1949. It’s the perfect mystery. Shimoyama’s sacking of 30,000 workers made him a target for the unions, providing David with the perfect excuse to explore industrial espionage, as he did in his savage dissection of the NUM in GB84. Connections with the 1948 Teigin poisonings central to Occupied City are hinted at, but this is David in straightforward (for him) narrative territory and we aren’t led away and astray into a labyrinth of plot interpolations and red herrings, even though we don’t actually learn what really happened to Shimoyama, for reasons linked to the fact the case remains unsolved to this day. 

Always keeping this unsolved death firmly in mind, the narrative is told in three periods: 1949, during the occupation, 1964, as Tokyo hosts the Olympics and 1989, as Emperor Showa approaches death. Each period has its own protagonist: first, Harry Sweeney, a disturbed cop from Montana; then Murota Hideki, a wisecracking, boozehound private dick who got 86ed from the Tokyo force for chasing high class poon. Both are recognisable tropes, ideal for progressing the story while remaining the kind of nourish, rugged outsiders who take neither shit nor prisoners. The final vehicle for truth is a less stereotypical creation; Donald Reichenbach a detached and debauched literary genius, reduced to eking a living as a hack translator. He responsibility for the murder of a character upset me more than any death in David’s books since Eddie Dunford’s demise in 1974.

As in Occupied City, Tokyo Redux ascends from the workaday routines of jaded cops and arrogant gangsters into a world of government intrigue and black bag conspiracies. Although you don’t need to have read the first two books to enjoy Tokyo Redux, it lands harder if you have.

Roddy Doyle used to write novels that were abrupt, brief, vibrant and funny. Love is rambling, long, heavy-going and more likely to make you smile than laugh. There was a lively sense of expectancy, of a world that might open up, in his early fiction, but now there’s not much to look forward to, as the world has shrunk and the horizon is not far distant. Another way of putting this is to say that his later novels, including Love, are based on experience. This honesty may be bleak, but it rings true.

The protagonists, Joe and Davy, go on a crawl to a succession of Dublin pubs, mainly on account of the fact they both have something to reveal, though Davy is reluctant to say what this is in his case. They are old friends from boyhood, now with sixty in sight. Joe has remained in Dublin, Davy moved to England. Both are married. Davy returns to see his father, though his relations with him have always been semi-detached in a setting of shared grief at the early death of Davy’s mother. As old friends, over the first pints they hark back to their youth, their first experience of pub life and adult freedom. They remember with special fondness a pub they knew as George’s, which was the first place where they felt fully accepted as grown-ups. There was a girl there both fancied, without knowing much about her except that she played the cello and was called Jessica.

Joe is endlessly eager to share his secret, though he can’t come at it straight. Yet it’s all he wants to talk about; it’s the only thing on his mind, so that it’s not clear whether he is proud and happy or ashamed. He may be all three. The fact is he has met Jessica again, at a parents-teachers evening, and she kissed him on the cheek while his wife Trish is in another classroom. They exchange telephone numbers, though Joe, suddenly forgetting her name, puts George against the number on the screen. Davy questions Joe sharply, repeatedly, tiresomely. Has Joe really left Trish? Despite everything? And he goes back, again and again, over his own marriage with Faye. And that, for much of the novel, is that.

They go from pub to pub, drinking pint after pint as they did when they were young, but with none of the exuberance of youth, as Davy questions Joe about the reality of his love for Jessica and the guilt he feels about Trish. There’s a sharp edge to the friendship, a touch of jealousy, as they go on and on and round and round. Reading the novel is for long periods like being trapped in the company of two pub bores; an experience unrelieved by any wit or imaginative flight. And yet, so much rings sadly true in their narrow world, and Doyle is so adept a writer that he holds your attention, and this is rewarded by the surprise he brings off in the last fifty or so pages, a surprise that changes the mood of the novel and invites you to reconsider what has gone before.

There are echoes of Beckett throughout, and as with Godot, it’s strangely exhilarating, as  there are sentences that would surely have had Beckett giving a mournful smile of recognition, even approval. For example: “He lifted both shoulders and extended his arms. Like a half-hearted Jesus on a cross built for a smaller man.” It takes courage for a novelist to demand you pay attention to bores. It takes rare talent to make this, first, acceptable, then weirdly enjoyable.

Stepping away from his Second LA Quartet after 2018’s This Storm, James Ellroy has presented us with Widespread Panic; the “confession” of Freddy Otash, who is both a historical figure and a mainstay of Ellroy’s body of work, which has always embraced the unreliable narrator’s approach to historical record. Both the real and fictional Otash were an LA cop of questionable professional probity turned enforcer and fixer for Confidential magazine, then, eventually, a private detective. The real Otash died in 1992. The fictional one is speaking to us posthumously from “Cell 2607, Penance Penitentiary, Reckless-Wrecker-of-Lives Block, Pervert Purgatory,” from where, he tells us, he has spent the twenty-eight years since his death. In Widespread Panic Freddy narrates the decade of his life from the tail end of the 1940s to 1960. He extorts, intimidates, eavesdrops and scams his way to being the sleaze king of Hollywood (or “Hollyweird” as the book calls it). There is a lot of sleaze about. Were Marlon Brando (fellatio artiste extraordinaire), James Dean (a human ash tray), Orson Welles (bestiality addict), Natalie Wood (nymphomaniac), Elizabeth Taylor (Sapphic pill popper) and any number of other stars of the silver screen still alive, they would eat Ellroy for breakfast.

Confidential, in this account, reaches its tentacles into everything. Blackmail, erotic surveillance, transactional sex, violence as spectacle, McCarthyism and the Red Scare, the work of Confidential, the power of the studio system and the interests of the police all tangle in this narrative. There are superb depictions of A-bomb parties; debauched shindigs where the glitterati gather on the roofs of their Beverly Hills bungalows to drink and pop pills with distant nuclear tests standing in for fireworks.

The odd thing about Freddy is that, despite his casual propensity for fitting up scapegoats, plunging hands into deep fat fryers and cheerfully socking out citizens’ teeth by way of greeting, he is a romantic. He falls in love at the drop of a hat (and also falls into bed at the sight of one). Not that it does him much good.

Widespread Panic, like the pulpiest of pulp fiction early slasher trash novel Silent Terror, is a palate cleanser for Ellroy; something light and almost humorous, which hints when the Devil Dog reacquaints us with The Second LA Quartet, we’ll be heading to some dark corners of his mind.

Jokes are pretty thin on the ground in Excavate, although the assertion made in the preface by co-editors Bob Stanley and Tessa Norton that this book is not about a rock band. This is not even about Mark E Smith. The book is for Mark E Smith more than it is about him had me roaring with laughter. Smith would have hated this book which, after everything I’d read and learned about him post mortem, is a pretty good sign Excavate is worth reading, even if, like many Fall gigs and albums, it isn’t a case of enjoying it, but learning things or getting very angry indeed.

As a kind of vade mecum for readers both casual and obsessive, The Fall’s album covers are printed in chronological order from Live at the Witch Trials to New Facts Emerge. It’s fascinating to look at the early, good ones: Hex Enduction Hour with the scribbled annotations, the grotesque images on Perverted by Language and, well, the grotesque images on Grotesque. A chronological diary of events in the career of the Fall is also included, as well as typed and handwritten song lyrics and letters, flyers and posters and even Christmas cards that Smith sent to friends. Across 360 pages, Excavate‘s array of essays provide the brain food to the pictorial eye candy. It’s a lovely, lavish volume, half-way between a coffee table scrapbook and an über high-end fanzine, if you count Blast as a fanzine.

Like any fanzine, this means the contents are, effectively, a mixture of the compelling, the pretentious and the crap. The central theme, which I’m taking as the definitive line Stanley and Norton are pushing, is most clearly spelt out in Norton’s essay Paperback Shamanism, which contends that The Fall were the sum of an entire wide, messy web of influences and inputs, not unlike an alternative educational curriculum, each element of which can be isolated and considered. Hence fellow co-editor Bob Stanley discusses the value of amateurism, Paul Wilson looks at the world of the working men’s club, Owen Hatherley examines business management and Ian Penman celebrates the power of repetition, to make this point of view a compelling one. It has to be said though, some other bits are only minimally connected to the topic of The Fall.

Despite the lack of real relevance, several of these pieces are a good read on their own merits, like Elain Harwood’s history of Prestwich, and Manchester more generally, and Smith’s relationship with it. As someone who had zero interest in Smith’s literary tastes, Mark Sinker detailing the influence of Smith’s reading preferences on the band left me cold, as did the contributions by Michael Bracewell, Jon Wilde and Stuart Bertolotti-Bailey, on the subjects of MES and his hero Wyndham Lewis. Sian Pattenden’s micro memoir about the group’s poppier Brix Smith period is refreshingly light and also takes the spotlight away from Smith. This highlights one of the key shortcomings of a book supposedly not about Mark E Smith. There isn’t enough about the other members; Karl Burns and Craig Scanlon still need to tell their stories.  Few band members, even undoubtedly significant ones, merit much of a mention beyond the album credits. MES dominates here, as he tended to, right down to the inclusion of a couple of archive interviews.

The intention of Excavate to celebrate The Fall is unquestionably good. There’s a curious lack of variety and, perhaps most crucially, a lack of humour, always one of The Fall’s most overlooked qualities. You can argue that, when it’s at its most eccentric, baffling and challenging, Excavate is channelling the true spirit of The Fall. The best books on music are illuminating, insightful and inspiring, sending the reader back to the music in question with a fresh perspective and an injection of enthusiasm and Excavate does just that; read it from cover to cover to immerse yourself in the wonderful, frightening, wildly uneven and sadly curtailed world of The Fall.

I’m no longer a member of any lending library, but I do appreciate the loan of a good book and Tynemouth Cricket Club has good people who lend books out. I’m indebted to Di Brown for the chance to read the curiously affecting, slightly bitter and bathetic poetry cycle Man in the Long Grass by David Phillips. Despite the misfortune of being published by that notorious home to the pretentious and the preening, IRON Press, this is a genuinely affecting set of poems telling the story of a journeyman county cricketer’s final inglorious season of a less than stellar career. Struggling with the niggling injuries and disappearance of his talents that mark the signs of ageing in any cricketer, our anonymous hero also ponders over his recent divorce and what lies in store for his inevitable, imminent retirement. Thankfully, like a day’s play curtailed by rain, there’s neither a tragic nor romantic ending, just a kind of resigned acceptance of life ebbing away, as this is how things are and must be, providing the reader with an understanding of the essentially individual nature of any team game.

My thanks go to Brian Debnam who provided me with a chance to plug gaps in my ignorance about the evolution of pre-Industrial English rural and village life. Rather like E. P. Thompson’s The Making of the English Working Class, W. G. Hoskins draws a line in the sand beyond which his The Making of the English Landscape does not concern itself. For Thompson, the Great Reform Act of 1832 was his final curtain, while Hoskins calls time after the 1773 Inclosure Act, having examined the differing kinds of farming communities, hamlets and villages that prospered and died from the Iron age until the end of the three field system. Like Thompson, Hoskins adopts a hectoring, intolerant tone than comes across as comically furious, though from a somewhat more conservative (with or without a small c) perspective than Thompson’s. As someone whose only knowledge of landscape manipulation was via O Level History’s superficial peering at the Agrarian Revolution, I enjoyed this book, but can understand why rather more impersonal research tomes have become the go-to texts for undergraduates focussing on agronomic history in comparison to Hoskins, whose belligerence oft puts me in mind of Jimmy Edwards delivering a speech in Whacko!

MUSIC:

I await, with bated breath, Alex Rex’s next album, Paradise, and for my first gig since Alex Rex in Glasgow on February 1^st 2020, when the Band of Holy Joy will play at Tanners Bank in Shields on August 7^th. Before then there’s only been the 3 bits of vinyl I’ve been interested enough to buy since we last spoke. Things may have been different if the Dirty Three and Wire special editions for Record Store Day hadn’t been going for nigh on seventy quid, which I simply was not going to pay, or if the Bardo Pond releases had been available in Newcastle, as I didn’t see them anywhere. Instead I got myself the Mogwai soundtrack to the cult narco crime series Zero Zero Zero and the 40^th anniversary rerelease of Lonely Man by the Eric Bell Band on 10”.

Firstly, the latter release, which was something I remember at the time but didn’t get hold of. The former Thin Lizzy guitarist has worked with hundreds of ephemeral pick-up blues bands since Scott Gorham and Gary Moore took over his role, but none of them achieved much in terms of fame. You sense this is okay with Eric as, obviously, his main musical love is playing live blues with extended jam sessions de rigeur. As such, Lonely Man and the other takes on this 5-tracker are somehow instantly recognisable as being of the Six Counties, making a great companion piece to Right Way Home by the Xdreamysts for instance. How do you describe the sound? Van Morrison jamming with The Clash’s 1978 vintage perhaps. Musically, it’s great, though the lyrics are clearly of another era. I’m glad I bought it.

That sentiment goes for the Mogwai album as well. I’m not necessarily a great fan of soundtracks. Yo La Tengo are one of my top 10 bands, but I’ve not bothered to collect any of their film work; same with British Sea Power. However, as Mogwai are skilled practitioners of short, atmospheric instrumental pieces (not songs as such), I thought I’d give this stylish looking double 12” a go and it’s great. I mean it’s not a work of clear and obvious genius like this year’s As the Love Continues so clearly is, but it’s not just a load of whimsical incidental doodling either. Unfortunately, I’ve not seen the television series, so I can’t comment on how appropriate these sounds are to the moving images. What I can say for certain is that I’m much more amenable to the idea of picking up Mogwai soundtracks in the future than I was before I purchased Zero Zero Zero. 

Finally, I have to admit I’m a sucker for one hit wonder instrumentals; Hoots Mon by Lord Rockingham’s XI, Pepper Box by The Peppers and Telstar by The Tornadoes to name but a few. Another one I particularly like is Footsee by Wigan’s Chosen Few, mainly because the preposterous Stuart Maconie described it as an “execrable novelty” in one of his autohagiographies. I managed to track a copy of this one down via my Twitter pal Sam, who was about to stick it on Discogs. Luckily I dissuaded her and I’m now very glad to have a copy of it in my collection.  Saxophones, car horns, whistles and football style chanting combine to make this a glorious slice of throwaway trash,

Bigmouth Scribes Again

 Here we go; another 6 weeks in the life of Tynemouth Cricket Club -:

June 13^th:

It was another busy week at Tynemouth Cricket Club, with 8 games played during this period, stretching the club’s playing resources to the maximum. With work and family commitments to be considered, it really is commendable that both James Carr and Rashid “The Power” Hassan represented various TCC teams in 4 games each during the week just ended. Particular praise must go to Rashid, as he represented the Firsts, Thirds, Midweek Social XI and will assist the Seconds on Monday 14^th in a rearranged James Bell Cup game. Indeed, if he’d been asked, I’m sure the Sunday Third team could also have called upon his services. We should applaud both players for their dedication to the cause of Tynemouth CC.

The First XI began their week with a Tyneside Charity Bowl first round tie at home to Backworth on Tuesday night. Forced to field an inexperienced, if not experimental, team, Tynemouth were still able to perform with the requisite skill to advance to the second round. Batting first, Backworth accrued 108-5 from their 18 overs, with Sam Robson’s 2-20 and an impressive 1-3 from 3 overs by Adam Williams being the pick of the bowlers. In reply, Tynemouth achieved the win with an over to spare, mainly because of an unbeaten 34 by Mohammad Saad, ably assisted by Joe Snowdon’s fighting 27. Sadly the club’s interest in this year’s NEPL T20 competition came to an end with a comprehensive loss away to Lanchester, where the team selected would be better described as avant garde than experimental. A seemingly solid 148-5, built on the firm foundations of an opening partnership of 86 by Saad (43) and Ben Debnam (38), was chased down in 13.3 overs by an attacking Lanchester side, who lost only 2 wickets in the process.

On Saturday, Hetton Lyons came to Preston Avenue for the only fixture between the two teams in 2021, as the away leg was washed out in May. Batting first, the visitors posted an imposing 253-7, with Jarvis Clay taking top billing with a flawless 101 and Gary Scott also impressing with a pugnacious 76. The total could have been far higher, but for a dogged performance by David Mansfield, who reeled in the big hitting visitors when claiming 5-51 from 12 overs, aided by a pair of excellent catches by Stuart Poynter out in the deep. Tynemouth’s reply was not without highlights of its own; Ben McGee top scoring with an effortless, elegant 76, with lusty blows aplenty from Poynter and skipper Matty Brown, who both posted 53. However, any pretence of a run chase was put on ice just before tea when Saad was given out caught behind for 15, with the last overs dedicated to protecting the draw as Tynemouth closed on 215-6, to claim 10 points to Hetton’s 13.

The 2s had a similar result away to Ashington. Having been set 251 in 53 overs, following tidy spells by Neil Bennett (3-37) and Adam Williams (3-51), Tynemouth eventually ended on 199-8, with Chris Fairley (75) continuing to display excellent form with the bat, Richie Straughan chipping in with 42 and Matty Walton keeping the innings on course with an unbeaten 24.

Probably the most exciting game on Saturday saw the 3s dismiss Lintz 2s for 207, with Richie Hay (5-31) and Dan Storey (3-49) doing the damage. However, the reply was not all plain sailing, with the eventual margin of victory a meagre 2 wickets, though with 7 overs to spare. Finn Hodgson posted 51 and “The Power” thrashed a speedy 41, but it was Adam Tugby’s unbeaten 32 that saw the team collect another victory to remain top of NTCL Division 5 South.

Finally, the Midweek Social XI remain the only team in the club with a 100% winning record, after a pair of back to back victories over a superbly sporting Seaton Burn team. On Tuesday, Tynemouth batted first in the quarter final of the Ian Appleby Cup. Steven Mitchinson (30) and Matty Walton (29) gave the innings a solid start, before Freya Rook blitzed the middle order with a superb 3-15, including an elegant off cutter that utterly deceived the bespectacled James Carr. Neil “Cuddles” Sturrock came to the team’s assistance with a stylish unbeaten 33 that included two glorious maximums off the bowling of young Freya, taking the score to 133-7.  In response, Seaton Burn managed 101-6, with skipper Dan Storey standing out with a fine 3-21.

On Thursday, Seaton Burn played hosts. Batting first, they were restricted to 76-9, with Storey (3-8) again excelling and “Cuddles” chipping in with 2-10. The modest total seemed near insurmountable when the batting collapsed to 28-5, but Storey and Sturrock, both with unbeaten 22s, saw their side home with 6 overs to spare.

In the week ahead, the First XI host Percy Main in the Tyneside Charity Bowl on Wednesday and Blaydon in their final NEPL 1^st XI T20 group game, before travelling to Denton Bank for a league game against Benwell Hill on Saturday. The 2s go to Washington on Monday for a James Bell Cup game, and then host Benwell Hill at noon on Saturday. The Saturday 3s await news of their opponents in the Tom Barlow Cup but will definitely host Annfield Plain 2s on Saturday. The Sunday 3s are inactive and the Midweek Social XI make the journey to Riding Mill on Thursday evening.

June 20^th:

The continued threat posed by COVID was brought home this week by the effect of positive tests and the need for those who are asymptomatic to self-isolate on all teams at Tynemouth Cricket Club, from the first team to the Midweek Social XI. However, the rigorous adherence to protocols relating to test and trace allowed the club to put out three teams on Saturday, which is something to be proud of in such challenging times.

Tynemouth First XI began their busy week on Wednesday with a 37 run victory over Percy Main at Preston Avenue. Batting first, Tynemouth got off to a solid start, with opener Joe Snowdon scoring a brisk 34 before Mohammad Saad’s savage unbeaten 79 helped the home side post an intimidating 163-4 from their 20 overs. In reply, Percy Main were always in with a shout while opener Laurie Robson was at the crease. Once he departed for 68, the chase become unfeasible and the Main ended on 126-7, with the elegant James Carr (2-18) and Neil Bennett (2-19) the pick of the bowlers.

For their final T20 Group B game of 2021, Tynemouth played host to Blaydon on Friday night. Blaydon posted 104-7 from their 20 overs, a total that was never going to be enough, especially with Mohammad Saad at his sparking best. His unbeaten 64, including two massive sixes that clattered off the ridge tiles of adjacent properties on West Dene Drive, saw Tynemouth home with 8 overs to spare, for a 7 wicket victory.

Saturday saw Tynemouth make the journey to Denton Bank for an NEPL encounter. Having won the toss, Benwell Hill opted to bat first on what proved to be an intriguing combination of a challenging wicket and a lightning fast outfield. The Hill’s total of 197 all out was founded upon a determined, solid 88 from opener Phil Nicholson, who was last man out at the end of the 57^th over. Tynemouth’s bowling options were severely curtailed early in the Hill innings when Dan McGee, in cutting off what had seemed a certain boundary, injured his hamstring. While he was able to hobble through the remainder of Tynemouth’s time in the field, he was unable to bowl. Instead, the other bowlers stepped up and bowled their full allocations. Full marks go to Mohammad Saad for a truly superb 5-30 from 15 overs, including possibly the ball of the season to dismiss Benwell Hill and Scotland skipper Kyle Coetzer for 2, with an unplayable delivery that took out his off stump. David Mansfield (3-40) and Sean Longstaff (2-51) played their part as well, with special praise also for Andrew Smith who bowled his full spell unchanged from the Crematorium End, without a scrap of luck as regular edges flew through the slip cordon and raced to the boundary.

At the halfway stage, a target of 198 from 53 overs seemed perfectly attainable. However, the balance of probability shifted swiftly when Barry Stewart (27) was fourth wicket down, with only 32 on the board. The loss of the dangerous Saad without scoring had set alarm bells off in the away changing room and, with 44 overs to go, a dogged rearguard was the only option, especially with doubts about Dan McGee’s ability to bat. Wickets fell regularly and when Andrew Smith had his stumps reduced to splinters by a lightning fast Callum Harding delivery, leaving Tynemouth 89-6, things looked bleak. Harding returned figures of 4-34, but when he removed Josh Koen, with the score on 109-8 and 15 overs remaining, the prospect of seemingly certain defeat was rebuffed as skipper Matty Brown (65*) and Sean Longstaff (21*) dug in, obdurately refusing to give their wickets away. Fighting successfully against both of their natural instincts to hit out, they defended doggedly against everything The Hill could muster, securing a draw as Tynemouth finished on 151-8. It was a praiseworthy and encouraging performance from the whole team, proving that drawn games can be absorbing as win - loss ones.

Tynemouth 2s had a difficult week. On Monday, they were forced to concede their James Bell Cup away game against Washington because of the requirement for many players to self-isolate because of COVID regulations. Saturday’s home game against Benwell Hill 2s provided little succour, as they lost by 103 runs. Benwell Hill batted first, posting 209-7, with Chris Beever (3-21) the pick of the bowlers. The reply was a disappointing 106 all out, with only James Carr offering sustained resistance, with an elegant 35.

Better news came courtesy of the Saturday 3s, whose 6 wicket victory over Annfield Plain 2s, keeps them clear at the top of NTCL Division 5 South. The visitors won the toss and batted first, only to come up against excellent bowling from Matty Walton (3-21), Joel Hull-Denholm (2-24) and Graeme Hallam (2-28) whose endeavours restricted them to 142-7 from their 40 overs. In reply, club chairman Hallam (56*) took the game decisively away from Annfield Plain, assisted by Hull-Denholm (28*) as the total required was achieved after 33 overs for the loss of 4 wickets. The Sunday 3s were without a game and the Midweek Social XI were desperately unlucky to surrender their 100% winning record when conceding their away game to Riding Mill because of COVID protocols.

The coming week promises to be no less busy than the one just ended. Tynemouth CC First XI host Percy Main again on Tuesday evening in the Smithson Cup, before the daunting prospect of a visit to South Northumberland next Saturday. The 2s will host South North on Saturday, but also have an away game at Whitburn on Friday night in the Roseworth Trophy. The Saturday 3s host Morpeth 2s in the Tom Barlow Cup on Wednesday and then Newcastle 3s on Saturday, while the Sunday 3s visit Gateshead Fell. Finally, it is a crucial period for the Midweek Social XI, who visit Percy Main on Monday in the semi-final of the Ian Appleby Cup and play host to table-topping Benwell and Walbottle on Thursday.

 June 27^th:

Saturday 26^th June saw another set of games washed out for Tynemouth CC’s three teams on a day of continuous drizzle. Thankfully, the whole week’s play was not lost, with several cup games taking place in the days leading up to the weekend, though mention must immediately be made of Robbie Bowman’s sparkling 172 for Northumberland Under 13s in their victory over their Yorkshire counterparts at Benwell Hill. Even more impressive, Robbie’s runs came from only 80 balls and included 26 boundaries and 7 maximums, with a catch behind the stumps in the Yorkshire innings as a bonus.

Another batsman in fine form this week was club professional Muhammad Saad who struck an unbeaten 108 from 64 balls, including 10 fours and 5 sixes, as Tynemouth’s first XI continued their impressive run in knock-out games with a 9-wicket win over Percy Main in the quarter final of the Smithson Trophy.  Batting first, The Main posted an impressive 151 from their 20 overs, with the highlight being an unbeaten 86 by Philip Cramman. In reply, opener Saad took the game by the throat from the off, ably assisted by the two Bens, Debnam (19) and McGee (24*), ensuring Tynemouth won with 3 overs to spare.

Tynemouth 2s were due to play Whitburn away in the Roseworth Trophy on Friday night, but the game was called off because of wet weather. The Saturday 3s did play on Wednesday but lost by 8 wickets to Morpeth 2s in the Tom Barlow Cup. Despite a battling 28 by Joel Hull-Denholm, Tynemouth could only accrue 85-6 from their 18 overs, which the visitors overhauled in only 9.3 overs.

The Sunday 3s benefitted from clement weather, travelling to Gateshead Fell. Batting first, Patrick Hallam’s 45 and Robbie Bowman’s 32 helped Tynemouth set a competitive target, ending the innings on 145-6. In reply, Gateshead Fell reached the required total after 38 overs, 7 wickets down, just shading a tight game that was in the balance until the very end.

Finally, the Midweek Social XI were twice frustrated in the week past, once by the opposition and once by the weather. On Monday, Percy Main hosted Tynemouth in the semi-final of the Ian Appleby Cup. Batting first, a large total seemed on the cards with the visitors reached 70-1 at the halfway stage, but despite a patient 39 by Jack O’Keefe and a flamboyant 38 by Neil “Cuddles” Sturrock, a disappointing final total of 122-6 from 18 overs didn’t seem enough. So it proved; The Main winning with 2 overs to spare for the loss of only 3 wickets.

Thursday proved a much tighter affair when table-topping Benwell and Walbottle came to Preston Avenue. Continuing his rich vein of form, Sturrock contributed an unhurried 51, but was eclipsed by Rashid “The Power” Hassan who started slowly and finished explosively, holing out for 63. Tynemouth’s total of 155-5 seemed a modest one as the visitors raced to 98-0, despite the incessant drizzle. However, a change of bowling saw The Power take control of proceedings with 3-16, as Benwell subsided to 101-4. At this point, with 56 needed from a shade over 5 overs and ian cusack (1-3) menacing the cowering Benwell batsmen with his trademark hostility, the rain turned torrential, and no further play was possible.

Next week, Tynemouth first team are at home to Burnopfield, while the 2s face a trip to Gateshead Fell and the 3s are away to Consett 2s. The Sunday 3s entertain South Northumberland Academy and the Midweek Social XI go to Ashington Rugby on Thursday evening. Also, we’d like to wish all the very best of luck to 3 young Tynemouth players, Patrick Hallam, Joe Snowdon and Dan Thorburn who will be playing for Northumberland Under 18s versus Durham at Sunderland’s Ashbrooke on Tuesday.

July 4^th:

Despite severe interruptions for rain delays, all four of Tynemouth CC’s weekend teams acquitted themselves admirably, with some sparkling batting performances to be celebrated. Most deserving of plaudits was Niall Piper, who opened for the 2s away to Gateshead Fell and carried his bat for a glorious unbeaten 122, though there were other superb performances that will be discussed later.

Tynemouth first XI, and especially bowler Andrew Smith, had a dream start at home to Burnopfield, with an opening double wicket maiden. From the first ball of the game, Joe Snowdon stooped low to hold on to an edge from Matthew Oswell. Two balls later, Smith caught and bowled Patrick Cooper from the batsman’s tentative prod. With the away side yet to register a run, Muhammad Saad had Ben Robinson caught behind by skipper Matty Brown in the 4^th over, leaving the away side 0-3 and Tynemouth with their first bowling point by 11.15.  Full credit to Burnopfield, they recovered from this early series of shocks to progress to 82, when Neil Bennett had John Oswell caught by David Mansfield for a belligerent 48. The batsman was mortified by the stroke he’d played and had further time to reflect on it when the first rain shower of the day saw the teams take an early lunch with Burnopfield on 95-4.

After the break, Burnopfield progressed to 123, when Saad claimed his second wicket and Tynemouth’s second bowling point with another caught and bowled, diving forward to pouch Mitchell Killeen for 40. Soon after, another rain interval took the teams off for over 2 hours, meaning the game was reduced to 74 overs. Burnopfield compiled 169-5 from their allocation of 40, with the brutal and elegant Jacques Du Toit posting an unbeaten 57, replete with his trademark combination of stylish strokes and ferocious attacking.

Tynemouth needed to score at exactly 5 an over to win the game, with seemed a tough ask in such climactic circumstances. Indeed, the 144 required for a winning draw was almost as exacting a proposition, especially when the early dismissals of Ben Debnam and Saad left Tynemouth wobbling at 9-2. However, skipper Matty Brown has been in great nick of late and his unbeaten 70 was pivotal to the team’s success, though Ben McGee’s fluent and composed 67, in the context of a 128 run partnership for the third wicket, was of equal importance in the Tynemouth cause. Certainly, one would have willingly paid a penny for visiting captain Du Toit’s thoughts when McGee dispatched him into the pavilion for an enormous leg-side 6 and then followed it up with a beautifully timed 4, as Tynemouth closed in on victory. Following McGee’s dismissal, David Mansfield came to the crease and bludgeoned a rapid 15* that included a cracking boundary for the winning runs, as Tynemouth prevailed by an impressive 7 wickets with a mere 3 balls to spare.

Tynemouth 2s travelled to table-topping Gateshead Fell, where less severe weather meant a 90 over game was possible. Being asked to bat first, Tynemouth’s 243-5 from their 45 overs was based upon Piper’s superb century, though support was to be found from Sam Robson’s 62* and Andrew Lineham’s 33. The latter’s run out, having succeeded in tripping over his own bat, has become a viral internet sensation, thanks to Gateshead Fell’s live streaming of the game. In reply, Gateshead Fell managed 224-8, giving the away side a winning draw. Wickets were claimed by Richie Hay, with a determined 9-2-25-2 and Ricky Handa’s 7-0-41-3. It was an excellent display and the home side will feel relieved to have avoided defeat to an ebullient Tynemouth team.

The Saturday 3s were up in the hills to play Consett 2s, where downpours resulted in a curtailed contest of 20 overs a side. Tynemouth batted first, scoring 159-5, which proved sufficient as Consett closed on 145-7. The result means Tynemouth Saturday 3s remain top of NTCL Division 5 South, 18 points ahead of Greenside.

The Sunday 3s hosted South North Academy and pulled off an impressive win by 44 runs. Batting first, Tynemouth finished their 40 overs on 236-8. Incessant rain ended any hopes of a full game with South North on 81-2 from 21.2 overs, meaning the Duckworth Lewis Method favoured the home side, as South North needed to have scored 126 for victory when play was suspended.

Next week, Tynemouth first XI have an away semi-final in the Tyneside Charity Bowl to Annfield Plain. The game is currently scheduled for Wednesday, but the game may be moved due to another sporting event taking place that night. What is certain is that they are away to Eppleton next Saturday. The 2s have their NEPL 2^nd XI T20 quarter final at Hetton Lyons on Friday night, before hosting Boldon on the Saturday. The Saturday 3s have a titanic clash away to Greenside, with a place at the top of NTCL Division 5 South at stake, while the Sunday 3s host Blaydon.

 July 11^th:

It has been a slightly surreal week for Tynemouth Cricket Club. At 9.00 on Monday morning, Andrew Linehan became an internet sensation when footage of his unfortunate dismissal against Gateshead Fell went viral after The Cricketer retweeted it. Indeed, Liners was only shunted off the cyber sports pages by trivialities such as Jimmy Anderson claiming his 1,000^th wicket and the entire England ODI squad going into Covid isolation. One piece of news that must be reported is George, son of Tynemouth stalwart Barry Stewart, claiming his first wicket for the county, as Northumberland Under 11s saw off their Yorkshire counterparts at Pateley Bridge CC. Well done, young man!!

Sadly, George’s adult clubmates were unable to replicate his success, with the exception of an astonishing Sunday 3s fixture that saw Tynemouth dismiss visitors Blaydon for 26, with Ricky Handa claiming 5 wickets and Sean Aditjandra chipping in with 3 victims. The home side won by 9 wickets, with a shade over 36 overs to spare.

On Saturday, Tynemouth CC first XI journeyed to Church Road, Eppleton and, in a game of two distinct climactic experiences, roughly contiguous to the separate innings, lost by 5 wickets. It was a toss worth winning on a morning so cloying and steamy that it would have served as the ideal setting for a Tennessee Williams play and with a pitch of so green a hue that Sean O’Casey could have poetically eulogised about it; sadly, Matt Brown called wrong and so Tynemouth were asked to bat first. Continuing the dramatic theme, Jack McBeth inflicted a 6 act tragedy on the visitors, claiming half a dozen victims from 13.3 overs and outshining Eppleton professional Sadaf Hussain (2 for 37 from a full 15 overs).

Batting was almost impossible on an uncomfortably sticky morning, under a thick blanket of heavy, grey clouds, with the ball giving assistance to bowlers in almost every over. Indeed, the only reason Tynemouth made as many as the paltry 156 they did was down to extras top scoring with 38, though Muhammad Saad’s 30, the skipper’s 21 and Andrew Smith’s belligerent 19 were of vital importance. The real turning point was the dismissal of David Mansfield courtesy of a stunning catch above his head by Kyle Davis as the final 4 Tynemouth wickets contributed a mere 6, as the tail wagged like the invisible appendage of a decidedly slothful Manx moggy.

It could be argued that, had the clouds not dissipated and the sun not borne down as ferociously as it did, 156 could have been enough. Sadly, the benign conditions dried the demons from the pitch, hastened the outfield appreciably and left the ever willing Tynemouth attack frustrated on a broiling afternoon. Having tenaciously dismissed half the Eppleton team, the pivotal moment was Ryan Downes surviving sustained appeals for unsporting behaviour as Tynemouth attempted to run him out. That would have left Eppleton 6 down with 25 still needed; as it was, the home batsmen completed the win in an untroubled fashion with over 30 overs to spare.

The 2s were in action on Friday night in an NEPL 2^nd XI T20 quarter final away to Hetton Lyons, who proved too strong on the night. Having made 128-8, with Chris Beever (3-23) and Sam Robson (2-33) bowling with great credit, Hetton dismissed Tynemouth for 85. After Niall Piper (23) and Rachid “The Power” Hassan (16), only Patrick Hallam (13*) made double figures as the home side prevailed by 42 runs. On Saturday, the 2s were left without a game as Boldon 2s were unable to fulfil the fixture because of Covid guidelines.

Tynemouth Saturday 3s have surrendered their position at the summit of the NTCL Division 5 South table, having lost heavily to their nearest rivals Greenside, who are now 5 points ahead. Having won the toss and inserted the hosts, Tynemouth saw Greenside amass 197-9 in their 40 overs. Hamish Swaddle-Scott (4-51) was the pick of the bowlers, with the target not seen to be insurmountable at the halfway stage. Unfortunately, Tynemouth were dismissed for 100 exactly, with only Matty Walton (36) showing real resistance. It is only the Saturday 3s second loss of the season, so there are assuredly enough strong characters in the team to bounce back from this setback.

Next week, is a busy one. On Monday 12^th, Tynemouth 2s travel to Whitburn in a James Bell Cup game. On Wednesday the first XI are away to Annfield Plain in a rearranged Tyneside Charity Bowl semi-final, while the Sunday 3s host South North in a Banks Cup tie. Thursday sees the Midweek Social XI take on Newcastle City. On Saturday, the 1s host Sacriston while the 2s make the reverse journey. However, these games are subject to confirmation that Sacriston are clear of Covid. The Saturday 3s host Benwell and Walbottle 2s, while the Sunday 3s are away to Newcastle Academy.

July 18^th:

If one were to take a straw poll among the players, members, and supporters of Tynemouth Cricket Club as to who has gone above and beyond the level of dedication expected this year, then the unanimous response would be Rashid “The Power” Hassan. In his first season with the club, Rashid has made himself available at every possible opportunity, meaning he has turned out for the 1s, 2s, Saturday 3s, Sunday 3s and Midweek sides, giving him a clean sweep of all adult teams. Undoubtedly, this is a fantastic achievement. This weekend, his commitment was rewarded with a maiden century for Tynemouth, when The Power lustily smote 117 (treble 20, single 17, double top) for the Saturday 3s as they crushed visitors Benwell and Walbottle 2s by 143 runs on the hottest day of the year. Well done, Rashid; you are an inspiration to us all!!

Tynemouth 1s had an unexpected free midweek, progressing to the semi-final of the Tyneside Charity Bowl when opponents Annfield Plain conceded because of rampant COVID cases among their squad and community. As a result, Tynemouth will have a semi-final away to either Shotley Bridge or Morpeth on Wednesday 21^st. The fixture will be announced on social media when the opponents are known.

On Saturday, the first XI bounced back from defeat at Eppleton the week before to comprehensively outclass a young and inexperienced Sacriston side. However, it must be noted that Tynemouth themselves were far from at full strength; skipper Matty Brown was observing COVID self-isolation protocols, requiring Ben Debnam to assume the captaincy and Chris Fairley to take up residency behind the stumps, while David Mansfield is hors de combat for the rest of the season with a broken hand and neither of the Durham players, Mike Jones or Stuart Poynter, were available for selection. One first team regular who was available was Stakhanovite medium pacer Andrew Smith and his meritorious 12-2-44-5 was the main reason Sacriston were contained to a manageable 168 all out from 42 overs. While the team were grateful to Smith for his efforts, the bowler must pay tribute to his comrades; Muhammad Saad’s stunning diving catch to dismiss Martin Hubber was a sublime example of slip fielding brilliance. Saad himself bowled with his trademark accuracy and penetration, returning figures of 15-4-47-3, while Neil Bennett continued his fine run of form in the first team, posting 2-28 from 8 overs. For Sacriston, Ross Whitfield scored a composed and unhurried 68, full of technically fluent strokes, but received little meaningful support, other than Dan Thexton’s pugnacious 48.

The reply was never exactly a cakewalk, as the early departure of Ben Debnam showed, but in the main the Tynemouth’s batting was always in the ascendancy. Niall Piper, promoted from the 2s, opened and made an attacking 39 before being bowled after essaying a rather too aggressive heave, with the score on 53. The experienced duo of Saad and Barry Stewart added a further 50 runs, in almost serene fashion, before Stewart was bowled, also for 39. Saad reached his half century before feathering a catch to keeper Thexton with the score on 151. From that moment on, Josh Koen (23*) and Chris Fairley (5*) saw Tynemouth home without further mishap for a full haul of 30 points.

Tynemouth 2s made the reverse journey to Sacriston and came away with an impressive win, by a margin of 4 wickets. Batting first, the home side made rapid early progress, but the young Tynemouth side showed determination; none more so than Joel Hull-Denholm who made the breakthrough with 78 on the board. Sacriston continued to play shots, while Tynemouth regularly pegged them back, with Adam Williams doing his best by posting 3-50 from 12 overs. At 185-5 the game was finely balanced, until Patrick Hallam (3-14) and Ricky Handa (2-36) helped dismiss Sacriston for 208 from 48 overs.

In reply, the four young lions of Tynemouth’s budding golden generation: Hamish Swaddle-Scott (47), Dan Thorburn (33), Joe Snowdon (27) and Patrick Hallam (20) all made vital runs, but with 40 required, it was the Last of the Summer Wine who saw Tynemouth home. Andrew Lineham (29*) and Graeme Hallam (27*) used their wisdom and experience to secure the victory.

As already mentioned, the Saturday 3s had The Power’s century as the centrepiece of an imposing 225-5 against Benwell & Walbottle 2s, ably supported by Chris Grievson with 35. In response, the visitors were never in the chase and subsided to 81 all out with Ed Snelders (3-12) and Ray Ban attired acting captain Dan “Roy Orbison” Storey (2-11), deputising for the hamstrung Richie Hay, mopping up the tail, after Sean Aditjandra (2-13) had contributed another impressive spell. News of Greenside’s defeat meant Tynemouth 3s return to the summit of NTCL Division 5 South. It was also encouraging to see Andrew Davison returning from a broken arm, with a steady 10* and an economical spell with the ball.

On Thursday, the Midweek Social XI ended their recent enforced hiatus and defeated Newcastle City by 18 runs in a competitive and compelling encounter. Batting first, Tynemouth amassed 129-7 in 18 overs, with Sam Robson and that man The Power top scoring with 37 each. Batting in the last few overs, skipper Dan Storey made an important unbeaten 19, including 3 boundaries, that effectively was the difference between the two sides. The eternally elegant James Carr, resplendent in shades like a sultry Milanese paninaro in a widescreen Michelangelo Antonioni feature, shrugged off his 0 with the bat and 5 wides from his first delivery, to return figures of 5-15 and effectively win the game for Tynemouth. His final victim, Archie McNaughton, reinforced Carr’s reputation as il martello degli scozzesi. With 3 games still to go, the unbeaten Midweek XI are still realistic contenders for the title.

Next week, as already mentioned, the first XI will travel to either Shotley Bridge or Morpeth on Wednesday for a Tyneside Charity Bowl semi-final. When opponents are finalised, details will be posted on Tynemouth Cricket Club twitter (@TynemouthCC). On Thursday, the second team are away to Whitburn in the Roseworth Trophy, while the Midweek XI travel to Churchill to play Monkseaton.  On Friday, the 1s visit Newcastle for their Smithson Cup semi-final. As regards league cricket, the first XI host Whitburn on Saturday, while the 2s make the reverse journey and the Saturday 3s visit Leadgate 2s. Finally, the Sunday 3s face off against Benwell Hill at Denton Bank.

 July 25^th:

Tynemouth 1s, severely weakened by injury and illness, endured a difficult few days that comprised 3 losses, including 2 semi-finals and a home defeat to the team bottom of the table at the start of play. First up, Tynemouth travelled to Morpeth on Wednesday for a Tyneside Charity Bowl meeting with Morpeth. Batting first, TCC reached 98-7 from their 18 overs. Opener and stand-in skipper Ben Debnam top scored with 30 and received solid support from Barry Stewart (21), though none of the other batsmen really got going. In reply, Morpeth reached their target, 4 wickets down and with 2 overs to spare.

On Friday, Newcastle were the hosts as Tynemouth visited Osborne Avenue for a Smithson Cup semi-final. Again Tynemouth batted first, this time amassing 104-8, which did not appear to be enough, despite some late, lusty blows by Graeme Hallam. This certainly seemed the case as Newcastle raced to 79-1. However Dan McGee took his second wicket with a smart caught and bowled, while Ricky Handa produced a magical couple of overs in which he took 3 wickets, leaving Newcastle tottering at 84-5. Unfortunately that proved to be the high spot of the evening and Newcastle won the game without further mishap.

If the two cup defeats had been predicted because of the weakened sides Tynemouth had been forced to field, then it was certainly the case that the return of skipper Matty Brown from a period of COVID isolation gave grounds for optimism when Whitburn arrived at Preston Avenue. Positivity was soon in short supply after Kieran Waterson dismissed Ben McGee and Barry Stewart in consecutive balls in the opening over, leaving Tynemouth 0-2 and scratching their head over the wisdom of batting first, having won the toss. Skipper Brown then came to the crease to partner Debnam and the two of them took the score to 96, at which point Brown perished at first slip the ball after he had completed a fluent half century. Ben Debnam (68) then took centre stage, helping Tynemouth to a competitive total. At the end of the innings, Sam Robson showed great counter attacking intent in contributing a fighting 30. When he was out, with the score at 185, Brown declared 9 wickets down, leaving Whitburn 57 overs to score 186.

After Owen Gourley had Lee Henderson dismissed, caught behind by Chris Fairley, without scoring, it looked like a tight contest was in the offing. Unfortunately, Tynemouth’s already lightweight attack was further denuded by Dan McGee limping off with a recurrence of his troublesome hamstring injury, after only bowling a single over. Sam Robson stood up and made a solid contribution as the team’s spin option, dismissing Adam May caught and bowled. Unfortunately, May had made 67 and Whitburn were 120 when the second wicket went down. Robson took another wicket, when Andrew Smith caught Ross Richardson (25), with the score on 163. Opener Paul Shields (68*) then took charge, leaving Tynemouth in fifth place in the NEPL table. The scorecard may be accessed here: https://tynemouth.play-cricket.com/website/results/4603749

Tynemouth 2s enjoyed contrasting fortunes in two away fixtures against their Whitburn counterparts in the week just finished. Firstly, on Thursday, an oft postponed James Bell Cup game ended in a solid win for the visitors, who posted 159 and came home by 8 runs after an exciting  chase. Unfortunately, the wicket for Saturday’s league game did not prove as congenial for Tynemouth, who subsided to 69 all out in 23 overs, with Andrew Lineham (20) top scoring. Whitburn’s Elliott “Hitman” Hearn weighed in with a knockout 7-34 to leave the visitors on the canvas. The home side knocked off the runs in only 9.5 overs, with Graeme Hallam’s 2-17 the best of the bowling, resulting in Tynemouth remaining in 8^th place in the NEPL Saturday Division 2. The scorecard may be accessed here: https://tynemouth.play-cricket.com/website/results/4604863

The Saturday 3s remain at the top of NTCL Division 5 South, nicely setting up their top of the table home clash with GEMS 2s next Saturday, after beating Leadgate 2s by 7 wickets. The home team batted first and were dismissed for 122, with Tynemouth reaching the target with 3 wickets down from 13 overs. Disappointingly, the Midweek Social XI conceded their third successive away game, because of a lack of players prepared to journey to far distant Monkseaton and face opponents winless in 2 years.

Next week, the 2s are away to Newcastle 2s in a James Bell Cup quarter final on Tuesday, while the Midweek Social XI welcome Benwell & Walbottle for their last home game of the season. On Saturday, Tynemouth CC first XI visit Burnmoor in a reverse of the opening day fixture that we lost by 3 runs, while the 2s host Sunderland. As already mentioned, the table topping Saturday 3s have a compelling clash with their nearest rivals GEMS 2^nd XI, while the Sunday 3s host Gateshead Fell.